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Jatuh cinta lah di saat kamu siap. Ketika tubuh dan pikiranmu siap. Jatuh cinta memang tidak seindah itu.
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Terkadang aku ingin keadaan seperti dimana aku terlahir kembali tanpa harus memikul beban perasaan dan pengalaman yang begitu menyesakkan.
Terkadang aku ingin keadaan dimana aku masih belum mengerti apa2 dan tidak tahu apa2.
Mereset kembali, seakan mengosongkannya.
Supaya aku bisa memahami hal dengan murni dan tanpa ada intervensi ketakutan dan trauma.
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Karena aku sudah tidak ada keinginan, biarkan aku hidup ikhlas memenuhi keinginan orang2 terdekatku.
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If I am not your priority.
Please leave before I treat you bad.
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Orang manis bicara ada maunya. Orang berisik bodoh nampaknya.
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Kenapa sulit sekali mau mu hati? Kenapa hampir tiap bulan kamu merasa tidak bahagia. Coba apa yang salah? Dicaritahu penyebabnya kan bisa.
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No one really care enough about you except your family. That's the fact.
But if you've found one, glad to hear. Treasure him/her.
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There are still a time when I'm crying at the midnight time for no reason.
And I thought I just simply tired of everything. When I had a rough day, when things gone wrong, but I must hold it all day long. Because we adult must behave.
And somehow, I am just tired. But that's ok.
Tomorrow I will start a day with smile again.
P.s. In case if you see me being miserable and gloomy, but you dont know what to do. Here's some tips: may be you can lend me a hand and hold me tight. Don't say anything, dont ask me "why?" at that time. Because I already know what to do.
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If I can erase the habit of building expectation, The feeling of disappointed or hurted were not be here.
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Maybe there will come a day when I dont need to tell what I want..
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Inikah rasanya menjadi dewasa? Jujur sama perasaan sendiri aja sesulit ini rasanya. Banyak takutnya. Ah dia sih pernah datang. Meninggalkan pengalaman yang tidak baik.
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Do you notice when I am lying? I hope you do, because I am afraid of being honest. I am afraid of feeling disappointed and being hurted.
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Honestly, I am a fragile human who try to be strong. Deep in my heart, I want to tell the world that now I am grieving. But really world does like anyone who tells lies. So do I.
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I thought that I am a happy person. Because when I meet people, smile is always on my face. However, when I am only all alone, tears often fall down without a warning. What is wrong with me?
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