tooper21

[tooper21]

Some of yall need to be more embarrassed about what yall say online and im not talking about the fandom people because at least they have friends that share their niche interests. Some of yall dont even have that and be on here talking to strangers any kind of way and then wonder why ur lonely. Like girl it’s because u are awful to be around

[tooper21]

One of the baristas at a nearby Starbucks makes me lose my mind every time I’m there by saying things that are not outside the spectrum of normal human words but are just slightly off-the-wall.

Barista: Welcome to Starbucks, home of delicious, what deliciousness can I put in motion for you today?

Customer: … Can I get a trenta pink drink please?

Barista: Go big or go home, we here at Starbucks appreciate your commitment, what else can I get started for you?

***

Customer: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.

Barista: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else today?

***

Barista: *slams open drive-thru window* HI HOW ARE YOU?

Customer: …I’m pretty good.

Barista: Are you ready to be even better? Because you’re about to be. *hands them their coffee* 

***

Barista, realizing that a drink was made wrong: *slams open window* SO how do you feel about surprises?

Customer: ….they’re okay.

Barista: Great because I’m about to give you one.

***

Barista: You have two drinks so I am going to hand you two straws which means, FANTASTIC news, these straws double as drumsticks. / You have one drink so I am going to hand you one straw and, promise not to tell anyone, this straw doubles as a magic wand.

***

Barista: Here are those cake pops, I plucked them fresh from the tree myself.

***

Barista: *slams open window, holding drink* Amazing, fantastic, delicious, you are a very lucky man/woman!

***

Barista, realizing drink is being delayed or remade: Looks like it’s gonna be just one minute so they have time to put the extra love in.

***

Barista: I’ll be with you in one hot second. *beat* WOW that second sure was hot!

Anyway she has a few dozen catchphrases she rotates approriately and it’s both distracting and fantastic to listen.

[tooper21]

there are two competing sects on this website - one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "neurodivergent" and one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "sexual content." i do not like either of them

[tooper21]

[tooper21]

[tooper21]

hate an x reader fic do not put me in a situation

[tooper21]

AAAAAAAAaaaa

[tooper21]

Okay. Is it an adult cartoon or is it a familyguylike

[tooper21]

[tooper21]

כנגד ארבעה בנים דיברה תורה. חכם, רשע, תם, וזה שאינו יודע לשאול. אבל הכל השתנה כשאומת האש החליטה לתקוף

[tooper21]

כנגד ארבעה בנים דיברה התורה: got, prep, jock, nerd

[tooper21]

בינתיים, ביקום מקביל (טוויטר ישראל):

[tooper21]

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

[tooper21]

Im hyperventilating

[tooper21]

The longer I exist as a loudly proudly gay man the more I think that cishet men aren't actually attracted to women.

[tooper21]

Do a little dance. Make a little love. Get the FUCK down tonight.

[tooper21]

there is still time never kill yourself etc etc