& it hurts me when i move my jaw [29 | they | aotearoa]
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your life is not an optimization problem
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algerian trans women arent able to compete in women sports at all, but yeah its makes no sense to call khelif tme. youre so fucking smart.
(this is a response to this post) i see you don't believe that i'm quoting one of the trans women in my life about that, which is your prerogative. it's also your right to miss my point entirely both about the ways this alienates intersex people and about the rigidity of a binary that comes down to the same shrinking circles terfs draw when they try to quantify what a woman is (speak up for women, the most organised nz group, have now submitted on the human rights act suggesting that all babies be karyotyped at birth and the results be public, bc they can't establish any other definition they agree on. absolutely fucking nobody, not even their christian or conspiracist allies, agrees with them on this one.)
but you don't have to take my word for it! when i was at that consultation with the nz law commission, i was in a room with many other intersex and trans people, including trans athletes and trans women like lexie matheson who consult on trans inclusion in sports at a high national level. i don't think there's a single person in that room who did not name what was happening to khelif as we spoke as transmisogyny, who did not speak of her as part of a group with whom we all shared something.
at the end of the day, prison abolition informs all of my politics. i believe that we must look clearly and carefully at harm and distinguish it from discomfort or disagreement, and identify its structural sources and true perpetrators. i believe that to build a better future we must be capable of imagining one. i believe that we can build a world where suffering is not the metric by which we determine value or punishment or righteousness. i believe that we can build a world where we centre and uplift those who are most hurt, in every arena — black and brown trans women, here; in some of my other work, it's incarcerated intellectually disabled people, or asian migrant sex workers affected by section 19, the list goes on — without then pitting them against other people who share some of the same story and will benefit from the same deconstruction of the systems that hold them down. i believe we can build a world in which asab doesn't affect so much of your life by beginning that work now.
there's a politics of scarcity — you have it better than me, so we have nothing in common. i saw it all the time in brothels, the idea that the new girl is taking money out of your kids' mouths. the viciousness with which people who are struggling are so ready to abandon solidarity. is it so hard to demand better for everyone? to think less about the ways we're alone and more about the ways we're together?
maybe it is. i know that well enough as a prison abolitionist. people get scared. they swing at shadows, they swing at anyone who seems to be suffering less, they — we, i should say, i am certainly not immune — get blindingly jealous of people who seem to have it easier. that's grief! that's grief for the easier life that we deserve. and we get to mourn, and take that time to feel it, and then we can choose if we want to keep working hand in hand with each other toward a world where that grief is dwarfed by the promise of the future.
#rbing again bc i see that the separatists in both directions are continuing to escalate and that's why i haven't really been here.#there's so much going on in irl organising for sex worker rights and prison abolition and just fighting this absolute cesspit of a govt#and medically i've been dealing with a lot#and i simply cannot be fucked being on here with people unwilling to see the places where their politics are built on pain in ways#that preclude moving forward into a better future or just. minimising harm in this world.#sick of white transmasc fragility. sick of intersex people being thrown under the bus. sick of dealing with white people in general atm tbh#like there's just been. multiple increasingly horrific incidents this year of white whores/trans people/whatever making shit abt them#in ways that has actively sabotaged support for people far more vulnerable than them#ALSO sick of that one '''ceo of antifa''' cishet woman who uses indigeneity as a cudgel to shut down any uppity transes#who dare to organise events for their own community without her#but that's a whole other story. fuck my entire life.#i still believe things can and will get better. i still believe in humanity. all i am hoping is that youse don't make that harder#and i fully get that it is very difficult to pour from an empty cup. i do not demand niceness from anyone. i don't demand recovery.#but fuck you know? i think a lot of this hurt comes back to being denied solidarity#and it hurts to do it but we need to keep extending it to not perpetuate more hurt.#which is why unfortunately (i jest) i am still assuming good faith of all the white people in my organising life#and working to communicate as well and clearly as i can#anyway yeah i'm tired i'm not here super often yes there is new matt stuff no i don't think it's that interesting to most of tumblr#other than moments of schadenfreude i am sure have already been posted here
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this shit owns it's just a number go up idle game except the idle mechanic comes from you writing JavaScript to automate tasks it seems like the end goal of the game is to perfectly optimize against this little arbitrary system they've created. There's not any plot to speak of so far but even though nothing is happening people send you messages through the computer telling you to trust no one as they all have ulterior motives. Very relatable.
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kind of obsessed with this comment from the aoteaora nz subreddit….
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I actually don’t know any trans women who have an issue with lesbian identified trans men as like A Thing. It obviously exists and it’s obviously fine. but every transfemme dyke I know either knows a tgirl or who has been or was herself quietly excluded from a lesbian focused community or event that all their transmasc dyke friends still love to attend and feel welcome at so yeah we’re a bit annoyed about that.
#the only trans women i know who are weird abt that shit are the assimilationist straight women so like#who cares what they think.#there are bigger problems than them off living their lives and being confused about dykes like many other straight women are
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Idk man it’s so easy to get bogged down in all the bullshit online but when my then-6 year old cousin found out I was trans he said “ok” then corrected my grandma when she misgendered me. I was once the third between a gay man and a lesbian. Two lesbians once invited me back to their place when I presented as a man. I met an AMAB nb butch who looked strikingly to outsiders like a cis man and it was one of the more sapphic experiences I’ve had. I nervously wore a boydyke shirt to pride and got 3 different cis-looking femme folks tell me they loved my shirt. I once told a trans group at a protest that any pronouns were fine for me and one person said “wow, I’m impressed and intimidated by people like that. I don’t know that I could be that chill with pronouns.” I once told a GNC friend I wished I could wear a type of “opposite” gender clothing after I had already transitioned and so it would be associated with my AGAB and he said “You could just do it.” I’ve had cishet men fight cops for me before. The first time I had a doctor ask me if my name was different than what was on my forms I had to try not to cry. Last week, a phone call with a doctor’s office where I am generally cis passing asked unprompted if my name listed is what I want to be called. It touched me then too. I told a lesbian friend once I felt like my attraction to men AND women both felt gay. She said “makes sense.” And we moved on. I go by different pronouns in different circles. I’ve had gay women love my facial hair. I’ve had gay men like my tits. It’s all out there, I promise. It can be hard to find it but I promise there is community like you and community who likes you. And it’s more messy and beautiful than tumblr discourse makes it out to be.
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log onto tumblr and you learn that cowboys are secretly leftist and pirates are secretly leftist and superhero comics are secretly leftist and vikings are secretly leftist and greco-roman antiquity is secretly leftist and knights are secretly leftist and the concept of the appalachian region is secretly leftist and all genre fiction is innately secretly leftist and every animated show you ever watched as a kid is secretly leftist and you never have to think about the political subtext of anything ever and you log off tumblr and for some reason people are talking about a descent toward fascism
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the phenomenon of people talking about the cost of "AI" in energy and water while ignoring everything else they use that also spends those same things is very telling
you do not know the process behind production of the things you take for granted. you think your computer is a magic box that connects to the astral plane. you never think about the cables and servers and water cooling and electricity cost and the workers who build and maintain the infrastructure etc. etc. except for the thing you don't like and were told the cost was a good excuse for why you don't like it
you also don't think about the cost of so much more. the food you eat, the phone in your hand, etc. you just know it costs an amount of dollars at the store
this isn't about being a morally bad person for not thinking about this. this is about not getting bogged down on the supposed inherent evil of 1 specific thing you were told to hate because it's the only thing that you realize needs to be produced using material resources. and instead becoming a marxist
#this is what i've been saying#it genuinely costs more energy for a human artist to fuel their body and make an image so unless you wanna get into eugenics#don't get into how wasteful ai is#esp if you clearly still don't understand how local models work and how they use less than your average current aaa video game#i despise how these things have been used as much as anyone but it really truly is about capitalism#see: people on fb yelling about boycotting ai for the way they treat moderation workers outside the imperial core#zuck did it first and still fucking does
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too many movies have been ruined by not casting ugly people
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someone (or multiple someones) is filling my personal/freelancer website's contact form out asking if they can still pay to fuck me and like. my first instinct is to think i'm overreacting bc it's not like i'm not a whore, you know? i do say that i'm a semi-retired prostitute, i do use my civvie name when i speak to media as a migrant sex worker against section 19, whatever. maybe it's weird to be uncomfortable with it.
but upon thought: no, that's sexual harassment, as it would be for anyone else with any website where they aren't soliciting johns.
and people are honestly so fucked about knowing sex workers sometimes eh. as if being open about being a hooker means that i don't have sexual boundaries, or that i'm available to everyone for free advice on sex toys or how to find a whore who will fix their bedroom dysfunction or fucking whatever, or that i'm comfortable being tagged into arguments they're currently having with swerfs. leave me alone
#tony muses#whorephobia#i keep my shit carefully siloed for a reason!#like it would not really impact me that much if anyone put my names together or otherwise outed me bc new zealand is small#many people have worked it out already and i could not care less what my parents might think / they have no power over me#and yet. my boundaries. the person i bring to whoring is not the person i bring to the rest of my work.
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I've seen a number of people worried and concerned about this language on Ao3s current "agree to these terms of service" page. The short version is:
Don't worry. This isn't anything bad. Checking that box just means you forgive them for being US American.
Long version: This text makes perfect sense if you're familiar with the issues around GDPR and in particular the uncertainty about Privacy Shield and SCCs after Schrems II. But I suspect most people aren't, so let's get into it, with the caveat that this is a Eurocentric (and in particular EU centric) view of this.
The basic outline is that Europeans in the EU have a right to privacy under the EU's General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), an EU directive (let's simplify things and call it an EU law) that regulates how various entities, including companies and the government, may acquire, store and process data about you.
The list of what counts as data about you is enormous. It includes things like your name and birthday, but also your email address, your computers IP address, user names, whatever. If an advertiser could want it, it's on the list.
The general rule is that they can't, unless you give explicit permission, or it's for one of a number of enumerated reasons (not all of which are as clear as would be desirable, but that's another topic). You have a right to request a copy of the data, you have a right to force them to delete their data and so on. It's not quite on the level of constitutional rights, but it is a pretty big deal.
In contrast, the US, home of most of the world's internet companies, has no such right at a federal level. If someone has your data, it is fundamentally theirs. American police, FBI, CIA and so on also have far more rights to request your data than the ones in Europe.
So how can an American website provide services to persons in the EU? Well… Honestly, there's an argument to be made that they can't.
US websites can promise in their terms and conditions that they will keep your data as safe as a European site would. In fact, they have to, unless they start specifically excluding Europeans. The EU even provides Standard Contract Clauses (SCCs) that they can use for this.
However, e.g. Facebook's T&Cs can't bind the US government. Facebook can't promise that it'll keep your data as secure as it is in the EU even if they wanted to (which they absolutely don't), because the US government can get to it easily, and EU citizens can't even sue the US government over it.
Despite the importance that US companies have in Europe, this is not a theoretical concern at all. There have been two successive international agreements between the US and the EU about this, and both were struck down by the EU court as being in violation of EU law, in the Schrems I and Schrems II decisions (named after Max Schrems, an Austrian privacy activist who sued in both cases).
A third international agreement is currently being prepared, and in the meantime the previous agreement (known as "Privacy Shield") remains tentatively in place. The problem is that the US government does not want to offer EU citizens equivalent protection as they have under EU law; they don't even want to offer US citizens these protections. They just love spying on foreigners too much. The previous agreements tried to hide that under flowery language, but couldn't actually solve it. It's unclear and in my opinion unlikely that they'll manage to get a version that survives judicial review this time. Max Schrems is waiting.
So what is a site like Ao3 to do? They're arguably not part of the problem, Max Schrems keeps suing Meta, not the OTW, but they are subject to the rules because they process stuff like your email address.
Their solution is this checkbox. You agree that they can process your data even though they're in the US, and they can't guarantee you that the US government won't spy on you in ways that would be illegal for the government of e.g. Belgium. Is that legal under EU law? …probably as legal as fan fiction in general, I suppose, which is to say let's hope nobody sues to try and find out.
But what's important is that nothing changed, just the language. Ao3 has always stored your user name and email address on servers in the US, subject to whatever the FBI, CIA, NSA and FRA may want to do it. They're just making it more clear now.
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The fujoshevik keeps commissioning socialist realist paintings of sweaty men in factories and cosmonauts holding each other tenderly
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Is transitioning from male to female to become a butch lesbian a reasonable option?
it is beyond reasonable, it is one of the coolest things you can do on this bitch of an earth
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so much of being an ok person is just 1) not panicking, 2) not taking things personally, and 3) not letting the vindictive gargoyle that lives in your head tell you what to do. this sucks because brains love doing those things
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