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i went to the SCP website

 this shouldn’t be so funny to me

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I thought Old Man Yaoi was like a specific person or entity. Like you walk down to the river, there’s Old Man Consequences, you walk down to the oak tree there’s Old Man Sensibility, and then you walk into the gay club and you’ll never guess who it is

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theyre siblings

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burger restaurant worker: hello welcome to the burger restaurant

a burger eater: i would like to order a burger

burger restaurant worker: here is a burger

a burger eater: yay *eats burger*

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cinderella...

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I think it's a shame that "Oedipus complex" refers to fucking your mom instead of the actual point of his story, fulfilling your destiny through your attempts to avoid it. It just so happens his destiny was to fuck his mom

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when i take my phone case off i feel concern and fear knowing that some people just rawdog their phone like that like its so slippery girl you are carrying around a little fish

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Love when some stupid bullshit app i was forced to install for a singular purpose even though i knew i'd never use it again in my life has the audacity to send me a notification and remind me of its pathetic existence like You fool. had you kept silent, i might have allowed you to languish, forgotten, on the third page of my homescreen for another few months. but no, you simply couldn't resist. "☀️ Mornings are brighter with Zippadee! 😊✨" i'll shoot you like a dog

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what a joy! my friends! :)

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*through gritted teeth* the world is GOOD. people are kind. Humans are NOT inheritly selfish. you will make it through this year. recovery is possible. people you don't know yet will love you. You are going to do things you can't even imagine right now. You are going to read a rlly good book. You are going to eat some rlly good food. You are going to experience joy again. Things can get better. Situations can change. You can choose to be kinder. The world can change for the better.

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“I’m a top” “I’m a bottom” okay???? I’m a dumb teen boy??? I eat sticks and rocks and mud????

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i desperately need to punch like half of all my mutuals parents

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beloved mutual’s sillyposting has left the realm of endearing relatability and has taken on a distinctively absurdist theme. which could mean nothing

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the problem with boxes of crackers/cookies/chips is you eat 2 of them and they you look down and realize you ate the whole box while you werent looking

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I really liked it when The Crane Wives said ooo ooo ooo oo ooo ooo oooo ooo ooo