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tickleee · 3 years ago

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To Have and to Hold

Word count: 19,200

Pairing: Loki x f!reader (pre-dating)

Warnings: angst, sexual innuendos/humor (but SFW), drinking of alcohol (no drunkenness), kissing, the old 'there's only one bed' trope, marriage (but not reader's), Jessa's attempt at writing in original characters

Here it is - my 100th fic posted! It's hard to believe I've posted that many 😅 Thank you all for continuing to read my ramblings and for enjoying my work!

The plot for this was inspired by real-life recent events (although the specifics are all fictional.) I'm sure many people have had a friend who became a bit... challenging while planning a wedding. I wondered how such a scenario might work if Loki were to have to come as the wedding date 😉 When I started writing it, I decided I wanted to write in a reader with enhanced abilities for a change, and I sort of got carried away from there...

I hope you enjoy! It was a lot of fun to write 💚

As an Avenger, you'd fought against a host of villainous creatures. But of all the monsters you’d faced, the 'Bridezilla' was truly the most fearful you'd encountered thus far.

It had taken up residence in your best friend’s body like a parasite, feeding off her emotions and stress and growing stronger with each passing day. There was no defeating this monster - defeat would surely mean a lost friendship. Fortunately, the Bridezilla’s days were numbered. You just had to survive it’s fury for the next two weeks.

And then came the phone call that put you directly in the center of the Bridezilla’s target.

"Don't be mad, but... I can't come to the wedding with you anymore."

"... What do you mean?"

"I got assigned to go to a work conference that week. I tried to get out of it, but the boss isn't hearing it."

Your heart sank. Derek was your only guy friend that you felt comfortable taking as a date to weddings. There was absolutely no pressure with him, no worry that you might get caught up in the romance of the evening. Mostly because he wasn't interested in women. But, also, because he'd been one of your best friends since you were kids.

"I'm so, so sorry. I know this was important to you-"

"No, Derek, it's ok! I'll just go by myself, its not like I don't know anyone there. You can't make your boss mad again..."

"Don't remind me." He laughed on the other end of the phone, and you smiled despite yourself. "We'll get together soon, though, ok?"

"Ok. I'll hold you to it."

You sighed heavily as you hung up the phone, letting your head flop back against your mattress in exasperation. The wedding was only two weeks away; you'd already RSVP'd for two, and you just knew your friend was going to freak out when you told her you were going alone. You loved her dearly, honestly, but over the last couple of months a monster had emerged from deep within her.

Allowing yourself a moment of peace, you finally picked your phone back up and dialed your friend's number, ready to get this painful conversation over with.

"What?? No. No, you can't," she stammered into the phone. You could envision her running her fingers through her hair in a frenzied panic. "You RSVP'd for TWO people. If you go alone, there will be an EMPTY chair. I can-NOT have an empty chair at the BRIDAL PARTY TABLE!"

"I'm sorry, Leah! I'm not going to make Derek get in trouble with his boss. What am I supposed to do?"

"Find. Someone. Else."

You laughed humorlessly. "Someone else? Leah, have you met me? I don't exactly have a whole list of guys to go down that might come to a wedding with me in the Bahamas."

"Then bring a woman."

"Not the point."

Leah huffed into the phone. "Look - I don't care who it is, but you have to bring someone. Bring another friend, bring a coworker, a family member... whatever. But there will NOT be an empty chair at my bridal party table!"

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration. Part of you was desperate for this wedding to be over - as happy as you were for Leah, you just wanted your laid-back friend back.

"Alright. I'll ask around."

"Thank you!" she exclaimed, suddenly flipping a switch and becoming her friendly self again. You had pacified the Bridezilla for now. "Can't wait to see you!"

"You too," you responded with feigned enthusiasm.

You'd thought that phone call would be the most difficult part of your day, but the real challenge was just beginning. Who could you convince to come with you to this destination wedding on two weeks' notice?

Before even considering approaching anyone, you sought out Wanda for advice that evening.

The connection between you and Wanda had developed almost instantly after you joined the Avengers. She was the only person who could truly understand your past experiences. Not that the others were insensitive. It was one thing to hear you speak about your traumatic past, but to have someone who had lived through it made your burden much easier to bear.

Before Wanda and her twin brother had volunteered for HYDRA's experiments, you had been selected as one of the civilian guinea pigs on whom they would test the powers of the scepter, and consequently, the mind stone. Most of the other civilians who were subjected to its power were killed in the process. You had lasted longer than most of them, enduring painful periods of exposure to the scepter but never for long enough for it to kill you as it had the other test subjects. They'd hoped that gradual increases in exposure might make you immune to the inevitable demise that met every subject that came before you.

During the final experiment, you were locked in the room with the scepter, cowering and awaiting your judgement. As it had with so many others, it unleashed a burst of power that knocked you to the floor. You were barely breathing, but somehow, you managed to survive. However, your vital signs were nearly undetectable.

HYDRA assumed you'd perish like the others and tossed you unceremoniously into an unlocked cell, awaiting your eventual death. Something sparked inside you, then - an innate survival instinct that triggered a sudden burst of power from within. You practically glowed with the energy radiating from your skin, a strength building that you'd never known before. As the radical energy surged inside you, so followed a powerful rage that flared beyond your control. Most of the events that followed were a blur in your mind as that blinding fury consumed you. You managed to escape the HYDRA facility without any assistance, striking down anyone who dared get in your way. By the time you'd made it to safety, you collapsed from the sheer exhaustion of expending so much energy all at once.

When you awoke, you were on the Avengers helicarrier, lying on a stretcher within their med bay. You'd been unconscious for three days. Fortunately, they'd received intel that there was a superhuman being who'd managed to flee from HYDRA's captivity, and they'd come looking for you. Better to have you on the right side of good and evil, they'd decided.

And so, you joined the ranks of SHIELD and became an Avenger.

It was rare that you exerted the full extent of your powers. At baseline, you did have heightened senses and slightly enhanced strength, which made you a formidable opponent. On the few occasions you did let loose the full force of your abilities, you'd completely lost control. The first time, it had taken three Avengers to restrain you until you expended the swell of energy and collapsed. The next time, they were more prepared - injecting you with a tranquilizer intended for much larger beings and locking you away in a high security cell until the episode was over.

You'd been working closely with Wanda to try to gain control over your powers, and you'd made some progress thus far, but you were still too fearful to completely unleash the chaos inside of you intentionally. Even on Wanda, who had proven already that her powers were enough of a match for your own that she could defend herself while talking you down.

Naturally, she was the only person you felt comfortable talking to about some of the more personal issues that came along with your abilities. On the field, you were confident, unshakable, as long as you kept your cool. But during your down time, you just didn't know how to relax anymore. None of your friends outside of the Avengers knew about your enhanced abilities. You lived in constant fear that someone might find out about them; or, worse - that you might injure someone you cared about in one of your rage fits. Though Wanda thought you were too hard on yourself, she understood how you felt. You could go to her for consolation and advice, and she provided a calming presence to ease your worry.

Above all, you resolutely refused to get involved in a romantic relationship. There was far too much risk to anyone who chose to be your partner - if HYDRA ever came looking for you, they could easily capture someone you loved to use them against you. Or - just as you often worried about with your friends - you, yourself, could harm them mistakenly should your powers be set off accidentally. You'd decided it was best that you kept your head down and focused on your work.

"Who the hell am I going to get to come with me on a four-day trip to attend a wedding for a couple they don't even know??" you groaned, flopping melodramatically back against the sofa cushions. Wanda set a glass of wine out in front of you on the table wordlessly, and you sat back up with an appreciative half-smile.

"She really won't let you come without a date?" Wanda asked incredulously as she took her own seat beside you, setting her glass on the table.

"I mean, I doubt she'd bar me from coming to the wedding if I came alone, but I'd never hear the end of it..." You took a sip from your glass, closing your eyes as the acidic fruity flavor washed over your tongue. "And as crazy as she's been, she is still one of my best friends. I want her wedding to be everything she's dreamed it would be. Even if her demands are a bit..."

"Outrageous?" Wanda finished for you.

"I was going to say 'unorthodox,' but yeah, that about sums it up." You turned toward Wanda a bit more, fiddling with the rim of your glass absently. "You sure you can't just come as my date?"

"You know I would, but that charity event is the same night."

"Oh, that's right. Damn." You'd forgotten there would be a fundraiser that evening, hosted by none other than Tony Stark. Most of the team was going to be in attendance in an attempt to increase ticket sales to the general public, and the few that weren't attending needed to be on standby to save the world. 'Evil doesn't wait until it's convenient,' Steve would insist. "Ugh. That limits the pool of people available for me to ask even more."

"Sorry," Wanda lamented, placing a comforting hand on your knee. She pondered for a moment. "What about that new lab tech Bruce hired?"

"Larry? Hell no - he doesn't stop talking. EVER. I am NOT spending four days with him.”

"Right. Fair point." She took a sip of wine, then made an ah-ha noise in the back of her throat before swallowing it. "Oh! What about the senior SHIELD recruit? He's definitely had his eye on you."

"Kyle isn't my type."

"No one is your type."

"Yeah, but he's definitely not my type. He's incredibly condescending. I've seen him talking down to his trainees. He's a world-class jerk."

"Are you sure you aren't just making excuses because you don't want to date someone?" Wanda asked skeptically.

"No..." You sighed. "You know how I feel about dating. It would be irresponsible of me. But even if I did want to date someone, Kyle would not be that person."

"Well... there's always Loki." She flashed you a sly smirk. You felt your cheeks start to burn at the suggestion.

"Wanda! You know I can't ask him."

"Why not? You two are friends, you clearly like being around him... what would keep you from asking him to come with you?"

"I... Wanda, you know what the implications of that would be!"

"What, that your date backed out last minute and you need a friend to fill in to prevent Bridezilla from biting your head off?" Her smirk only grew as your mouth opened and closed, helplessly at a loss for words. "Seems to me it would be the perfect solution to your problem."

"What if he gets the wrong idea?"

"What, that you like him?"

"Yes. That."

Wanda placed her hand on yours where it rested on the sofa. "You're allowed to be happy, you know. I wish you'd stop punishing yourself."

"I'm not punishing myself. I'm being practical."

"Ok. Let's take it from a practical standpoint, then. Loki is from Asgard, he's a god with magic powers. If your concern is hurting him, I don't think you need to be too worried about it."

She had a point. His powers were likely at least an even match for yours, though you were afraid to test that theory. But that was only part of what was truly holding you back.

You did like Loki. A lot. Too much, actually. He was a good friend, one of the few others in the tower who had an inkling of an understanding of what you'd gone through. He, too, had experienced the effects of the mind stone, and the control it had exerted over him had turned him into a monster. In some sense, it had done the same to you - just not quite as obviously as it did for him.

But that wasn't the reason you'd developed feelings for him. He was witty, sarcastic, knowledgeable... He wore a regal confidence that was extremely attractive to you, but without the condescending nature that you hated in people like Kyle the SHIELD recruit. And he made you laugh - gods he made you laugh. Even when you didn't want to, he managed to find a way to draw a bit of laughter from you, and instantaneously you'd feel so much better.

Allowing yourself to fall in love with Loki would only give you something to lose. Something that could be used against you if an enemy decided you deserved it. And worse - it would give him something to lose if anything ever happened to you. You couldn't let yourself fall completely for him, because the fear of losing him or hurting him had a choke hold on you. So, you'd convinced yourself that falling in love would only be an unnecessary distraction from your work. Loki could be a friend, and nothing more.

"Why don't you just explain to him what happened? Then he'll know this isn't intended to be a 'date' in the romantic sense," Wanda suggested.

"Well... he does owe me a pretty big favor."

"Perfect. Tell him you're cashing in."

"Ugh... fine. But only because I can't think of anyone else who will be free that I'd be able to tolerate for four days." You propped your feet up on the table in front of you and leaned back against the sofa cushions. "I'll talk to him tomorrow. Right now, I need to finish this glass of wine and talk about how I regret my life choices."

"Cheers to that," Wanda laughed, clinking her glass against yours.

You changed the subject after that, asking about how Wanda's relationship with Vision had been going. Still, the thought of asking Loki to go to this wedding was stuck in the forefront of your mind. It was a huge ask - being in your friend's bridal party, you had a number of extra responsibilities over the course of the few days you'd be spending in the Bahamas, and inevitably he'd have to do a lot of socializing. Not to mention, you couldn't imagine a Frost Giant would be overly keen on the tropics. Not that the subject had ever come up in conversation.

By the next morning, you'd nearly psyched yourself out of asking him. You couldn't possibly subject him to such a torturous experience just so you would have someone to fill the empty seat at your table.

Unfortunately, Wanda had picked up on your reluctance. The moment Loki entered the kitchen where the two of you were having coffee, she spoke up before you could even say 'good morning.'

"Oh, perfect timing! I'll leave you two alone so you can talk to Loki," Wanda exclaimed, leaping to her feet. You shot her a glare as she grinned at you before turning and walking out of the room, brushing past a rather confused-looking God of Mischief.

"Talk to me about what?" he asked, a hint of concern in his tone. You took a breath, putting on your tough façade to hide the nervousness.

"You remember that time that I let you tag along on my mission to Mexico, just so you could escape your brother when he was going through that sappy romance movie phase of his?"

Loki winced at the memory. "Yes, I remember it rather clearly."

"You remember you said you owed me one?"

"Yes...?"

"I'm cashing in."

Loki wore an expression of curious skepticism, crossing the room to sit down in the chair that Wanda had so swiftly vacated upon his arrival. "I'm listening."

"Yesterday, I got a call from my friend telling me he could no longer come to the wedding I'm going to in a couple weeks." You paused for a breath, and Loki's eyebrows shot up as he tilted his head, urging you silently to continue. "So I called my friend who's getting married, and she freaked out about having an empty chair at the bridal party table."

At this point, you assumed Loki would have figured out where you were going with this. If he did, he showed no sign of it.

"Go on," he prompted.

"Ok... that leads me to my request. I'm asking if you would be willing to take his place."

Loki was silent for a moment. He didn't appear disgusted, at least, but he didn't exactly seem overly thrilled about the prospect either.

"What are the terms of the agreement?" he asked finally.

"Well... you'd come with me to the Bahamas for the wedding, attend the rehearsal dinner and the wedding with me... try your hardest not to make fun of the wedding festivities in front of the bride... that's about it, I think. You'd get a free three-night stay in a fancy hotel, if that's any consolation."

"I see." Loki fell silent again, and the excuses began bubbling up in your throat, your stern façade dropping just as quickly as you'd turned it on.

"I'm, er, not saying you have to go. I know it's a big ask, and probably an unfair one at that... and you won't know anyone else there, so if you feel like it might be too awkward..."

"Darling, when have you known me to appear awkward when schmoozing with strangers?" A slight grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. "They don't call me silver-tongued for nothing."

"Alright, but still. I'm not forcing you to go. Just making that clear."

Loki chuckled. "As if you could force me to do anything."

"Hey! You've never been on the other end of one of my rage fits," you retorted, a grin overtaking your face. He was teasing you, which made this all feel much less uncomfortable. You were used to him teasing you. "I need an answer - if you say no, I've got to go ask Larry the chatterbox, and I'm really hoping to avoid that."

"Oh, dear. You should have led with that. Of course I'll go - I won't subject you to that dull lab rat."

You nearly leapt out of your chair, managing to rein in your excitement at the last moment and instead smile brightly at your companion. "Thank you so much! You've no idea how much this means to me!"

"Does this mean you owe me a debt now instead?" he asked with a smirk.

"Depends on how you perform as a wedding date," you teased, winking at him. With a shake of his head, he stood and headed over to the stove to heat some water for his tea - the real reason he'd walked into the kitchen in the first place, as he reminded you with feigned annoyance.

The two weeks that led up to the date of your departure were somewhat of a blur. You were grappling back and forth between the insuppressible elation of having Loki coming with you on this trip and the stubborn resolve that you weren't going to allow this to make you fall for him. By the time the pair of you were leaving for the airport two weeks later, you had convinced yourself you were more than capable of handling this situation without allowing your feelings to get the best of you.

You claimed the window seat the moment you boarded the plane, getting yourself settled as Loki dropped into the seat beside you.

"Have you ever flown on a commercial plane before?" you asked as he buckled his seatbelt across his lap.

"It's been a few decades, but yes, I did once."

"Really?" His answer surprised you. You'd always assumed he simply traveled by bifrost everywhere - what need did he have for Midgardian travel? "Where were you going?"

A slow smirk spread across his face, piquing your curiosity. "Nowhere in particular." You tilted your head in confusion, prompting him to continue. "Have you ever heard of the infamous D.B. Cooper?"

"I have... wait- no. No WAY were you... seriously??" Your jaw dropped open as Loki nodded, his self-assured smirk widening. "You devil!"

"Hehey, it wasn't my decision! I lost a bet to my dear brother," he insisted, chuckling as you shoved his shoulder playfully.

"Still! I can't believe that was you!"

"Why so surprised? I always have enjoyed a bit of mischief."

"Yes, but this is an unsolved American mystery! You've fooled an entire nation!"

"That's nothing."

Loki proceeded to tell you about his mischievous endeavors in his younger years as the plane took off and set course to your destination. You listened intently, laughing at his wild tales. This felt normal to you, this chatter and joking and laughter had always been a part of your friendship. It helped take your mind off the fact that you were about to spend the next four days in Loki's company, without allowing yourself to succumb to your feelings.

A thought that only became more blatantly obvious when the two of you finally made it into the hotel room you'd be staying in for the next three nights.

You cursed under your breath when your gaze landed on the solitary bed in the room. One bed. Of course. The room itself was nice, with beachy wicker-style furniture and sage green walls, all very tropical. A set of double doors on the far wall led out to a small patio area on the beach, and a single door on the wall to your left opened into the bathroom.

"I'll talk to the woman at the front desk," you mumbled, trying not to catch Loki's eye as you left your bag by the side of the bed unopened. "They must have a room with two beds."

"Alright." His response was nonchalant, noncommittal. Clearly he wasn't as mortified as you felt internally. Then again, he wasn't the one trying to suppress feelings for the other person sleeping in this room.

You ducked out of the room and made a quick stop at the check-in desk, where the concierge informed you that, unfortunately, all the rooms had been booked. Sighing defeatedly, you made your way back to the room, finding Loki already stretched out on top of the bed with a book in his hand. Frankly, you were too flustered to work out sleeping arrangements at the moment; fortunately, your friend had you on a tight schedule.

"The other rooms are all booked. We can figure this out later - I've got to get ready to meet up with the bridal party. There's a sort of 'meet and greet' gathering tonight." You busied yourself sifting through your suitcase in search of a suitable outfit for the evening, mostly so you had an excuse not to look at Loki. A soft thumping sound told you he'd shut his book, and a shifting of the mattress clued you into his movement. Risking a glance, you looked up to find Loki leaning over the edge of the bed, staring down at you inquisitively.

"Should I be planning to join you?"

Taken aback by his question, especially given how he'd asked without a shred of reluctance or irritation in his tone, you paused in your scrounging through your belongings.

"I wasn't planning to force you to come," you responded. "You're already doing enough by coming to the wedding with me, you don't have to feel obligated to attend every one of these pre-wedding events."

"Would your friend Derek have attended?"

"Well... probably, yeah, but-"

"Then it's settled. I will accompany you this evening."

"Are you sure? It's going to be a lot of... well, socializing."

Loki chuckled a little, a smirk pulling at his lips. "While I clearly don't enjoy 'socializing' with my brother and his exceedingly upbeat companions, I am partial to casual parties. I attended quite a number of them on Asgard."

"Oh, really?"

"Why the tone of surprise? I am a prince after all." His smirk grew wider. "I am an exemplary social companion. You should consider yourself lucky."

"Wow. I'm pretty sure I just saw your head grow three sizes larger!" you jested, rolling your eyes with a grin.

After a quick change of clothes, you found yourself on your way to the outdoor hotel bar with Loki at your side. Already, many of the member of the wedding party had arrived and were mingling with drinks in hand. The moment the bride caught sight of you, she hurried over to wrap you in a hug in greeting.

"I'm so happy to see you!!" she exclaimed, releasing you with a huge smile on her face. Her eyes flitted over to Loki for a moment, then widened as she glanced back to you. "And you brought a date!"

"Yes, this is Loki. He's a... friend from work," you explained, cringing inwardly at your awkwardness. Fortunately, Loki took over from there - holding out his hand to accept a handshake from Leah.

"A pleasure to meet you. I've heard quite a bit about you."

"Oh? All good things, I hope!" Leah laughed.

"Oh, most certainly."

"Well, I look forward to hearing more about you - but I have to find my lovely fiancé... I know they're around somewhere." She grinned at you once more before scurrying off into the crowd.

"You liar - I barely talk about my friends outside of the Avengers," you whispered, trying to suppress an amused smile. Loki shrugged.

"I did tell you I've been said to have a silver tongue. That doesn't mean everything I say is true."

"Oh really? Well, how often are you lying to me, then, with that 'silver tongue' of yours?" you asked, half teasing but half genuinely curious.

"Now, what would I have to lie to you about?" He winked, a ghost of a smirk playing at his lips that had your face feeling warm. "Would you care for a drink, darling?"

"Yes, please." You were more than ready to grab something from the bar, hopefully to cool the heat in your cheeks before Loki started to notice.

Loki was, surprisingly, quite the gentleman; he asked you what you planned to have to drink, then ordered it for you along with his own. Not that any Midgardian liquor would even come close to making him feel its effects, but he did enjoy the taste of a decent quality malt.

You couldn't recall the last time you'd spent more than five minutes at a social gathering that wasn't somehow related to a mission. To say you were feeling a bit rusty at the whole 'making conversation with semi-acquaintances, semi-strangers' thing was an understatement. And yet, Loki made it look so easy, so effortless to strike up conversation. Once you'd started to sip your drink and ease yourself into socializing, you began to become a bit more relaxed, feeding off Loki's social energy.

That is, until you were asked 'the question' for the first of many times.

"So... how did you two meet?"

"Huh?"

You'd only been half-paying attention, while the other half of your mind seemed to be fixated on the warm, rumbling sound of Loki laughing after one of the groomsmen finished telling a funny story. The maid of honor - Vicky, who had been Leah's childhood best friend and, consequently, a friend of yours as well - was staring at you expectantly. It took you a moment to register what she was really asking, but when realization struck, you began stammering almost incoherently.

"Oh, er, no, we're not together like that..." You motioned between yourself and Loki for emphasis. "We're... he's just..."

"What she means to say is, we met through work," Loki interjected, his voice much more cool and collected than your own. "She is one of SHIELD's strongest agents. Naturally, she spends quite a bit of time with the Avengers."

"We're friends," you added firmly, finally regaining the ability to string words together in a sentence.

"Aww, really? You two would be great together, you know," Vicky teased with a grin. The few others who had been involved in the conversation murmured in agreement. You struggled to come up with a response as your face caught fire, when Loki interjected to spare you yet again.

"She's very focused on her work," he explained, a hint of pride in the way he stated it. "Perhaps, someday, she will free up some time to find romance." He caught your eye out of the corner of his with his last sentence, shooting you a wink.

"Perhaps," you echoed, a finality to your tone that indicated you were finished with this discussion. Fortunately, Vicky took the hint, moving on to other small talk. But while the conversation progressed, your mind was still stuck on Loki's words. What did he mean by what he said? Was it more smooth talk from the silver-tongued god? Or was there a deeper meaning behind it?

No matter, you thought. Regardless of what he truly meant, you couldn't allow yourself to fall for him. Because that was more terrifying than anything he could have possibly intended with his words.

By the time you'd called it an evening and headed back to the room, you were socially drained and mentally exhausted. So much so, you'd forgotten about your sleeping arrangements predicament until you flipped the light on in the room, eyes landing immediately on the solitary bed. Apparently you groaned out loud, because Loki suddenly brushed past you and grabbed one of the pillows off the bed.

"I'll take the floor," he offered.

"What? No, I can't possibly make you sleep on the floor. You're only here because I asked you to be. I'll take the floor instead."

He shot you a stubborn glance. "I will not subject you to sleeping on the cold floor." Loki tossed the pillow in his hand onto the floor.

"Nope. Not happening." You swiped one of the other pillows off the bed and chucked it at him, striking him in the back of the head. He spun around to face you with a shocked expression on his face, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

"You dare strike the Prince of Asgard with a pillow?" Loki demanded, stooping to pick up the pillow you'd thrown at him and advancing on you. Instinctively, you held your hands out protectively in front of you, taking a step back.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Fighting back." He swung the pillow up over his head in both hands, bringing it down on top of your head. The fabric of the pillowcase dragged a huge section of your hair into your eyes.

"Pffft - Lohoki!"

"I demand you accept my ultimatum and allow me to take the floor," he ordered, beating you repeatedly with the pillow. You began to laugh, covering your head with your forearms and curling in on yourself to hide from his vicious fluffy attack.

"Oh-oof-ohokahay!! Okahay!!" The pillow strikes suddenly stopped, and you straightened your posture and ran your fingers through your tangled hair. Loki had a youthful grin on his face - one that complemented him nicely, you couldn't help but think. "Look - we're... friends, right? If you're alright with it, I wouldn't mind just... sharing. The bed, I mean."

"It's no difference to me, darling. I've shared a bed with many a Midgardian."

Your jaw slackened indignantly at his response. You prepared to scold him, but he began to chuckle, and you just knew he was being facetious. While you appreciated him lightening the mood, you couldn't allow him to get away with putting such an image in your mind.

"You dirty little scoundrel!" you chastised, swiping the other pillow off the bed and returning the favor, beating him over the head with it. "You have not shared a bed with that many!"

"Ahalright!! I - oof - for Odin's sake! I yield!" He caught the pillow on the last swipe, tugging it from your hands. "Norns, you're vicious!"

"Come, now - you can't be naïve enough to think anything less of me by now." You paced across the room and stooped to pick up the other pillow, smirking when Loki flinched as you approached him, then relaxed when you tossed the pillow down on the bed where it belonged. "I'm gonna go change for bed."

You disappeared into the bathroom to put on pajamas, returning to find Loki already lying in bed propped up against the headboard with his lower half under the blankets, his book in his hand once again. He'd changed into sleep clothes as well - a soft-looking cotton long-sleeved shirt on his upper half, and the waistband of what appeared to be a pair of actual Midgardian pajama pants peeking out from beneath the hem of the blanket over his waist. It was different than you were used to seeing him.

It suited him.

Suddenly feeling shy, you averted your gaze and focused your attention on the blankets on your own side of the bed as you turned the sheets down and crawled underneath. You lay flat on your back and settled into the pillow, staring straight up at the ceiling as Loki's book thumped shut beside you.

"You can read if you want to stay up, the light won't bother me," you insisted.

"I'm rather tired." With a wave of his hand, the overhead light flicked off, shrouding the room in darkness. With your sense of sight inhibited, you were acutely aware of the sound of his shifting against the mattress, his breathing in such close proximity to you.

"Well... goodnight," you mumbled.

"Goodnight."

You turned over onto your side facing away from Loki, eyes still wide open despite the fact that you couldn't see two inches in front of your face. Thoughts raced through your mind at light speed. What if I accidentally invade his space while I'm sleeping? What if he hears me snoring? Or worse... what if I say something in my sleep?

Beside you, Loki's breathing gradually slowed and deepened, and you assumed he had fallen asleep. Something about that was comforting to you - knowing that he felt comfortable enough in bed next to you to just drift right off to sleep. You shut your eyes, then, hoping sleep would come to you as well.

* * *

When you woke the next morning, Loki had already risen and vacated the bed. It was both a blessing and a curse - you weren't sure how you'd feel about waking up next to him, but you also couldn't know if you had accidentally rolled into his personal space during the night.

Loki had already prepared two mugs of coffee in the small coffee maker in the room. The smell of it was perhaps what woke you in the first place. You ran your fingers through your hair to smooth it down before shifting to sit up against the headboard, letting Loki know you were awake. He turned from where he stood at the counter where the coffee maker sat, pacing over to you with one of the mugs and placing it on the side table. Notably, he was still in his sleep clothes.

You'd been right - he was wearing Midgardian-style pajama pants. Green plaid, actually. It was oddly adorable.

"Sleep well?" he asked, rounding the bed to sit on the edge on his own side.

"Not bad. You?" You grasped the mug of coffee in both hands and took a sip, breathing in the bitter scent.

"Fine." He suddenly smirked. "How does it feel, knowing you are one of the few Midgardians who can boast about having been in bed with the God of Mischief?"

"Loki!" You swatted his arm. "What happened to having 'shared a bed with many a Midgardian'?"

He scoffed. "That was obviously a joke. I do have standards after all."

"I hope your 'standards' aren't too high," you teased, "I'd imagine there are many Midgardians who would decline your advances."

"What makes you say that?" he asked indignantly.

"Not everyone likes mischief. Especially in a lover."

"I like to think a bit of mischief in a lover keeps the relationship interesting."

"And yet you're still single."

Loki narrowed his eyes at you for a moment, then cocked one eyebrow and smirked. "Perhaps I simply haven't found someone who lives up to my standards."

"Pshh. You keep telling yourself that." You threw your legs over the side of the bed and got up, hoping to escape this conversation before he somehow managed to turn it on you.

The rehearsal dinner was that evening, so you had most of the day to yourself to decompress. You had gotten yourself dressed in casual clothes and were preparing to head out to a late breakfast when there was a knock at your hotel room door. Curiously, you paced over to the door and raised an eye to the peephole.

"Who is it?" Loki asked from his seat on one of the cushioned wicker chairs.

"Leah." You all but groaned out loud. If Leah was at your door, that could only mean one thing-

"It's wedding party bonding time!!" she squealed as you swung the door open.

"Bonding time? I haven't eaten breakfast yet."

"Breakfast? You realize how late it is, right? It's time for brunch!" She reached out and grasped your forearm, tugging for you to come with her. You turned your head and shot Loki an apologetic look.

"What about Loki? He hasn't eaten either."

"Then bring him! The whole wedding party is coming - no discrimination between guys, gals, and nonbinary pals."

"Oh - I'm sure he-"

"I'd be happy to join you," Loki interjected before you could make an excuse on his behalf.

"Perfect!!" She turned and motioned for the two of you to follow her, making long strides as she hurried down the hallway. You fell back to walk beside Loki, giving him a skeptical look.

"You know you don't have to come, right? Why are you so easily convinced to hang out with the wedding party?"

"Obviously you need me - you've no idea how to relax and have a bit of fun," he whispered, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. "And perhaps I'm intrigued by the idea of you owing me a debt. You did say that was contingent on my 'performance as a wedding date', after all."

"First of all - I know how to relax just fine on my own, thank you very much. And what exactly are you hoping to make me do?"

"I'm certain I can think of something."

Leah led you to the outdoor hotel restaurant where most of the wedding party had already sat down at a cluster of tables. The mid-morning sun was shining overhead, unhindered by cloud cover with nothing but clear blue skies for miles. Despite the blazing sun, the air wasn't exceedingly humid - it was a pleasantly dry heat, with an occasional cool ocean breeze providing just enough relief from the warmer temperature. The restaurant itself was set out on a large deck by the beach, with small white wooden café tables and umbrellas propped through the centers for shade. Add to all that the background of beautiful palm trees lining the beach, along with the soft rush of the ocean waves, and it was heaven on earth for someone like Leah who absolutely adored the tropics.

Surprisingly, Loki didn't appear overly uncomfortable in the heat. He'd even worn a short-sleeved shirt - something you didn't think you'd ever seen him wear before. You tried not to be too obvious about admiring his toned forearms as he animatedly made conversation with the two friends seated at your table. Naturally, they asked if the two of you were dating. The spark of amusement in Loki's eye as you stammered in your response to that question was starting to irk you.

As the waiter was clearing the empty plates from your table, Leah swaggered over with a half-empty mimosa in hand and a grin on her face. On her arm was her fiancé Leslie.

You liked Leslie a lot - they evened Leah out so well with their calm, laid-back demeanor. The way they looked at Leah left no doubt in anyone's mind that they loved her fiercely. An unexpected pang of sadness shot through your chest as the thought flitted through your mind that you were missing that intense love in your life. You reminded yourself that you were doing the responsible thing by keeping your heart closed off to any potential relationships.

"Leslie - how have you been?" you asked cordially.

"Pretty good! Just trying to keep this lovely lady in check until the wedding is over," Leslie replied with a cheeky grin.

"One of us has to do all the planning, Leslie!" Leah whined. Leslie laughed, leaning down to give her a kiss. Leah's cheeks were already tinged red from the mimosas, only amplified by her fiancé's public display of affection. She suddenly turned to you with wide-eyed excitement. "Are you ready to go get our nails done?"

Your eyebrows shot halfway up your forehead. "What? Oh, no, that's not really my thing, Leah-"

"You are one of the bridesmaids - you have to participate in all of the bonding activities," she insisted, a whiny twinge to her voice. "How would it look if you were missing from the photos??"

The fiery red eyes of the Bridezilla within were shimmering through Leah's brown ones as she gazed sternly at you.

"Leah, you know I don't paint my nails."

"Then get clear polish! Even a couple of the guys are joining us. You have to come!"

"B-but what about Loki?"

"He can come too!" She turned to him with a broad grin. "Get your nails done, or just hang out and drink champagne with the other guys if you want. Just don't let her skip out on her bridesmaid duties."

"You're using my date against me now?"

"Now hang on - she does have a point, darling. You must fulfill your duties," Loki chimed in, a mischievous gleam in his eye. You opened your mouth to scold him, but Leah interjected.

"See? I knew I liked him!"

Before you could provide your current sentiment on your Asgardian escort, Leah had begun bouncing along to visit another table. You buried your face in your hands, letting out a frustrated sigh. Beside you, Loki chuckled.

"Are you trying to punish me for something?" you grumbled.

"Oh, of course not. I'm having a wonderful time. It's quite entertaining to see you so far out of your element."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You scorn frivolity. Always straight down to business." Loki smirked smugly at you. "Now that you're being ordered to participate in such events, it's become clear to me that you simply don't know how to relax."

"I do too!"

"I'm not convinced."

You scoffed. "Are you saying I have to prove it to you?"

"As I stated - I'm not convinced."

As you opened your mouth to continue to argue, Leah's call cut you off. You stood from the table, giving Loki a hard, resolute look.

"I can let loose and have fun like anyone else. Just watch me."

"Oh, I'll be watching."

The spa was outdoors as well, a separate shaded area with sandalwood patio flooring and soothing fairy lights laced into a wooden pergola overhead. One of the spa technicians whisked your group over to the nail salon area, seating you in one of the salon chairs where another spa technician instantly handed you a glass of champagne. You smiled kindly as you took the glass, your gaze then meeting Loki's where he sat with a few of the other members of the wedding party and their dates on one of the cushy-looking sofas. With a smirk, you downed half your glass, nearly choking on the sudden burst of bubbles in your throat. Loki's eyebrows shot upward, an amused grin spreading across his face that made you scowl.

Determined to prove him wrong, and now with a bit of champagne going straight to your head, you turned to Vicky beside you and began attempting to make casual small talk.

"So... are you sure you and Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome over there aren't dating?" she murmured in your ear. You took another long swig of champagne to hide the sudden color in your cheeks before responding.

"Yep, pretty sure. We're friends."

"Oh come on! I see the way he looks at you!" she whispered excitedly. "What's holding you back?"

"I'm not really in a position to be dating anyone in my line of work," you responded flatly, nodding and smiling politely to the nail tech who had pulled up a stool in front of you and started filling the foot soaking basin with warm water. It felt soothing on your tired feet. "Anyway - enough about Loki. How is Ryan? Was he busy this weekend?"

"Hmph. Let me tell you..."

Vicky went on a tangent about her ex boyfriend cheating on her with his boss, and you simply sat and listened, nodding politely or gasping in horror at all the appropriate times throughout her story. Secretly, you were just glad to have the conversation on another subject that wasn't you and Loki.

She was only interrupted once, when the nail technician showed you both the polish color Leah had selected. It was a sparkly rose gold color - much more gaudy than you'd have considered for yourself. Not that you'd have considered any color at all, honestly - you weren't lying to Leah when you'd told her this wasn't your thing. Accustomed to knives and utility belts, you weren't exactly one to wear dresses and nail polish.

You considered declining and requesting clear as Leah had suggested, but you glanced up and caught Loki observing you with a shadow of a smirk on his lips. The sudden urge to prove you could relax and let loose outweighed your self-consciousness about doing something so far out of your comfort zone.

"Sure. I'll go with it," you told her with a nod. Beside you, Vicky squealed with delight.

"That color is gonna look amazing on you!" she gushed. You couldn't help but smile at that. You weren't used to people complementing your appearance; mostly because you didn't put much effort into it. Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all.

Vicky continued with her story (which had really turned into more of a rant) as the nail technician got started on your pedicure. You’d only had one once before, years ago with another friend of yours, long before the incident with HYDRA. It wasn’t so bad then - you wouldn’t go as far as to say it was relaxing, having a stranger touching your feet, but it was bearable. But this time, the moment she started touching your foot, you nearly jumped out of your chair.

Still trying to politely half-listen to Vicky, you struggled to hold still and keep a straight face as she massaged gritty exfoliating soap into your foot. It had been years since someone had attempted to tickle you, before you'd been christened with your enhanced powers from the mind stone experiments. Apparently, it hadn't just enhanced your strength and your senses. You were never this ticklish before.

You bit your tongue and focused on breathing slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth, gaze flitting intermittently over to where Loki sat chatting with some of the others while snacking on the charcuterie board Vicky had ordered for everyone. He wasn't really paying much attention to you, but you did catch his eye a couple of times. One of those times, unfortunately, the nail technician had started scraping the heel of your foot with the pumice sponge, and you flinched for the briefest moment.

It was enough to pique Loki's curiosity. Suddenly, he was watching you with more intent, a quizzical expression on his face. You returned your focus to your breathing, rolling your eyes up to the sky in an effort to just ignore the unbearably ticklish sensation.

"Are you still listening?"

"Huh?"

You had completely forgotten Vicky was still talking to you. She was staring at you now, her brow furrowed in concern.

"Are you ok? You seem distracted."

"Oh, yeah, I'm fi-HINE!" A giggle slipped out when the technician slid the pumice sponge along the ball of your foot. She glanced up at you apologetically, and Vicky's concerned expression morphed into an amused grin.

"Ticklish?" she asked teasingly, poking you in the ribs.

"AH- hey! Yes, alright?"

"Just squeeze the arm of the chair whenever it gets too bad - it helped me the first couple times until I got used to it."

"Note-HEH-ed." You grasped the arm of the chair as she suggested, reluctantly returning your gaze to where Loki sat with bated breath. He wore a devilish smirk that set your cheeks on fire and sent your heart racing, mouthing the words:

You're in trouble.

Great, you thought. Another reason to be flustered around Loki. This whole 'don't let your feelings get the best of you' oath you'd taken wasn't going so well.

You managed to survive the rest of the pedicure without kicking your poor nail technician on reflex, breathing a sigh of relief when she drained the water in the basin and sent you to one of the manicure tables. While you sat awaiting a technician, Loki took the opportunity to saunter over to you with that same devilish smirk still plastered on his face.

"What was that all about?" he asked facetiously. You scowled, though with less malice than you'd have liked given you were also fighting back a silly flustered grin.

"None of your business," you mumbled dismissively.

"Have you always been so ticklish?" He clicked his tongue, tutting at you tauntingly. "Would be a shame if an enemy discovered that little weakness on the battlefield."

"Weren't you in the middle of a conversation over there?" you demanded, glancing around wildly for a free technician to give you an excuse to cease this discussion.

"Oh, but this is far more entertaining." He prodded your side with one finger, chuckling when you flinched away. "Ticklish here, too? All this time we've known each other and you've kept this secret?"

"Can you blame me?" You breathed a sigh of relief as a nail technician sat down across from you to get started on your manicure, motioning for you to place your hands on the table. "Now, shoo - I'm busy trying to relax."

"Well, I certainly hope for your sake you find this more relaxing." Loki winked cheekily before returning to his former seat. Vicky suddenly swept in and took the seat beside you.

"He was totally flirting with you just now," she whispered in hushed excitement.

"What? No, no he's just constantly searching for new ways to get on my nerves."

"Oh, come on. Ryan used to tickle me constantly before we started dating."

"Your cheating ex? Comforting."

"Not the point. And also, not related."

"He's not even from this planet. Who knows what flirting looks like on Asgard??"

Vicky sighed sadly. "I know how you feel about dating, being a SHIELD agent and all. But as your friend, I see the way you look at him. I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy. But thank you, Vicky." You smiled half-heartedly, reaching over to squeeze her hand.

It wasn't the entire truth, of course. More than ever, you were feeling the dull ache in your chest, the sense of longing to truly love someone. To allow yourself to fall in love with Loki. It was becoming difficult not to allow yourself to slip over the edge from a simple crush to full-fledged feelings. But you had to hold firm in your resolve. This would all go away once you returned home and got back to focusing on your work.

At least, you hoped.

It felt like you had barely any time at all between "wedding party bonding time" and the rehearsal dinner that evening. Fortunately, Leah wasn't asking the wedding party to dress up for this. You were NOT about to put on a dress if it wasn't mandated by the Bridezilla. The wedding would be far more than enough for you with wearing a dress.

Leah and Leslie's wedding ceremony was taking place right on the beach. It was exactly what you'd pictured for her - warm, silky sand along a beautiful backdrop of azure ocean water bubbling up on the shore in gentle, rolling waves. Plus, a beach ceremony meant you didn't have to wear heels. That was a plus.

The Bridezilla had completely taken hold of Leah by the time you and Loki had arrived. Beside her, Leslie had a comforting hand on her shoulder as she argued animatedly with one of the attendants assisting with setup. Only snippets of the conversation were audible - something about the aisle runner being the wrong shade of ivory came rumbling from the depths of the Bridezilla's throat.

"Leslie is a saint for tolerating this chaos..." you muttered to Loki while still out of earshot of the wedding party.

"I'm willing to bet you would be a rather particular bride yourself," he whispered back.

"I would not!" you retorted indignantly.

"Perhaps not about such trivial things as fabric color. But you can't possibly look me in the eye and tell me that you wouldn't have sharp words for anyone who dared to use vanilla frosting on your cake."

You glared at Loki, feeling your cheeks prickle with heat. "So I don't like vanilla frosting. Is that a crime?"

"What about if they put olives in the salad?"

"You've only managed to prove that I'm a food snob."

"Oh? Then perhaps we should move on to discuss the inevitable tantrum you'd throw should the musician play anything from a decade earlier than the 1990s..."

"Shh. They'll hear us." You took advantage of your nearing proximity to the others to cut him off before he could tease you any further. Although, if you were being honest with yourself, it wasn't the teasing that was getting to you - it was the shock of realizing how many seemingly trivial details about you Loki seemed to have memorized. It was simultaneously flattering and terrifying, because it only tugged at your heartstrings knowing how intimately he knew your quirks.

By the time Leah had finally finished her argument over the aisle runner, your stomach was already beginning to growl in protest. If there were any consolation in having to suffer through the actual rehearsal, it was the knowledge that a delicious meal awaited you when you'd finished.

You hoped it was well worth it.

The Bridezilla growled orders at all of you through the entire rehearsal. On your walk down the aisle, your pace was "too fast." You slowed down as she requested, and then suddenly it was "not fast enough." It took everything in your power not to snap, knowing the Bridezilla would soon vacate its host when the wedding was over tomorrow and your friend would be left with the memories of any cold-hearted comments you threw her way.

Three practice runs and an hour later than scheduled, the wedding party was finally ushered to their tables for dinner. It was the same restaurant you'd had brunch at earlier, though with the setting sun and darkening sky, the gleam of the candles on the tables and the blazing glow of the torches lit around the outer edges of the deck changed the ambiance entirely. It only made you curious to know what the actual reception dining area would look like the next evening - this was a rather romantic setting in itself.

"Darling, you're walking too fast," Loki teased as you approached your assigned table. Whipping your head around, you shot him a glare.

"I'm starving. I'll walk as fast as I damn well please," you hissed.

"Oh dear. Do you Midgardians have a name for the monster that comes out when you're hungry?" He stepped out ahead of you and pulled out a chair, motioning for you to take a seat.

"The appropriate term is 'hangry,' and no. Even if there were a name for it, I wouldn't tell you."

"Why ever not?"

"What, you think I'm naïve enough to give you ammunition to tease me?"

"I thought you liked my teasing," he countered, pinching your side as he took his seat. You jumped, holding up a finger in warning.

"You don't want to tickle me when I'm hangry."

Loki smirked. "Is that explicit permission to do it once you've eaten, then?"

"That's not at all what I said," you grumbled, heat rising in your cheeks. Fortunately, before he could respond, the waiter stopped by the table to ask what meals you'd be having that evening. The mischievous glint in his eye told you this conversation was not over, however.

Dinner was, indeed, delicious. Perhaps even more so because you were ravenously hungry by the time it arrived to the table. You didn't even bother taking the time to scold Loki for whatever thoughts might be going through his head as he sat there snickering at you between bites.

"Excuse me, everyone!"

Leslie clinked their spoon against their glass to gain the attention of the group, awaiting the wave of silence before continuing to speak.

"Leah and I just wanted to thank you all for being a part of our wedding. It's been wonderful having so many caring friends and family surrounding us and celebrating our marriage. We couldn't have gotten here without all of you."

"Thank you all so much," Leah added tearfully, a watery smile on her face. "Our wedding day is going to be absolutely perfect, and we have all of you to thank for it."

As the group clapped politely, Leah turned to Leslie and pressed a long, tear-stained kiss to their lips. It warmed your soul to see your friend so happy in love. Still, that nagging, dull ache in your chest was difficult to ignore.

That is, until Leah got into an argument with one of the waiters when dessert was served because the plates weren't the right color. The Bridezilla strikes again.

By the end of the rehearsal dinner, you were frustrated and tired of listening to the Bridezilla's roaring and howling. As soon as was socially acceptable, you stood and bid Leah and Leslie an early goodnight, practically dragging Loki into the hotel to go seek sanctuary in your room.

The moment you arrived back in your hotel room, you stormed straight over to the bed and flopped unceremoniously on top of the mattress on your back, releasing a long pent-up groan of frustration.

"You seem to be quite ill-tempered every time we go to one of these events." Loki stood by the edge of the bed, gazing down at you curiously.

"Leah is my friend. She may be a crazed, stressed-out monster at the moment, but she's my friend. At least, that's what I keep reminding myself." You rubbed your eyes, feeling the weight of the wearisome day pressing on you. "I'm just glad this wedding is almost over."

"You know..." he began, taking a seat on the edge of the bed beside you, "... marriage rituals on Asgard last an entire week."

You cringed, sitting up a bit and propping yourself up on your elbows. "Glad we don't have that on earth..."

"Yes, well, there's quite a bit of mead involved. It's much more enjoyable that way."

"What else is different about Asgardian weddings?"

"Well... for one thing, there's swords involved."

"Naturally."

"There's also a sacrificial goat on the fifth day-"

"A what??" You sat bolt upright with wide eyes. Loki cocked his head at your appalled expression.

"It's a ceremony to promote fertility. The betrothed woman carries a goat up a mountain, where the man then unsheathes his sword and-"

"OH-KAY that's enough," you cut him off, throwing your hands up over your ears. Loki suddenly began laughing.

"Did you honestly believe that was true?? It was a joke, darling! We're not barbarians - we're much more sophisticated than that."

"Loki!! How the hell am I supposed to know what marriage ceremonies look like on Asgard??" He continued to chuckle at your indignance, and so you huffed and shoved his shoulder playfully with both hands. "You're such an ass."

"Did you just push me?" he asked incredulously, turning his body toward you more fully with a dangerously devilish expression on his face. Before you could provide a response, he had grabbed hold of one of your ankles on the bed beside him and began dusting his fingertips along the sole of your foot.

"HEHEY!!" You tugged hard on your leg, kicking wildly at Loki with your free foot. He paused in his attack to swipe your other ankle out of midair, scooping them both into the crook of his elbow and scratching rapidly at both soles with all five fingers on his free hand.

"This is the most delightful little piece of information I've ever learned about you - now I know exactly how to take you down a few pegs when you're getting on my nerves."

"ExcUHUSE MEHE?" You planted your hands beside you on the mattress and pulled desperately to free your ankles from their imprisonment. "Getting ohon YOHOUR nerves?? Mihister God of Mischief??"

"You heard me correctly." He suddenly tugged harshly to pull your legs straight, consequently causing you to be dragged onto your back. His hands latched onto your hips before you had the chance to react to his surprise attack. A shrieky burst of laughter exploded from your chest, which only serve to encourage him to dig his thumbs in harder into the soft spaces next to your hipbones. "Apparently, this is also an excellent method for breaking you out of this sour mood you've been in all day. You're much more pleasant when you're laughing."

"SOHO RUHUDE- NAHAHAH LOKI!!" You squealed in protest when he began to scratch at your belly with all ten fingers, a rather undignified noise coming from a tough Avenger, you thought. Fortunately, you didn't have the wherewithal to dwell on it as his tickling fingers made your mind go fuzzy. Sensing you were tiring, he halted his attack, grinning fondly as you curled up in a ball to protect your vulnerable areas.

"I think that should be sufficient to cure your surly demeanor, don't you?"

"Gohod, Loki... yohou're vicious!" you whined, shifting to sit up against the headboard with your knees curled up against your chest. You couldn't deny the fact that you did actually feel a bit less grumpy. It was hard not to after having laughed so hard.

An added and unintentional effect of Loki's ticklish onslaught was the sudden wave of drowsiness that consumed you the moment the adrenaline had worn off. At least tonight it felt a bit less awkward crawling into bed beside the God of Mischief.

"Thanks again for agreeing to come with me," you murmured in the darkness as the lure of sleep threatened to overtake you.

"You did tell me I owed you." His baritone voice sounded slightly more gravelly than usual, and you suspected he, too, was on the verge of falling asleep. And yet, still, he found a way to tease you.

"I know. But you could have said no still. So... thanks."

"Anytime, love."

The rumbling of his voice echoed in your mind long after he had stopped speaking. It was the lullaby that lulled you to sleep that night.

* * *

You were trying desperately not to grow accustomed to Loki preparing you coffee before you woke in the morning. It would do you no good to allow that to feel like a part of your routine. Especially considering you'd only be waking beside him one more morning.

"What do Asgardian brides do on the morning of their actual wedding day?" you asked between sips of coffee.

"Well... the betrothed couple spend the morning separate from one another - similar to Midgardian custom, as I understand it," Loki explained. "The Asgardian custom is for the betrothed to bathe and cleanse themselves of their past in preparation for their future together."

"That's... oddly beautiful, actually."

Loki's mouth twitched upward slightly. "Historically speaking, the woman would bathe as a symbol of washing away her virginity."

"AND I've heard enough," you dismissed definitively, squeezing your eyes shut to will the heat from your cheeks.

"I simply answered your question," Loki shrugged. "What is the custom here on Midgard, then?"

"The tradition is for the bride and the bridal party to gather to get their hair and makeup done, get dressed, and take photos, while the men often gather and drink. Although, nowadays, people have done many different non-traditional things the morning of their wedding."

"And what will your friend be doing, then?"

"Oh, Leah is a traditionalist in that sense. Which means I'm stuck getting all beautified this morning." You scowled at the thought, drawing a laugh from the Asgardian.

"You make it sound as if she's torturing you."

"It is torture. Have you ever seen me in anything but slacks and a t-shirt?"

"I suppose not."

You drank your coffee as slowly as possible, so by the time you finished the last of it, the liquid was an unpleasant lukewarm temperature. It wasn't that you weren't excited to see Leah on her wedding day - you were just less than thrilled about getting dolled up for the wedding. Not to mention, you wouldn't see Loki until the ceremony. You knew he'd find some way to occupy his time while you were busy with the rest of the bridal party, but you couldn't lie and say you wouldn't be thinking about him until you saw him again.

After showering for the morning, you wrapped yourself in the green robe that Leah had gifted you with your name embroidered on the front. The color almost exactly matched the sage green color of the bridesmaid gowns. Fortunately, you wouldn't have to put that on until later, closer to the time of the ceremony. But the robe was, admittedly, rather comfortable.

Loki looked at you inquisitively as you stepped out of the bathroom with the sage green gown draped over your elbow.

"Is that what you'll be wearing this evening?" he asked, motioning to the garment on your arm.

"Oh, uh... well, yeah. Leah picked it out." You held it by the straps and let the skirt of the dress hang down, providing him a better view of the gown. "I'm not thrilled about how I look in dresses, but I'm doing this for Leah, so..."

"The color suits you."

You stopped talking for a moment, jaw remaining slightly open. "Beg pardon?"

"The color. You look captivating in green."

A fiery heat rose from your neck to your ears. "I, uh... thanks."

You bade Loki goodbye before heading up to Leah's hotel suite, his complement buzzing around in your mind. Had you ever even worn green in front of him until today? Most of your workout clothes were some shade of black or gray. Not to mention, you knew green was his color. All his Asgardian leather had some sort of green hue worked into the fabric somewhere. Part of you felt a semblance of pride, knowing Loki thought his color was fitting on you.

Then the practical part of you recognized you were starting to slip over that edge into true feelings for the Prince of Asgard, and you quickly shook his words from your mind.

Leah was a complete nervous wreck when you arrived in her suite. It was a welcome change from the commanding, angry monster she'd been yesterday at least.

"What's going on?" you asked as you shut the door behind you.

"The hair stylist was supposed to be here ten minutes ago," Vicky explained, clearly trying her hardest to suppress an eye roll. Luckily, Leah didn't seem to notice.

"If she doesn't get here soon, she's going to cut into the time slotted for makeup, and then we'll be late for the ceremony and-"

"Leah." You placed both hands on her shoulders and looked her square in the eye. She paused in her breathless rattling sentence, her lower lip trembling. "It's your wedding day. No matter what happens, the most important thing is that you enjoy yourself. Nobody will notice if it isn't one hundred percent perfect."

She gazed at you silently for a moment, eyes wide. Then, suddenly, she threw her arms around you and squeezed you tight.

"Thank you," she mumbled into your shoulder. "You're right. I'm marrying the love of my life today. Nothing could possibly be better than that."

When she released you and stepped back, she had a watery smile on her face. There wasn't a hint of the Bridezilla remaining in her eyes. Could it have been that simple? Had you found a way to defeat it?

A knock on the door caught Leah's attention, and moments later, the hair stylist was entering with her supplies in hand ready to get started. All was now right in her world.

The morning was a whirlwind of hairstyling, makeup, and photos, laced with some intermittent happy tears from the bride and a single round of champagne to celebrate. You barely recognized yourself in the mirror by the time you were finished getting ready. More surprising, though, was that you didn't hate how you looked as much as you anticipated. It would certainly still take some getting used to.

A small voice in the back of your mind wondered what Loki would think when he saw you.

At long last, it was time for Leah and Leslie's wedding ceremony. Leah looked absolutely radiant in her wedding dress, with her hair in loose curls framing her face. You took your place beside one of the groomsmen, grasping his elbow as he offered it to you politely, and began to walk down the aisle as the music started.

You pasted a smile to your face as you walked at exactly the pace dictated by Leah at the rehearsal the evening before. More than ever, your heart ached with the sadness of knowing you would never allow yourself to walk down the aisle as a bride. You reminded yourself that it would be irresponsible. Reckless. It would put someone you loved in danger of HYDRA's retaliation against you for your escape. It would give you something to lose, something to distract you from your hero work...

And then your eyes met Loki's.

He was seated with a few of the other wedding party members' dates that he'd been schmoozing with these last few days, two seats in from the aisle. You weren't sure you'd ever seen him looking so awestruck. His eyes were wide, brows raised, jaw slack, a dusting of red gracing his cheeks. Those beautiful blue-green irises of his roamed up and down, taking in the entire sight of you. That smile on your face was no longer forced, your own cheeks feeling a bit warmer under the weight of his gaze. You forgot about your heartache - you simply reveled in the feeling of Loki looking at you as though you were the only person in the room.

In that moment, you tipped over the edge. You'd fallen for him. And there was no going back.

Damn.

The moment had passed as quickly as it had begun, and you were taking your place by the altar among the bridesmaids. You took a minute to glance at Leslie standing at the end of the aisle, waiting eagerly for Leah to make her appearance. They wore a white jumpsuit, which suited them incredibly well. More striking was the broad smile on their face, and the shimmer of tears in their eyes as they caught sight of Leah for the very first time when she began her walk down the aisle. They looked so very happy together.

And there was no sign of the dreaded Bridezilla any longer.

The ceremony was beautiful, and you shared a great deal of laughs during the wedding party photos afterward. As much fun as it was, you couldn't wait until your bridesmaidly duties were finished so you could finally see Loki once again.

The moment the wedding party was dismissed, you hurried to join the rest of the guests at cocktail hour in search of your date. You didn't have to look for long. A sudden pinch to your sides from behind alerted you to his presence.

"Ah-ha- Loki!" you whined, your hands grabbing his at your waist out of instinct. Turning your head, you found him leaning over your shoulder from behind to get a better look at your face, an impish grin on his face.

"I couldn't resist," he insisted with a chuckle, turning you around to face him. You got your first good look at his outfit as well. He wore a tailored black suit, paired with a white shirt and simple black tie underneath. His dark locks had been tamed slightly, still hanging loosely around his face. The whole look brought out the vivid blue-green color of his eyes.

"You, er... you clean up nice," you mumbled, overcome by that shy feeling that only he could elicit. Loki's grin widened as he took your hand in his and brought it up to his lips, pressing them gently to the back of your hand. You shivered involuntarily at the gentleness of his touch, face feeling warmer than ever.

"And you look absolutely ravishing," he hummed, lowering your hand and releasing it as his eyes sparked with amusement at your sudden sheepishness. "Would you care for a drink, darling?"

"Uh, yep. Let's do that," you breathed with a nod of your head, earning a warm rumble of a laugh from your companion. He placed a hand on the small of your back, gently guiding you toward the bar to order you something to drink.

The sun was beginning to set overhead, a palette of oranges, pinks, and yellows painting the horizon over the ocean. The guests were buzzing with conversation and laughter, bubbling with 'how are yous' and 'I missed yous' as family and friends reunited to celebrate Leah and Leslie. You felt a pleasant warmth surging through you, though it was hard to say whether it was the joyful energy of the evening or the feeling of Loki's hand resting on your back as he chatted amicably with some of the wedding party that brought it on.

"Have you two finally confessed your feelings??"

Vicky sidled up to the two of you as you were nabbing an hors d'oeuvre off a nearby platter.

"We're friends, Vicky!" you reiterated, popping the snack in your mouth to give yourself an excuse not to have to say any more.

"Sure looks like you're getting a little extra friendly with each other," she teased with a sly grin, motioning to Loki's hand on your back. You nearly choked on your hors d'oeuvre, barely managing to swallow it and opening your mouth to retort, but Loki beat you to the punch.

"I'm simply preparing for the next time she decides to say something cheeky," he explained, his fingers digging into your side for a moment. You spluttered and giggled, leaning into him involuntarily to evade his fingers.

"Ah, I see..." Vicky nodded, her grin widening. "I'll see you two at dinner, then. Don't have too much fun!"

"You sneak!" you hissed, shoving him playfully as you bit back a grin. He shrugged with a laugh.

"I-hi was simply providing you with an excuse - you certainly didn't seem to have one," he teased.

It wasn't long before Leah and Leslie returned from taking photos, and the guests were ushered to the main reception area. The space was absolutely breathtaking. White tableclothed tables and chairs were set out along a large stone-tiled patio space on the beach. Above the dining area were strings of soft warm lights draped over a wooden frame outlining the space. Simple vases of flowers served as the centerpieces atop the tables, nested between sets of small tea-light candles that glowed bright against the darkening sky. You and Loki found your seats at the bridal party table.

Which, notably, did not have an empty seat at it, thanks to your Asgardian prince.

Loki nudged you with his elbow as the waiter swept by and set out plates of salad in front of each guest. You tilted your head quizzically as he gestured to the plate in front of you.

"There's olives in the salad," he informed. You looked down and found that there were, indeed, whole green olives set atop the bed of leafy greens. You groaned out loud.

"Why does anyone want these horrid things in their salad??" you whined. Loki chuckled beside you, earning a glare. "What, you think it's funny?"

"No - I think it's charming, actually, that you get so irritable about such trivial matters." You stuck your tongue out at him, only serving to draw another laugh from the trickster. "Here - allow me."

With a wave of his hand, the olives in your salad disappeared in a flash of green light. Wide-eyed, you glanced around the table to see if anyone noticed, but they were all wrapped up in their own conversations and paying little attention to the little display of magic Loki had just performed.

"Darling - they're well aware I'm not from around here," he teased as he watched you relax knowing no one had witnessed the spell.

"Yeah, well... force of habit." You were referring to your own special abilities, which you kept carefully under wraps from your non-superhero friends. Much unlike the God of Mischief beside you, who chose to flaunt his abilities whenever he saw fit. Still, it was rather sweet of him to think of you when he saw the olives on the salad. You picked up your fork, offering him a half smile. "Thanks."

"Anytime, love. I'll be here when they bring the cake with vanilla frosting."

"Oh, shut it."

Dinner was excellent, as was to be expected coming from Leah and Leslie's wedding. Leah wouldn't have settled for anything less than spectacular. Although, you wondered if she'd even tasted any of her food tonight, watching her bounce from table to table greeting guests with a huge smile on her face and her new spouse on her arm.

Following dinner, the DJ called for Leah and Leslie to have their first dance as a married couple together. You recognized the song they'd selected the moment it began to play - it had been the song playing in the car on their first date. Leah had played it on repeat for a month after that. She'd gotten it stuck in your head every time you'd come to visit.

Leslie took Leah's hand and waist, sweeping her into a graceful slow dance. They gazed lovingly into each other's eyes, and Leah giggled once about something Leslie whispered in her ear. You watched the couple longingly, feeling your heart squeeze painfully inside your chest. It was a beautiful, natural partnership they had, made obvious by the ease at which Leah followed Leslie's every move, never once looking at anyone else around them.

"If this were an Asgardian wedding, they would be holding swords during the first dance."

You turned your attention away from the dance to look at Loki beside you, who was leaning back into his seat after having shifted to whisper in your ear.

"Really? How does that work?"

"It's rather elegant, really. Each holds a sword in their right hand, their left hands free to dance palm to palm as is tradition in Asgard. When they turn the opposite direction, with their right sides facing one another, the swords serve as the connection between them. A way of honoring their ancestors and binding their families."

"Hmm." You tried to envision what such a dance might look like. Though it was difficult to imagine Leah and Leslie participating in a traditional Asgardian wedding dance, you could easily picture Loki dancing elegantly with sword in hand. He fought with a sort of dance quality to his movements, though you'd never seen him actually dance. You were intrigued by the thought, though you weren't keen on dancing yourself.

When you returned your attention to the dance floor, the song was just ending. As happy for them as you were, you were glad not to have witnessed the remainder of the dance. It was only making your heart ache, filling your mind with desires you knew you should never pursue.

The DJ announced the opening of the dance floor, and suddenly you were the only two people seated at your table as the rest of the bridal party leapt to their feet to join the married couple. The music was loud, upbeat, perfect to dance to if you knew how to dance. Unfortunately, you were not one of those people.

"Would you like to join them?" Loki asked. You smiled weakly and shook your head.

"Two left feet," you offered in explanation. Loki's brow furrowed in confusion, and you laughed. "It's an expression. It means I can't dance."

"Oh, that I don't believe. You are more than capable of dancing. I've seen your agility on the field."

"Alright, yes - physically speaking, I can dance. But not well. And certainly not well enough to make a fool of myself in front of all these people."

Loki's eyes narrowed playfully. "Mark my words, darling - I will get you on the dance floor at some point this evening."

You felt your cheeks heat up at the thought.

Glancing around desperately for a distraction, your eyes fell on a middle-aged couple who were standing off away from everyone else. You motioned with a subtle tilt of your head toward the couple, who appeared to be shouting at one another.

"What do you think they're arguing about?" you whispered.

"Perhaps he refused to eat the olives from her salad," Loki responded in a teasing tone. You stuck your tongue out at him once again for poking fun at you.

"I don't know... she looks a little too angry to be shouting over olives." You tried listening for any audible snippets of conversation, but even with your enhanced hearing they were just out of range. "I bet he cheated on her or something. She looks really mad."

The woman threw her hands out to the sides to emphasize whatever point she was trying to make. Then, the man held up a single finger in her face, and she looked positively livid. With a swift retraction of her hand, she swung hard and slapped the man across the face with enough force to make him stumble. You threw a hand over your mouth to hide your shocked expression as she pivoted on her heel and stormed off.

"Alright, I'll give you that one. I don't think she was angry about the olives." Loki's eyes roamed around, landing on a young boy of no older than seven throwing a temper tantrum on the ground in front of his mother. "Ok - what do you think he's upset about?"

"Ooh... that's a tough one, it could literally be anything at that age..."

"Personally - I think he's upset that he can't have dessert yet."

"Really? They haven't even brought out the cake yet." You pondered for another moment as the frustrated mother pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers. "I think... he doesn't like the volume of the music."

At that moment, two waiters appeared carrying the wedding cake between them, setting it down on a decorative table. The boy pointed to the pastry and wailed even louder, tugging angrily at the hem of his mother's dress from his seat on the ground.

"Oh-ho! Who was right this time?" Loki goaded, smirking at you. You shook your head defeatedly.

"Best two out of three, then?" you asked.

The music suddenly shifted to a slower rhythm, and on the dance floor couples were coming together to sway to the music in each other's arms. Loki rose to his feet beside you, holding his hand out with his palm facing upward.

"My lady - might I have this dance?"

You felt a hot blush gracing your cheeks at his formality and his debonair smile, his sparkling blue-green eyes fixed on you. Unable to speak suddenly, you nodded and took his outstretched hand in yours, allowing him to lead you onto the dance floor for the first time that evening.

Loki found an open space for the pair of you, suddenly twirling you around by the hand before sweeping you up into a dance partner's hold. His free hand fell to the small of your back while the other still held loosely to yours. You blushed at the fact that you giggled like a schoolgirl as you placed your free hand on his shoulder.

"I had no idea you knew how to charm a woman in such a way," you teased. His chin tilted upward slightly with pride, a sly grin spreading across his face.

"I've told you already - they don't call me silver-tongued for nothing, darling."

"You barely even said a word."

He ducked his head down lower, his lips hovering just beside your ear. You could feel his breath graze your skin as he spoke.

"I didn't need to. There's more than one way to make a woman go weak in the knees."

No kidding.

You busied yourself glancing around at the other couples around you to avoid catching Loki's eye for a moment, lest your face actually catch fire. A small chuckle resounded from deep within his chest as he squeezed your hand fondly.

"Are you at least enjoying yourself? Now that your friend is no longer breathing fire?" Loki asked. You turned back to catch his gaze.

"Yes. Yes, it's been fun. And I'm... happy for Leah and Leslie."

"You sound uncertain."

"I'm not." You fell silent a moment, letting Loki gently sway you to the music. "I am happy for them. Truly. It's just hard not to think about what could have been, had I not been given these powers."

"How could you? You'd likely not have met me," he countered, flashing you a smirk. You laughed despite yourself.

"Very true. What sort of life would that be?"

"A rather boring one, I should think."

A more comfortable silence fell between the two of you after that. You allowed yourself to simply enjoy the sensation of his firm hand at the small of your back, the coolness of his palm against yours. Loki danced as gracefully as you'd expected, his feet never accidentally landing on yours, his guidance strong but never overbearing. There was a sense of safety in his arms, and yet there were still nervous butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

The song faded, and a more upbeat tune took its place. You turned to head back to the table, but Loki held fast to your hand.

"I did tell you I'd get you out on the dance floor this evening."

"No, Loki, I can't - I don't know how, I have no rhythm, I-"

"Don’t make me try to charm you into it again,” he whispered low in your ear. You made a noise somewhere between a whine and a groan, and Loki laughed heartily. He took your other hand in his, eyes fixed on yours as he began moving to the music. You sighed and followed suit, making your best attempt at dancing. He grinned and nodded approvingly, suddenly lifting your hand over your head and twirling you around.

“Loki! You have to warn me!” you laughed, stumbling forward with the sudden dizziness and pressing your hands to his chest to steady yourself. He captured your hands in his once again and continued to move with the beat.

The shyness was beginning to wear off as you danced with Loki there to guide you. Before this evening, you’d never have pictured him to be one to enjoy simply moving to upbeat music, always having imagined him to prefer the elegance of a slow waltz. But he was good at this. Not to mention, he had a handsome, youthful grin on his face the entire time he was dancing with you.

As the song ended and a new one began, Loki took your hand in his and bowed theatrically, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

“Thank you for the dance, my lady. I daresay you are an excellent dancer.”

“We could stay for one more… if you wanted.”

Loki grinned, straightening up and twirling you before catching you around the waist and dipping you back slightly. “Who am I to say no?”

He had you on the dance floor most of the rest of that evening. By the time the DJ announced it was time to cut the cake, you were pleasantly dizzy and tired. Loki led you back to the table to sit down.

You watched as Leah and Leslie took the cake cutter in their hands together and sliced into the cake, carving out a small piece. Leah carefully fed a piece to Leslie, but Leslie made certain to smear frosting along Leah’s cheek. She laughed, pressing a frosting-laden kiss to their lips. And once again, your heart began to ache, longing for something like they had.

Loki seemed to notice your change in demeanor after that, because he didn’t press the issue when the music came back on and you didn’t rise to your feet to rejoin the dance floor. You sat at the table and ate your pieces of cake, and Loki teased you for scooping off the vanilla frosting with your fork first, but you didn’t laugh as hard as you usually would.

As the evening came to a close, you bade Leah and Leslie goodnight and congratulations before heading back to the hotel room. You were silent as you walked, mind racing with thoughts about the evening. It had been wonderful. More wonderful than you would have ever imagined, and Loki was to thank for it. But that was exactly the problem - you weren’t supposed to let this happen. You weren’t supposed to allow yourself to get swept up in the romance of the evening and fall for him. And now, all you could think about was the image of another wedding - your wedding - with Loki twirling you on the dance floor the way he had tonight. A painful lump formed in your throat, knowing that you could never let that happen.

You took your time undoing the pins in your hair, washing away the makeup on your face and carefully hanging the dress after pulling on a soft set of pajamas. When you exited the bathroom, you found Loki was already lying in bed waiting for you so he could turn out the lights. The lump in your throat refused to go away no matter how hard you swallowed.

As you crawled into bed beside Loki for the final time, your eyes began to sting with the burning threat of tears. Keeping your face turned so he wouldn't see, you lay down on your side facing away and let your eyes slip closed. As he turned out the lights, a single tear spilled over and slid down your face, dampening the hair at your temple. You pulled the blankets up to your nose in hopes it would help to hide your sadness.

By now, you should have known Loki was too perceptive.

"Are you alright?"

His voice was low, gentler than you'd heard him speak before. It was laden with worry, uncertainty. Still, you couldn't help but flinch when he spoke, knowing he'd seen through your façade. His hand rested on your shoulder, and the warmth of his touch was enough to push you over the edge. The tears flowed freely, a quiet sob wracking your body.

Wordlessly, Loki ran a firm hand up and down your arm in an attempt to comfort you. He didn't ask you to explain, he didn't turn on the lights, he didn't try to get you to look at him. He simply let you cry, his hand never once leaving your arm - a silent reminder that he was there.

As the tears finally began to subside, you wiped your eyes with the back of your hand and finally turned over to face Loki. You weren't certain how well he could see in the darkness, but you still felt sheepish enough to pull the blanket back up over your nose to hide the redness of your face.

"Would you like to talk about it?" he asked finally.

"I'm just being silly. It will pass," you replied with a dismissive chuckle. His hand found your arm once again and squeezed.

"If it's enough to cause you to hurt this way, it can't possibly be 'silly'."

"Oh, but it is silly. Because I've done this to myself." You let out a watery laugh. "The only reason that I can't have what Leah has is because I'm too scared to allow myself to have it. Me - a SHIELD agent, an Avenger with super strength and enhanced senses, too scared to fall in love."

"Why?"

The question was both simple and complicated all at once. One word, and yet you couldn't formulate a coherent response that would answer the question.

"I... I don't know anymore." You laughed again. "I'm not making any sense."

"I understand."

"You do?"

"You fear the risk of hurting someone who loves you. Physically, emotionally... it doesn't matter. It terrifies you, doesn't it?"

You were silent for a moment, listening to the quiet rush of air with every breath he took. "Yes," you whispered finally.

"Then we are more similar than you realize."

Both of you fell silent then. Loki's presence was both calming and distressing all at once. More than anything, you wanted him to wrap you up in his arms and hold you close, but the thought of that was more terrifying than anything else.

"Are you feeling alright now?" he asked.

"Better, yes." You sighed, releasing the air pent up in your chest. "Can we talk about something else? I need a distraction."

"What do you propose?"

"Anything."

"Alright... how about we discuss how you will repay the debt you now owe me?" You couldn't see his face in the darkness, but you could hear the smirk in his voice.

"What?? Who said I owe you a debt?" you demanded, propping yourself up on your elbow.

"I beg your pardon - I have been an exemplary wedding date, I should think."

"I'm pretty sure that's for me to decide." A smile was tugging at your lips now. He always could make you smile, even when you didn't want to. And gods, you needed it right now.

"Alright then - pray tell, what have I done that would cause you to decide that I've been anything less than the perfect escort?"

"Well... you..." What had he done that you could use as an excuse? "Oh, how about when you teased me for being ticklish??"

"Ah, that's right..."

His tone was mischievous, and you knew what was coming before he'd even grabbed hold of your sides and started tickling you without mercy. With a shriek of protest, you burst into desperate laughter.

"NOHOW I DEHEFINITELY dohon't owe yoHOU!"

"Is that right? Better make it worth my while, then."

"Noho, wait, WAHAIT!!" You squirmed helplessly and grabbed at his hands while his torturous fingers skittered across your belly, up your sides, dancing along your ribs and back down to dig into your hips. The inability to see him made it all the more unbearable, never knowing where he planned to attack next. You could picture the devilish smirk on his face, and it made your cheeks burn.

"Changed your mind yet, darling?" he queried teasingly, slowing to scratch gently at your sides to keep you giggling. You hooked your fingers around his hands and pulled them away from your sides.

"Nohot a chance," you responded resolutely. He chucked low in his throat, his fingers closing around your own where they rested against his palms.

"Do you think this is enough to stop me?" He lifted your hands in his for emphasis.

"Seems to have worked." You knew you were egging him on now, but you didn't care. This was serving as a wonderful distraction, and your spirits were definitely higher now that he had you laughing.

"Oh, I'll show you how well it worked."

Suddenly, you felt him shift to plant his weight on your legs, his hands sliding down to close around your wrists. You squeaked in surprise at the sudden increase in the strength of his hold on you, tugging at your imprisoned arms and babbling giggly protests as he made quick work of pinning your wrists over your head. He shifted his grip to pin them down with one of his larger hands, his free hand now hovering somewhere over your torso in the darkness.

"WAHAIT! I cahan't see you, this isn't fahahair!!"

"Tsk, does that make it worse?" His fingertips dusted briefly over your belly just below your navel, and you jolted and yelped at the unexpected ticklish touch.

"Ye-HA! Yes, it's wohorse!"

"How fortunate for me, then." His fingers ghosted along your side this time, causing you to twist reflexively toward his hand to block it. Suddenly he was pinching at your ribs on the other side, eliciting a screech. As quickly as it began, his fingers left your ribs, only to claw at the soft skin under the opposite arm.

"AHAHAH LOHOKI I CAHAN'T TAKE IT!!" You arched your back hopelessly, giggly laughter bubbling from your lips as he tickled his way down the entire length of your side to your hip and back up again, stopping just before he reached your underarm to jump to your belly and keep you guessing.

"You are so charmingly ticklish, it's rather adorable." Loki released your arms in favor of freeing up his other hand to claw under your arm before you could block his access by slamming your arms down to your sides.

"SHUHUT UP!"

"Rude. It was intended to be a complement, and this is the thanks I get?" His fingers hooked around the backs of your ribs, and you howled with desperate laughter. "Oh-ho, I've got you now."

"PL-AHAH-PLEHEASE!" you pleaded, unable to say anything more as he increased the speed and pressure of his fingers and your laughter became breathless.

"Do you yield? Are you prepared to admit you owe me a debt?"

"Y-eheh-YEHES!" you wheezed, finally breathing a sigh of relief as he relented in his attack. You felt as though you were in a state of drunken euphoria after having laughed so hard for so long. "Wh-ahah-what are yohou so desperate to mahake me do that you want me to owe you so badly?"

"Go out to dinner with me."

The room fell silent after the words spilled out of his mouth. You were acutely aware that he'd made no effort to shift off of you, his hands planted on either side of you to hold his weight above you.

"I'm not saying you have to, of course..." Loki suddenly sounded sheepish, almost as you did when you'd asked him to come with you to this wedding. "I fully understand your stance on... romantic relationships... but I thought, perhaps-"

You didn't know what possessed you to do it. Perhaps you'd had just enough alcohol that evening to feel disinhibited enough, or perhaps the sense of loneliness had finally overcome you. Perhaps you simply couldn't hold back your feelings for the god any longer, now that he'd admitted his own feelings for you.

Whatever the inciting factor was, you found yourself wrapping a hand around the back of his neck, gaining the leverage you needed to surge forward and capture his lips with yours.

A noise of surprise came from Loki's throat before he melted into your kiss, allowing his weight to gently drop down on top of you so he could slide his arms around your back. Without breaking the kiss, he suddenly rolled onto his back with his arms wrapped tightly around you, pulling you to lie on top of him instead. It was your turn to squeak in surprise at the sudden motion, regaining your composure quickly and smiling against his lips. He turned his head slightly to break apart from you for a moment, his chest heaving from his heavy breaths.

"You know... it's rude to interrupt-"

You growled and cut him off once again with your mouth, kissing him harder and more fervently than before. The taste of his kiss was addicting, the feeling of his fingers lacing through the hair at the nape of your neck sending shivers down your spine. His other hand slipped beneath the hem of your sleep shirt to rest against the bare skin of your back, his skin surprisingly cool against yours.

When you'd finally become too breathless to continue kissing him without breaking for air, you gently pulled away, grinning as he lifted his head to press one last kiss to your lips. You sighed, laying with your face buried in his neck and pressing tiny, reverent kisses to the soft skin. Loki hummed contentedly, pressing his palm flatter against your back to squeeze you impossibly closer to his chest.

"What are you thinking, love?" he asked fondly, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face.

"Mm... I'm thinking I'm kind of sleepy."

"Then rest." He turned to roll you off of him, gently pushing on your waist to get you to turn your back to him. His strong arm wrapped around your middle and tugged you close, your back flush against his chest. You could feel the soft puff of air from his nose rustling your hair with every breath. Eyes sliding closed, you felt your consciousness slipping as you slowly drifted off to sleep in Loki's arms.

* * *

What have I done?

Those were the first words to run through your mind when you awoke the following morning, Loki's arm still wrapped tightly around your waist. You remembered everything from the evening before, of course. You hadn’t been drunk. It was intentional, kissing Loki. In the moment, it felt absolutely perfect. But now, as the morning sun rose in the sky and the romance of this whole trip was coming to a close, all you could think about was what this meant for the two of you going forward.

There was no doubt in your mind that you loved him, which made it all the more terrifying. You'd allowed your feelings to get the best of you, to break the promise you'd made to yourself when you'd first joined the Avengers. There was no going back to the way things were after last night.

The thought of an actual relationship with Loki was overwhelming. In some ways, it was exactly what you wanted, and yet that nagging thought in the back of your mind told you it was dangerous. Someone, some way, was going to get hurt. It was inevitable for someone like you, someone in your line of work, someone with your history, your powers. If you truly cared about Loki, you wouldn’t subject him to the inevitable heartache that would come with being your partner. Better to end it now before either of you became too emotionally invested.

Gently, you grasped Loki’s wrist and moved his arm off of you so you could slip out of bed, hoping not to wake him. Unfortunately, he was already awake.

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” he asked, voice still gravelly with the remnants of sleep, yet still with a teasing air to his tone.

“Have to pee,” you lied, ducking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind you before he could ask more questions.

You still didn't know what to say to Loki when you came back into the main room, so you did what you knew best and avoided his gaze, making a show of digging through your suitcase for an outfit for the day. Loki said nothing while you pulled out a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, rising to your feet with your back facing him and making your way back toward the bathroom.

"You're having second thoughts."

You stopped dead in your tracks, letting out a slow breath through your nose. Slowly, you turned around to face Loki, who had gotten out of bed to stand at his full height. There was a cloud of worry shadowing his face, the same face that last night had worn nothing but a grin and a spark in his eyes. That spark faded quickly as his face fell, realizing his speculations were true when he saw the tears brimming in your eyes.

"I... I never should have let this happen," you whispered, turning your gaze to the floor so you couldn't see the agony in his eyes. "I was irresponsible, I knew what the consequences would be, I-"

"Stop. Stop saying that as though you aren't deserving of love." Loki took a slow step forward, gradually closing the distance between you. "Why can't you simply accept that you can be a hero and have someone in your life who loves you?"

"Because I'm a coward, Loki!" Hot tears spilled over your eyes and streamed down your cheeks, but you held a hand up to stop him from coming closer to comfort you. "Don't you see? I can't possibly love you if it means I'll live in constant fear of losing you!"

"Why do you worry so much that you'll lose me?? Do you think me weak enough to succumb to your strength if you lose control?? Are you honestly worried that you'd hurt me??"

"Maybe?! How could we possibly know?? You've never been subjected to my powers, and I don't intend to test it out!"

Loki chuckled humorlessly. "Foolish girl. You're just looking for any excuse to reject me. Don't try to soften the blow, for Odin's sake - just swing the axe and get on with it!"

"That's not true! Loki, you know that's not true. I would love nothing more than to be with you-"

"Then why are you doing this to yourself?? To me??"

You shook your head, trying to find a way to explain. How could you, when you could barely understand it yourself?

Loki sighed, hanging his head defeatedly and averting his gaze from you. "I'll never understand. But I'm not going to force you to love me when you clearly don't."

"Loki, I-"

"Please. Spare me the hollow apologies and the meaningless consolation. Let's just go home."

Without another word, he turned and strode to the door, swinging it open and slamming it shut behind him. The room fell silent. You were alone.

You'd always be alone.

* * *

The two of you barely spoke during the entire trip home. Loki found somewhere else to sit on the plane so you wouldn't have to go through the discomfort of having to sit by his side and stew over everything that had happened. You found you missed his presence anyway. All you could think about was the story he'd told you on the ride there, about being the D.B. Cooper, and it made you want to laugh and cry all at once.

When you returned to the tower, Loki disappeared into his room without so much as a goodbye. Wanda was waiting for you in the common room. The minute you stepped inside, she sensed something was wrong. You sobbed into her arms for the rest of the evening, recounting everything that had happened in the last four days. She provided you the comfort that only a best friend could, sparing you the usual lecture about sabotaging your own happiness in favor of telling you it would be alright.

You didn't see Loki for days. It wasn't exactly difficult for him to avoid you with the sheer size of the Avengers tower, but you were fairly certain he had stayed in his room for the most part. It took everything you had not to go knocking on his door to apologize, to remind him it was all your fault, that he'd done nothing wrong. What good would it do but to cause the hurt to resurface? He needed time to heal, and you would be of no help with that.

The sadness in you gradually morphed into anger. Anger at yourself for being this way. For letting the fear of the unknown get in the way of your own happiness. Most of all, for hurting the one you loved. So you did what you always did when you started to feel angry - you made your way to the fitness room to fight away your emotions before they got the best of you.

Late in the evening, the fitness room was almost always empty, which made it the perfect time for you to let off some steam without disturbing anyone. You threw on a set of workout clothes, slid your feet into your sneakers and made your way up to the fitness room floor. You didn't bother stretching for very long before jumping right into throwing punches at the heavy bag. The anger was swelling up inside you - you had to release it in the form of physical energy before it overcame your ability to control it.

Thwap

How could you do this to him?

Thwap

Why don't you just let yourself be happy for a change?

Thwap-thwap

You're a coward! You're a monster!

You threw your hands to the sides of your head, pressing them against your temples as the thoughts consumed you. With a growl, you began throwing rapid-fire punch after punch at the bag, each blow harder than the last, watching with satisfaction as the bag began to sway from the force of your fists.

Thwap-thwap-thwap-thwap

COWARD! MONSTER! You're a DANGER to EVERYONE around you!

You sank to your knees, feeling more than hearing a yell tearing from your chest. The pressure in your head made it feel as though it might explode. You cradled it in your hands, trying to hold it together. A blinding light filled your vision, blurring out the room around you. The energy radiated off you in pulsing waves. You heard a mirror on the wall shatter, the pieces clattering across the floor. The chain holding the heavy bag creaked as it rocked with every wave of energy emanating from your body.

The next moments - hours, maybe? You couldn't know - were fuzzy in your mind. You remember the screams that ripped from your throat, the throbbing pain with every thrum of your heartbeat. You remember seeing a shadow in the blinding light around you, a figure coming closer to where you knelt. You remember the feeling of someone's hand in yours, squeezing tight despite your rageful protests. You remember a strong set of arms wrapping around you, a firm hand pressing against the back of your head and guiding your forehead to rest against something soft, something warm.

The pain subsided. The light faded back to the brightness of the fluorescent lights hanging overhead. The screaming ceased, replaced by ragged, quiet breaths as you slowly regained awareness of the room around you. You didn't dare move, for fear that it would all start over again if this figure decided to release you.

You knew who it was before you opened your eyes. The familiar scent of pine and leather filled your nose, calming you with every breath. His fingers ran gently through your hair in an effort to comfort, to soothe. The strong sound of his heart beating rhythmically in his chest grounded you, gave you something to focus on until your breathing slowed and deepened to a normal pace. Only then did you dare to open your eyes and lift your head to look at him.

"How?" you breathed.

"I'm going to need a bit more than that, love," Loki hummed in his familiar, gentle teasing tone. You let out a puff of air through your nose, the best laugh you could muster at the moment.

"How... how did you make it stop? Did you use magic?"

"I didn't."

"Then how?"

"I heard you screaming. I couldn't let you suffer alone." He lifted a hand to gently brush a strand of hair away from your face, tucking it behind your ear. "I wasn't sure what to do, so I just... held you."

"That's... that's it?"

You were in awe that he hadn't used an ounce of magic. How had he not been injured by the energy bursting from inside you? You glanced over to the shattered mirror, where sharp, jagged pieces littered the floor. You'd broken it so easily, and yet here Loki sat before you, completely unharmed.

"You don't have to bear this burden alone. As someone who has done so with my own burdens for far too many years... just allow me to help you carry yours. Please."

A tear dampened your cheek, one you hadn't even realized had been forming. As quickly as it came, Loki brushed it away gently with his thumb. You gazed at him, feeling that same fear welling up inside you that had surfaced so many times before, when you thought you might give in to your feelings for him.

"I don't trust myself," you whispered.

"I don't trust myself either. But perhaps we can trust each other."

You turned his words over in your mind for a moment as he held your gaze, those blue-green eyes of his pleading for you to let him in. Finally, you nodded, a soft smile gracing your lips.

"I'd like that."

A relieved smile overtook his features as he lifted his hand to cup your cheek, steadying himself as he leaned in to slant his lips across yours. You kissed him back, drinking him in as though you needed his kiss to survive.

There, in the comfort and safety of his arms, you finally allowed yourself to accept the one thing you never thought you could.

You loved him. And it felt right.

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