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Week 33: The Difference Between Helping and Enabling

Learning to step back so others can step into their own strength I’m just going to be honest here… it wasn’t until I was almost 40 that I even knew what enabling meant. For most of my life, I thought helping someone was one of the many ways you showed love. I was a fixer, a doer, a rescuer, and I truly believed that was a good thing. When I stepped in, I felt needed, useful, even important. It…

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Week 32: Creating a Life That’s Mine

There’s something powerful about carving out a life that is fully your own, one that reflects your values, desires, and personal growth. It’s easy to fall into patterns or expectations that come from others or from the world around you, but crafting a life that’s truly yours takes conscious effort, self-awareness, and, above all, courage. I’ve often heard people say that life is about finding…

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When a Trigger Hits Like a Freight Train

I wish I could say my recovery only moves forward, but this week reminded me that healing sometimes takes a sharp detour. One phone call turned into a full-blown emotional flashback, and before I knew it, I was reacting like the person I used to be, not the one I’ve worked so hard to become. Early in my 52-Week Blogging Challenge for Codependency, I wrote about subtle triggers and how I try to…

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Overcoming the Fear of Being Alone

How I Learned to Embrace My Own Company The timing of this topic couldn’t be better. Just last night, I came across a social media post that spoke directly to this, and it really hit home. I’ll share it at the end of this post. There was a time when being alone felt like torture. I couldn’t sit in a quiet room without my thoughts throwing a full-blown parade. The silence wasn’t peaceful; it was…

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Week 30: What Authenticity Feels Like

Letting Go of Who I Thought I Had to Be Back in the day, I used to think I was authentic. I really did. I believed I was being real with myself and others because I was so deep in my codependent patterns, I couldn’t see that I was about as fake as they come. Not intentionally. I wasn’t lying or pretending in an obvious way. I was just constantly editing myself, smoothing the rough edges, and…

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Week 29: How I’ve Reclaimed My Identity

Rediscovering Who I Am Outside of Codependency For a long time, I didn’t really know where I ended and everyone else began. I was a master adapter, shifting who I was depending on who I was with, what they needed, or what I thought they expected. I confused people-pleasing with kindness and lost myself in the process. Somewhere along the way, my identity got tangled up in approval, roles, and…

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Week 28: The Connection Between My Mind, Body, and Spirit

Reconnecting the Dots: Mind, Body, and Spirit in My Recovery For most of my life, I lived in my head. My thoughts were constantly spinning, analyzing, anticipating, overthinking, people-pleasing, worrying about how I was being perceived, and running imaginary conversations on loop like a bad sitcom rerun. My body? Ignored. My spirit? I wasn’t even sure what that meant. When I started…

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Old habits may visit but they don't get to move back in.

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Week 26: Letting Go of Deep-Rooted Resentment

Letting Go of Deep-Rooted Resentment: Releasing the Weight I Didn’t Know I Was Carrying For a long time, I didn’t even realize what I was feeling was resentment. I just figured feeling frustrated or a little For a long time, I didn’t even realize what I was feeling was resentment. I just figured feeling frustrated or a little bitter was normal. I didn’t really see that I was carrying it around…

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Week 25: Healing the Subconscious Mind

Healing the Subconscious Mind: Changing the Scripts That Once Controlled Me If you had asked me years ago whether I had deep-rooted subconscious patterns running my life, I would have confidently said no. I was just trying to help everyone, that’s all. That was the first clue. On my blog, JourneyOnStrong.com, I have shared a lot about my path through codependency and people-pleasing recovery.…

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Week 24: Evolving Boundaries Over Time

Evolving Boundaries Over Time: How My Lines Shifted as I Grew When I first started my recovery from codependency, I thought boundaries were just walls you put up to keep people from hurting you. I imagined them as invisible force fields that kept everyone at a painful distance. Honestly, I wasn’t wrong for where I was at the time. I needed distance, space, and a strong “no” because I didn’t know…

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Week 23: How I Respond to Guilt Trips

How I Respond to Guilt Trips (Without Losing Myself) There was a time when a sigh, a disappointed glance, or a few carefully chosen words could send me into a spiral of guilt. I’d drop everything to smooth things over, even if I wasn’t the one who caused the problem. That’s the grip guilt had on me and how deeply codependency shaped my sense of responsibility. Early on in my recovery, I didn’t…

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Week 22: The Difference Between Walls and Boundaries

The Difference Between Walls and Boundaries: Finding the Sweet Spot Between Openness and Protection When I first began to set boundaries, it was confusing and difficult. I used to think I was setting healthy boundaries, but in reality I was building emotional walls, tall and thick ones. I told myself it was self-protection, a way to keep the chaos out. But really, I was shutting everyone out,…

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Unapologetically Me: Celebrating 20 Years of Recovery and Growth

Today I’m Celebrating 20 Years of Recovery from Codependency and People-Pleasing!And yes—I’m throwing confetti (and maybe even dancing a little). Two decades. That’s 240 months, 1,040 weeks, and a whole lot of no’s I had to learn how to say. Today, I’m not just celebrating a milestone—I’m honoring every small, quiet, courageous step it took to get here. Recovery from codependency and…

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Week 21: When Boundaries Are Tested

When Boundaries Are Tested: Holding the Line When It’s Hard Because sometimes, “No” is a full sentence… even when it’s whispered through clenched teeth. Let’s talk about that moment when you’ve clearly drawn the line—and someone tries to tap dance all over it. You know the one: You’ve told a friend, “I’m not available to talk after 9pm.” And there they are, texting you a novel at…

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Week 20: How I’ve Built a Life That Reflects My True Values

How I’ve Built a Life That Reflects My True Values: Aligned, Caffeinated, and Content There was a time when my calendar was full, but my heart felt empty. I was busy, yes—but not with the things that truly mattered to me. Somewhere along the way, I had adopted someone else’s idea of success, and my choices reflected that: the overcommitting, the approval-chasing, the constant “yes” to everything…

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Week 19: The Power of Saying Yes to Myself

The Power of Saying Yes to Myself: Prioritizing Myself Without the Guilt There was a time when saying “yes” to myself felt like a betrayal to everyone else. If someone needed help, I was there. If someone needed something last-minute, I’d drop everything. If plans didn’t work for me, I’d still say yes—because saying “no” felt selfish. But somewhere along the way, I realized that always saying…