tipsycoffee1201

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I hope she knows, what lies in the depths of your soul If she doesn’t, I hope she works hard to dig into the shallows Where your soul lies in the quietness, in the tortuous void I hope she cares enough and stays, I hope she keeps you despite all.

I hope she finds love whenever she stares deep into your eyes I hope she won’t disregard your demons but embrace them I hope she will stand by your side while you fight so hard to banish them, I hope she stays, when they’re loud and its excruciating noises start to crumble your wil to live.

I hope she stays, when the darkness begin to turn into a blackhole. I hope she still loves you or find a reason to still love you. I hope she remember that you were once a star she badly adore. I hope she stays, hold your hand, squeeze it tight and silence all the noises.

I hope she stays.

I hope she stays..

Please stay….

Words written by Merryl Acuin Photo by Kate Graham- @pinterest https://www.instagram.com/p/CF8gRLyhXgG8DExsdgiuvQ15lp_q_i4vMI829Q0/?igshid=5kyfhth4i35m

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My heart is breaking, looking at you. Looking at the sky, clearing into a perfect blue. I was fading from the reality, again, take my hand. I am going to tear my heart out to fix yours and you may run away from this crazy. And my dear, you're a dream and this is scary. I could just dream of you, sleeping beside me, sleeping so heavenly. I could just dream of you... I could just dream of you... Words by Merryl Acuin https://www.instagram.com/p/B_ikZ2RBkUikaJeF_DUOu0UZ2nUI_W8_mXLxJk0/?igshid=fds6uwnvn1sx

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You are so beautiful that I want to kiss you in the morning when I wake up until the sun set. In the dusk, in the dawn until the morning sun shines back again. I want to kiss you in a sky full of stars, our back against the sands and our body never bothered by the cold breeze coming from the shore. I want to be the one who messes your hair, I want you to be the one who messes mine. You're an unpredictable promise like the water in the desert. You're too perfect and I am a fool climbing up the moon again. I know you hate me when I go crazy, but I cannot say anything yet I am not going to apologize. I am Crazy, madly beguiled by you. Dear, I am sorry because this is how my mind works when I get loose, I succumb to my death, I get so high and we cannot do anything about it. I will fly so high to get to you and I don't care if you are the sun and I am just a moth. "The Crazy Moth's Obsession for The Sun" Words by Merryl Acuin Photograph by Mat Collishaw https://www.instagram.com/p/B6XJI_-BAD0ZwyA2pEMt8HqMBQG-Zm9HdXhqS40/?igshid=80e5vpfl9020

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You are still madness. An insane roller coaster ride, a death race. A dead flower of a rotten soul, it was a mistake, succumbing into the light. It was a mistake, to bloom your ignorance with a single bite, The temptation of a single bite, you should have known, you should've fought, despite, Giving in to what you thought was an ocean of bliss. Chocolates and champagnes, birds humming in the air, trees dancing, the beatles' song playing on the radio inside your head, does sound captivating, but was it all just a false vision of what real happiness is? You are a fool, a crooked believer of an empty faith, you are hopeless. It was a mistake, you are never made for the light, you know that you are a shadow, You are made for the quiet and the darkness alone. Happiness is a good dream, yet, you know some are just not made for it. Like widows, wolves crying for the moon, old maidens, a man working 24/7 in a job he dislikes and you. You are misery, a universe of vanity, you are an entire galaxy black hole mad explosion. You are a toxic waste, poison, whoever comes dies, leaves and be gone. Stop dreaming, stop believing, climb up the tower again, you don't deserve a life. Climb up your tower again and be gone, be gone, be gone... The one who preys becomes her own prey. Again... It was me, my own killer, my own death, my own misery. I am still madness, this is... "My Second Death" Words by Merryl Acuin Photograph by Danny Richardson https://www.instagram.com/p/B6sRw7dFhGJ33f9VVxrdR1X3mFX2bhLrLIOCvA0/?igshid=13xqe5dmgh9an

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I want to stare right into your eyes and be dazzled by the colors I have not yet encountered and have never imagined ever existed. - Mewil https://www.instagram.com/p/B7jtCYvF6tL8PxJsJHeroLVNHePW49wvScs7og0/?igshid=19rv1ztaaibfb

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Sometimes I loathe being human. I tend to fall in love with the impossible, someone who is so beautiful and so far away. Someone I could only adore from a great distance like the moon. A dream, my moon, I could only hopelessly wish for a sign that you may blink for me at least once. Please blink for me like the stars. Oh please blink for me to let me know that this isn't just a dream. This isn't just an illusion and one day, I will wake up in your good morning sunshine kisses, your comfortable, warm skin that almost feels like home and your soft lips that kills and haunts me. Blink for me and tell me if I shall continue to dream about you. "Blink for me, my Moon" Photo by: Michel Paz Words from Merryl Acuin https://www.instagram.com/p/B72GD8xhOdoACS5JPVcxH85Ee4cPn1cxCn0VJo0/?igshid=47xyext5l8vw

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Loving you is unsafe, A dangerous path of getting my heart tear into pieces. A blinding tunnel routing to the gates of madness. It will be the pit I would be ironically so willing to jump into. Loving you is unexpected, Walking in a deserted garden of pain and numbness, Filled with dust, sun shaded, high gray walls, empty- dungeon of darkness. I am shivering in the cold void when I saw you, sun shining in a spotlight for one single rose. I touched you and I bled. Then, I knew if loving you will cause me a great deal of pain. My love, I will bleed again. "Loving you" Photo from Instagram: @adriannaswider Words by- Merryl Acuin https://www.instagram.com/p/B8T8fq9Fyzy1-g7BE0R_DRuBeuu316oP9fCatg0/?igshid=9l5m1ja79ne8

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Two sapiosexual strangers met on that last trip to nowhere. Ranting about politics, myths, stereotypes. Talking about music, bands and the first book they've ever read. Walking until the sun sets, passing streets and mocking tourist guides like I've been born in all these places until sunrise. I would have to ask you because if I won't, I will be living in regret and die missing out her chances. It happens once in a blue moon when two strangers meet and break boundaries between two strangers. I like you, your head full of loud voices and your universe of poetic phrases. Do you like me too? Or the next day, we will be walking in separate ways, back into that void. I'll be flying home and you'll be riding that train elsewhere. I'll be watching a movie or reading a book thinking of the other side and a time spent with you, stranger. "Let's meet again, Stranger?" Photo from the movie "Before Sunrise" Words written by Merryl Acuin https://www.instagram.com/p/B8UXbnll-3fHjTVw5SKbiiIR1sVBWRotJJ9G-I0/?igshid=138pc34ult5fq

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You can't get to fall in love with the idea of love. It's exquisitely beautiful which makes it completely horrific. Aren't most beautiful things were made to deceive you in a million broken pieces? It's just hopeless to deal with romance and life. Life and its practicality, has left us jaded, shaking in anguish, old and miserable. "Evil works of Life in Love" Words by Merryl Acuin Photo from Greta Z. (at Pinterest) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8sLn1ahpodq-0BUTLQn3F3AeY3OIOfcIEpPwA0/?igshid=sbeh1zgjkyy5

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Seeking heroes, angels, fairies and white witches. Dressed in white silky silhouettes underneath a pink porcelain-liked skin. Your Hair flowing like the river, shining like the starry night sky that one sunshine summer. I'm caught dancing in the waves of a trance, catching knives as I let you touch me, crashing in an obscure future paradise. For what's worth, ending in an ephemeral reverie, left you bleeding tears in the purple rain. "The Deceitful and The Dreamer" Photo by Sarah Ann Loreth and Omalix Martinez Words by Merryl Acuin https://www.instagram.com/p/B9JpU-OhNPbk3gC7SMwkEbCviIvziLGT374I7o0/?igshid=1smjtw6zkzuda

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Only the alcohol could've understood the depths of my melancholy. Only, I could wish for at least an ephemeral dream of whiskeys or vodka glasses kissing my lips, Only, I could wish for a soft bed and a comforting pillow for my peaceful slumber. Only I could wish for all of it to happen, for long sweat dreams rather than staying awake in this nightmare. "Missing an Old friend" Words written by Merryl Acuin Photo from Pinterest by Justin Muir https://www.instagram.com/p/B-7L_SRh425TeAYMsdnzSQnP7BErt4rf83UHd00/?igshid=1wlw8m8kvm7ro

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If I fall in love again... I think I will never experience how the sun sets and the sea turn orange in the afternoon like how it used to, I remember us watching the waves, sitting on the shoreline waiting for the moon to shine. I will be missing the electricity that shivers and lingers, I hope you are not the only one who can give me.How your sweaty hands touch mine and how I adore the sun rays kissing your face in the morning. How I would be jealous of that and kiss you until you wake up. I miss how the sleepless nights used to not bother me and how I miss your warmth during the cold. I would be covering myself in layers of clothes, in blankets, knowing that the cold has latch itself deeper than the surface. I miss how your nose makes those funny sounds whenever I pinch them, I miss your giggles whenever I do that, memories will always be a part of me. The mole on your chest and the scar on your chin, are just so perfect. How dull days never seem so dull, how silence sounded like music... I don't know if I can ever fall in love again, I will be staring at someone's face, searching for your soul or I will be mad making him fit in your shoes and it will never fit. Nobody will ever can... and I don't know if I can fall in love again. "If I fall in love again" Words by Merryl Acuin Photo from The Notebook Movie https://www.instagram.com/p/B-vJE_dBP5MQqI3iVPOIkUnwJNF8P35442VxlU0/?igshid=1udk69ja9hopj

[tipsycoffee1201]

If I fall in love again... I think I will never experience how the sun sets and the sea turn orange in the afternoon like how it used to, I remember us watching the waves, sitting on the shoreline waiting for the moon to shine. I will be missing the electricity that shivers and lingers, I hope you are not the only one who can give me.How your sweaty hands touch mine and how I adore the sun rays kissing your face in the morning. How I would be jealous of that and kiss you until you wake up. I miss how the sleepless nights used to not bother me and how I miss your warmth during the cold. I would be covering myself in layers of clothes, in blankets, knowing that the cold has latch itself deeper than the surface. I miss how your nose makes those funny sounds whenever I pinch them, I miss your giggles whenever I do that, memories will always be a part of me. The mole on your chest and the scar on your chin, are just so perfect. How dull days never seem so dull, how silence sounded like music... I don't know if I can ever fall in love again, I will be staring at someone's face, searching for your soul or I will be mad making him fit in your shoes and it will never fit. Nobody will ever can... and I don't know if I can fall in love again. "If I fall in love again" Words by Merryl Acuin Photo from The Notebook Movie https://www.instagram.com/p/B-vJE_dBP5MQqI3iVPOIkUnwJNF8P35442VxlU0/?igshid=pieazsa4gzzz

[tipsycoffee1201]

Somebody will pick you up,

Somebody who kisses death and has a great fascination for the ruined.

Somebody will connect all your fragmented sentences,

Stitch your open scars, let you heal yourself and will tightly hold your hand in the process.

Somebody will look at you as if you're a masterpiece framed in one of those old museums.

Somebody will spare you a time as you are precious, you are worth it.

Somebody will... somebody may happen someday or forever in a dream.

Deep down, I realized that I am that someone I have been dreaming of all my life. In the mirror that 3 a.m., dancing alone with my shadow, laughing at my own humor, the one who understands, the one who stood still in all the hurricanes of mental breakdowns. Who held my hand every single time I'll be found on the verge of falling. I was after all my somebody, the one whom I'm meant to fall in love with. Sometimes you fall asleep in a dream and wake up in a nightmare. Sometimes we need that one thing that'll slap us hard back in the present or throws a cold water in our faces to wake us up no matter how shocking or unlikely reality is.

Growth is becoming wiser, to ponder rather than to procrastinate and knowing when to let go of some dreams. "Some Dreams"

Written by Merryl Acuin

Photo from Tumblr- minted-moodboards. tumblr.com "Aesthetics"

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8-MYD9BrMH8-g3Hrte1uI2Yjx_UN-kICZRgg40/?igshid=hvqpq9umkmmn

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I said I would stop writing. Then, the next day I found my hands itching for the pencils. In a reverie, filled with air nuzzling scent of old paper and coffee beans. In a heart struck vision of the sea in vibrant colors of blue with the sun. I found myself floating in the outer space rhyming words with your name. Words from Merryl Acuin "Look, these are The Lethal Things, Love can make you do." Photo from Pinterest by James and Megan "Galaxy" https://pin.it/fsrqnqhksgwmgy https://www.instagram.com/p/B5xrp8Ahzb7t_5_WhELj7GyHWSTG859s9aF9ds0/?igshid=p02yr4m5vork

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I am enchanted by you, the way your eyes stares and your lips perk. Your eyelashes seem like the waves greeting the sands. You remind me of the sky, pink and beautiful. You seem like a promise, I want to hold your hand and jump off the cliff. You are the sun set and the break of dawn that both holds hopes. Today you are a daydream and in my darkest, I hope I've found the one who seizes my nightmares. You are all the stars spread to the horizon of my empty sky. You are the beacon of light guiding me out of this cold, dark tunnel of memories from the past and self-loathing. You are the warm bed, reaching out to my tired legs. Gently telling me that I needed to rest. The pillow of comfort and the blanket of security. I want to be as genuine as the clouds or the sky, or the sea, I want to be the one that calms your demons and gives you peace. I want to risk in falling, knowing that it will be another death of me. I am the moon and I want to kiss the sun knowing that it will burn me to ashes. I want to be scared making the first step, knowing that if I don't start it to begin with I will be alone and being alone without you is what terrifies me the most... I want you to know me by the soul, bare and vulnerable. I hope my anxiety will not scare you, I hope the most terrifying thought won't scare you away. I want to break the distance and embrace you with all my heart. I want to embrace all the uncertainties and all these thoughts of anomalies. I want to take off this heavy suit, I want you to know that I'm fragile. I am anxious in the idea that in falling we have the tendency to crash. My dear, in crashing I will face the mud and the maddening ideas of pain. This time again, I am horribly scared to lose myself... Because when you're floating high in a sea of orange clouds you forget things and I mostly forget myself. This is how the brain works when you fall in love, you dig deeper, you dug dirt, you tend to overthink things and still bury yourself. "How the brain works when you fall in love" Artwork by Gabriel Avram Words from Merryl Acuin https://www.instagram.com/p/B5ubWLch0ZqDP4rwDWAQOu4wedz-g3BlEcdOIQ0/?igshid=hpkl6caltbh2

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Have you ever dreamt of finding yourself in your own grave stuck up in your old pile of dirty laundries? Old grudges you can't seem to wipe out of your tiny brain. You wake up crying because you have this realization that somehow you've slept in your reality. And this reality is a nightmare you have been dying to get away from. There are days I would want to float in an eternal slumber. Submerge myself into the abyss. However, I made a promise to keep living and to nurture whatever pain or suffering may happen to come my way. I made a promise to myself, I will not abandon life again. There are days I will be dragging myself down to my own pit of darkness. In my silence, I will be dwelling, drowning in the past and picking up the old questions still left unanswered. I will be lodging a place in the past and forget about the present. I will be keeping myself on my own shelf of procrastination, my comfort zone- my blue walls of dismay. There are days that I am just the crippled stuck in her broken time machine. "The crippled stuck in her broken time machine" Photo by Stephen Gwaltney Words by Merryl Acuin https://www.instagram.com/p/B5gf-rgBuT57IjNp6H_FoWmyjoTtoPVIAiUSo80/?igshid=1ux0y9hngmfzj