totori9

[totori9]

Electronics Intermittent Fasting

Y'all know what intermittent fasting is. You set a time block for when you eat, when you're not in that time block you fast.

Try the same thing with electronics!!!

What to do?

The technique:

Allot an 8 hour time slot during which you're allowed to use electronics.

Also:

1) Work is not excluded. If you work 8 hours a day on a screen, you'll either have to set your time block for those eight hours or use the screen less.

2) Electronics like a kettle, the oven, lamps,... are obviously always allowed.

3) Adapt to your needs. You'll likely still want to use messenger apps or music (in the background, e.g. while reading a book -> what matters is spending time on the screen directly).

That was all you need to know! For whatever reason, you can skip the example and jump straight to the conclusion.

Example

We use ipads in school, i. e. I need to use electronics by default. I can't use paper instead because that's very impractical!

So my time slot is from 8 am to 4 pm. Technically, school starts at 7:40 but for simplicity's sake I use 8. Most days, I'm not even home by 4 pm. Which means that I have zero phone/gaming time left!

I don't want that!! So what'd I do? First, let's look at my experience after roughly 3 weeks:

Checked on my phone games in school. Because I don't have much time and would rather socialize than spend time on my phone, I very quickly do what I need to do and then stop.

Stopped opening apps for no reason.

Downloaded interesting videos/articles to watch during commute.

Soooo bored!!!

Soooo much time!!!

Because of the above, I started picking up hobbies. When you're bored, you just have to do something. I read, drew, meditated, cleaned, baked, gardened, walked, jogged, worked out, thought, studied, ...

When I did get to spend time on my phone, which was like once a weekday and on the weekend, I somehow didn't want to. Even though I could've binged 8 hours straight, I spend majority of that time productively. Learned something, watched a documentary, or, when playing games, played with more awareness - no doing things just for the instant gratification, I actually thought about what I wanted to do and did just that. I didn't waste my time, I used it. Stopping also became easier.

One thing I allowed myself was one (1) YouTube video a day after having completed all tasks. BUT with a catch! I could only choose from my Watch Later (which is mostly really educational vids) and I had one minute to choose. Didn't even do this every day!

I want to say at this point: It was HARD. But I pulled through. I am so so so proud of myself!!!!! Before, I was on my phone literally the entire day, not kidding, every waking moment. Had to give my phone and laptop to my parents and hid the TV remote.

I was just super determined. I know exactly what I want in life, and I'm gonna get it, even through all my tears and fears and anxiety and problems. The thought of having had the chance of living my dream life and having thrown it away because of a stupid fucking fear scares me more than anything. I've been addicted before, I know that it's hard, and it's okay to fail. You just have to get back up and keep improving ever so slightly, always keeping in mind that you can and will get better.

Sheesh, 'twas heavy!

What would've definitely helped would've been a routine and set hobbies. BUT I'm still working on implementing those, so yeah, too bad I guess!

Conclusion

(Probable) Pros

More time

More mindful

More productive

More disciplined

Probably also happier

Cons

Less flexible in your usage (Not less flexible with emails/text messages)

Bored (Not really a con)

Thank you so much for reading!!! Bless you!!! Hope this helped, please try it out - what are your thoughts?

[totori9]

Why being a "smart kid" SUCKS

Because being smart becomes your identity.

It cripples you because you don't develop like a normal person.

You use your intelligence to get by socially; that becomes really exhausting.

You never learn to work hard, or rather, you're afraid of working hard, because

"What if I fail? Then I'm stupid! And If I'm stupid then I'm nobody, I'm worthless!"

You're used to things being effortless. You're smarter, faster, have a better memory - so naturally you can't fail.

You're jealous of the kids who are allowed to, whom nobody bats an eye at when they make a mistake. But when you answer the question wrong, suddenly everyone is all up your ass.

What probably happens, is that you start isolating yourself.

"If I never put myself in situations where I may make mistakes, I'll be safe."

"I don't want to become aware that other people are smarter, better than me. Because then, what do I have left? I'll crumble!"

Eventually, you may become arrogant. Logic away your worries.

"The reason I'm socially inept isn't because of my social skills; it's because I'm just too smart! I'll never get along with normal people!"

Nah bro, the reason you're socially inept is because you shut yourself off and never got to practice. Because you never got those emotion-tied-skills but because you use your IQ to calculate and navigate social situations. While yeah, that may work, but it'll eventually lead to failure. You'll be inauthentic and burned the fuck out.

So, logically, your new goal should be to practice natural conversation. This means, talking without thinking. Sounds bizarre, I know, and it's not exactly correct, because of course you think during a conversation. What I mean is, being able to converse based on emotional responses and reactions, not only based on logical responses and reactions. Does this make sense to you?

So how do get there?

Throw away your identity.

What? No! That's scary!

Of course!! You're throwing your belief system out the window! But that system was polluting your house, it's bad for you, you won't ever be able to breathe freely without it gone!

Also, why even make your IQ your identity? Isn't an identity made up of what we achieved - or didn't achieve? How did you achieve intelligence!? It was given to you, you didn't work for it, you don't even have the right to be proud of it!

Your intelligence isn't you, it's an inherent part of you, like born flexibility.

What is you, is what you make of what you've been given.

So realize that in order to build an identity, you will have to make mistakes and that's totally fine. Take up hobbies you're not the best at, go to that class you don't wanna go to because it's humiliating, raise your hand in class, say stupid shit and let others say stupid shit and laugh about it, build the person you wanna be by not being afraid of failure.

And you know what the good thing about you is? Your intelligence!! I've kinda shat on that in this post, but you're legitimately gifted with a great tool. Why? Because you have the ability to learn quickly. And the more we know, the easier life gets.

To conclude:

Stop defining yourself by your intelligence. Recognize that your IQ is just another part of you that makes certain things easier!

I'm proud of you for even considering this, it's a really difficult thing to do. But it's do-able and 100 % worth it!

Cognitive empathy stems from logic, while emotional empathy stems from, well, emotion. Smart kids usually rely on cognitive empathy - that's a problem because social situations become tasks, and that's exhausting and annoying.

[totori9]

The brain rusts with misuse and grows with use.

[totori9]

Why you people please

Think of your own worth. Now think of someone else's worth. In your mind, is that person worth more than you?

Yes.

Therefore, if you want to gain self-worth, you need other people to like you. So you try to please them.

"If others like me, I will be worth something."

But think about it. How much must others like you for your worth to be proven? How much positive recognition does it take for you to realize your self-worth???

The answer is: More.

You will never have enough. You will never love yourself or be proud by people pleasing. So work on knowing your intrinsic worth.

"I am valuable because I exist."