tomyluna

[tomyluna]

my mother's mind is tired, and her daughter's soul is no better.

her heart is heavy, mine is too.

two women lost in silence, trying to hold on to the present as the days blur by.

we don't have the answers—were just breathing through the weight of now.

then my mother's smile fades a little more each day, and i—her daughter— learning to survive with a heart just as fragile.

were not living— just existing.. moment by moment.

[tomyluna]

im waiting you

countless snowflakes fell

you come when the sun comes

we run

we run away

anything for you

anywhere for you

[tomyluna]

im just here... spending my time in my room, dating books and cuddling with music

[tomyluna]

if language is poetry and music is a symphony, then you are the kind of art—a brushstroke the universe could never recreate

[tomyluna]

my books arrived, and im so excited that i can't read them right away,, im just admiring the book for five minutes... i feel dizzy and need to calm myself first.........

[tomyluna]

oh, we’re already adults (calling myself an adult huh? yes, iam. alpha girls here). we don’t need to obey those old family rules anymore—blah blah blah. for what? for our parents’ sake?! nah. i don’t want to live like that anymore. i live for my own life. i choose what i want. i’ll do it for my own happiness. be brave. take risks. we're growing, not meant to be stuck forever in that way. just do what you want, because you live your own life. and who’s going to regret what you’ve done? thats yourself. i feel sorry for you then.

[tomyluna]

Philli . . . that’s what i call the tree that always kept me company at school, where i found solace after class.

gonna miss the moments of waiting for dad to pick me up– it’s where peace lingers and time slows down.

a quiet sanctuary i’ll carry with me, with the breeze whispering and stillness beneath its branches.

some goodbyes are soft, but they stay forever.

[tomyluna]

i've written my sorrow into a romance, when the curtain rises soon, i whispering to myself, 'the show is about to begin, hold your pose even if it hurts'.

[tomyluna]

why do my own words hit me so hard when i read them back? lol

[tomyluna]

— pretending it’s poetic, even when it hurts.

[tomyluna]

finding beauty even in the sadness that quietly destroys me

[tomyluna]

as if sadness itself is something worth loving.

[tomyluna]

oh im just, "anak perempuan pertama, anak perempuan satu-satunya, dan cucu perempuan pertama"

[tomyluna]

you're kind to everyone — until it breaks you. until you forget your own worth. until you stop treating yourself the way you treat others

[tomyluna]

god, today i cried like the world was ending, because i realized no one’s out there. no one to hear me. no one to hold what’s breaking inside me.

i keep giving, bending, breaking, becoming what they expect, what they need—but who the hell ever asks what I need?

i’m so fucking tired. tired of pretending. tired of smiling. tired of being the one who's always 'fine'.

i want a shoulder. i want a goddamn voice to answer mine. someone who listens, who gets it—who talks about the same stupid shows i love, who stays, who stays, who fucking stays.

but here iam—spending my teenage years in a silent war with everything. with family. with rules. with loneliness so loud it eats me.

and fuck it. i just wanted a friend. a person to sit beside me like i wasn’t invisible.

but maybe it’s just a dream. just a cruel little dream. and maybe the real enemy...

is me.

[tomyluna]

i romanticize every moment of my life, yet deep down, i’m just a lonely girl — a hopeless romantic with no one to love, drowning in the ache of wanting someone to give it all to

[tomyluna]

ku meneteskan air mata pertama ku dibulan maret ini. sungguh bukan karena itu ayah. sungguh bukan. tetapi, anak perempuan pertama mu ini tidak ingin mengatakannya di depan mu.

memalsukan tiap inci mimik muka. menahan keinginan dan mimpi untuk diwujudkan. bersembunyi dalam manisnya perkataan. ku bercerita yang sesungguhnya pada langit langit kamar yang menjadi saksi menetesnya air mata.

tenanglah diriku, bersabarlah, biarkan hidup ini berjalan seperti biasanya sebentar, sebentar lagi, dan kamu akan bahagia kemudian.