totallycorrectmasseffect

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Kaidan: I don't care where everyone ended up but are you all alive and not in jail?

Joker: Not in jail.

Shepard: Alive?

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Shepard: I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life decisions and deep rooted self loathing.

James: Oh yeah it's called straight tequila.

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Samantha: Girls are so hot.

Cortez: Guys are really hot too.

Kaidan: Why is everyone so hot?

Edi: Global warming.

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

James: Lola you just need to relax.

Shepard: I've taken three valium, if I get any more relaxed I will literally die.

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Shepard: When have I ever done anything rash or irresponsible?

Anderson: I keep a list, it's alphabetized.

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Council: Don't try to do anything stupid.

Shepard: I don't have to try.

Council:....

Shepard: Oh whatever.

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Tali: Shepard I know you miss Kaidan, but you can't just sit in the dark listening to classical music.

Shepard: I could if you hadn't turned on the light and shut off my stereo.

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Shepard: From now on you can call me eagel one.

Shepard: Garrus is been there done that.

Shepard: Kaidan is currently doing that.

Shepard: Javik is it happened once in a dream.

Shepard: James is if you ever asked.

Shepard: And as for Liara you're eagel two.

Liara: Oh thank god.

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Wrex: It's bad enough I'm stuck with you and the lieutenant making eyes at each other.

Shepard: I don't make eyes....

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Garrus: I hate being a third wheel.

Shepard: Oh please. You know, you've been a third wheel with me and Kaidan for so long, I think of us like a tricycle.

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Kaidan: Is that your hand on my ass?

Shepard: It was an accident.

Kaidan: Shepard, your hand is still on my ass.

Shepard: It's still an accident.

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Conrad: One day I'll be Shepard's second husband.

Kaidan: What happened to me?

Conrad: Nothing anyone can prove.

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Shepard: Time sensitive question, how do I flirt with boy?

Ashley: Throw rocks at him.

Wrex: Kill him.

Shepard: Thanks guys.

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Chakwas: You shouldn't drink so much coffee.

Shepard: It cures depression.

Chakwas: It doesn't work that way.

Shepard: More espresso less depresso.

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Shepard: Are you okay?

Miranda: Yes, I just have this headache that comes and goes.

*Jack walks by*

Miranda: There it is again.

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Shepard: *strums guitar* I love you bitch.

Kaidan: Oh my god.

Shepard: I ain't ever gonna stop loving you bitch.

[totallycorrectmasseffect]

Joker: Best response to getting stabbed?

Kaidan: Rude.

Ashley: That's fair.

Shepard: Not again.

Wrex: So do you want this back or can I keep it?