tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

"It might not even work, it's meant to show you your fears and get by them. For me it'd put me back in the gets. Or situations I had no control and force me to find my way out. To take control back. I don't know if they've mutated it into something awful or if it is meant to cause hallucinations or what. But it's no longer serving its purpose." He explained and held his head, "It was taken and I didn't notice until the f uhh cling reporter was back in the capitol, by then shed already handed it off to Snowman."

“Well to tell you the truth I’m not the best but as another truth I know you aren’t either.” He says with a light chuckle going to the small table and grabbing two glasses that were meant from wine but instead filling them with water in the bathroom. He looks around finding…

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

Dirk sighed and picked up the medicine bottle. "I made a simulator software. It was meant to help me cope with the games. It was stolen and guess who has it now." He said and took one. If john cared this much he might as well know the truth. "These kids will from my software." He explained.

“Well to tell you the truth I’m not the best but as another truth I know you aren’t either.” He says with a light chuckle going to the small table and grabbing two glasses that were meant from wine but instead filling them with water in the bathroom. He looks around finding…

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

He sighed and took the pills setting them on the table. It might be smart to take them but just like the night he was announced victor he refused anything the capital offered. And the pills was one he would refuse. "No, I'm not. But I don't want to talk either, because you'll just blame me for this year." He said looking at the glass like it held answers. Answers on how to get the nightmares to stop. On how to escape. On how to endure the price of survival. "Why'd you come check on me?"

Night Terrors

“Well to tell you the truth I’m not the best but as another truth I know you aren’t either.” He says with a light chuckle going to the small table and grabbing two glasses that were meant from wine but instead filling them with water in the bathroom. He looks around finding some medication in the bathroom that would help ease Dirk’s stress levels and comes back out handing one to Dirk and then the medicine to go with it. “Here this should help and before you ask it’s not going to hurt you I promise.” He says offering a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Do you need to talk about anything?” He asks taking a drink from his own glass not sure whether he’s allowed to sit on the edge of the bed or not.

“If you want me to leave I can just I thought it might help if you had someone to talk to that knew what the games were like and could understand what you’re going through.” He says smiling again just trying to calm Dirk down. By nature John had always been one to care about others more than himself and it really showed in this situation.

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

When the voice spoke up from the other side he grabbed a book off his nightstand, gripping it he waited for the door to open, when it didn't he took a couple breaths before allowing him entry the book still clenched in a white knuckle grip, one that would be difficult to break.

When John walked in Dirk tensed. He didn't know the other much. He knew he was  victor worked at a bakery and was on tour with another victor. That was it. He didn't think he knew much else. But by his appearance he could tell the other had just as much trouble sleeping. "yeah. I'm fine. You?" He asked trying to feign a mask of calm. It wasn't working and he knew it. It looked like a frightened animal right down to the wild bed head from sleeping in gel.

Night Terrors

John really had been trying his best to actually sleep tonight but with each time he closed his eyes it brought back new horrors from the games that left him plagued in terror.  Sleep. Sleep John. John you need sleep. Just go the fuck to sleep already John. there is nothing to be afraid of it all already happened. it’s over. RELAX. He talks himself down from the edge of a panic attack as he hears a shrill screaming from the next room and on instant he bolts up looking around the room in fear before he remembers where he is. 

Just breath and relax. Just the bedroom John. All is it is the bedroom. Innocent. Harmless. Bedroom. This month John had been touring with another victor that was around the same age as himself to continue with keeping up publicity when really all he wanted was to lock himself away in his bakery and never again see the surface. What was he doing again? What happened? He got too wrapped up in his own anxiety to remember what was going on. Oh. That’s right. The scream.

He pulls himself out of his bed trying to calm down his nerves as he shuffles down the train hallway to find where Dirk was. He didn’t know the other victor that well but he would have have to have been an amnesiac to not remember what a scream of pure terror like that sounds like. Soon he finds himself racing down the hallway knowing that the other would be scared and wanting to try and help before it escalated. 

Rather than just barging in and probably getting something thrown at him from the victors reflex he tentatively knocks on the door only coming in after having been given permission. “A-are you okay?” He asks knowing that Dirk isn't but not really knowing where to start besides that. John’s own appearence was less than put together with the messy hair, bloodshot eyes and shirt less torso being dead giveaways that he was having just as much problem with sleep as Dirk was having.

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

Night Terrors

Dirk was back in the arena. Standing on his block he looked at the cornucopia across from him. Sword. There. He could get it. Grab a bag. Run. Hide. That's the goal. Just Survive.

The horn sounded and he shot forward. Sprinting he grabbed the sword. Survive. That was it. Just Survive. Disctrict one girl swung a mace, ducking he slammed the hilt of his sword into her nose.

Grabbing a supply pack he swung it over his shoulder and darted away. Heading north.

The night was cold and wet. Rain fell in think sheets. All the product that was in his hair was gone and running into his eyes.

Pain. Back of his leg. He turned and heard a thunk. A knife embedded itself into the tree. No. Found. Jumping down he started running, weaving in and out of the bush he stopped and spun catching the girl with the hilt to the side of the head she fell. On instinct he drove the sword into her throat. Blood welling from her mouth as she drowned.

"That's why you're alone. You're a killer. You'll kill them this year." A voice echoed.

 Dirk shot up, a scream dying on his lips as his hand flew to cover his mouth. Alone. He was used to that by now. He rubbed his eyes and regretted the alcohol from the other night. One night of sleep with peace seemed to make the nightmares more real.

He yelped at the knock on his door.

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

Clinging to Jane he slept there unwilling to move or wanting to.

Letters

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

He took shakey breathes falling asleep on her. Tears still streaming down his face. But he was tired and sleepy and just emotionally exhausted.

Letters

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

He shrugged. Her words didn't help. He should have paid more attention. Instead of letting it get lost.

"Dont matter. I should have missed it sooner."

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

He nodded,"A few months ago i made a program, it was meant to help me cope, and i had reporters hasseling Me, basicll it sinulate whatever you want. Anything yiu think it can create, well i leftvit out and naturally the reporter wanted ti know what the eleven techie could do and stole it. I didnt realize it was missing. But they gave it to the gamemakers. And their using it to creaye the arenea. I dont know what it'll look like because I dont know snowmans head. So when the games begin, please don't be mad at me. Just prepare for anything and everything.

"Please.don't tell me.I'm awful.for.the.spftware. i know that. Jake told me and i have told myself that enough."

Letters

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

He shrugged staying curled around her like.a scared child. Something he rarely allowed himself to be unless around roxy. "Can I tell you something miss, I'm afraid I forgotten your name but that isn't what I want to tell."

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

"I didn't cry when I killed them. I turned myself off. Just like how I do for the capitol. I don't deserve any emotional release." He said taking gasping half breaths but not moving his face to while his tears. Finding his need to be attached to some thing real to valuable.

Letters

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

Dirk koala her just like he would Roxy becoming unmoving in his clinging. He cried and hiccupped like a small child, mumbling words of how he didn't deserve this emotional respite. If he couldn't cry in there arenas he didn't have the right to do so outside.

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

He looked at her the same scared of sleep look in his face. Not caring he did what he did with Roxy, though short Dirk was awkward and gangly, he crawled into Jane's lap and pressed his face against her neck before letting out a broken sob.

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

He looked at her nodding,"But I didn't have to practically torture them. I mean I didn't give them quick deaths. I hid and waited them out. Raiding camps little by little until they were willing to listen to what I had to say. I'd offer them toxic fruits or fish or whatever. They thought I was naive. I was just watching them be poisoned."

Dirk had kept a shoe box for times like this. After the incident with Jake he’d found a couple bottles of scotch bad bourbon. He’d thought of morphine but he still wanted to feel and he retreated to a more private part of the residence.

After going inside he opened the box and opened the scotch….

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

He nodded at her. "I was homeless before. Great up stealing from anyone and everyone. My mum....she and my dad kept letters.....every time they saw me in the streets, My birthday holidays.....they wrote one....they were scared to approach me scared I'd hate them. They only person I hate is myself for causing them the pain I did. I got reaped and my dad killed himself. My mom kept living just to give me the letters. Since I won I haven't heard from her. But she may just not want to talk to a kid killer anymore then I did pre games." He said looking at the bottle like it held the keys to life.

He rubbed his eyes feeling tears gather,"The thing is I want to cry but know I don't deserve it. Not for what I did. I bled one girl like a pig and got sick. So I poisoned them all slowly starved them put deadly snakes in their camps. At the time I marked it off as a mercy killing.. It wasnt. Half if it was survival. Half a warning. Half a way to let out all my anger at the world. All it did was make me unstable and wishing I had died ninety percent of the time." He said and snorted,"but then, don't all victors eagerly await death?" He took a drink from the bottle rubbing his eyes again. "In truth,I'm just a scared kid. I want go to RoLal and cry and hold her like a tyke clinging to a mum."

He turned to look at Jane,"We're you mad when I killed your kids last year? I was so scared you guys would hurt me for being fifteen and killing older more experienced tributes. Am I wrong? Were you mad at me?" He said his voice growing softer.

Dirk had kept a shoe box for times like this. After the incident with Jake he’d found a couple bottles of scotch bad bourbon. He’d thought of morphine but he still wanted to feel and he retreated to a more private part of the residence.

After going inside he opened the box and opened the scotch….

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

He shrugged,"I guess. I don't do much talkin' though. Mostly listenin'. Are you a tribute or a Victor or some capitalist come to pester me again?" He asked looking at her, his eyes holding the tone of someone on the edge.of sleep but scared to go to sleep.

Dirk had kept a shoe box for times like this. After the incident with Jake he’d found a couple bottles of scotch bad bourbon. He’d thought of morphine but he still wanted to feel and he retreated to a more private part of the residence.

After going inside he opened the box and opened the scotch….

[tributesofbrobotsandsmuppets]

He shook his head,"Only if a pretty lady like yourself wants to sit by a sack of shit like me." He said. Drinking obviously didn't help him. It just made him feel worse. Maybe morphine would have been better. But then again, he might have accidentally killed himself in an over dose. Not something he wanted. Drinking himself sick seemed better then death. He'd regret it later. But it'd be better then death.

Dirk had kept a shoe box for times like this. After the incident with Jake he’d found a couple bottles of scotch bad bourbon. He’d thought of morphine but he still wanted to feel and he retreated to a more private part of the residence.

After going inside he opened the box and opened the scotch….