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*the fattest fucking sigh from the depths of my soul*

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call me by your name and I call you by mine

TROYE SIVAN 2024 | via his Instagram story (August 18)

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TROYE SIVAN 2024 | via TikTok (September 11)

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TROYE SIVAN 2024 | via Instagram (December 6)

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mood

Timothée Chalamet as Elio Perlman in Call Me By Your Name (2017) dir. Luca Guadagnino

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Elio Castillo  A charismatic, fiercely competitive tennis player who grew up in the Bronx. His upbringing in the streets fostered a love for dance, which he practiced in secret while training rigorously for tennis under his strict coach and uncle. Eli is constantly torn between the disciplined world of professional tennis and the freedom he finds in dancing.

– challengers meets step up // roleplay

Elio Castillo was born and raised in the heart of the Bronx, where the rhythm of the streets was as much a part of him as the blood in his veins. His neighborhood was a collage of vibrant murals, corner bodegas, and the endless hum of life that never seemed to sleep. It was here, amidst the concrete jungle, that Eli first learned to dance. He was just a kid, no more than seven or eight, watching the older boys spin on cracked sidewalks and pop to the beats of old boomboxes. There was a freedom in their movements that captivated him, an unspoken language that spoke of resilience, defiance, and joy.

His parents were hardworking immigrants who had come to New York with little more than hope in their pockets. Eli’s mother, Elena, had been a tennis player back in Scotland—a local champion whose dreams of going pro had been cut short by circumstance. She saw in Eli a spark, a natural athleticism, and she put a racket in his hand before he even knew how to properly grip it.

Eli took to tennis as if he were born for it. His mother would take him to the rundown courts in the neighborhood, where the net sagged and the lines were faded, and they would play for hours. She taught him everything she knew, and he soaked it up, every forehand, every serve, every slice. But more than the technique, she taught him to love the game. Tennis was their escape, a world away from the noise and chaos of the streets.

Then, everything changed. Eli was twelve when his parents died in a car accident, a tragedy that shattered his world. The boy who had once danced on sidewalks and chased balls across cracked courts suddenly found himself lost and alone. His uncle Paul, a stern and disciplined man, took him in. Paul had once, like his sister, been a promising tennis player himself, but his career had never taken off. He saw in Eli a chance to fulfill the dreams he had left behind and became both a guardian and a coach, pushing Eli hard, demanding excellence.

Under Pauls watchful eye, Eli’s talent flourished. He trained relentlessly, honing his skills with a determination that bordered on obsession. The tennis court became his sanctuary, the place where he could silence the grief that lingered in his heart. But even as he rose through the junior ranks, earning scholarships and accolades, a part of him felt incomplete.

Eli couldn’t shake the pull of the dance battles he used to watch as a kid. Whenever he could, he would sneak away to the underground clubs and street corners where dancers gathered. There, he found the release he couldn’t find on the court. Dance was his secret, his rebellion against the strict, controlled life his uncle had laid out for him. It was raw, unpredictable, and unapologetically his own.

As he grew older, the tension between his two passions became harder to ignore. The world of tennis was demanding and unforgiving, filled with long hours of practice, endless drills, and the constant pressure to win. Paul saw dance as a distraction, something that would only lead Eli astray. But Eli couldn’t let it go. Dance was where he felt most alive, where he could forget about his grief and just be. It was his way of expressing everything he couldn’t put into words—the pain of losing his parents, the pressure of his uncle’s expectations, the fear of not being enough.

By the time Eli was in his early twenties, he was a rising star in the tennis world, with sponsors and scouts eyeing his every move. But the more successful he became, the more trapped he felt. He would go from grueling practice sessions and high-stakes matches to dancing in secret, pouring his soul into every step and spin. It was like living two lives, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep it up.

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im so worried about tall boys….be safe…be careful up there… maybe u should come down here and kiss me

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“Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow.”

— William Shakespeare

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healthy possessiveness is so fucking hot i-

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“He is half of my soul, as the poets say.”

— Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

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I look like I taste good and it’s true

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i’m so private to the point if you know any of my business, i know who told you

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„I like your eyes“ ok so.. make them roll to the back of my head 🙄

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