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AUTUMN SONATA (sentence)

Autumn Sonata

a screenplay by Ingmar Bergman

translated to the sentence by Thomas Jester

PROLOGUE

VIKTOR: Sometimes I stand and look at my wife, without she knows about my presence. She loves to sit over there at the corner window, right now I think she's writing a letter to her mother. The first time she came into this room, she said, "That's good, here I want to be." We had only known each other any days, it was a bishops conference in Trondheim cum she was there as deputy for some church newspaper. We met at a lunch cum I told of the parsonage here out. She was so interested, I've dared propose that we should travel here one morning, as the conference was out. On the way, I asked her if she wanted to marry me. She didn't answer, but as we walked into this room, she turned to me and said: That's fine, here I want to be. Later then we have been living a happy and quiet life here in the rectory. Of course, Eva has told me about her past life. After graduating from college, she studied at the university, became engaged to a doctor and lived with him for several years, wrote two small books, became ill with tuberculosis, broke her engagement, and moved from Oslo to a small town in southern Norway, where she started working as a journalist.[sic] (looking in a small book) One here is the first of her books, I like it so much. There she wrote: "You have to learn to live, I exercise every day. The hardest thing the obstacle is that I do not know who I am, I blindly hit. If anyone loves me as I am, dare I might finally consider myself." (ends read) I would some only time want talk of for her that she is beloved without reservation, but I can none say it in one such way that she believes me, I lack the correct words.

EVA: I have written a letter to my mother! Can I read it to you, or do I bother?

VIKTOR: No, no, come in and sit down. We light the lamp. Now, notice that indeed that it has become a fall in earnest. Wait, I'll just turn the radio off, it's an afternoon concert.

EVA: If you want to hear the concert, I can come back later.

VIKTOR: I very much want to read the letter.

EVA: (reads) I was in town yesterday and met by chance Agnes, who was occasionally visiting her parents with her husband and children. She told me Leonardo had died. Dear little Mom! I understand how terrible this must be for you. Agnes also told us that you were in Ascona on temporary holidays between two concert tours. I called Paul and found out the address. (pause) Now I wonder if you would care to come to us in Bindal for a few days or weeks, just as you want or can. For you should not be too alarmed and immediately say no, I have to mention that the parsonage is very spacious. You have your private rooms, completely secluded cum all comforts. Here is already autumn, we have had some frost nights, the birches are yellow and reddish, we pick the last cloudberries on the marsh. But storms delayed and yet remains many done mild days. We have a fine grand cum you can practice so very you have lust.[sic] Would why not stay in a hotel for a few weeks? Dearest Mother, say you will! We will take care of you and pamper you in every conceivable way. There was so terribly long time since we met. In October, the seven years! Dearest greetings from Viktor and your daughter Eva. [sic]

(Charlotte arrives earlier than calculated.[sic] The clock is eleven in the morning when she queues up before the rectory's yellow range. Eva located to just in steps between floors. By screen sees her, self unseen, how the mother slowly rises from the car, how she indecisively stays of the trunk. One moment of immobility.)

EVA: (on farm) Dearest small mamma, welcome.[sic] So fun that you are here, I think almost not that this is true. Now stop you long, or how? Divinity such a hard case. Have you all your notes with you? How I'm pleased myself, now provides you me some lessons, that make you well! Mamma small, how you look tired outward. But it is clear, the drive where the long understood. Viktor is not home for some moment, we thought not you would come so early.

CHARLOTTE: I sat at Leonardo that last day. He had severe pain, despite that he had got syringes every other hour. Sometimes cried he, but he was not timorous for death, only cried, for that it did hurt. The day went cum that was evening. Without some hospitals kept them on with construction, they drilled and hammered and slammed, the sun fried, there were no blinds or awnings. Poor Leonardo, he was so embarrassed that he smelled bad. We tried getting one other place only several departments were closed for repairs. Night fell silent alarm from the building site and when the sun went down, I could open the window. The heat was like a wall outside, very calm. The professor came, he is an old friend of Leonardo. He sat on the chair at the head of the bed and said that now it was not long, he would get a shot every half-hour so that he could sleep without pain. The professor patted Leonardo on the cheek and said, that he would go to a Brahms concert in the evening, but that he would look in after the concert. Leonardo inquired what they would play cum then the Professor spoke about how they would play the double concerto with Schneiderhan cum Starker asked Leonardo, that he would greet Janos that he wanted yield him his Coltermann-cello, that he long had thought of them. So went the professor cum a departmental nurse came in and gave Leonardo a shot. She thought I should eat something only I was not peckish, I felt just ill of the smell. Leonardo fell asleep for a few minutes. When he woke up, he asked me to leave the room. At the same time, he called on the night nurse. She immediately came with a syringe. After a few moments, she reached out to me in the corridor and talked about Leonardo being dead. I sat with him all night. (pause) I thought that he had been my friend for 18 years, that we had lived together for 13 years, that we never told each other 1 evil or awesome word. In two years, he knew he was dying, that there was no hope.

As often as I could, I traveled and greeted him in his villa outside Naples. He was kind and caring and was pleased with my successes. We talked and had fun and played some chamber music, he hardly talked about his illness at all cum I didn't want to ask, he hadn't liked that. One day he looked at me for a long time, then he laughed and said, "Next year at this time I am away, but I'll always be with you anyway, I'll always think of you." It was the sweet told from Leonardo only it was a bit theatrical. (pause) I can't say that I'm walking around grieving. His death was both expected and overdue. One is clear that it feels empty any once in a while. But you must not dig down. (laughing) Do you think I have changed a lot in these seven years, we have not seen each other. Yes, I dye my hair understood Leonardo didn't want to see me gray-haired, though else I'm me like, don't you think? I bought this pantsuit in Zurich, I wanted something comfortable for me for the long car journey, I saw it in a window on Bahnhofstrasse, I went in and tried and it sat perfectly and it was amazingly cheap. Don't you think it's pretty good looking?

EVA: Well, dearest mother, it is very good looking.

CHARLOTTE: Now must I pack up, wants you forward me with the here bag, it is filthy, cumbrous cum I have such damn pain in the back after the trip. Do you think you could find a wooden board to put under the mattress, I have to lie hard, as you know.

EVA: There is already a wooden board under the mattress. We put it there yesterday.

CHARLOTTE: Wonderful. (hesitates) What is it, little Eva? Are you crying. Well, wait, now I'll see. Are you sad? My little kid, are you sad. Did I say something stupid, you know how I talk!

EVA: I'm just crying because I'm so happy to see you.

CHARLOTTE: Now we hug each other really hard, just like when you were little. I'm just talking about myself all the time{,}[;] now you have to tell me, dearest Eva. Get a look at you. Haven't you been very lean in the last few years, now I see, you're not happy either, but then you have to tell me why you're sad, come on, let's sit down here, do you mind if I take a cigarette? How are you really, little Eva?

EVA: I'm doing fine. Very good.

CHARLOTTE: Do you not live very isolated?

EVA: We have the parish work both Viktor and I.

CHARLOTTE: Yes, of course.

EVA: I often play in church. Last month I had a whole music night. I played and talked about what I was playing. It was very successful.

CHARLOTTE: You must not forget to play a little for me. About you feel like it, of course.

EVA: I would love to.

CHARLOTTE: I had five school concerts in Los Angeles in their Music Hall. Three thousand children each time. I played cum told. You have no idea what a success. But terrible grueling.

EVA: Mom, that's one thing I have to tell you.

CHARLOTTE: Yes.

EVA: Helena is here. (pause)

CHARLOTTE: (evil) You should have written to me that she was here. That is not right for you to face me fait accompli.

EVA: If I had told you she lived here, you would not have come.

CHARLOTTE: I'm sure I would have come anyway.

EVA: I'm sure you did not come.

CHARLOTTE: Is Leonardo's death not enough? Was it necessary to drag poor Lena here too?

EVA: Lena has lived here for two years. I wrote to you that Viktor and I decided to ask Lena if she wanted to live here with us. I wrote to you.

CHARLOTTE: I have never received that letter.

EVA: Or you did not bother to read it.

CHARLOTTE: (suddenly calm) Not a pretty unfair accusation.

EVA: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: I can not stand to see her. At least not today.

EVA: Little mom! Lena is a wonderful person, she's just so hard to tell, but I have learned to understand what she says. I can help translate. She longs so terribly to meet you.

CHARLOTTE: My God, she was doing so well in that chronic home.

EVA: But I longed for her.

CHARLOTTE: Are you sure she's feeling better here with you?

EVA: Yes, she has. And I have someone to take care of.

CHARLOTTE: Has she gotten worse? I mean does she have…? Is she …? I mean worse?

EVA: That is clear that she has gotten worse. It is connected with the disease.

CHARLOTTE: Come on, let's go and visit her.

EVA: Are you sure you want to?

CHARLOTTE: (smiles) I find it terribly uncomfortable though I have no choice.

EVA: Mamma!

CHARLOTTE: I've always had a hard time with people who are unaware of their motives.

EVA: Do you mean me?

CHARLOTTE: You can take it as you like. Let's go.

CHARLOTTE: Lena little. Now you should get a hug and a kiss. I take your arms like this and put them around my shoulders. I have thought of you often, every day.

Helena says something.

EVA: Helena says that she has a sore throat and that she does not want to infect you.

CHARLOTTE: (kissing her again) Oh, I've never been afraid of germs. It's been twenty years since I had a cold. What a nice room you have. And what a view. It's the same view I have from my room.

Helena says something.

EVA: Lena says I should take off her glasses so you can see her properly.

CHARLOTTE: I see you anyway.

Helena says something.

EVA: She wants you to take her about the head with the hands cum then you should look at her.

CHARLOTTE: Is that good?

HELENA: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: I'm so glad Eva's taking care of you. I did not know anything, I thought you were still in that home.[sic] I was actually going to visit you before I left. But so here it is much better, not true.

HELENA: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: Now we can be together every day.

HELENA: (happy) Yes.

CHARLOTTE: Are you in pain?

HELENA: No.

CHARLOTTE: How nice you are in your hair.

Helena says something.

EVA: It's in your honor, Mom.

CHARLOTTE: I read you just now one mighty good book on French the revolution. If thou wants mayst me read aloud for you. We can sit together on the porch and read I for you. Would you like that?

HELENA: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: And then we can take a ride in the car. I've never been to these areas.

HELENA: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: I've thought so much of you.

Helena says something and laughs.

CHARLOTTE: What does she say?

EVA: Lena says that you must be mighty tired, and how you none need strain you more today. She thinks you've been good.

CHARLOTTE: Does Lena have no watch?

EVA: Of course! She has a clock by the bed!

CHARLOTTE: Here, Lena, you'll get my wristwatch. I got it from an admirer who thought I was bad at passing the time. Is Lena having dinner with us?

EVA: No, I usually give her the main meal in the middle of the day. By the way, she is losing weight. As long as she was in the hospital, she ate far too much.

Helena says something.

EVA: Lena says that …

CHARLOTTE: Wait, I understood what Lena wanted to say: There's a butterfly in the window! Was it right?

CHARLOTTE: (alone) Why do I feel like I had a fever? Why wants I'm just crying. So out of idiotic stupidity. I will stand there ashamed. That's the point. And such a bad conscience. Always, always a bad conscience. Had in such a hurry to get here. What was I really imagining? What was it that I longed for so desperately, even though I did not dare to admit it to myself? Now I'm taking a shower cum then I sleep for an hour, at least I lie down on the bed and close my eyes and then I have to put on something nice for dinner. So that Eva has to admit that her old mother is well maintained. There is no point in starting to cry; the clock is already over four. Damn it too. There she sat, looking at me with her big eyes. I held her face between my hands cum I felt the disease twitch in her stacks' neck muscles. Damn, too, that I not may uplift up her and carry her to my bed and comfort her as when she was three years old. That shattered soft body, it's my Lena. Do not cry now for hell. It is already a quarter past four. Self to take a shower, I've come up with other ideas. I shorten the visit. But four days should go well. I can do it. Then I travel to Africa as I had originally planned. It hurts. Evil. Evil. Wait. It hurts the same way in the Bartok Sonata second movement. (hums and humming for to self) Yes. I've taken those beats way too fast, of course. This is how it must be: the prelude pam-pam and then comes a little snake of torment. Slowly but without tears, because there are no more tears or there have never been. So yes. If this is true, the visit to the rectory has at least had a certain value. Now I'm going to take my red dress and that I do out of rudeness as Eva thinks that I should wear something more fitting like this shortly after Leonardo's death. In any case, there is nothing wrong with my body. It may not be that damn elegant harm that is a good and kind body.

When I get to Africa, I - Or maybe I would travel to Crete and visit Harold. (laughs) The certain is he a pig the good Harold only he cooks good food cum he knows how to live. I'm calling him tonight, that I do, that should be nice after four hours of godliness. (suddenly) So am self so mean, self am why angry all the time. Eva and Viktor have only been kind to me and shown that they are happy to have me here. And Victor is actually a nice guy. It's lucky for Eva, the lip herring, that she's got such a nice guy. Now you should see that the shower does not work either! Well, imagine it did.

EVA: This incomprehensibly strange mother! You should have seen her when I told her that Lena lived here with us. You should have seen her smile. Mayst you imagine that she got together into a smile, despite the surprise and horror. And then when we stood outside the door to Lena's room: an actress before her entrance, insanely scared but collected. The performance was superb. Believe thou my mother is completely emotionless. Why did she really come here? What she expected of a reunion after seven years. What was she expecting? And what did I expect? You never stop hoping.

VIKTOR: I do not think so.

EVA: Do you never stop being a mother and daughter?

VIKTOR: Some do.

EVA: It's like a heavy ghost that suddenly falls on you when you open the door to the nursery because you forgot a long time ago that it's the door to the children-chamber. Do you think I'm grown up?

VIKTOR: I do not know what it means to be an adult.

EVA: I do not know either.

VIKTOR: To be an adult is to be able to deal with your dreams and hopes. You do not long.

EVA: Do you think so?

VIKTOR: You might stop being surprised.

EVA: How you look sensible when you sit there with your old pipe. You are probably completely grown up.

VIKTOR: I do not think so. I am amazed every day.

EVA: Over what?

VIKTOR: Over you, for example. In addition, I have completely unreasonable dreams and hopes. And someone kind of longing with for that part.

EVA: Longing?

VIKTOR: I long for you.

EVA: The where is mighty beautiful words, is he not? I mean words that do not mean anything real. I was raised with beautiful words. The order "pain" till example. Mamma is not cursed or miscalculated or unhappy(,)[;] she "feels pain." You also have a lot of those words. Beside you is that well someone sorts occupational damage. If you say you long for me even though I'm standing here opposite you, I'm going to be suspicious.

VIKTOR: You know very well what I mean.

EVA: No. If I knew, you would never get the idea to say you long for me.

VIKTOR: (smiles) That's true.

EVA: What proves that I am at least as wise as you, perhaps wiser, which in itself does not mean much. Now I'm going to go out to the kitchen and look at the veal steak. Mom has always thought I'm bad at cooking food; she is one real guzzler; I have heard her talk all night with an American impresario about how you make sauces. They were actually both excited.

VIKTOR: I think thou prepares -

EVA: Wonderful food. Thanks(,) my friend. I must not forget to make decaffeinated coffee for my dear mother. I have often wondered why she is sleepless. I think I know the reason. If the woman sleeping normally would her vitality crush the environment(,)[;] her insomnia is natures own regulate for that get down it in fairly bearable proportions. (out, in again) Now you will see how nice she has made herself for dinner. Just look at the perfect outfit that will discreetly remind us that she is, after all, a lonely and grieving widow.

EVA: Dear mother, what a beautiful dress!

CHARLOTTE: Do you think it suits me? I thought for a long time that I could not possess red yet as one day I met my old friend Samuel Parkenhurst and he said(:) "Charlotte, I just came from Dior's autumn show and there they had a red dress that was yours entirely." I asked him to get it and - the dress myself actually. I'm hungry as a wolf.

EVA: I hope you'll like it. I have fried a veal roast. You usually like that.

CHARLOTTE: Magnificent. Just that could eat homemade after all the hotel food.

VIKTOR: Yes, we'll toast when. Welcome to the rectory, dear Charlotte. Welcome to the heart, may you enjoy and stay long.

CHARLOTTE: (in English[directly from the film]) Hello, is that you, Paul. Hello? Yes; no, no, not at all, we've just finished dinner. Yes, that's the way it is. In this country, you eat dinner at four o'clock. What? Another concert? Wait a minute let… no, you must speak up, I can't hear you. Well, the line is so noisy. Wait a minute, I have to get my book and… my glasses, [where the hell did I put them.] [back to Swedish] Eva, can you see if I've put my glasses on the table by the window? (back to English/film] Where are you? In Monte Carlo! What are you doing in Monte Carlo? Mind you don't gamble my money away. What? (Eva brings glasses) Thank you, Eva darling! [CUT FROM THE FILM (from Swedish: (business-like) Yes, I have, but they should not think so should go equally easy as last time. Greet them for my part can be happy the fee be the same, minus your commission and travel expenses. Too should they cover my expenses, that was expensive, I became practically taken ruined, in addition, they are allowed to put their repetition so that it fits better. (looks in her calendar) I come from Munich(,)[;] they get to rehearse on Saturday and Sunday morning if Varviso insists on two rehearsals. I'm not going to rush life out of me(,)[;] the connections are abysmal(,)[;] you have to sit at different airports all day. …Now should you see] Now the old gal has the glasses on her nose. Here, let me see… Oh no, that's impossible! That's my time off, and you know that very well. No… no it's no good, I wouldn't dream of it. Here I have.. I have written free, free, free…. How much do they pay, did you say? Good Lord! (laughs) Alright, If they can make that concert on Wednesday, the 17th, it'll be alright. Ok. And tell them from me, that they have to fix a proper toilet behind the platform. Yes, so I don't have to pee in a flower vase. (laughs) Well, I don't care how baroque the castle is. In the 90's? Oh, well, Take care of yourself so you don't overdo it. Mm, and remember, we are not as young as we were. Yes, I love you, you know that. (hangs up) (back to Swedish) That each my agent, he's so cute. Today he is my only friend in this world. No thanks, no cognac for me, but preferably a small whiskey in front of the evening corner. Can I not now help to set the table.

VIKTOR: We said we would spoil you.

CHARLOTTE: (settles down at the grand piano) What a nice old instrument, what a nice sound. And newly tuned! (playing a little) Now I'm really in a good mood. I worried unnecessarily.

EVA: What do you mean, Mom?

CHARLOTTE: (tearfully) Yes, what do you think, my girl? Do not you understand that it felt uneasy to see you again after seven years. I was terribly scared and could not sleep all night and with morning held me at to call cancel, if you would know.

EVA: But mom then!

CHARLOTTE: Do you think I'm made of sheet metal? Thank you, preferably two pieces of sugar. This here decaffeinated coffee is indeed not fun only what makes man when not sleeping. I see you're doing the Chopin preludes. Will not you please play something.

EVA: Not now, Mom.

CHARLOTTE: Eva! Do not be childish. You give me great pleasure if you want to play for me.

VIKTOR: Little Eva, you said the day before yesterday that you hoped your mother would want to listen to you. Did you forget that?

EVA: If you absolutely want. But I'm far from - I mean that here is just cheating and completely technical. I have not cared about the fingering that is in this edition. I could not handle it.

CHARLOTTE: Darling! Now we've heard enough excuses. Just get on with it.

Eva plays Chopin's Prelude n: o 2 in A minor.

CHARLOTTE: Dearest little Eva.

EVA: Is that all you have to say?

CHARLOTTE: No, no, I was just so moved.

EVA: (bright) Did you like it?

CHARLOTTE: I liked you.

EVA: I don't understand what you mean.

CHARLOTTE: Can't you play any of the others? Now that we're having such a good time.

EVA: I want to know what I did wrong.

CHARLOTTE: You made no mistake.

EVA: But you did not like my way of playing this particular prelude.

CHARLOTTE: Everyone must have their own opinion.

EVA: Of course. Right. And now I want to know yours.

CHARLOTTE: What is it for?

EVA: (hostile) Because I'm asking for it.

CHARLOTTE: You're already evil.

EVA: I am sorry, for to you apparently not think the is while worth to speak if for me, how you self looks on just the here prelude.

CHARLOTTE: Well, if you absolutely want to. (calm) So we ignore the purely technical that wasn't so bad, even though you might well have taken a little more interest in Cortot's fingering, as it provides some help in the interpretation. But by all means, we don't care about that problem, without only speaks of the perception itself.

EVA: Well?

CHARLOTTE: Chopin is not sentimental, Eva! He is emotional but not sentimental. It is an abyss between emotion and sentimentality. The prelude you played speaks of restrained pain, not dreams. You have to be calm, clear and severe. The temperature is high fever, but the expression is male controlled. Views you round only the first beats. (shows and plays) It does hurt but I'm showing it none. Then a short relief. But it almost volatilizes immediately and so the torment is the same, no greater and no less. The mastery is always total. Chopin was proud, sarcastic, hot-tempered, tormented, furious and very masculine. So he was not an emotional bitch. This here second prelude must sham almost ugly. It must never be flattering. IT SHOULD SOUND WRONG, laboriously nor successfully fought through. So here, here you go. (plays the piece again)

EVA: I understand.

CHARLOTTE: (almost humble) Become not sorry for me, Eva.

EVA: Why would I be sad(.)[?] On the contrary.

CHARLOTTE: For forty-five years of my life, I've been doing these awful preludes. Where available still one pulp secrets, such I do not understand. But I'm not going to give up.

EVA: When I was a child, I admired you insanely. Then I was pretty tired of you and your pianos for several years. Now I'm starting to admire you again, albeit in a different way.

CHARLOTTE: (sarcastic) Then there is some hope.

EVA: (serious) Yes, by all means.

VIKTOR: I think Charlotte's analysis is seductive, but Eva's interpretation feels more urgent.

CHARLOTTE: (laughs happily) For this statement, Viktor gets a kiss!

VIKTOR: (embarrassed) I'm just saying what I think.

{in the movie, not in the script}

[CHARLOTTE: Eva, where are you?

EVA: I'm up here, Mama.

CHARLOTTE: I've changed, so we can go for a walk if you like. Is this the nursery?

EVA:Yes, It's Erik's room.

CHARLOTTE: Why would you keep it this way?

EVA: We've often talked about changing it.] ({removed from the film} I go here to the grave every Saturday. If it's mild like tonight,) I sit here on the bench for a while and let my thoughts go as they please. (pause) Erik drowned the day before he would turn four years old. We have one old well on the farm cum the lid is nailed down, but somehow he had gotten it up and failed down. We found him almost immediately harm he was already gone. Viktor managed not it there, so was something especially between Erik and his father. I mourned a lot in an outward way. Deep down, I felt from the beginning that he was still alive, that we lived close to each other. I need only concentrate on the very least, so is he there. Sometimes just with I should fall asleep can I feel that he breathes against my face and so pipe it at me with his hand. Do you think it sounds tense? Maybe I can understand if you think so. For me, it's completely natural. He lives one other life harm anytime mayst we reach each other, there is no limit, no insurmountable wall. Sometimes, of course, I wonder what the reality is like where my little boy lives and breathes. Simultaneously understand I the to the does not work to blazon, because it is a world of liberated emotions. Viktor has it much harder than I do. He says he can no longer believe in God because God lets children die or burn, or become insane, or shot, or starved. I try to explain to him that there is no difference between children and adults because the adults are still children, who have to live disguised as adults. To me man is an incredible creation, like an inconceivable thought and in man there is everything, from the highest to the lowest, just like in life, and man is the image of God and in God there is everything, everything is like mighty forces and so the devils are created and the saints and the prophets and the dark and the artists and the destroyers. [sic]

All are side by side and penetrate each other. It's like mighty patterns that are constantly changing, understand you what I mean? In this way, there must also be an unlimited amount of realities, not just the reality that we grasp with our blunt minds without a tumult of realities that arch over and around each other, inside and outside. It is only fear and common sense to believe in some boundaries. THERE ARE NO LIMITS. Not for the thoughts, not for the emotions. It is anxiety that sets the borders, think don't you there also? When thou playing slow rates in Beethoven's Hammer-piano sonata when need you the whiff that you pipe you in one world without restrictions, in of one vast motion as you never can through behold or explore. It is as with Jesus. He blew up the laws and restrictions with a whole new feeling, which no one had heard of before(,)[;] it was love. Klart att mänskor blev rädda och ursinniga, precis som de nästan alltid blir förfärade och försöker smita, när en stor känsla överväldigar dem, trots att de går där och längtar sig fördärvade efter sina förtorkade och dödade känslor.

CHARLOTTE: I will be horrified when I hear her reason. It is so over-stretched - so beyond reason. And then there is the obvious! She's hanging out with your little boy(,)[;] she has solved the world's riddle(,)[;] there are answers to all the questions.

VIKTOR: (smiles) Yes, yes.

CHARLOTTE: You may not let her go around with that there (the) way.

VIKTOR: What argues you?

CHARLOTTE: I believe that she really is terribly unhappy. And how she suddenly one day realizes how poor it is placed and then makes her somewhat crazy.

VIKTOR: Think you really that?

CHARLOTTE: Yes, so believe me indeed.

VIKTOR: Is she up at Lena?

CHARLOTTE: She would do it for discipline for the night.

VIKTOR: Fashion you now down a moment, dear Charlotte, and associated with, so shall I try to explain how I see my wife.

CHARLOTTE: Yes, currently sitting me so?

VIKTOR: When I bad[e] Eva that she would marry herself to me, said she immediately in of that she not adored me.[sic] I asked about her beloved somebody else. She replied that she never had loved any humans, that she was unable to love. sic Eva and I lived here for several years, we were kind towards each other, worked much, traveled abroad on my holidays, then born Erik. We had already given up hope to receive the own child and spoke one part about to we would adopt - (pause) So. In and with pregnancy underwent Eva a total change. She was glad, soft and outward. She was lazy, ignored over parish work and her piano-playing. She could sit for the whereat stolen with legs on one other chair and look on the light's walk over the mountain and the fjord. We were suddenly much happy - you sorry if I'm stating the - we were much happy in the bed indeed. I am twenty years older yet Eva, I'm liked enough that it had started lead as a gray film over existence, about thou understand what I mean. I liked that I could see myself round and say, so, yes, this here was then life, so here would it become. But then was all different, it was some extremely - (pause) There were some extremely (pause) You may forgive me, Charlotte, but it is still somewhat difficult to (pause) Yes. There were some years like were very rich. You would set Eva. You should really have seen her.

CHARLOTTE: I remember them there years around Erik's birth. Just then recorded me in all the Mozart sonatas and the piano concertos. I had not one single day free.

VIKTOR: No, just that. We invited thyself time to time, but you had pity probably never time.

CHARLOTTE: No.

VIKTOR: Near Erik drowned became the gray the film even grayer. For Eva matter that thus differently.

CHARLOTTE: Differently? How, differently?

VIKTOR: Her sense lives uneaten, at least acts that so. She has become lean and angular and is more unbalanced till mood - she mayst till example receive huge fury. But I don't think she's overstretched or strange. And if she feels that her son lives in her neighborhood, maybe that's how it is. She doesn't often talk about it(,)[;] she's probably afraid it'll hurt me - and it probably does. But what she says sounds true. I believe her.

CHARLOTTE: Yeah, sure. You're a priest.

VIKTOR: The little faith I have, living on her terms.

CHARLOTTE: I'm sorry if I hurt you.

VIKTOR: It's okay, Charlotte. Unlike you and Eva, I am a diffuse and insecure person. I have to blame myself.

CHARLOTTE: Don't you think I should feast on a couple of hefty sleeping pills tonight? Actually, I think so. This is so calm and still, only some rain which murmurs some good against some ceiling. Two mogadone and two valiums are usually just right.

EVA: Hast thou all you need?

CHARLOTTE: It is so excellent. Right the variety of biscuits and mineral water and a tape recorder and cassettes and two detective novels and earplugs and blindfold and extra pillow and my little itch. If you want to taste my good Swiss chocolate, fresh from Zurich. Please, you may take two bits.

EVA: Thanks, Mom, but I'm not that fond of chocolate.

CHARLOTTE: That's weird. I want to remember you were crazy about sweets as a kid.

EVA: Helena liked sweets. Not me.

CHARLOTTE: All the better, I have my chocolate for myself.

EVA: Good night, little mother.

CHARLOTTE: Good night, my kid, and thank you for tonight. Viktor is really a delightful person. You have to take care of him.

EVA: It is me also.

CHARLOTTE: Are you happy together? Are you all right?

EVA: (patient) Momma little. Viktor is my best friend. I don't know what life would look like if I didn't have him.

CHARLOTTE: He said you didn't love him.

EVA: Did he say that?

CHARLOTTE: Yeah, sure. Why?

EVA: Just a little surprising.

CHARLOTTE: Was it a secret?

EVA: No.

CHARLOTTE: But you don't like him saying it.

EVA: Viktor doesn't usually confide.

CHARLOTTE: We were talking about you.

EVA: If you want to know anything, you can ask me directly. I promise to be as sincere as I can.

CHARLOTTE: Dear child, you really can't make a big deal out of this. It is not very unnatural for an old mother to be curious about how her daughter is doing. We talked about you with the greatest affection, I can assure you.

EVA: If I might understand why you can't leave people alone.

CHARLOTTE: I think I've left you alone for too long.

EVA: (smiles) You may be right about that.

CHARLOTTE: Let's not talk about this sad feeling. Then I won't sleep tonight, even with the sleeping pills.

EVA: We can talk some other time.

CHARLOTTE: That's right. Yield me a hug and promise me you're not evil over your old mother.

EVA: I promise.

CHARLOTTE: I love you, you see.

EVA: (mild) I love you too.

CHARLOTTE: It's not so damn fun to be alone all the time, I'll tell you. I'm just getting jealous of you and Viktor.

EVA: Yeah, yeah.

CHARLOTTE: Now that Leonardo is dead, I'm so damn lonely. Can you understand that?

EVA: Yes, I understand that.

CHARLOTTE: No, no, no. Now I'm about to start crying with self-pity[,] and we had decided there would be no surge of emotion tonight. This detective novel is actually not that bad. It's a new writer, Adam Kretzinsky. Have you heard of him?

EVA: No.

CHARLOTTE: I met him in Madrid. He was crazy. I could hardly resist. That is, I did not resist at all. Good night, little Eva.

EVA: Good night, Mom.

CHARLOTTE: He admired me as a crazy person and said I was the most beautiful woman in his life. What do you do about that?

EVA: You tell me when you want breakfast.

CHARLOTTE: No trouble for me.

EVA: But I want to pamper you.

CHARLOTTE: Supposing you absolutely insist.

EVA: Strong coffee, warm milk, two slices [of] darkened German bread with Jarlsberg cheese, [and] a slice [of] white toasted bread with honey. Is that not the case?

CHARLOTTE: And a glass of pressed orange juice.

EVA: I almost forgot.

CHARLOTTE: I mayst really …

EVA: I'll give you your juice. Good night, Mom!

CHARLOTTE: Good night, darling.

CHARLOTTE: (alone) I think I'll look at my accounts. (brings out a red notebook) I must not forget to let Brammer put the money after Leonardo. The house is also worth quite much(,)[;] thou bothered you never about things like that which assets and debts, you were above earthly worries, you left all the problems to Charlotte. "You, Charlotte, who's so smart with money, you, Charlotte, are my finance minister." Once when you were mad at me, you said I was mean. Am I stingy? Careful with money, of course. Grandfather's farmer bloody and bond sense. 3,735,866 francs. I can't believe you had so much money, Leonardo. Who would have thought that? And you'll bequeath it all to your old Charlotte. I've got a little money, too. That adds up to over five million. What do I do with so much money? I'll buy a nice car for Viktor and Eva. They can't ride around in that old cart, standing down in the yard. It seems to be lethal. On Monday, we'll go into town and watch a car. It will cheer them up. And me too. (yawn) Now I'm starting to feel calm and sleepy. I'll read a little in Adam's book cum then I'll put out. Here's real quiet. The rain has stopped. Oh, yeah. (reads) "She handed him the red flower of her virginity with dumb dignity; he received it without enthusiasm, even though he had fixed her small hard breasts all morning and the strong light pubic hairs that stood above the waistband of the bikini." God, that's rubbish! He was intrinsically a correct idiot the there Adam even though he almost killed himself for my sake. (smiles) If I were to buy a new car myself and give Eva and Viktor the Mercedes. Then I can fly back to Paris cum I can buy a car there I won't have to drive all the way. (yawns) Tomorrow I'll get started on sharp with Ravel, divinity what I've been sloppy the last few weeks, simply unforgivable. (closes eyes) He is a sad man, Victor, eerily like Joseph, but more insignificant. They get bored of each other, of course!

The door opens. Charlotte gets very scared. Short comes Helena rushing in on the room, throws herself over the mother, she is heavy cum stark. After a brief battle, Charlotte wakes up.

EVA: But mother then, what has happened. I heard you call, and when I came into your room, you weren't there.

CHARLOTTE: I'm sorry if I woke you up only self had such an unpleasant dream. I dreamed that -

EVA: Yes?

CHARLOTTE: No, I don't remember what it was.

EVA: I'll be happy to keep you company if you want to talk.

CHARLOTTE: No, thank you, dear. I'm just going to sit for a while and pick myself up. Go to bed.

EVA: Then I'll do it.

CHARLOTTE: Eva!

EVA: Yes, Mom!

CHARLOTTE: You like me, don't you?

EVA: Yeah, sure. You're my mother.

CHARLOTTE: That was not a sincere answer.

EVA: Then I want to answer with a counter-question. Do you like me?

CHARLOTTE: I love you.

EVA: That is not true. (smiles)

CHARLOTTE: You accuse me for lacking love. [sic]Eva does not answer, looks at her.

CHARLOTTE: Do you not realize the unreasonable nature of such an accusation?

EVA: (looks at her) It was not an accusation.

CHARLOTTE: Do you accuse yourself of lacking love for Viktor?

EVA: I have told Viktor that I do not love him. You're playing eroticism. There is a difference.

CHARLOTTE: And if I've been in good faith?

EVA: Now I don't understand what you mean.

CHARLOTTE: About I sure I've been deeply convinced that I loved you and Helena.

EVA: That is not possible.

CHARLOTTE: Do you remember when I interrupted my career and decided to stay home?

EVA: I do not know which was the worst: the time you were home to play wife and mother or the time you were on tour. But the more I think about it, the more I understand that you did hell for us, both Dad and me.

CHARLOTTE: You know nothing about Dad and my relationship.

EVA: Dad was as cuddled and as submissive as I and everyone else.

CHARLOTTE: It's not true. Dad and I were happy together. Joseph was the finest, tastiest, and most tender man in the world. He loved me cum me could have done what that preferably for him.

EVA: Of course. You deceived him.

CHARLOTTE: I did not deceive him. I fell in love with Martin and traveled with him for eight months. Do you think that time was a dance on roses?

EVA: In any case, it was me who got to sit with Dad in the evenings and the where I who got to comfort him and the was I like constantly forced to repeat that you enough despite everything loved him and that you right would surely come back, it was I who got to read your letters. Your long, tender, loving, funny, humorous letters where you told selected episodes of your interested travel. We sat there like stupid idiots and read your letters twice, three times and thought there was no more wonderful person than you.

CHARLOTTE: (still, surprised) Eva, thou hates me.

EVA: I don't know. I'm so confused. Suddenly you come here after seven years cum I rejoice me to bring you here. I don't know what I imagined. Maybe I thought you were alone and sad. I don't know. I thought maybe I was fully grown, that I looked clearly at you and on myself and away Helen's disease and in our childhood. Now I understand that it is all one great chaos. (pause) Good night mother. There is no point in talking about the past. It hurts too much cum further is it makes no sense.

CHARLOTTE: You throw out a lot of accusations and then go!

EVA: Because in any case, it's too late.

CHARLOTTE: What is too late?

EVA: Nothing can change.Now, through silence, a plaintively drawn-out tone is heard, hardly human. Charlotte looks horrified at her daughter. Eva says: "Helena has woken up(,)[;] I'm going up to her for a little while and see if she needs anything." She hurries through the dark house, knows the way, does not need to light up(,)[;] outside the window[,] the moonlight stands immobile. It's still, no wind, no bird. Eva carefully opens the door to Helen's room. The complaining sound almost stops immediately. She turns on the table lamp. Helena sitter [sits] high embedded on the screen-equipped bed, she jerks in the neck and shoulder cum she biter[s] on the lips. The eyes are tightly closed, she sleeps. Eva wakes her gently. Slow opening her eyes, slowly familiar her back her reality, she tries saying something but refrains almost immediately. Eva asks her if she is thirsty; she declines, closes the eye. Sleeps immediately. [sic] The twitching subsides, the face becomes calm. Eva sits with her, looks at her. Extinguishes the lamp. Views at her.

EVA: To you, I was a doll that you played with when you had time. If I got sick or troubled, you left me to the nurse or more Dad! You shut yourself up and worked, and then no one was allowed to interfere. I was standing outside the door listening. When you took your coffee break, I dared sneak in to see if you existed. You were kindly but absent. If I asked you about anything, I hardly got an answer. I was sitting on the floor looking at you, you each large and beautiful, the room was starved and airy, the marquis each drawn down, outside it blew into the leaf masses, it was all wrapped up in an unreal green shimmer. Sometimes I had to row you out on the bay, you had a long white curled summer dress that showed your breasts that were so beautiful, you were barefoot and had braided your hair in a thick braid, you liked to look down into the water, it was clear and cold, you could see the big stones down there at the bottom, the plants and fish, your hair got wet and your hands got wet. [sic] Because you were always so pretty, I wanted to be nice too. I was pedantically careful with my outfit. Always anxious that you wouldn't like my look, I thought I was so ugly, skinny and angular and big cows and big ugly lips and no eyebrows and eyelashes, the arms were far too long cum my feet were too big and my toes too flat and - no I thought I looked almost disgusting. But you showed almost you never said you were worried about my look, once you said: I think you should have been a boy and you laughed because I wouldn't be sad. But I did understand. I cried a whole week in secret, as you hated tears - the tears of others.

Then suddenly one day your suitcases were standing below the stairs cum you spoke on the phone in foreign languages, I went into the nursery and prayed to God that something would happen that prevented your travel; grandmother would die or so would car earthquake or all flights would receive engine failure; but you always traveled, the doors were open, and the house was blowing, and everyone was talking in each other's mouth, and you came up to me, and embraced and kissed me, and hugged me, and kissed me again, and looked at me, and smiled at me, and you smelled good and foreign and yourself you were also alien, you were already on your way, you didn't see me, I thought now the heart stops, now I'm dying, it hurts so bad, I'll never be happy again, it's only been five minutes, how can I endure such pain for two months and so wept me on Dad's knee cum dad sat completely immobile with his small soft hand on my head, he sat forever and smoked his old pipe, he surrounded us with smoke, he sometimes said something: If we're going to the movies tonight or today, I think it would taste like ice cream for dinner. But I didn't care about ice cream or cinema because I was dying. So went the days and weeks, Dad and I shared solitude correct good; we didn't have much to say to each other, but it was so calm with him and never that I disturbed him, sometimes he looked a little concerned, self didn't know he had constant financial difficulties only always when I came clinging wanted it up cum then we conversed for a while nor also patched it me only with his little faded hand nor also he sat on the leather couch with Uncle Otto and drank brandy cum both of them were quietly muttering with each other, I wonder if they heard what they said, or uncle Harry was there playing chess cum then it was as well as extra quiet, then heard man three different watches ticking in the house.

[Disheartening?] Several days before you came home, I had a fever of arousal, and I was anxious that I would get sick for real because I knew you were afraid of sick people. [Neutral?] And then when you came, I almost couldn't bear my happiness and nothing I could say either, so sometimes you got a little impatient and said: Eva is determined not very happy to have her mother back home. Then I became fiery red in the face and right sweaty yet could not say anything, as I none had any words because you had taken care of all order home with us. I loved you, I think it was life and death, but I distrusted your words. I instinctively understood that you hardly ever meant what you said. [neutral] You have such fair voice mother, when I was small felt this in all the body, when you spoke till me and often became you annoyed at me, for that I not had heard what you told till me. It was because I listened to your voice, but it was also because I didn't understand what you were saying. I understood didn't your words, they tallied not with some expression in your eyes or your tone. The worst part was that you smiled when you were evil. When you hated Dad, you called him "my dearest friend," when you were tired of me, you said, "beloved little girl." Nothing was right. Wait, Mom, I need to finish speaking, I know I'm a little drunk, but if I hadn't had a drink, I would never have said what I said. [inspirational?] Then, when I'm dropping courage and not dare say more or fall silent, because that I'm ashamed for what I'm saying, when can you speak and explain, I shall listen and understand, precise as I ever hast listened and understood. After all, it went well to be your little kid. There was nothing wrong with me loving you. You tolerated me like that pretty because you had your travels. [informal?]But there is something I have never understood cum there is your relationship with dad, I've been thinking so much about both of you lately, but your relationship is a mystery.

[Informative?] Sometimes think I that you were entirely dependent on dad, despite that he was so much weaker than you, in some way showed you one regard towards him, that you never showed towards myself and Helena. You ashamed away Daddy, thou spake about him as were he of grander matter. Still was poor Dad just one small mediocrity, kind and modest and inoffensive. As far as I understand, you paid Dad's debts several times. Was it not like that?

CHARLOTTE: Yes.

EVA: I think how dad had tiny events, I remember in all fall least three foreign ladies that came home till us and sat in some living room, as you were out on journeys. One of them was probably named Maria van Eyck and was your student?

CHARLOTTE: Dad had a relationship with Maria. Pretty short and pretty modest.

EVA: Did not you care about those stories?

CHARLOTTE: No, I really could not hurt Dad for his little stories. In addition, he had good taste. You said Dad was an average person. That is one both cruel and unfair judiciously, that presents that you none knew your Father. Under other circumstances, Joseph would have been one of Europe's great architects, but he was far too considerate and far too decent. He had to stand back for his older brother, who wasn't half as talented, and it was an accident that they inherited your grandfather's firm together. Joseph never wanted to quarrel or assert his opinion. But he had great ideas, he designed till example one concerto house till Copenhagen or was it Oslo, no, it was probably Lyon actually, and all [sic] were agreed about that it was one of the prettiest buildings as created under the thirties, then came the war cum the project expired. Poor Joseph, he was unlucky with everything he did. He was videlicet one REAL big man and not at all average. You look so skeptical, Eva. Do you not believe me?

EVA: What does it mean? Your words apply in your reality, my words valid in mine. If we change words, they are useless.

CHARLOTTE: You talked before about my self-deception. I do not think you're right. I never lied to myself. The actual relationship was pretty scary: I had back pain, could not rehearse properly, my concerts were poor, I lost important commitment. I began to think that my life was meaningless. At the same time, I had a bad conscience for you and Joseph. I thought it was idiotic to drag myself around from city to city, scolded and ashamed, when I could instead be at your house. You laugh ironically. I'm trying to tell you truthfully, I'm just telling you what I was thinking, and then I don't care what you think. But one time may you this be said, then we never talk about it again.

EVA: I'm trying to understand.

CHARLOTTE: Self was in Hamburg I played Beethoven's number one, it is not very difficult cum everything had gone well. After I went and old Schmiess, you know the conductor - he's dead now, at a local and we used to do that. When we dined and drank real long cum self was satisfied cum relaxed cum back pain almost did not feel so Schmiess said: Why do not you stay at home husband and children and live a respectable life instead of subjecting yourself to constant humiliation? I stared at him cum then I laughed. Did you think I played so badly tonight? No, I didn't think so, he said, smiling. But I can't help thinking about August 18th, 1934. Then were you twenty years and we played Beethoven's one coupled in Linz, will you remember that evening, it was thirty-five gradations warm, the hall was packed, we played like gods, it burned in the orchestra, for the concert went them folk and screamed and stomped and the orchestra gave touche. You wore a red all-simple summer dress and long hair right to your waist.You were cheerful and unmoved, for your part we could have played the concert five times that night, it would have been just as fun. How do you remember all that? I asked. I have it written down in my score, Schmiess said. I usually record my great experiences.When I got to the hotel, I couldn't sleep. At three o'clock in the morning, I called Joseph's house and told him that I had decided: I'd stop the trips, I'd stay home with him and you, we'd be a real family. Josef became awful glad. We cried with emotion both of us, we spoke for almost two hours. So much for that. At least it was not a fraud. Perhaps a childish notion that life could perform merciful ways out for Charlotte Andergast as well. That was, of course, stupid. After a month, I realized that I was a terrible burden for you and Dad, that I longed for home. After a few years, I calmed down, started giving lessons, devoted myself to you and your upbringing, participated in Dad's worries.

For the summers dwelled us in a small house in the archipelago - you remember that. (Eva nods, smiles without smiling) We were pretty happy, I think. Or were we not?

Thou was not happy?

EVA: (shaking on head) No, I wasn't happy.

CHARLOTTE: (sighs) You said that you never had it so good.

EVA: I didn't want to disappoint you.

CHARLOTTE: There you are. (laughing) What did I do wrong?

EVA: You did nothing wrong! As always, you were magnificent.For me, you were terrible. I was fourteen years old, and for lack of any better, you turned all your pent-up energy on me. You'd bet you'd neglected me, and now you'd make up for the neglect. I fought my way as best I could, but I didn't have a chance. For everything else, I loved you and was always absolutely convinced that you were right and that I was wrong. Do you know what you did? You remarked ne'er on-line, you used rewrites. But every hour of the day, you came with your smiles, your little jokes, your tender care or slightly worried tone of voice. There was not a detail that was not subject to your loving energy. I grew too fast. You started gymnastics, naturally did we practice together, referring to your own bad back. I had pimples(.)[;] I was you in puberty; where existed immediate a dermatologist who each good friend to the family, he prescribed ointments and tinctures which I must ill of and which did some skin yet redder. You thought that I was also much trouble with my long hair, which you regarded that I mishandled, therefore shortcut you me, it was horrible, I thought I looked grotesque outward. Then worst of all, you got to think my teeth had grown wrong cum you made sure I got braces, I didn't look wise. [neutral?] You explained to me that I was a big girl and that I wouldn't go in long pants and vest without on dresses that you had sewn or sewn yourself without asking what I thought and self I couldn't say no, because I didn't want to make you sad. You gave me books to read that I none thought about, as they were just for sophisticated for my sense, I read and read and then would you and I discuss back what I had read. [very strongly cautionary?]

You explained and recounted, I understood not what you spoke about, was only cautious for that one day you would expose me and my limitless stupidity. I became being lame, but I understood one thing very clearly: there was not a millimeter of it that indeed was me, who could be loved or even accepted. You were obsessed cum self became more and more afraid, increasingly destroyed. I no longer knew who I was, as I'd at any moment please you. [very strongly neutral?]I became as a clumsy puppet which you those manage, I said what you desired, I did your gestures and movements for to you would like me, I dared not be self myself a single moment, not even when I was alone because I cool disliked that which was my own. It was horrible, Mom, and I'm still shaking my whole body when I talk about those years. It was horrendous, but it would get worse. I didn't realize I hated you because I was utterly convinced that we loved each other, cum that you knew everything (the) best. So I couldn't hate you as hatred was born insane anxiety. [very intensely concerned?] I had terrible dreams, I bit my nails and pulled big shots out of my hair, I tried crying but couldn't - didn't make a sound, I tried to scream - it just turned into stifled grunts that frightened me even more. One day you took me in your arms, sat next to me on the couch cum cried small cum said you were worried about my development and that we should talk to a good doctor about my situation. I understood that you actually meant that I was becoming insane - I felt a kind of melancholy satisfaction with that opportunity. [informative & inspirational with strong intensity?] So come me then to a psychiatrist, one olden tired uncle at white coat which all the time while we talked to each other, threw a large paper knife into his thick belly. [informal with very strong intensity?] He started asking me about my sex life, but since I did not know what he was talking about - I had not even had my first period - I had to come up with something.

I believe he was middling amazed by my sophisticated taste and my perverted fantasies. Or he looked through me and didn't want to hurt me. He was kind and well-meaning and said that I should think that my mother loved me and wanted my best, but I already knew that.

CHARLOTTE: And so I traveled my way with Martin. You never understood that?

EVA: I never thought of those words.

CHARLOTTE: But you thought I let it down.

EVA: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: Never have you ever - (stopping. pause)Eva is silent. Charlotte is silent.

EVA: Do you remember Stefan?

CHARLOTTE: I remember Stefan. You would never have made it with a child!

EVA: Mamma! I was 18. Stefan was an adult, we held each other, we had managed -

CHARLOTTE: You'd never make it.

EVA: We had managed ourselves, WE WANTED HAVE CHILD, but you, you ruined our relationship.

CHARLOTTE: That is not true. That's fucking not true. On the contrary, I told Dad that we had to be careful, that we should wait. Understood you not that your Stefan was a slob, a semi-criminal little punk, who at all times cheated you.

EVA: (with hatred) You hated him from first the instant, as you saw that I loved him, that I held on sliding away from you, you did everything you could before to destroy our relationship. Simultaneously what you played understanding and trusting.

CHARLOTTE: And the baby.

EVA: Stefan was completely changed when he found out I was pregnant.

CHARLOTTE: Your Stefan drank her full, borrowed my car, drove on in the dike cum became indicted for drink-driving, SO was his reaction to your pregnancy.

EVA: (furious) Do you think that you know everything? Were you present at Stefans and my calls, low you under the bed when we were together, know you over header what you speak on? Have you ever bothered to find out another man's thoughts and feelings? Do you care about any living creature other than yourself?

CHARLOTTE: I've heard those accusations a few times.

EVA: Stefan wasn't like anyone else(,)[;] he was only much better and far more honest.

CHARLOTTE: [joyful with very strong intensity; assertive with strong intensity] I guess that's why he stole that small Rembrandt etching and pledging on, so where well because he lied to you about his childhood and upbringing and his tragic family circumstances, that I guess that's why he broke into our summer house with his good friends and drink up the spirits and pigs down.

EVA: All it there happened AFTERWARDS. Did you forget? [Neutral with very strong intensity] Have you forgotten that you managed to get me placed in a psychiatric clinic after the abortion and that you reported Stefan to the police when he entered the villa to talk to you?

CHARLOTTE: If you real If I wanted you a child, I would never have forced you to have an abortion.

EVA: And what did I have to resist? You had brainwashed me from childhood(,)[;] I always had complied with your will(,)[;] I was scared and unsure and needed help and support.

CHARLOTTE: (anxious) I thought I was helping you. I was convinced supposing that abortion was the only solution. I have been convinced about that point until this moment. It's terrible that you've been carrying this hatred for all these years. Why have you never said anything?

EVA: Because you never listen. Because you're a notorious escapist, because you're emotionally disabled, because you really hate me and Helena, because you're helplessly trapped in yourself, because you're always yourself in the way, because you've carried me in your cold womb and thrust me out with disgust, because I loved you, because you thought I was disgusting and failed and untalented. [sic] [Neutral with very strong intensity] [Neutral with very strong intensity] And you succeeded damage me for life precisely as thou oneself are injured, the all that which is sensitive and delicate gave you thyself to, the all living you came at attempted you suffocate. You're talking about my hatred. Your hatred was no less. YOUR HATRED WAS NO LESS. I was small and malleable and loving. You Band me You needed my love, just as you need all other people to love you too. I was unprotected. Everything happened in the name of love, thou I kept saying you loved me and Dad and Helena. And you mastered the tone of love and gestures. People Like You - People Like You fatal, you should be locked up and rendered harmless. A mother and a daughter, that fearful combination of emotion cum confusion and destruction. Everything is possible cum everything takes place in the name of love and care. [Assertive with very strong intensity] The mother's damage to inherited by the daughter, the mother's miscalculations shall the daughter apply, mother's accident shall become the daughter's accident, it is as if the umbilical string never became severed. The daughter's accident is the mother's triumph, daughter's pain is the mother's underhanded enjoyment.Helena wakes up to Eva's voice. She becomes cautious, tone of intonation and voice position scares her. She works her way out of bed, takes over on lofty end cum sliding down on the floor, dragging facing the door on elbows and knees, falling on the side, is breathless and trembling.

EVA: We lived on your terms, on your miserly testimony. We thought that life would be like that, a child is always extradited, does not understand, is helpless, cannot understand, does not know, no one says anything, there is dependence, humiliation and so the distance, the insurmountable wall, the child cries, no one answers, no one comes, do you not understand? [sic]

CHARLOTTE: You have in your terrible hatred made yourself a picture of me, is it true? Do you seriously think that's the whole truth?Eva hides her face in her hands, shaking her head.

CHARLOTTE: Remember your grandmother. No, natural none, you were seven years when she died. Grandfather recalls you better, I believe till and with to you cum he had pretty good contact.

EVA: I was afraid for Grandma(,)[;] she was thus overwhelming both bodily and spiritually. Grandpa was kind.

CHARLOTTE: Yeah, yeah. That's how it was for you.

EVA: But not for you.

CHARLOTTE: No, you can hardly say that. Mother and father were distinguished mathematicians, obsessed with their science and each other. It was dominant, credulous cum good-natured. We children regarded them with astonished benevolence, only without heat or actual interest. I can't remember any of them ever concerned over me or my brothers, whether with caresses or punishments. In by ourselves agency was I full ignorant of all things that had to do with love: tenderness, touch, closeness, warmth. It was only through music that I was able to show my feelings. Sometimes when I lie awake at night I wonder if I have lived at all. [sic] What a wonderful life you are living, Mrs. Andergast, says someone who wants to be friendly. Imagine making people so happy. And I'm thinking, I ALIVE NO, I'VE NEVER BEEN BORN, I PRESSED FRONT FROM MY MOTHER'S BODY, IT JOINED AND IMMEDIATELY TURNED AGAINST FATHER, I DO NOT EXIST. Sometimes I have wondered whether it is the same for all people or whether some have more talent for living than others. If some people never live, only exist?

EVA: How long have you known all this?

CHARLOTTE: Three years ago, I was sick, it maybe you didn't know, I received some sepsis and low two months in a hospital in Paris. Leonardo canceled his concerts and stayed with me the whole time. I was about to - well, I guess I was the closest to dying. Then it took quite a long time that - I had some sort's depression, or what to call it.

EVA: But Mom, I had no idea.

CHARLOTTE: There was no reason to worry you. Well, anyway, Leonardo and I started talking to each other, since we had such an unusual amount of time. That is, Leonardo spoke. I listened and tried to understand. It was quite difficult at first. By all means, I can be soulful, if necessary. But I have never cared about the soul itself. (sighs) It was like lectures in first(-)grade cum I was not a very good disciple. Before the most thought me that Leonardo was talking nonsense, at once enjoyed I thought it was nice to have him sitting on the edge of the bed. (smiles) He had endless patience. But sometimes he actually said that I was a big stupid faggot, and that he couldn't believe how I could be such a decent musician. (pause) [very strongly inspirational & strongly informal] To I ended up with someone kind of picture of myself: I'VE NEVER BEEN A VIXEN, MY FACE AND MY BODY ARE AGING, I'M GETTING MEMORIES AND EXPERIENCES, BUT INSIDE THOSE OBLIGATIONS I'M LIKE UNBORN. (pause) I don't remember any faces, not even my own. Sometimes tries I remember me[sic] mother's face, I recall it not - that is clear - I realize that she was large and dark and had blue eyes and big[sic] nose and rounded mouth and broad forehead, but I may not get the different pieces to agree, I see her not. [sic] In the same set is it impossible for me to remember your face or Helenas or Leonardos. [sic] I remember giving birth to you and your sister, but I recall none of the childbirth more than it hurt - but the pain, how it tasted, I don't remember. (pause) Leonardo once said, no, I don't remember. "A sense of reality is a talent thing," he said, "most people lack that talent cum that is maybe lucky." Do you understand what he meant?

EVA: I think so.

CHARLOTTE: Yes, it really is - (quietly)

EVA: (after pause) What?

CHARLOTTE: It is indeed awkward.

EVA: Awkward?

CHARLOTTE: I've always been afraid of you. (astonished)

EVA: I cannot understand that.

CHARLOTTE: (quiet surprise) I wanted enough that you might take hand about me, self wished that thou would keep me in my arms and comfort me.

EVA: I was a child.

CHARLOTTE: Does it matter?

EVA: No.

CHARLOTTE: I saw that you loved me cum I'm I wanted to love you, but I couldn't because I was afraid of your demands.

EVA: I had no demands.

CHARLOTTE: I THOUGHT you had requirements, which I couldn't fill. I felt awkward and disabled. I didn't want to be your mother(,)[;] I wanted you to know that I was as helpless as you but poorer, are afraid.

EVA: Is that true?

CHARLOTTE: I hear myself say things I have never said. Am I lying, am I playing theatre, I am telling the truth, I don't know, Eve. I don't know. Jag känner mig upprörd och förvirrad. Maybe it's Leonardo's death. Maybe Helena's disease. Maybe your terrible hatred. (anxious) Eva, be nice to me! It hurts so much!

EVA: I know it hurts.

CHARLOTTE: Why do you look at me like that?

EVA: I'll tell you soon.Helena has cum great trouble opened the door and taken herself out in the upper hallway; she has dragged herself up till the stairs, located prostrate in the dark, listening till the two women's deliberation.

CHARLOTTE: You're supposed to say what's on your mind.

EVA: I think of Helena and Leonardo.

CHARLOTTE: I do not understand.

EVA: Don't?

CHARLOTTE: They hardly knew each other.

EVA: Mamma!

CHARLOTTE: We were together on Bornholm one Easter.

EVA: You left after three days.

CHARLOTTE: I remember it raining. I even think it snowed.

EVA: Mamma!

CHARLOTTE: I was going to play Bartok's first with Ansermet in Geneva.(pause) I was anxious to get there on time. I wanted to go through the concert in peace with the old gentleman. So I might have traveled earlier. It was right one horrible weather.(long pause) Leonardo was in a bad mood. And you weren't that cheerful, either.

EVA: Mamma!

CHARLOTTE: I don't know why you want to make me remember that stupid Easter. I understand from your tone that I should be ashamed of something. You'll have to excuse me.

EVA: [freindly with very strong intensity; joyful with strong intensity] You and Leonardo came on Thursday(,)[;] we had a lovely night together(,)[;] we played and sang and drank wine and laughed and played some old game when we found through a closet. Helena was with us(,)[;] she wasn't unwell then; she became glad and warm and happy. Leonardo was delighted with her joy(,)[;] he talked and joked with her(,)[;] she immediately fell in love(,)[;] they sat together until well into the night. Neighbor morning told Helena for me in largest trust that Leonardo had kissed her. [Neutral with very strong intensity] In the morning scored Leonardo and Helena one outing with the car, it was on Good Friday, it was mild and still, a correct spring day, that you have forgotten it, mum? When they came home from their outing, where they cheer up and tan, you were on the phone; you had been calling all morning. [Joyful with very strong intensity] When they entered the tambourine and Leonardo set Helena down on a chair, you interrupted your phone call and said, "Now thank Leonardo very much for being so kind to you." Helena laughed and said: "My mother speaks to me as if I were eight years old. Is it not touching?" Then you said with a completely different tone, "It's nice that you haven't lost your sense of comedy." Then you continued your phone call as if nothing had happened. By the afternoon, Leonardo had been looking for a book out of his bag. It was a Mozart biography(,)[;] he read loudly for Helena(,) and they looked together at the pictures. You practiced your Bartok concert for hours. In You came out to me in the kitchen to make your tea. You said, "Have you seen Helena? Is it not touching?" We had guests for dinner. Leonardo was intoxicated and played all of Bach's solo suites; he was one very different, as like enlarged, heavy and mild cum awful drunk, he played poorly but beautifully. Helena thickset where in the dusk and shone, I have never seen any such. The guests strayed, deathly tired and a little melancholy.

[Direct with very strong intensity] You and I took us a night-promenade, you talked incessantly about some great trip you'd made of Kenya I don't know very well, I didn't listen, I thought only on those two people. When we got home, they sat as we left them at each end of the room, bonfire cum the candles had almost burned down. I saw that Leonardo had cried(,)[;] he made no effort to hide his outrage. Helena masked herself better(,)[;] she spoke to us about all sorts of things in a calm, somewhat indifferent tone. You went to bed cum me received aid Leonardo up the stairs. We stopped outside entry till you shared bedroom, he turned the countenance towards me and looked at me, so said it: "Can you imagine you, that is a butterfly there, hitting the window." When I came down to Helena, she sat upright in her chair, completely calm, where was present not a glimpse of her illness. I forget at the Greek calends her face, mamma, I FORGET at the Greek calends HER FACE. The next day you went to Geneva, four days earlier than we agreed. It was a snowstorm. The flight was Canceled, but you managed to get a seat on the ferry. I drove you to the harbor. Just before boarding, you said in passing: "I have asked Leonardo to stay a little longer, as I see it does Helena good." You smiled cum we embraced each other. Leonardo suddenly became restless and unhappy. He was distracted and rude, sitting in his attic and working. On Easter Sunday morning he was drunk and fell down the stairs, it made him feel better, he took a long walk in the rain, when he came back he was sober. [sic] He approached Helena and said that he had to leave in a few hours, that they would see each other again, and that he wanted to give her the Mozart biography as a souvenir. Then he called Geneva and spoke to you for half an hour. The same night he left on the last flight. At night I was awakened by a terrible noise. It was Helena who cried. I went in to see her. She appealed over how she rated one such horrible aching in the hip and right leg.

She thought that: she none would harden out until the morning, self searched ready on all we had for painkillers means only nothing helped. At 5:00 in the morning, I had to call one ambulance.

CHARLOTTE: So it was my fault Helena got sick.

EVA: I think so.

CHARLOTTE: You mean that Helen's disease -

EVA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

CHARLOTTE: You don't mean you're serious.Eva tiger. Charlotte speechless.

EVA: When she was a year old, you abandoned her. Then you abandoned her and me incessantly. When Helena got seriously ill, you sent her to a chronic home.

CHARLOTTE: It can't be true that you -

EVA: (calm) What can't be true? If you have any rebuttals, let me hear them. Look at me, mom. Look at Helena. There are no excuses, Mom. There is only one truth and one lie. There is no forgiveness.

CHARLOTTE: Consciously, I have never –

EVA: I do not think so.

CHARLOTTE: Then you can't blame me.

EVA: Thou want ever to the should be several exceptions for you. You have established someone sorts rebate-system cum life, but ANY AISLE must you well-being discover that your agreement is one-sided. You must realize that you bear a debt like everyone else.

CHARLOTTE: What guilt?

EVA: I don't know. A debt.

CHARLOTTE: Irreversible?

Eva won't answer.

CHARLOTTE: Can't you come to me? Can't you hold me? I'm so terribly scared. Beloved, may you not forgive me for all I have done wrong. I'll try to change my mind. You will memorize me, VI. will speak to every other, long, plenty. But help me. I can't take it anymore. YOUR HATRED IS SO TERRIBLE. I don't understand. I've been selfish and childish cum anxious. At least touch me, beating me if you want. Oh, dear, help me!Now a cry is heard through the silent house. It's Helena calling out to her mother. Both women hurtle out into the hall, uphill the dark stairs. Eva is the first to arrive, but the sister pushes her aside and reaches for her mother, who presses her head against the sick woman's bosom.

CHARLOTTE: (on the phone) I'm sorry, dear Paul, I'm calling you so early in the morning. I need to speak a little low so that no one can hear. Would you be so kind as to do me a great favor? When you get to your office, you are to send me a telegram demanding that I appear at once in Paris or wherever the hell it is. I can't stand it another day, but it's impossible that travel only I must have a reason. Find away what that preferably, kind Paul, thou are of course as nice on fairytales. Now I have to stop, that will be expensive too. Goodbye, my friend, and thank you for your help.Charlotte sneaks carefully to her room and closes the door. Eva's heard the call.

CHARLOTTE: (on board the train) Paul, it was good of you to come with me [till Brittany]. I don't think I could have taken it alone. I don't know, I had a slight shock I think [up in Bindal]. My daughter Helena was there quite unexpectedly, and sicker than ever, why can't she die. Do you think it's cruel of me to talk like that? You know me pretty well, don't you? I've never let down, never canceled a concert. You can trust me, can't you?

EVA: (single-handed) You have to comfort yourself(,)[;] you can't always count on other human beings shall be available to hand when you're sad. Sooner I guess you almost always have to cry quietly, so no one should hear.

CHARLOTTE: (on board the train) Paul, listen. Don't go to sleep now. The critics always say that I am a generous musician. No one plays Schumann's concerto with a warmer tone. Nor the big Brahm's Sonata. I'm not stingy with myself. Or am I? All these idiotic thoughts that suddenly I'm rushing around in my head. Paul, it's not like you provided holding along with Because you find it hard to disagree.

EVA: (alone) Poor little mamma that plunged neck over the head, so scared she looked and suddenly so old and tired cum the face became so small cum The nose was red with tears. Now sees me she never more, self has intimidated away her.

CHARLOTTE: (on board the train) Paul! You see that little village, the lights are on already in the houses, people are going about doing their evening duties, somebody's preparing dinner, the children are doing their homework. I feel so left out, always longing to go home, but when I get home, I understand that it must be something else I'm longing for.

EVA: (single-handed) Now it's almost dark cum the I'm getting cold. I have to go home and cook dinner for Viktor and Helena. I can't die now. I'm afraid of committing suicide, maybe God wants to use me one day, and then He will release me from my prison. I have to be ready.

CHARLOTTE: (on board the train) You know, Paul, my daughter Helena has beautiful eyes, Clear, clean eyes, she has Joseph's eyes, and when one holds her head, she can attach her eyes. Understand thou how she copes live with her suffering, my life has been right on the whole taken been magnificent, but HERS? (strongly joyful, formal, & inspirational) I have it good, so seems some melancholic see, that may I not deny till, but simultaneously feel That's good, I don't care about any self-awareness, I'll live anyway.

EVA: (is holding back) Do you touch my cheek? Are you whispering in my ear? Are you with me now? We shall never abandon together you and me.

CHARLOTTE: (smiles) You are kind, Paul, what would I do without you. And what would you do without me. Think what a trying time you have with your violinists, how they grumble. And what a hell of a noise they make when they practice.

EVA: The lights are on in Helen's room. Viktor's sitting there talking to her, there He's good. He's good. He tells her that my mother has left.

VIKTOR: Helena, there's something I need to tell you. Charlotte left this morning. We didn't want to arouse you, thou sleeping so deep on your hypnotic cum the night was Certainly a little upsetting. So, as I said, we didn't want to wake you up.Helena says something.

VIKTOR: Your mother says hello to you. She where sorry and nervous, she had grey.Helena says something.

VIKTOR: Eva's out at dusk. She is entirely calm, almost happy(,)[;] I think she thought it was nice that Charlotte went.Helena says something.

VIKTOR: Me vet not, dearest Helena. Eva was so eager before it here the meeting with its mother. She was hoping too much(,)[;] I had not the heart to warn her. That's how it went wrong.Helena says something with large-sized difficulty.

VIKTOR: I understood not what thou Says.Helena is trembling, repeating her question.

VIKTOR: You say you want to - What is it you want?Helena is increasingly upset, saying the same thing.

VIKTOR: Thou must try to speak calmly, dearest Helena, else have me no way to understand.Helena starts screaming. She's shaken off increasingly violent cramps, fractions of sentences between the screams. She bites her lips so they bleed, eyes urgent.

VIKTOR: Eva! Come on, Helena's had a seizure. Hurry up.Helena's screaming all the time; it is becoming increasingly inhuman; she throws herself violently into the chair, it overturns cum she falls on the floor. The body is drawn together, the arms are turned outwards, and white foam and blood running from her mouth. Viktor and Eva try to calm her down and squeeze the medicine between her hard-bitten teeth.

EPILOG

VIKTOR: Sometimes I stand out here and look at my wife without her knowing my presence. She's so tormented(,)[;] the last few nights have been awful(,)[;] she hasn't been able to sleep. She says that she can never forgive herself for chasing her mother away. If only I could talk to her, but it all turns out to be dusty words, empty phrases. I have to stand by and see how she's suffering, without being helpful.

EVA: Are you going away?

VIKTOR: I'm going down to the postal and retrieve a book package.

EVA: Ought you want to good please add this letter at the same time.

VIKTOR: I'd love to. It's for Charlotte!?

EVA: You can read it if you want. I'll go up to Lena for a while.

VIKTOR: (reading) I UNDERSTAND I MADE A MISTAKE WITH YOU. I met you with demands rather than with tenderness. I tormented you with an old, sour hatred that's no longer real. I was wrong all the time and would ask you to forgive me. Helena's insight is much greater than mine. She provided when I demanded. She was close to you when I left. [very strongly skeptical] Suddenly I realized that I was going to take care of you, that all the old things were gone, that I Never above will let you go, self will never above submit you alone. Self knows why not nearly if this letter reaches you, self don't even know if you read it, maybe it's too late. But I hope, NONETHELESS, that my discovery is not in vain. There is still a kind of grace. Self means the tremendous opportunity to get take manage where second; that to help each other, to show affection. You have to understand that I ne'er more will release you or let you disappear from my life(,)[;] I will persist! I will not give up even if it is too late. I don't believe it's too late. It must not be too late.Fårö, Wednesday 27 July 1977

Afterword by Jan Holmberg

In the memoir IMAGES, Ingmar Bergman claims that he wrote AUTUMN SONATA during a few weeks in 1977 as a safety measure in case THE TOUCH, which he had then recorded, flopped. The hell themselves work started him in the AUTUMN SONATA a little over a year earlier. Corrective has been its interest as the story's premise dead safe affected by events at the beginning of the year IN 1976. These events were, in the shortest possible summary, THE TAX AFFAIR. It would wait one and a half years before it cleared of all accusations, but after a first stage victory unto the process wrote it in the workbook the 26 March 1976: "The night behind acquittal time self not could sleep despite soporific come it for me that I would make a movie about mother-daughter, daughter-mother, where I would have Ingrid Bergman and Liv in the two roles and none other than the two. Possibly is there room for a third person."

The fact that the work on AUTUMN SONATA thus begins in direct connection with the tax deal invites the assumption that it is also an effect of the same. There are likely to be connections. A Reason that Ingmar Bergman took the allegations so hard, likes have been his paternalistic view of society. For EXAMPLE, IN THE FACE, THE RITE or FROM THE MARIONETTE'S LIFE, the state, through its authorities and representatives, supervises its citizens with the questionable care of a parent. After the tax affair, the inverse relationship also applies that Bergman's parents take on the guise of something more than just guardians: they become, with the stepfather in FANNY AND ALEXANDER as a clear example, an office. There is no doubt that the mother-daughter agreement in AUTUMN SONATA must indeed be understood as such - but it is also, I believe, an allegory of the unequal relationship between the individual and society.

It is clear that AUTUMN SONATA also has clear autobiographical elements in other ways, even if Bergman has made a tactical gender correction of his main character. Charlotte shares one's artistic trade, diverse neurotic peculiarities cum inadequate parental responsibility with her author. (It is about all probability also one kind of intern joke that her in the film played by Ingrid Bergman, a name close to confusion similar to the author.) In so fashion is AUTUMN SONATA preamble till Ingmar Bergman's autobiographical period, which then characterizes the rest of the writing and soon continues with FANNY AND ALEXANDER (1979). There are only two years between AUTUMN SONATA and FANNY AND ALEXANDER. Both take his initial point of private experience. They are also both born in exile, which is evident in their ambivalent relationship to the return, home, childhood, parents... With all their similarities, however, the two works could not be more different. Composed and stylistically, they are opposites. FANNY AND ALEXANDER portrays its teeming personal gallery with an epic narrative; AUTUMN SONATA is set over a day, in a single house, with only two people in the center and two supporting actors. Style is customized then, cum is fastidious at the verge of self-destruction. As in SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE five years earlier, there are virtually no environmental descriptions, hardly any instructions, only dialog. Even a monolog! In one scene, Bergman Charlotte speaks for herself in a way that hardly went home neither with 1970s Book Reader nor cinema public - unlikely today's either. There is no modernist or Brechtian monolog(,)[;] it is not intended to break a fourth wall. More like it marks a return to the theater's ancient traditions. It's classical drama. As such, it is eminently playable on stage, and after SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE, AUTUMN SONATA is one of Bergman's most frequently played film stories theatre worldwide. It's also incredibly readable. Its supposedly simple form hides a sense of style that only becomes apparent upon reading. Any so sad as punctuation is one including, where it becomes incredibly significant whether a sentence formulated as a question ends with a period or question mark. In AUTUMN SONATA, the punctuation marks are abyss.

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tillerman1 · 2 years ago

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AUTUMN SONATA (word) pt.4

EVA: For you was me a doll, which you played with when you had time. If I got ill or troublesome left you me till the nanny or till pappa. You closed in you and worked and then received none disturb. I stood outside the door and listened. When you took your coffee pause, dared me slip in till you for that see after about you in all fall existed. You were kindly but absent. About me ask you about any received I hardly reply. I sat on the floor and watched away you, you each large and beautiful, space was starved and airy, the awnings each pulled down, outside blew it in the leaf masses, all each wrapped in a fantastic green shimmer. Sometimes might I row you out on the bay, you had a long white low-cut summer dress which displayed your breasts which were so beautiful, you were barefoot and had braided hair in a thick braid, you thought about to look down into the water, it was clear and cold, you could see the large stones there long low at bottom, plants and fishermen, your hair became wet and your hands became wet. [sic] Because you invariably were so delicious, wanted me also be nice. I became pedantically precise with my clothing. Always anxious that you not would like about my look, I thought why that I was so ugly, meager and angular cum great cow-eyes cum big ugly lips and no eyebrows cum eyelashes, the arms were just for long, cum the feet was for large cum the toes just for flat and - no I thought that I looked almost disgusting outward. [sic?]{FILM:I always worried that you didn't like the way I looked. I was so ugly, lean and angular with big cow's eyes, big wide lips and no eyebrows.

My arms were too thin and my feet too big. I thought O looked repulsive.} But you displayed nearly never that you were worried for my appearance, one time said you: I think you should become lad and then laughed you for that me not would become sad. But it became me understood. I cried a week in secret, as you detested tears - others tears. Then suddenly one day stood your suitcases below the stairs cum you spoke on the telephone in extraneous language, I went in of the nursery and begged till God that something would occur which prevented your travel, grandmother would die or so would car earthquake or all flights would get motor jam, but you traveled always, the doors stood open cum it blew by some house cum all spoke in the mouth to each other and so came you forward till me and embraced and kissed me and hugged me and kissed me again and looked at me and smiled at me and you smelled good and foreign cum yourself where you also alien, you were already away road, you looked me not, I thought now stops the heart, now die me, so evil make it, I'm becoming ne'er more glad, it has only gone five minutes, how shall I bear to have such pain for two months and so cry me in papa's knee and papa sat right immobile with his small soft hand on my head, he sat how long as preferably and smoked his old pipe, he surrounded us with smoke, occasionally told it something: Should we go to the pictures tonight or today thinks I how one would taste with ice cream till dinner(.)[?] Yet I bothered myself neither about ice cream nor cinema because I held on to decease.

So went the days and the weeks, father and I shared loneliness real good, we had you not much to tell each other, but it was such calm with him and never that I interfered him, occasionally looked he some concerned outward, I knew not that he had permanent economic difficulty but always when I come clinging wanted it up and then conversed us one while or also patted he me only with his small pale hand or also sat it on the leather sofa with uncle Otto and drink cognac cum both two muttered quietly with each other, I wonder if they heard what they said, or also was uncle Harry there and played chess and then where it as well as extra silent, where heard man three different clocks tick in some house. [Disheartening?] Many days before you would arrive place had I'm temperature at arousal, simultaneously becoming self anxious that I would become sick for real because I knew that you were afraid of sick people. [Informal?] And then when you arrive could I almost not bear my luck and nothing could I say either, so sometimes became you somewhat impatient and said: Eva is determined not particularly glad over how have got her mom home again. Then I became fiery red in the face and right sweaty yet could not say anything, as I none had any words because you had taken care of all order home with us. I loved you, so was enough for life and death, I believe in all fall this, but I discredited your word. I understood instinctively that you nearly never meant what you said. [neutral] You have such fair voice mother, when I was small felt this in all the body, when you spoke till me and often became you annoyed at me, for that I not had heard what you told till me. It was on to self listened till your voice, but it was also on, that I none realized what you said. I understood didn't your words, they tallied not with some expression in your eyes or your tone. The horrible was that you log near thou were evil. As you hated father called you him "my dearest friend," when you were tired of me said you "beloved little young girl." Nothing true.

Tarry presently mother, I must get speak completed, I'm vet that I am somewhat intoxicated only if I none had drunk would I never have said what I have said. Then, when I'm dropping courage and not dare say more or fall silent, because that I'm ashamed for what I'm saying, when can you speak and explain, I shall listen and understand, precise as I ever hast listened and understood. Despite all went it well to be your little barn. There was nothing wrong with how I loved you. You tolerated me then there pretty, as you had your travels. But there is something I ne'er have understood cum it is your relationship till Pappa, I have thought so much about you both the latest time, but your cohabitation is a riddle. [Informative?] Sometimes think I that you were entirely dependent on dad, despite that he was so much weaker than you, in some way showed you one regard towards him, that you never showed towards myself and Helena. You ashamed away Daddy, thou spake about him as were he of grander matter. Still was poor dad only one small mediocrity, kind and modest and inoffensive. How far I understood paid thou dad's liabilities on several occasions. Was that not so?

CHARLOTTE: Yes.

EVA: I think how dad had tiny events, I remember in all fall least three foreign ladies that came home till us and sat in some living room, as you were out on journeys. One of them named sure Maria van Eyck and was your pupil?

CHARLOTTE: Papa had a relationship with Maria. Pretty short and pretty modest.

EVA: Cared you thee not about it there the histories?

CHARLOTTE: No, I could indeed not become evil on papa for his small stories. Further did he god taste. You said that papa was a mediocrity. That is one both cruel and unfair judiciously, that presents that you none knew your Father. Under other considerations had Josef was one of Europe's great architects, but he each just for considerate and just for decent. [neutral?] He received bear fro for his older brother, who not was half as talented and it was an accident that they inherited your grandfather's company commonly. Josef wanted ne'er put till quarrel or assert his opinion. But he had great ideas, he designed till example one concerto house till Copenhagen or was it Oslo, no, it was probably Lyon actually, and all [sic] were agreed about that it was one of the prettiest buildings as created under the thirties, then came the war cum the project expired. Hapless Josef he was unlucky with all he undertook himself. He was videlicet one REAL big man and not whatsoever any mediocrity. You see so skeptical out, Eva. You believe me not?

EVA: What has it for importance? Your words regarding unto your reality, my words valid in mine. Switches we word, are they useless.

CHARLOTTE: You spoke before of my self-deception. I think not you have right. I tell lies never for us myself. The actual relationship was quite scary: I had evil in the back, could not practice properly, my concerts became poor, I lost important commitment. I begin the opine that my life was meaningless. Simultaneously had I badly conscience for you and Josef. I thought it was idiotic to drag me around from City to City, scolded cum ashamed, when I instead could be home at you. You smile ironically. I'm trying speaking truthfulness, self tells only about how I thought, then care self us none about what you think. But one time can you this here be said, then talking we never more about the thing.

EVA: I'm trying (to) understand.

CHARLOTTE: I was in Hamburg, self game Beethoven's one, on is not particularly difficult cum all had gone great. After went I and old Schmiess, you know the conductor - he is dead now, to a local cum at something good, this cultivated we always do. When we dined and drank real long cum self was pleased and relaxed and back pain almost not felt so said Schmiess: Why stays you not home at man cum barn and live a respectable life in lieu for how set you for permanent humiliations? I stared at him and then laughed I'm. Thought you I played so poor unto tonight? No, that thought me not, said he and log (smiled). But I can not let go to think about the eighteenth August 1934. Then were you twenty years and we played Beethoven's one coupled in Linz, will you remember that evening, it was thirty-five gradations warm, the hall was packed, we played like gods, it burned in the orchestra, for the concert went them folk and screamed and stomped and the orchestra gave touche. You had a red right simple summer dress and long hair even till the waist. You were cheerful and unmoved, for your part could we have played the concert five times till same evening, it had been equally funny. ["]Where recall you all that there?["] asked me. I have it written up in my score, Schmiess said. I usually record my great experience.When I comma till the hotel, could I not sleep. [assertive?] At three in the morning called me home till Josef and recounted that I had decided myself: I would stop about the travel, I would stay home with him and you, we would become a correct family. Josef became awful glad. We cried with emotion either two, we spoke for almost two hours. So was that with on the sake. Something deceiving was it in all fall not. Maybe a childish attitude about that life could cause merciful outside roads also for Charlotte Andergast. It was naturally dumb. For a monthly understood I that I was a horrible charge for you and papa, that I longed off home.

After some years calmed I'm me, began grant lessons, spent myself at you cum your upbringing, participated in papa's worries. For the summers dwelled us in a small house out in the archipelago - that recall you well. (Eva nods, smiles without to smile) We were pretty happy, think me. Or was we not it? Thou was not happy?

EVA: (shaking on head) No, I was not happy.

CHARLOTTE: (sighs) You said that you never had it so good.

EVA: I wanted none score you disappoint.

CHARLOTTE: Where see you how it is. (laughing) What did me for error?

EVA: You did none somewhat wrong! As invariably was you magnificent. For us were you horrible. I was fourteen years and of deficiency in better reversed you whole your pent-up energy against me. You had given thee fan away that you had neglected me cum now would you take back the neglect. I defended myself so well I could but had no one opportunity. Till all other loved self you and was entire time utter certain about to you had right and that I was wrong. Vet you what you did? You remarked ne'er on-line, you used rewrites. But every hour of the day come you with your smiles, your small joke, your tender consideration or easy concerned tone. There existed not one detail that none was subject for your loving energy. I was round-shouldered, as I'm grown for quick. You put in motion with gymnastics, naturally did us exercises together, under reference till your proper poor spine. I had pimples, I each you of puberty, where existed immediate a dermatologist who each god friend to the family, he prescribed ointments and tinctures which I must ill of and which did some skin yet redder. You thought that I was also much trouble with my long hair, which you regarded that I mishandled, therefore shortcut you me, it was horrible, I thought I looked grotesque outward. Then the worst of all, you got for you that my teeth had grown wrong cum you saw till that I received braces, I looked not wise outward. You stated for me to I was ample girl and to me not would go in trousers and vest without on dresses that you let sew or stitched yourself without to ask what I thought cum I could not say no, because I none would make you sad. [neutral?] You gave me books to read that I none thought about, as they were just for sophisticated for my sense, I read and read and then would you and I discuss back what I had read.

[very strongly cautionary?] You explained and recounted, I understood not what you spoke about, was only cautious for that you one day would reveal me and my unbounded stupidity. [very strongly formal?] I became being lame, but one thing understood me plain and clearly: there existed not a millimeter of this which indeed was me, which could be loved or even accepted. You were as obsessed cum I became all rescuer, increasingly destroyed. I knew no longer who I was, as I at every moment would care you till law. I became as a clumsy puppet which you those manage, I said what you desired, I did your gestures and movements for to you would like me, I dared not be self myself a single moment, not even when I was alone because I cool disliked that which was my own. It was horrifying, mamma, and I'm shaking still unto all the body when I speak about from those years. It was horrifying harm that would become worse. I understood you not that I hated you because I matter utterly convinced again that we loved each other, cum that you knew everything (the) best. So could I not hate you as hatred became till one insane anxiety. [very intensely informative?] I had a horrible dream, I bet upon nails and pulled great tussles from some hair, I sought cry yet could not - received not forward a sound, I tried shriek - it became merely till suffocate cruelty which intimidated me yet more. One day took thou me in the embrace, sat you beside me on the sofa cum wept lite cum said to you was concerned for my development and that we would speak with a mild doctor about my situation. I understood that you intrinsically meant that I held on to become insane - I felt a sort's melancholy satisfaction before that opportunity. So come me then to a psychiatrist, one old tired uncle at white coat which entire time while we spoke with each other trim a large paper-knife in its mist abdomen.

He began inquiry me about my sexual living yet because I none knew what he spoke about - I had not even had my first menstruation - as became I forced to find with one cum another. I believe he got middling surprised over my sophisticated taste cum my perverted fantasy. Or also seen across he myself and wanted not wound me. He was kind and well-meaning and said that I should think away that my mama loved me and wanted my best however it knew me why already.

CHARLOTTE: Cum so traveled me my way with Martin. So have you never understood?

EVA: I have never intended those words.

CHARLOTTE: But you thought that I deceived.

EVA: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: Have you never any - (bounds herself. pause)Eva quiets. Charlotte quiets.

EVA: Recall you[,] Stefan?

CHARLOTTE: Certainly recall I[,] Stefan! You had never coped yourself with a barn!

EVA: Mamma! I was eighteen years. Stefan was grown, we held of each other, we had managed us -

CHARLOTTE: You had never managed yourself.

EVA: We had managed ourselves, WE WANTED HAVE CHILD, but you, you destroyed our relationship.

CHARLOTTE: That is not true. The is take us fan don't sincerely. I said contrariwise till father, that we must embrace consideration, how we should wait. Understood you not that your Stefan was a fool, a semi-criminal little punk, who all the time cheated you.

EVA: (with hatred) [neutral with very strong intensity] You hated him from first the instant, as you saw that I loved him, that I held on to glide from you, you did everything you could for that wreck our relationship. Simultaneously what you played understanding and trustful.

CHARLOTTE: And baby.

EVA: Stefan became entirely changed when he might out unto that I was with barn.

CHARLOTTE: Your Stefan drank her full, borrowed my car, drove on in the dike cum became indicted for drink-driving, SO was his reaction to your pregnancy.

EVA: (furious) Think you that you know everything? Were you present at Stefans and my deliberation, low you under the bed when we were together, vet you over header what you speak on? Have you ever bothered yourself whether to take out for one another human's thoughts and emotions? Care thou yourself over header taken about any other organic being than you itself?

CHARLOTTE: I have heard the there accusations (a) few times.

EVA: Stefan was not like others(,)[;] he was only much better and far more honest.

CHARLOTTE: It was well because he stole that there small Rembrandt etching and pawned it, it was well because he lied (for)[sic] you about his childhood and upbringing and their tragic family circumstances, it was well because he broke himself in of our country cottage, together with their fine friends and drank up the spirits and they swine down.

EVA: All it there happened AFTERWARDS. Have you forgotten that? [Neutral with very strong intensity] Having you lost that you succeeded have me placed away psychiatric clinic after the abortion and that you police-reported Stefan, near he took it in of the villa for that few talk to you.

CHARLOTTE: If you indeed had wanted you one barn had self never could impose you till abort.

EVA: And what had me to insert opposite? You had brainwashed me from childhood(,)[;] I had always complied with your will(,)[;] I was cautious and uncertain and had needed help and aid.

CHARLOTTE: (anxious) I THOUGHT why how I helped you. I was convinced supposing that abortion was the only solution. I have been convinced about on matter adjacent this while. It is horrible to you gone and carried on this hatred in all annum. Why have you never said any?

EVA: Therefore that you never tuned. Because how you are a notorious escapist, because how you are emotionally invalidated, because how you intrinsically hate us and Helena, because how you are helplessly trapped in you oneself, because how you always are you oneself on the road, because how you have carried me in your cold womb and bumped out me with disgust, because how I beloved you, because how you thought I was disgusting and failed and untalented. [sic] [Neutral with very strong intensity] And you succeeded damage me for life precisely as thou oneself are injured, the all that which is sensitive and delicate gave you thyself to, the all living you came at attempted you suffocate. Thou talking about my hatred. Your hatred was not less. YOUR HATRED WAS NOT LESS. I was small and moldable and loving. You band me, you possess the need of my love, precisely as you had lack from that all other people also shall love you. I'm each unprotected helpless. All happened right in love's name, thou with all the time how you loved me and father and Helena. And you mastered the love's tone and gesture. People which you - People as you are fatal, you ought blocked in and neutralized. A mother and a daughter, that fearful combination of emotion cum confusion and destruction. All is possible cum everything happens in the love's and the care's name. [Assertive with very strong intensity] The mother's damage to inherited by the daughter, the mother's miscalculations shall the daughter apply, mother's accident shall become the daughter's accident, it is as if the umbilical string never became severed. The daughter's accident is the mother's triumph, daughter's pain is the mother's underhanded enjoyment.Helena wakes from Eva's voice. She becomes cautious, intonation and voice position intimidating her. She works herself up from the bed, takes herself over the lofty end cum drifts down to the floor, drags herself forward against the door on elbows and knees, falling on the side, is puffy and trembling.

EVA: We lived on your condition, on your greedy saturate favor. We thought that life would be in that way, a barn is always released, grasps not, is helpless, may not understand, vet not, nobody says anything, there is the dependence, humiliation and then the distance, the insurmountable wall, the children call, nobody responds, nobody comes, grasps you not?[sic]

CHARLOTTE: You have in your terrible hatred made yourself a picture of me, is it true? Think thou self away seriously that it is all the truth?Eva hides the countenance in mercy, shaking away the head.

CHARLOTTE: Coming you recall your grandmother. No, natural none, you were seven years when she died. Grandfather recalls thou better, I believe till and with to you cum he had pretty good co

EVA: I was afraid for Grandma(,)[;] she was thus overwhelming both bodily and spiritually. Grandfather was mild.

CHARLOTTE: Yes. Thus was it for you.

EVA: But not for you.

CHARLOTTE: No, that can man hardly say. Mother and father were prominent mathematicians(,)[;] they were obsessed with its culture and with each other. It was dominant, credulous cum good-natured. We children regarded them with astonished benevolence, only without heat or actual interest. I may not remember that any of them ever concerned over me or my brothers, be it with caress or punishment. At themselves agency was I full ignorant about all, which had of love to do: tenderness, contact, vicinity, warmth. It was only through the music that I received the possibility to show my feelings. Sometimes when I lie awake in the nights wonder I if I over head taken have lived. [sic] What the perfect life you live, Mrs. Andergast, says someone who would be friendly. Imagine that get making people so happy. [Neutral with very strong intensity] And I'm thinking: I'M ALIVE NOT, I HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN, I PRESSED OUT FROM MY MOTHER'S BODY, IT CLOSED ITSELF AND TURNED ITSELF IMMEDIATELY TO FATHER, I EXIST DON'T. Sometimes features me wonder whether it is of like manner for all people or whether some hast greater giftedness for to live than others. If some people never live, wanting only existence?

EVA: How long have you known all this here?

CHARLOTTE: For three years ago was I sick, it knew you maybe didn't, I received some sepsis and low two months in a hospital in Paris. Leonardo put in their concerts and stayed with me all the time. I held on to - yes, me each well nearest dying. Then took it right long time that - I had some sort's depression, or what man shall call it.

EVA: But mamma me had no idea.

CHARLOTTE: There existed no reason to worry you. Well, how which anyway began Leonardo and I speak with each other, as we had such unusually plentiful of time. That would tell, Leonardo spoke. I listened and sought for ken. It was rather difficult till that begin with. I may for all portion be animated, about it required. But themselves soul have I never bothered me if. (sighs) It was like lectures in first-grade cum I was not any expressly excellent disciple. For the most thought self that Leonardo spoke rubbish, while thought self that it was sweet to have him sitting on the bed edge. (smiles) He had an infinite forbearance. Fixed occasionally said he actually that I was a big dumb fool, and that he not could take how I could be a so pass decent musician. (pause) Till finished pocket I some sorts picture of me myself: I HAVE NEVER BEEN VIXEN, MY FACE AND MY BODY AGING, I'M GETTING ME MEMORIES AND EXPERIENCES, BUT INSIDE THOSE WHERE THE OBLIGATIONS IS I'M LIKE UNBORN. (pause) I recall no faces, not even my own. Sometimes tries I remember me[sic] mother's face, I recall it not - that is clear - I realize that she was large and dark and had blue eyes and big[sic] nose and rounded mouth and broad forehead, but I may not get the different pieces to agree, I see her not. [sic] In the same set is it impossible for me to remember your face or Helenas or Leonardos.[sic] (neutral with very strong intensity) I will remember that I bore you and your sister only I recall nothing of the deliveries more than that it did evil - but the pain, how it tasted, recalls me not. (paus) "Reality is an aptitude," said he, "the vast most people missing that aptitude cum it is perhaps lucky." Realize you what he said?

CHARLOTTE: It is indeed awkward.

EVA: Awkward?

CHARLOTTE: I have always been timid for you. (astonished)

EVA: That can I not understand.

CHARLOTTE: (placid surprise) I wanted enough to you might take hand about me, self wanted that you would amuse me in arms and comfort me.

EVA: I was seven a child.

CHARLOTTE: Has it any importance?

EVA: No.

CHARLOTTE: I saw that you loved me cum self would love you, but I could not because I was chary for your demands.

EVA: I had no requirement.

CHARLOTTE: I THOUGHT that you had requirements, which self none could fill. I knew myself awkwardly and invalidated. I wanted none being your mother(,)[;] I wished that you would know that I was as helpless as you, but are poor, are afraid.

EVA: Is that true?

CHARLOTTE: I hear me oneself tell such as I never said. Lies I, play I theatre, tells me true, I vet not, Eva. I vet not. I know me upset and confused. It is maybe Leonardo's death. Maybe Helena's disease. Maybe your horrible hatred. (anxious) Eva, matter kind to me! It allows such evil!

EVA: I vet that it allows evil.

CHARLOTTE: So sees you at me as there.

EVA: That shall I soon tell you.Helena has cum great trouble opened the door and taken herself out in the upper hallway; she has dragged herself up till the stairs, located prostrate in the dark, listening till the two women's deliberation.

CHARLOTTE: You shall say what you intend on.

EVA: I think of Helena and Leonardo.

CHARLOTTE: I understand not.

EVA: Not?

CHARLOTTE: They felt each other scarcely.

EVA: Mamma!

CHARLOTTE: We were together on Bornholm an Easter.

EVA: You traveled your road after three days.

CHARLOTTE: I recall that it rained. I think till and with that it snowed.

EVA: Mamma!

CHARLOTTE: I would play Bartok's first with Ansermet in Geneva. (pause) I was urgent about to arrive there on time. I would go through the concert of peace and tranquility with the old gentleman. So it can happen that I traveled earlier. It was right one horrible weather. (long pause) Leonardo was in poor humor. And you were not so cheerful thou either.

EVA: Mamma!

CHARLOTTE: I vet wouldn't why you would force me to get recall that where idiotic Easter. I understand why off your tone, how I should corrupt for something. You may apologise me but -

EVA: [freindly with very strong intensity; joyful with strong intensity] You and Leonardo came on Thursday(,)[;] we had a lovely night together(,)[;] we played and sang and drank wine and laughed and played some old game when we found through a closet. Helena was with us(,)[;] she was not unwell then(,)[;] she was glad and warm and happy. Leonardo was glad of her delight(,)[;] he talked and joked with her(,)[;] she became immediately enamored(,)[;] they sat together till long in on the night. Neighbor morning told Helena for me in maximum confidence that Leonardo had kissed her. [Neutral with very strong intensity] In the morning scored Leonardo and Helena one outing with the car, it was on Good Friday, it was mild and still, a correct spring day, that you have forgotten it, mum? When they came home from their outing[,] where they cheer (up) and tan, you sat on the telephone; you had telephoned all morning. When they came in of the tambourine cum Leonardo sat down Helena on a stool, interrupted thou your telephone call cum said: "Thank now Leonardo correct very for that him it was so kind to you." Helena laughed and said: "Mom speaking till me as were me eight years. Are so not concerning." Then said you with an entirely alternative tone: "It is nice that you none have lost your mind for comedy." Late continued you your telephone deliberation which about nothing had happened. Away the afternoon did Leonardo the forage up a book from his bag. It was a Mozart biography(,)[;] he read loudly for Helena(,) and they looked together at the pictures. You practiced your Bartok concert for several hours. At the fourth time come you out till me in the kitchen for how cook your tea. You said: "Have you seen off Helena! Are so not concerning." We had guests till dinner. Leonardo became intoxicated and played everyone Bach's solo suites(,)[;] he was one completely different, as like enlarged, heavy and mild cum awful drunk, he played poorly but beautifully.

Helena thickset where in the dusk and shone, I have never seen any such. The guests departed, dead-tired and something melancholy. [Neutral with very strong intensity]You and I brought us a night-promenade, you talked uninterrupted about some fantastic travel you had done in Kenya, self vet not so precise, I heard not of, I thought only of them there wash the people. When we came home, sat they which we left them at each end of the room, the bonfire cum the lights had almost burned down. I saw that Leonardo had cried(,)[;] he made no minimal effort to hide his emotion. Helena masked herself better(,)[;] she spoke with us about everything possible in calm, somewhat indifferent tones. You passed till bed cum self got help Leonardo up for the steps. [assertive with very strong intensity] We stopped outside entry till you shared bedroom, he turned the countenance towards me and looked at me, so said it: "Can you imagine you, there is a butterfly there, which beats against the window." When I came down till Helena, that her upright on her stool completely calm, there existed not a glimpse of her disease. I forget at the Greek calends her face, mamma, I FORGET at the Greek calends HER FACE. Neighbor day traveled you till Geneva, four days earlier than we came agreement. She where snow storm. The flight where suspended harm you managed may a place on the ferry. I drove thee till the port. Just before you went aboard, said you in passing: "I have asked Leonardo a stop some longer, as I see that it does Helena good." You smiled cum we embraced each other. Leonardo became suddenly restless and unhappy. He was abstracted and rude, sat in his attic cum worked. On Easter Sunday tomorrow pus he besotted and fell on the stairs, the did him away better humor(,)[;] he grabbed one long promenade a wet, near he came return was he sober. He passed advance till Helena and told, how he must travel about some hours, that they would see back cum that he would provide her Mozart the biography which memory.

Then called him till Geneva and talked to you for a half-hour. Similar tonight went it to finally a flight. Away the night awoke me of one horrible sound. It was Helena who cried. I walked in till she. She appealed over how she rated one such horrible aching in the hip and right leg. She thought that her none would set out till the morning, self searched ready on all we had of painkiller means only nothing helped. The clock five in some morning every me forced to dial for the ambulance.

CHARLOTTE: So it was middle wrong that Helena became ill.

EVA: I believe it.

CHARLOTTE: You mean thus that: Helenas disease -

EVA: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: You mean not that: you on seriously -Eva tiger. Charlotte dumbfounded.

EVA: When she was one year abandoned thou her. Late abandoned you it and me uninterrupted. Near Helena became ill on seriousness sent you her till one chronic home.

CHARLOTTE: It mayst none good true that you -

EVA: (calm) That is it as can none be true. Have you some rebuttal, so let me hear them. Look at me, mamma. Look at Helena. There are no excuses, mamma. There is only one truth and one lie. There is no forgiveness.

CHARLOTTE: Consciously have I never –

EVA: So believe I don't.

CHARLOTTE: Then mayst you none either give me the debt.

EVA: Thou want ever to the will be several exceptions for you. You have established someone sorts rebate-system cum life, but ANY AISLE must you well-being discover that your agreement is narrow-minded. Thou must find, that: you berry on a debt, you which all other.

CHARLOTTE: What then for debt?

EVA: I vet not. A debt.

CHARLOTTE: Irrevocable?

Eva answers not.

CHARLOTTE: Can you not come till me. May you not amuse supposing me. Self is so awful cautious. Beloved, may you not forgive me for all I have done wrong. I will try changing myself. You will memorize me, we will speak with each second, long, very. But help me. Me Coping no longer, YOUR HAT IS SO AWFUL. I have none understood(,)[;] I have been selfish and childish cum nervous. Pipes at me leastways, strike me if thou wants. Dear you, help me!Now sound the call through the muzzle house. It is Helena who shouts at her mother. Both the women hurry out in the hall, behave the dark the stair. Eva is first in, but the sister bumps away her and reaches one after her mother when pressing her head against the sick woman's bosom.

CHARLOTTE: (on the telephone) Sorry, dear Paul, how I telephone you so early in the morning. I must speak a little low so that none will consult. Wants thou last kind that act me a great favor. Near you will till your office, to you emit me one telegram where you demand that I immediately present myself in Paris or was damn which ideally. I account not out here a day till, but it is impossible that only travel, I must have one reason. Find away what that preferably, kind Paul, thou are of course as nice on fairytales. Now must me rally round, it becomes costly also. Goodbye look fancier, and thanks for the help.Charlotte sneaks gently till one's hold and bars the door. Eva has unnoticed heartfelt the conversation.

CHARLOTTE: (on the train) Paul, it was good of you to come with me [till Brittany]. I don't think I could have taken it alone. I don't know, I had a slight shock I think [up in Bindal]. My daughter Helena was there quite unexpectedly, and sicker than ever, why can't she die. Do you think it's cruel of me to talk like that? You feel me quite well-being, that do you right? I have never betrayed, have never given rebid till a concert. You may trust in me, none true?

EVA: (single-handed) Man must console one himself(,)[;] man can none even count on that other people will exist till hands as man is sorry. Sooner is it well so that man almost always must cry mum, so that none will consult.

CHARLOTTE: (on the train) Paul, listen. Don't go to sleep now. The critics always say that I am a generous musician. No one plays Schumann's concerto with a warmer tone. Nor the big Brahm's Sonata. I'm not stingy with myself. Or am I? All those idiotic tanks that suddenly dash around in middle central. Paul, it is well not so that you only agree with me for that you think it is awkward that say against.

EVA: (alone) Poor little mamma that toppled in way neck over central, so cautious she saw out cum suddenly so old and tired cum the face became so small cum nose was red with tears. Now sees me she never more, self has intimidated away her.

CHARLOTTE: (on a train) Paul! You see that little village, the lights are on already in the houses, people are going about doing their evening duties, somebody's preparing dinner, the children are doing their homework. I feel myself so outside, yearning always home, but when self comes home, sees I'm why how it must be someone else self yearning after.

EVA: (single-handed) Presently are he soon dark cum it starts car cold, I must walk home and repair dinner at Viktor cum Helena. I may not die now. Self is chary for that commit suicide, maybe wants God a day use me, and then resolves him myself from my prison. I must be ready.

CHARLOTTE: (on the train) [very strongly formal and strongly admiring] Vet thou Paul, my daughter Helena has beautiful eyes, entirely bright, clean glances, she has Josef's eyes, and since man holds her about the head may she attach the glance. Understand thou how she copes live with her suffering, my life has been right on the whole taken been magnificent, but HERS? [very strongly formal] I have it good, so seems some melancholic see, that may I not deny till, but simultaneously feels it good, I bother me not about any self-insight, I may live nevertheless.

EVA: (stops herself) Pipes you at min cheek? Whispers you at middle ear? Are you with me now? We shall never abandon together you and me.

CHARLOTTE: (smiles) You are kind you, Paul, what would I do without you. And what would you do without me. Think what a trying time you have with your violinists, how they grumble. And what a hell of a noise they make when they practice.

EVA: It glows in Helena's room. Viktor sitter there cum speaking with her, he is good, he is kind, it tells if for her that mum features rest.

VIKTOR: Helena, it is a thing I must speak about for you. We wanted none awake you, thou sleeping so deep on your soporific cum the night was given some shocking. So we wanted, which said, not awake you. Helena says any.

VIKTOR: Your mother greetings till you. She where sorry and nervous, she had grey.Helena says any.

VIKTOR: Eva is outside and goes in the dusk. She is entirely calm, almost glad(,)[;] I believe she thought it was reassuring that Charlotte went.Helena says any.

VIKTOR: I don't know, Helena. Eva was so eager for this meeting with her mother. She hoped entirely for much(,)[;] I had no heart to alert her. So went this crazy.Helena says something with large-sized difficulty.

VIKTOR: I understood not what thou Says. Helena shivers, repeating its question.

VIKTOR: You say that you want - What is it you want?Helena increasingly revolted, saying like cause.

VIKTOR: Thou need endeavor talk calmly, dearest Helena, else have I none possibility to understand.Helena initiates vociferate. She shakes with all fiercer cramps, fragment by phrases heard between the clamor. Her biter on the lips so that they Bleed, the eyes urgent.

VIKTOR: Eva! Come forthright, Helena has received one offensive. Hurry you.Helena screams anything applicable(,)[;] she gets increasingly inhuman(,)[;] she throws herself violently into the chair, it overturns cum she falls to the floor. The body draws conjunction, the arms turned outward, white foam and blood running from her mouth. Viktor and Eva try unsuccessfully calming her and pressing (in) the medicine between her tightly clenched teeth.

EPILOG

VIKTOR: Sometimes stands self out here and looks at my wife without how her vet about my presence. She is so plagued, them last nights have been awful(,)[;] she has not been (able to) sleep. She says that she never can forgive herself self that she chased away her mother. If I nevertheless could talk to her, only everything makes only dusty words, empty phrases. I must stand next and see how she suffers, without to being till help.

EVA: Shall you away?

VIKTOR: I shall downhill till the post and get a book package.

EVA: Ought you will be kind to add away this here letter at like time.

VIKTOR: Please. It is till Charlotte!?

EVA: You may willingly read it if you want. I go up till Lena a while.

VIKTOR: (reading) I HAVE GRASPED THAT I DID WRONG TO YOU. I met you with demands in the place for with tenderness. I tormented you with an old soured hatred that no longer is fair. I did wrong all the time cum would be thou to forgive me. Helena's insight is much greater than mine. She gave, near I demanded. She where intimate thee, when I removed me. [very strongly informative] Suddenly concept I how I would treat hand for you, that all the old were gone, that I never above comes to release you, I refer never more leave you alone. I vet why not whatsoever if this round letter reaches you, self vet not even if you read it, maybe are all already for {too} late. But I hope DESPITE ALL that my discovery not shall be futile. The available still one kind grace. I mean the incredible possibility that few take hand about each other, that few help each other, that few reappear tenderness. You must understand that I'm never above going that drop thyself, or let you disappear from my life, I will insist! I'm giving myself none also if it might endure for late. Self believes not that it is too late. It may none good for late.Fårö, Wednesday the 27 July 1977

Afterword by Jan Holmberg

Unto the memoir book IMAGES claims Ingmar Bergman that he wrote AUTUMN SONATA under any weeks 1977 that a security action if THE TOUCH, which he then had played in, would flop. Into themselves work the begin him on AUTUMN SONATA one roughly twelvemonth earlier. Corrective features its interest because the story premise just sure was affected by incidents over the start of the year 1976. These events were, in the Truncated possible summary, THE TAX AFFAIR. It would wait one and a half years before it cleared of all accusations, but after a first stage victory unto the process wrote it in the workbook the 26 March 1976: "The Night after acquittal when I not could sleep despite soporific come it for me that I would make a film on mother-daughter, daughter-mother, where I would have Ingrid Bergman and Liv in they two the roles and none other than they two. Possibly is there room for a third person."

That the work with AUTUMN SONATA thus begins in direct accession till the treasure affair, invites till presumably that it too is an effect of the same. Pertinence can divine. One ground till how Ingmar Bergman took the accusations so hard, likes have been his paternalistic social outlook. Unto instance-wisely THE FACE, THE RITE[,] or FROM THE MARIONETTE'S LIFE controls the State via its authorities and representatives their citizens with them questionable the cares of a parent. After the tax affair applicable also there inverse the circumstances to folks of Bergman may appearance of something more than just guardians: they become, with the stepfather of FANNY AND ALEXANDER which plainly example, an office. This is admittedly no doubt supposing that the agreement between mother and daughter in AUTUMN SONATA really must be understood as precisely* such - but it is additionally, thinks me, an allegory over the unequal relationship between the individual and society. It is clear that AUTUMN SONATA also of another way features clear autobiographical elements, even if Bergman has made a tactical gender correction of his protagonist. Charlotte shares one's artistic trade, diverse neurotic peculiarities cum inadequate parental responsibility with her author. (That is about all probability well one kind intern joke that she of the film played by Ingrid Bergman, a name adjacent confusion like the Authors.) På så sätt är AUTUMN SONATA inledningen till Ingmar Bergmans självbiografiska period, som sedan präglar resten av författarskapet och strax fortsätter med FANNY AND ALEXANDER (1979). It divides only two years between AUTUMN SONATA and FANNY AND ALEXANDER. Both take his initial point of private experience. They are additionally either two added in exile, which marks away their ambivalent relation till the return, home, childhood, the parents... … With all their convergences could those two works nevertheless not good more different. Compositional cum stylistic is they join contrasts. FANNY AND ALEXANDER portrays its teeming person-gallery with one epic storytelling; AUTUMN SONATA unfolds under a day, in one only house, with only two people at focus and two bi-roles-holders. The style is tailored then, cum is sparingly on the boundary till self-effacement. As in SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE five years earlier, such exists in largely seen no environmental descriptions, hardly any instructions, only dialog. Till and with monologue! For a scene allows Bergman Charlotte talking for one itself in a way which hardly went home neither with 1970s book readers nor cinema public - unlikely today either. It exists videlicet nothing modernist or Brechtian in the monolog(,)[;] it is not imagined to break any fourth wall. Sooner marks the grip one recession till the theater's ancient traditions. It is classic dramatics. As such is the eminent playable away stage, and after SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE is AUTUMN SONATA he of Bergman's film stories which usually plays in theatre the scene over. It is also incredibly legible. Its pretended simple form hides a style awareness as going till seems first at the reading. Something so seemingly dull as punctuation is one example, as it becomes incredibly significant whether a sentence formulated as a question ends cum period or question sign. Of AUTUMN SONATA is the punctuation abyss.

The original script has "just" but altered here to "precisely" for tone delivery.

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tillerman1 · 2 years ago

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AUTUMN SONATA (word) pt.3

EVA: But mamma then, what is it which has happened. I heard you call and when I came in( )to your room were you not there.

CHARLOTTE: I am sorry about me woke you only I had one such objectionable dream. Me dreamt to -

EVA: Yes?

CHARLOTTE: No, I will not remember what it was.

EVA: I'm holding yourself willing company if you would speak.

CHARLOTTE: No thanks, dear you. I sitter only a while and fetching me. Go and bed yourself you.

EVA: Then do I well that.

CHARLOTTE: Eva!

EVA: Yes, mamma!

CHARLOTTE: Thou thinks well about me?

EVA: Indeed sure. You are why my mother.

CHARLOTTE: That was no sincere reply.

EVA: Then want I reply with a counter-question. Thinks you about me?

CHARLOTTE: I love you.

EVA: That is not true. (smiles)

CHARLOTTE: You accuse me for lacking love. [sic]Eva responds not, looks at her.

CHARLOTTE: Realize you not it unreasonable in one such accusation?

EVA: (looks at her) It was no accusation.

CHARLOTTE: Accuse thou yourself self for inadequate eroticism towards Viktor?

EVA: I have said to Viktor that I don't love him. Thou plays love. There is inequality.

CHARLOTTE: And about me was in good faith?

EVA: Now understand me not what you mean.

CHARLOTTE: About I properly been sincerely convinced about to self beloved you and Helena.

EVA: That is not possible.

CHARLOTTE: Remember you when I interrupted my career and decided me for that be home?

EVA: I vet not which as where worst: the time you were in for to play wife and mother or the time you were on tour. Detriment you above I will for the sake you more understand I to you did one hell for us, both dad and me.

CHARLOTTE: You vet nothing about pappa's and my relationship.

EVA: Pappa was as pictures and equal compliant as I and all second.

CHARLOTTE: It is none true. Pappa and I were happy together. Josef was the world's fine-these, tastiest and dearest man. He loved me cum me could have done what that preferably for him.

EVA: Yes. You fraud him.

CHARLOTTE: I fraud him not. I became dear in Martin and traveled away with him in eight months. Think you the time was any dance on roses?

EVA: It was of any fall me, who got perch with dad in the evenings cum it was I who got comfort him cum it was I that all the time compulsion's repeat that you probably despite all loved him and that you right certainly would come back, it was I who got read up from epistle. Your long, tender, loving, funny, humorous mail where you told selected topics of your interested travel. We sat there as stupid idiots and read your letter two times, three times and thought that a more wonderful person than you existed not.

CHARLOTTE: (placid, astonished) Eva, thou hates me.

EVA: I vet not. Self is so confused. Sudden will you hit after seven years cum I rejoice myself at that you shall come. I vet not what I imagined myself. Perchance imagined I that you were alone and sorry. I vet not. I believed maybe that I was the full adult, that I looked clearly at you and of myself self and at Helenas disease and on our childhood. Now understand me that all is one great chaos. (pause) Good night[,] mamma. There is no idea to speak about the past. It makes entire for evil and additionally is it meaningless.

CHARLOTTE: You cast from you a quantity accusations and then goes you!

EVA: Since it[,] in any case[,] is for sent [too late].

CHARLOTTE: What is it that is for sent too late[?]

EVA: Nothing can alter.Now audible by the quiet a complaining drawn-out tone, hardly humane. Charlotte looks horrified at her daughter. Eva says: "It is Helena who has woken(,)[;] I'm going up till (to) her a little while and see if she needs anything." She hurries through the dark house, detects the way, requires no light, out some window stands moonlight immobile. It is right still, no wind, no bird. Eva opens careful the door to Helena's room. Some complaining sound ends almost immediately. She teeth the table lamp. Helena sitter [sits] high embedded on the screen-equipped bed, she jerks in the neck and shoulder cum she biter[s] on the lips. The eyes are tightly closed, she sleeps. Eva awakens her careful. Slow opening her eyes, slowly familiar her back her reality, she tries saying something but refrains almost immediately. Eva asks her if she is thirsty; she declines, closes the eye. Sleeps immediately. [sic] The twitching decreases, the face becomes calm. Eva sits with her, looks at her. Extinguishes the lamp. Views at her.

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tillerman1 · 2 years ago

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AUTUMN SONATA (word) pt.1

CHARLOTTE: I will (be) horrified when I hear her reason. It is so overstretched - so beyond all sense. And so this obviousness! She's hanging out with your little boy; she has solved the world's riddle; there are answers to all the questions.

VIKTOR: (smiles) Yes, yes.

CHARLOTTE: You can't let her walk around like that.

VIKTOR: What do you mean?

CHARLOTTE: I think she is really terribly unhappy. And that she suddenly one day realizes how bad it is and then she does something crazy.

VIKTOR: Think you really do?

CHARLOTTE: Yes, I do believe so.

VIKTOR: Is she up with Lena?

CHARLOTTE: She was gonna make her ready for the night.

VIKTOR: Fashion you now down there a moment, dear Charlotte, and associated with, I'll try to explain how I see my wife.

CHARLOTTE: Yes, now I'm sitting?

VIKTOR: When I asked Eva to marry me, she immediately said that she did not love me. I asked if she loved anyone else. She replied that she had never loved any human being, that she was incapable of loving. (pause) Eva and I lived here for several years, we were kind towards each other, worked much, traveled abroad on my holidays, then born Erik. We had already given up hope to have a child of our own and talked a lot about us adopting - (pause) Thus. With her pregnancy, Eva underwent a complete change. She was glad, soft and outward. She became lazy, ignored parish work and her piano play. She could sit in that chair with her legs on another chair and look at the way of light over the mountain and fjord. We were suddenly overmuch happy - you apologize if I say so - we were much successful in bed indeed. I am twenty years older yet Eva, I'm liked enough that it had started lead as a gray film over existence, about thou understand what I mean. I liked that I could see myself round and say, so, yes, this here was then life, so here would it become. But then everything was different, there were some incredible - (pause) There were some incredible – (paus) You can forgive me, Charlotte, but it's still a little hard to (pause) Yes. It was a few years that were very rich. You should have seen Eva. You really should have seen her.

CHARLOTTE: I remember those years around Erik's birth. Just then, I recorded all the Mozart sonatas and piano concertos. I did not have a single day off.

VIKTOR: No, just that. We invited you again and again, but sadly you never had time.

CHARLOTTE: No.

VIKTOR: When Erik drowned, the gray film became even grayer. For Eva matter that thus different.

CHARLOTTE: Differently? How, differently?

VIKTOR: Her feeling lives unadulterated, at least it seems so. She has become thin and angular and is more unbalanced in her mood - she can, for example, have huge outbursts of anger. But I think not that she is overstressed or strange. And senses her that her son lives in her vicinity so is it perhaps in some way. She speaks not often about it(,)[;] she is properly cautious that it should make me ill - and it does that enough. But this it says sounds true. I believe her.

CHARLOTTE: Yes. You are the priest.

VIKTOR: The little faith I have, living on her terms.

CHARLOTTE: Sorry if I injured you.

VIKTOR: It does nothing, Charlotte. I am till unlike from you and Eva a diffuse and uncertain human.[sic] I may blame us myself.

CHARLOTTE: Think you not that I shall party on a few hefty hypnotics at night. Yes, that thinks me indeed. This is so calm and still, only some rain which murmurs some good against some ceiling. Two mogadone and two valium usually be right.

EVA: Hast you all you need?

CHARLOTTE: It is so excellent. Correct type biscuits and mineral water and a band player and cassettes and two detective novels and earplugs and blindfold and extra cushion and my little travel blanket. Would you taste to my good Swiss chocolate, fresh from Zurich. [sic] Please, you may take two bits.

EVA: Thank good mamma, yet I am not so delighted with chocolate.

CHARLOTTE: So that was weird. I would reminisce that you were mad over sweets which barn.

EVA: Helena thought about sweets. Not me.

CHARLOTTE: The preferable, sow hast me my chocolate for me itself.

EVA: Good night where, mother small.

CHARLOTTE: Good night, my kid, and thanks for tonight. Viktor is really a charming person. It must you be cautious of. [sic?]

EVA: It is me also.

CHARLOTTE: Are you happy together? Hast you-all the good?

EVA: (patient) Momma little. Viktor is my best friend. I vet not how life would see out if I none had it.[sic?]

CHARLOTTE: He said to you none beloved him.

EVA: Has he said that?

CHARLOTTE: Yes given. Why?

EVA: Somewhat surprising only.

CHARLOTTE: Was it a secret?

EVA: No.

CHARLOTTE: But you find none about how he said it.

EVA: Viktor usually doesn't precisely entrust himself.

CHARLOTTE: We spoke about you.

EVA: Want you ken anything can you ask me directly. [sic?] I pledge to be as sincere I can. [sic?]

CHARLOTTE: Dear barn {child}, now may you really not do anything remarkable with it here. That is not particularly affected, how an antique mother is curious about how her daughter has it. We talked about you with the greatest tenderness, so may I affirm.

EVA: If I could understand why you don't can [sic?] let people be alone.

CHARLOTTE: I think that I have let you be alone entirely for (a) long (time).

EVA: (smiles) It can you actually have right in.

CHARLOTTE: Now should we not speak about so this sad feeling. [sic?] Then sleep me not at night either with the soporific.

EVA: We can talk some other time.

CHARLOTTE: Just that. Yield me a hug and luff how thou none is evil to your old mamma.

EVA: I pledge.

CHARLOTTE: Self love you understand thou.

EVA: (mild) I love you too.

CHARLOTTE: It is not so damn fun to be desolate always shall [sic?] I talk about[sic?] for you. I'm becoming quite simply jealous of you and Viktor.

EVA: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: Now that Leonardo is insensate as is[,] I'm so damn lonely. Can you understand it?

EVA: Yes, it comprehends me.

CHARLOTTE: No. No. No. Now begins self quickly weeping of self-pity cum we did the certain how there not would be any emotion through tonight. [sic?] That this detective novel is actually not so poor. This is a new author, Adam Kretzinsky. Have you consulted mentions about him?

EVA: No.

CHARLOTTE: I hit him in Madrid. He was crazy. I could barely defend myself. It would say I defended us none whatsoever. Good night, little Eva.

EVA: Good night, mother.

CHARLOTTE: He admired me as one crazed and said that I was the prettiest woman in his life. What makes man at such? [sic]

EVA: You say till once you would carry breakfast.

CHARLOTTE: No trouble for me.

EVA: But I want seven mar off you.

CHARLOTTE: Supposing you absolutely insist.

EVA: Strong coffee, warm milk, two slices [of] darkened German bread with Jarlsberg cheese, [and] a slice [of] white toasted bread with honey. Is it not so?

CHARLOTTE: And so a platen pressed orange lemonade.

EVA: Imagine it held me away to forget.

CHARLOTTE: I mayst really …

EVA: You shall get your juice. Good night, mamma!

CHARLOTTE: Good night, darling.

CHARLOTTE: (alone) I believe I shall look some in my bookkeeping. (takes out a red notebook) I must not forget to let Brammer place the money for Leonardo. The house is also worth quite much; you cared you never about such as assets and liabilities; you were high over earthly concerns; you left any problem till Charlotte.[sic] "You[,] Charlotte[,] who is so wise with money, you Charlotte are my finance minister." A time when you were enraged at us said you how I was greedy. Am I close-fisted perchance. Careful with money understood. Grandfather's farmer bloody and bond sense. 3,735,866 francs. Think that you had so much money, Leonardo. Who could believe it? And all bequests you till your former Charlotte? I have why also a little money. Together become that over five million. What should I of so much money(.)[?] I shall buy a genial car at Viktor and Eva. They can none go about with that there old cart, which stood down at the courtyard. It appears dangerous. On Monday travel us in till town and look at a car. It will that brighten up them. And me too. (yawn) Now begin me sense me calm and sleepy. I shall read something in Adam's book cum then shall I slacken. Here is sure noiseless. The rain has expired. Well. (reads) "She handed him her virgin red blossom with mute dignity(,)[;] he took towards it without enthusiasm despite that he all morning fused her small hard breasts and the powerful bright pubes-hairs which stood up above the bikini waistline." God[,] such rubbish! He was intrinsically a correct idiot the there Adam despite that he almost took some life of himself for my sake. (smiles) If me oneself would buy a new car and provide Eva and Viktor the Mercedes. In may me fly back till Paris and so may me buy automobile where so escape me rerun entire long road. (yawns) For tomorrow shall I set running on sharp with Ravel, divinity what I have careless the last weeks, fully simply unpardonable. (snooze) He is a sad person, Viktor, eerily like Josef, fast insignificant. They bore well out each other, see!The door opens. Charlotte becomes very cautious. Short comes Helena rushing in on the room, throws herself over the mother, she is heavy cum stark. After a short fight awakes Charlotte.

EVA: But mamma then, what is it which has happened. I heard you call and when I came in( )to your room were you not there.

CHARLOTTE: I am sorry about me woke you only I had one such objectionable dream. Me dreamt to -

EVA: Yes?

CHARLOTTE: No, I will not remember what it was.

EVA: I'm holding yourself willing company if you would speak.

CHARLOTTE: No thanks, dear you. I sitter only a while and fetching me. Go and bed yourself you.

EVA: Then do I well that.

CHARLOTTE: Eva!

EVA: Yes, mamma!

CHARLOTTE: Thou thinks well about me?

EVA: Indeed sure. You are why my mother.

CHARLOTTE: That was no sincere reply.

EVA: Then want I reply with a counter-question. Thinks you about me?

CHARLOTTE: I love you.

EVA: That is not true. (smiles)

CHARLOTTE: You accuse me for lacking love. [sic]Eva responds not, looks at her.

CHARLOTTE: Realize you not it unreasonable in one such accusation?

EVA: (looks at her) It was no accusation.

CHARLOTTE: Accuse thou yourself self for inadequate eroticism towards Viktor?

EVA: I have said to Viktor that I don't love him. Thou plays love. There is inequality.

CHARLOTTE: And about me was in good faith?

EVA: Now understand me not what you mean.

CHARLOTTE: About I properly been sincerely convinced about to self beloved you and Helena.

EVA: That is not possible.

CHARLOTTE: Remember you when I interrupted my career and decided me for that be home?

CHARLOTTE: You vet nothing about pappa's and my relationship.

EVA: Pappa was as pictures and equal compliant as I and all second.

CHARLOTTE: It is none true. Pappa and I were happy together. Josef was the world's fine-these, tastiest and dearest man. He loved me cum me could have done what that preferably for him.

EVA: Yes. You fraud him.

CHARLOTTE: I fraud him not. I became dear in Martin and traveled away with him in eight months. Think you the time was any dance on roses?

CHARLOTTE: (placid, astonished) Eva, thou hates me.

CHARLOTTE: You cast from you a quantity accusations and then goes you!

EVA: Since it[,] in any case[,] is for sent [too late].

CHARLOTTE: What is it that is for sent too late[?]

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tillerman1 · 2 years ago

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AUTUMN SONATA (word) pt.1

Autumn Sonata

a screenplay by Ingmar Bergman

translated to the word by Thomas Jester

PROLOGUE

VIKTOR: Occasionally stands I and look at my wife, without that she knows about my presence. She loves to sit there gone off corner window, just now think I that she writes a letter to her mother. Initial the time she came in at this here room said she: "This is good, here want I exist." We had only known each other some days, it was a bishops conference in Trondheim cum she was there as deputy for some church newspaper. We met at a lunch cum I told of the parsonage here out. She was so interested, I've dared propose that we should travel here one morning, as the conference was out. On the way inquired I her if she wanted (to) marry herself with me. She responded not, but when we step in of it here room turned her to against me and said: this is good, here wants I exist. Later its have we lived one good and still living here in the parsonage. Eva has naturally told for (sic-of) me about her earlier life. After the student exam read her at the university; engaged herself with a doctor and lived with him under several years, wrote two small books, became ill with tuberculosis, broke the engagement and moved from Oslo till one small town in southern Norway, where she started work as journalist.[sic] (looking in one small book) So here is the first of her books, I think so much of it. There has she written: "Man must learn himself to live, I exercise myself every day. The severe hurdle is that I don't know who I am, I grope blindly. If any love me as I am, dare I perhaps finally view me myself." (ends read) I would some only time want talk of for her that she is beloved without reservation, but I can none say it in one such way that she believes me, I lack the correct words.

EVA: I have written mail till mamma! May I read up it for you, or interfere I?

VIKTOR: No, nope come in and strike yourself down. We light the lamp. Now notice man indeed that it has been fall in earnest. Wait, I will just shut off the radio, it is an afternoon concert.

EVA: If you want wench out at the concert, mayst I after come back later.

VIKTOR: I want very freely that you read up some mail.

EVA: (reads) I was in town yesterday cum met by one event Agnes, who was in temporarily stay at her parents with man and children. She told how Leonardo had died. Dearest small Mamma! I understand probably how terrible this must feel for you. Agnes told too that you found yourself in Ascona on occasional vacation between two concert tours. I rang Paul and got track of the address. (pause) Presently wonder me if you would get lust to come here till us in Bindal for some days or weeks, precisely as you self want and can. For that thou not should be too frightened and immediately say no, must I say whether that the parsonage is very spacious. You have your private rooms, completely secluded cum all comforts. Here is already autumn, we have had some frosts, birches are yellow and reddish, we pick the last cloudberry of the mire. But storms delayed and yet remains many done mild days. We have a fine grand and you can practice as much you have lust. Would that not be good to avoid house on hotel any weeks? Dearest Mamma, say that you will! We will potter about you and spoil away you in all imaginable ways. It was why so awfully long since we observed. In October is one seven years! Dearest greetings from Viktor and your daughter Eva. [sic]

(Charlotte arrives earlier than expected.[sic] The clock is eleven in the morning when she queues up before the rectory's yellow range. Eva is right on the stairs between the floors. Through the window she sees, herself unseen, how the mother slowly gets out of the car, how she stops indecisively at the boot. A moment of immobility.)

EVA: (in the yard) Dear little mom, welcome. So funny that you're here, I almost don't think it's true. Now you stay long, don't you? God saw heavy bags. Do you have all your notes with you? How I'm pleased myself, now provides you me some lessons, that make you well! Mom little, what you look tired. But of course, the car trip was long understood. Viktor is not at home at the moment, we thought not you would come so early.

CHARLOTTE: I sat with Leonardo for the last 24 hours. He had severe pain, despite receiving syringes every two hours. Sometimes he wept, but he was not afraid of death, just crying because it hurt. The day went on and on was evening. Outward they were in the hospital doing construction work, they drilled and hammered and slammed, the sun fried, there were no blinds or awnings. Poor Leonardo, he was so embarrassed (be)for(e) that he smelled bad. We tried getting one other place only several departments were closed for repairs. On night silent alarm from the building place cum when the sun gut down could I uncap window. The heat was like a wall outside, right windless. The Professor came, he is an old friend till Leonardo. He sat in on the chair fore the pillow and said, that now was it not far left, that he would get a shot in a half-hour so that he would to sleep without pain. The professor patted Leonardo on the cheek and said, that he would go to a Brahms concert in the evening, but that he would look in after the concert. Leonardo inquired what they would play cum then the Professor spoke about how they would play the double concerto with Schneiderhan cum Starker asked Leonardo, that he would greet Janos that he wanted yield him his Coltermann-cello, that he long had thought of them. So went the professor cum a departmental nurse came in and gave Leonardo a shot. She thought that I should eat something only I was not peckish, I felt only ill of the smell. Leonardo asleep some minutes. When he the awake asked it myself to go out clock room. Simultaneously called he of the night nurse. She came immediately with a syringe. After some moments came her out to me in the corridor cum spoke about how Leonardo was dead. I sat with him all night. (pause) I thought through that he had been my friend for eighteen years, that we had lived together for thirteen years, that we never told each other one evil or sudden word. In two years did it that he would die, to it not existed any hope. As often I could, traveled I and greeted across him in his villa outside Naples. He was kind and caring and delighted to at my successes. We spoke and joked and played some chamber music(,)[;] he talked almost not all about his disease cum I would the not ask, it had he not liked on. One day looked it long at me, then laughed he and said: "Next year at the round time am I away, but I will always be with you in all fall, I will always think of you." It was the sweet told from Leonardo only he was gladly something theatrical. (pause) I can not say that I go around and pine. His death was both expected and overdue. One is clear that it feels plot any time then and then. But man mayst not dig down himself. (laughing) Think you that I have changed much in the here seven years as we not seen each other. Yes, I color hair see, Leonardo wanted none see myself gray-hairy, but else am self me like, think you don't? It here jumpsuit bought me in Zurich, I did enjoy something comfortable for me for the long car trip, I saw it in a window on Bahnhofstrasse, I went in and tried cum it sat perfectly cum it was astounding cheap. Think you not that it is quite good-looking?

EVA: Well fondest mamma, it is jolly good-looking.

CHARLOTTE: Now must I pack up, wants you forward me with the here bag, it is filthy, cumbrous cum I have such damn pain in the back after the trip.Think you that man could find a wooden quarrel to lay under the mattress, I must lie hard, as you know.

EVA: There is already a wooden slab under the mattress. That la[[y?]] us there yesterday.

CHARLOTTE: Wonderful. (rectifies herself) What is it, Eva small? Cry you. Yes, wait(,) now may I see. Are you sad? My small kid, are you sad. Have I said something stupid, you know how I talk!

EVA: I cry only for that I am so happy to see you.

CHARLOTTE: Now hugs we each other properly hard, just like when you were little. I only talk about myself self all the time, now must you share, dear Eva-small. Get regard at you. Are you not thinner right very in the last years, now sees me, you are not either glad, but then must you tell why you are sad, come so puts we us here, have you something against that I take a cigarette? How are you it really, small Eva?

EVA: I have it great. Very good.

CHARLOTTE: Liver you-all not very isolated?

EVA: We have some parish's working both Viktor and me.

CHARLOTTE: Yes, it is clear.

EVA: I play oft-times in church. In last month had (been) me one whole Music evening. I played and told of this I played. It was very successful.

CHARLOTTE: You may not forget to play something for me. If thou has lust understood.

EVA: That wants me gladly.

CHARLOTTE: I had five school concerts in Los Angeles in their Music Hall. Three thousand barn (children) each time. I played and recounted. You suspect not what success. But dreadful grueling.

EVA: Mamma, there is one thing I must tell you.

CHARLOTTE: Yes.

EVA: Helena is here. (pause)

CHARLOTTE: (evil) You should write it {till} (to) me that she was here. It is not correct for you to put myself in for the complete fact.

EVA: Of I had spoken about for you that she lived round would you not have come.

CHARLOTTE: I am sure at that I had come in all fall.

EVA: I am sure on to you not had come.

CHARLOTTE: Enough there not with Leonardo's death? Was it necessary to drag here poor Lena also?

EVA: Lena stays here later two years. I wrote till you to Viktor cum me certainly ourself for how matter Lena about her wanted nest here with us. I wrote till yourself.

CHARLOTTE: It some mail has I never got.

EVA: Nor also bothered you you weren't about to read it.

CHARLOTTE: (suddenly calm) Was that not one quite unjust accusation.

EVA: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: I cope none see her. Among any fall don't today.

EVA: Mamma purple! Lena is one wonderful person, she has only so badly to speak, but I have learned me understand what she says. I can be with and translate. Her longing so terrible for to get hit you.

CHARLOTTE: Lord God, she had it the so good on the where chronicler home.

EVA: But I longed after her.

CHARLOTTE: Are you sure upon that she has it better here with you?

EVA: Yes[,] it has her. And I have someone to take care away.

CHARLOTTE: Has she become inferior? I mean has she …? Is she …? I mean inferior?

EVA: That is clear that she be it worse. It belongs why together with the disease.

CHARLOTTE: Come then so walks we and greet with her.

EVA: Are you sure of how you want?

CHARLOTTE: (smiles) I think it is the fear's worth uncomfortable only I have no choice.[I find it terribly unpleasant but I have no choice.]

EVA: Mamma!

CHARLOTTE: I have always had severely with people who are unconscious of their motives.

EVA: Intends thou me?

CHARLOTTE: You can take it as you want. Now walks we.

CHARLOTTE: Lena purple. Presently are you get one hug and one kiss. I take your arms as here and add you them on my shoulders. I have thought of you often, each day.

Helena says something.

EVA: Helena says that she has pain in the throat and that she not wants infection down you.

CHARLOTTE: (kissing her again) Oh, I have well never been afraid for bacilli. It was twenty years then I possess the cold. What the discriminating room you have. And what views. It is like scenery as I have from my room.

Helena says something.

EVA: Lena says that I should take off her eyewear so that you can see her properly.

CHARLOTTE: I look you the in all fall.

Helena says something.

EVA: She wants how you should take her about the head with hands cum then will you look at her.

CHARLOTTE: Is the good so?

HELENA: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: I am so glad for how Eva manages about you. I knew the nothing, I thought you where left on the where home.[sic] I thought virtually health on you before I traveled. But so here is the course very preferable, not true.

HELENA: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: Now may we be together each day.

HELENA: (happy) Yes.

CHARLOTTE: Have you evil?

HELENA: No.

CHARLOTTE: So nice you are in the hair.

Helena says something.

EVA: It is till your honor, mamma.

CHARLOTTE: I'm currently reading one mighty good book on the French Revolution. If you want, I can read aloud for you. We can sit together on the veranda and so reads I for you. Would you like back that?

HELENA: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: And then can we take a tour per the car. I have why never been of them here regions.

HELENA: Yes.

CHARLOTTE: I have thought so much of you.

Helena says something and laughs.

CHARLOTTE: What says she?

EVA: Lena says that you must be mighty tired, and how you none need strain you more today. She thinks that you have been good.

CHARLOTTE: Has Lena no watch?

EVA: Yes[,] certainly! She has a clock on the bed!

CHARLOTTE: Here, Lena, should you get my wristwatch. I got it off a fan who thought I was bad on to mind the time. Eat Lena dinner with us?

EVA: No, I usually give her some home feed middle of [the day?]. She slims incidentally. As long she each at some hospital ate her right for much.

Helena says something.

EVA: Lena says that …

CHARLOTTE: Wait, I understood what Lena would say: There is a butterfly in the windows! Was it right?

CHARLOTTE: (alone) Why feel I me as if I had excitement. Why wants I only cry. So from idiotic silly. I should stand where ashamed. The is opinions. And so badly conscience. Always, always bad conscience. Had so in a hurry to come here. What imagined I me actually? What were the I longed after so desperately, fixed me none dared admit the for us self? Now takes me one shower-bath and late sleeping me one hour, in each case adds I me on the bed and snooze and late should I take with me something nice till the dinner. So that Eva becomes enforced permit that her olden mum is well maintained. There is no idea to initiate cry, o'clock is already over four. Damn also. There sat she and looked at me with their large eyes. I held her face between hands cum self felt how the disease jerked in her stacks' throat muscles. Damn also, how self not can uplift up her and wear her to my bed and comfort her as when she was three years. That there shattered soft body, it is why my Lena. Don't cry now for hell. The clock is already a quarter past four. I should shower as comes I on other thoughts. I cards of the visit. But four days should go great. The manages I. Later travels I to Africa as I originally had planned. It makes evil. Evil. Evil. Keep now. Do the evil in the same way in the Bartok Sonata 2nd movement. (hums and humming for to self) Yes. I have taken the bars right for quickly, the is clear. So here must the be: the prelude pam-pam and late comes the one small snake of torments. Slowly but without tears, for where available not longer some tears or has never found. So yes. If the here correct has the visit in the rectory in all fall had one certainly value. Now to[translated from Bing] I take my red dress cum this does I of rudeness, after which Eva thinks that I should wear something more suitable so here just after Leonardo's death. My body is the in all fall nothing wrong on. It is perhaps not so damn elegant[,] but it is one good and kind body. When I will till Africa should me - or perhaps I would trip till Crete and greet away Harold. (laughs) The certain is he a pig the good Harold only he prepares good food cum he vet how Man should live. I call him tonight, one does self, that should be nice after four hours' godliness. (suddenly) So am self so mean, self am why angry all the time. Eva and Viktor have so long as been please against me and shown that they are happy to have me here. And Viktor is actually one nice prick. It is lucky for Eva, a crybaby, that she has got one as pass nice fellow. Now should you see that the shower not functions either! Well[,] think that it did it.

EVA: This incomprehensible strange mother! You ought seen her when I spoke about that Lena lived here with us. You ought seen her smiling. Mayst you think you to she got together till one smiling, despite the surprise and the fright. And then when we stood outside the door to Lena's room: an actress before her entrance, insanely afraid but collected. The dissimulation was sovereign. Believe thou that my mother is completely emotionless. Why came her here intrinsically? What friend after her it by a reunion after seven years. How waited her to. And what friend after ME me. Ends Man never to hope.

VIKTOR: I think not it.

EVA: Ends Man never to be mother and daughter?

VIKTOR: Some do well there.

EVA: It is like a heavy ghost that suddenly falls over one when Man opens the door to the nursery since Man for long late has forgotten that it despite all is the door to the nursery. Think you to I is full-grown?

VIKTOR: I vet not what as opines cum to be full-grown.

EVA: That vet no self either.

VIKTOR: To be full-grown is well to can gloves with their dreams and hopes. Man longs not.

EVA: Think you.

VIKTOR: Man ends perhaps to amaze to.

EVA: How you look sensible outward with you seated there with your old pipe. You are probably wholly and some way adult.

VIKTOR: So believe I don't. Self surprises me each day.

EVA: Over what?

VIKTOR: Over you till example. Whether also having self completely unreasonable dreams and hopes. And someone sorts desire with for the parts.

EVA: Longing?

VIKTOR: I long after you.

EVA: That there are mighty beautiful words, is it none? I mean words that don't mean something real. I am bred with beautiful words. The order "pain" till example. Mamma is not cursed or miscalculated or unhappy(,)[;] she "feels pain." You have as well one mass such there vocable. Beside you is that well someone sorts occupational damage. If thou says that you long after me despite how self stands here middle towards you, so becomes I suspicious.

VIKTOR: You vet very well what I mean.

EVA: No. If I knew it ought you never arrive at the idea to say that you long after me.

VIKTOR: (smiles) That is true.

EVA: What proves that I am least equal wise as you, perhaps wiser, which in cum for itself no want say so much. Now should I go out in the kitchen and see to the calf steak. Mom has always thought that I am ill on that prepare food, she is one real guzzler, I have heard her talk one whole night with one American impresario if how man laws sauces. They were indeed excited both two.

VIKTOR: I think thou prepares -

EVA: Wonderful food. Thanks(,) my friend. I get not either forget to make decaffeinated coffee at my dear mamma. I have often wondered over for what reason she is sleepless. I think self vet the reason. If the woman sleeping normally would her vitality crush the environment(,)[;] her insomnia is natures own regulate for that get down it in fairly bearable proportions. (out, in again) Now to you see how nice she has made herself till the dinner. See only on the perfect trim as on one discreet way should remind us if to she despite all is one alone and grieving widow.

EVA: Dear mama, what beautiful dressing!

CHARLOTTE: Think you it suits me? I thought long that I not could have red only as one day met I my old friend Samuel Parkenhurst and he said(:) "Charlotte, I will just from Dior's fall viewing cum there had they a red dress that was yours entirely and direction." Me bad him get it and - it clothes me indeed. I am hungry as a wolf.

EVA: Hoping you will content. I have fried a calf steak. That usually you like of.

CHARLOTTE: Magnificent. Only to could eat homemade after all the hotel food.

VIKTOR: Yes, to we toast when. Welcome here to the rectory, dear Charlotte. Welcome of the heart, might you thrive and stay a long time.

CHARLOTTE: (in English[directly from the film]) Hello, is that you, Paul. Hello? Yes; no, no, not at all, we've just finished dinner. Yes, that's the way it is. In this country, you eat dinner at four o'clock. What? Another concert? Wait a minute let… no, you must speak up, I can't hear you. Well, the line is so noisy. Wait a minute, I have to get my book and… my glasses, [where the hell did I put them.] [back to Swedish] Eva, can you see if I've put my glasses on the table by the window? (back to English/film] Where are you? In Monte Carlo! What are you doing in Monte Carlo? Mind you don't gamble my money away. What? (Eva brings glasses) Thank you, Eva darling! [CUT FROM THE FILM (from Swedish: (business-like) Yes, it has I, but they should not think the so should go equally easy as last time. Greet them that for my part can gladly the fee be the same, excluding your commission and travel costs. Too should they stand for my expenses, that was expensive, I became practically taken ruined, also get one's permission to put its repetition so that it fits better. (looks in her calendar) I come from Munich; they may rehearse on Saturday and Sunday morning if Varviso insists on two repetitions. I will not rush life from me; the connections are abysmal; Man may sit at the different airports all day. …Now should you see] Now the old gal has the glasses on her nose. Here, let me see… Oh no, that's impossible! That's my time off, and you know that very well. No… no it's no good, I wouldn't dream of it. Here I have.. I have written free, free, free…. How much do they pay, did you say? Good Lord! (laughs) Alright, If they can make that concert on Wednesday, the 17th, it'll be alright. Ok. And tell them from me, that they have to fix a proper toilet behind the platform. Yes, so I don't have to pee in a flower vase. (laughs) Well, I don't care how baroque the castle is. In the 90's? Oh, well, Take care of yourself so you don't overdo it. Mm, and remember, we are not as young as we were. Yes, I love you, you know that. (hangs up) (back to Swedish) That each my agent, he is so cute. Nowadays am he my only friend in the round world. No thanks, no cognac for me, but gladly one small whiskey in front the evening's bend. Can I now not could help till with to a cloth off.

VIKTOR: We said why that we would spoil away you.

CHARLOTTE: (strikes herself down at the flywing [grand piano]) What fine old instrument, what nice sound. And novel true [newly tuned]! (playing something) Now am I really on good humor. I worried myself through unnecessarily.

EVA: What mean you, mamma?

CHARLOTTE: (with tears in the eyes) Yes, what believe you look gal? Understands you not that one felt worried to see you again after seven years. I was thundering scared and could not sleep on all overnight and with morning held me at to call cancel, if you would know.

EVA: But mamma then!

CHARLOTTE: Think you I am girth of tin. Thanks, gladly two sugar bits. This here decaffeinated coffee is indeed not fun only what makes Man when Man not sleeping. I see that thou holding on with the Chopin preludes. Want you not last kind and play anything.

EVA: Not now[,] mamma.

CHARLOTTE: Eva! Where not childish. Thou prepares me one big joy if you choose punt for me.

VIKTOR: Eva small, you said last in goes-before that you hoped that your mother would volition listen to you. Have you forgotten that?

EVA: If you absolutely want. But I am far from - I mean that round is only cheating and just non-technical. Self has not bothered me about the fingering that available in the here edition. That should I none clear.

CHARLOTTE: Darling! Now features we consulted probably with excuses. Manner running only.

Eva does Chopin's Prelude no. 2 in A minor.

CHARLOTTE: Dearest little Eva.

EVA: Is it everything you have to say?

CHARLOTTE: No, no, I became only so moved.

EVA: (bright) Thought you if it?

CHARLOTTE: I liked supposing YOU.

EVA: I understand not what thou mean.

CHARLOTTE: Mayst you don't play anything off the other. [sic?] Now that we have it so nice.

EVA: I would know what I did for error.

CHARLOTTE: You did no wrong.

EVA: But you thought not if my way to play just the here prelude.

CHARLOTTE: Where and one must have its own perception.

EVA: Sure. Just the. And now wants me ken din.

CHARLOTTE: What should it serve till?

EVA: (hostile) Therefore that I ASK if it.

CHARLOTTE: You are already evil.

EVA: I am sorry, for to you apparently not think the is while worth to speak if for me, how you self looks on just the here prelude.

CHARLOTTE: Well, if you absolutely want. (calm) Us ignores thus from the cleanly technical as not were so mad, despite that you well could have interested you one crumb more for Cortot's fingering, because it gives one particular help at interpretation. But for all some, we care us none about it the problematic, without speaking only about oneself the perception.

EVA: Well?

CHARLOTTE: Chopin is not sentimental, Eva! He is emotional but not sentimental. It is an abyss between sense and sentimentality. The prelude that you played speaks of restrained pain, not about dreams. You must be quiet, clear and severe. The temperature is pile fever, but the expression is masculine dominated. Views you round only the first bars. (shows and plays) It does hurt but I'm showing it none. So one short easement. But it volatilizes almost immediately and thus is the plague THE SAME, not larger and not less. The mastery is all the time total. Chopin was proud, sarcastic, heated, tormented, furious and very manly. He was thus no emotional bitch. This round second prelude must (be) played almost ugly. It may never become ingratiating. IT SHOULD SOUND WRONG, laboriously nor successfully fought through. So here thus, here should you hear. (playing paragraph one walk till)

EVA: I understand.

CHARLOTTE: (almost humble) Become not sorry for me, Eva.

EVA: Why would I become sorry(.)[?] Contrariwise.

CHARLOTTE: In forty-five years of my living have I held on with the here awful preludes. Where available still one pulp secrets, such I don't understand. But I will not give me.

EVA: Near I was barn admired self yourself insane. Late where I right tired of you and your piano in several years. Now begins I certainly admire you again, although on one other way.

CHARLOTTE: (sarcastic) Then is that why some hope.

EVA: (serious) Yes, for all share.

VIKTOR: I think that Charlotte's analysis is seductive, but Eva's interpretation feels more anxious.

CHARLOTTE: (laughs happy) For this opinion mayst Viktor one kiss!

VIKTOR: (embarrassed) I'm stating just what I think.

{in the movie, not in the script}

CHARLOTTE: Eva, where are you?

FOR EVA: Mom, I'm up here.

CHARLOTTE: I've changed, so we can go for a walk if you want. Is this the nursery?

EVA: Yes, this is Erik's room.

CHARLOTTE: Why would you keep it this way?

EVA: We have often talked about changing it.] I'm going here till the grave each Saturday. About the is mild as of evening sitter me one while here on the bench and sounds thoughts go as the wants. (pause) Erik drowned the day before he would fill four years. We have one old well on the yard cum some lock is fixed, but in some way had he got up it and succumbed down. We found him almost immediately harm it was already away. Viktor managed not the where, the where something particularly between Erik and his papa. I grieved one whole part in one outer way. Innermost in felt I already from beginning that he still lived, that we lived tight adjacent each other. I need only concentrate me the very minimum, so available he there. Sometimes just near self should sleep khan I feel that he breathes against my face and so pipe it at me with sin hand. Think you the sounds overvoltage? I can perhaps understand if you think the. For me is the right naturally. He lives one other life only anytime can we reach each other, the available no limit, no unaffordable wall. Sometimes wonders self course, how the reality looks out where my small boy inhabiting and breathe. Simultaneously understand I the to the not goes to describe, since the is one world of liberated emotions. Viktor has the very difficult than I. It says that he no longer may believe in God as God sounds children die or burn broken, or become insanity or shot death or starve. Self tries explicate for him till the not available someone difference away barn and adults since the adults still am barn, as have to live disguised till adults. For me is man one enormous creation, as one unimaginable thought and in man available all, from the highest to the lowest, just as in life, and man is God's image and in God available all, all is as mighty forces and so creates the devils and the saint and the prophets and the dark man and the artists and destroyers. [sic] All available side by side and displacing in on each other. It is like that mighty pattern that the time changes, understand you how I mean? With as manner must the why also be one unrestricted amount realities, not only the reality being we make with our blunt senses without one riot of realities as arches to over and around each other, inside and outside. It is why only fear and snuff sense to believe in some borders. THERE ARE NO BOUNDARIES. Not for the thoughts, not for the emotions. It's the anxiety that sets the limits, don't you think so too? When thou playing slow rates in Beethoven's Hammer-piano sonata when need you the whiff that you pipe you in one world without restrictions, in of one vast motion as you never can through behold or explore. It's like with Jesus. He blasted laws and restrictions with an altogether new feeling, which none had heard spoken about earlier(,)[;] it was love. Finished how people save salvage and frantic, precisely how they almost always become horrified and try lam, once one great feeling overwhelms them, despite that they go there and crave themselves ruined after their parched and killed feelings.

VIKTOR: (smiles) Yes, yes.

CHARLOTTE: You can't let her walk around like that.

VIKTOR: What do you mean?

CHARLOTTE: I think she is really terribly unhappy. And that she suddenly one day realizes how bad it is and then she does something crazy.

VIKTOR: Think you really do?

CHARLOTTE: Yes, I do believe so.

VIKTOR: Is she up with Lena?

CHARLOTTE: She was gonna make her ready for the night.

VIKTOR: Fashion you now down there a moment, dear Charlotte, and associated with, I'll try to explain how I see my wife.

CHARLOTTE: Yes, now I'm sitting?

CHARLOTTE: I remember those years around Erik's birth. Just then, I recorded all the Mozart sonatas and piano concertos. I did not have a single day off.

VIKTOR: No, just that. We invited you again and again, but sadly you never had time.

CHARLOTTE: No.

VIKTOR: When Erik drowned, the gray film became even grayer. For Eva matter that thus different.

CHARLOTTE: Differently? How, differently?

CHARLOTTE: Yes. You are the priest.

VIKTOR: The little faith I have, living on her terms.

CHARLOTTE: Sorry if I injured you.

VIKTOR: It does nothing, Charlotte. I am till unlike from you and Eva a diffuse and uncertain human.[sic] I may blame us myself.

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