triflesandparsnips

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Okay.

You fucked up.

But look on the bright side.

At least you didn't "youtube essayist releases a 4-hour video on plagiarism and half of it is dedicated to exposing your channel, followed a day later by another youtuber releasing a 1-hour-40 minute video about the lies you just made up, and there's almost no overlap between the two" level fuck up.

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Adding credit here-- the original image is from @thatsbelievable!

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I love the TV show's added touch where you can 100% tell when MB is trying to sound like one of its serial action heroes swooping in to save the day. Like it so obviously hyped itself to come in there and deliver that line. It was rehearsing it in its head the whole walk back. And then it expected some kind of big theatrical reaction but instead they just stare at it because they're real people going through something instead of its fav fictional characters.

So then it's like. Hmm that didn't work. Let's try it again, more gusto this time, come on murderbot you can do it, alright here we go-

"I have...a...plan?"

And the only reply it gets that second time is the mumbled equivalent of gurathin saying "oh FUCK no" which is BRUTAL

Cringefail robot my beloved.

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I did not have "Murderbot blurts random Swedish words while malfunctioning, thus confirming that The Company *is* actually Space IKEA" on my TV show bingo card, but I'm living for it.

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MURDERBOT 1.10 "The Perimeter"

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it's crazy how plausible all the shit the corporations do in the murderbot diaries is. that one scene when murderbot was talking to those humans who had signed a 20 year corporate work contract and it asked them if the contract specified 20 years by the standard local calendar or by a proprietary calendar created by the company was downright unsettling 😬 if the ceos of modern earth companies read these books they would probably start crying because the government won't let them do most of this in real life.

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something something murderbot and the barbie movie are parallel stories of a thing, a construct, becoming a person in every slow and awkward piece of what that means but especially in their conception of the self and self-determination in a world where their identity has always been crafted and defined by people’s use of them

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When you encounter a problem, consider: have you tried evolving venomous spines about it?

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sharks every time theres a cataclysmic extinction event: damn thats crazy. anyway

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underrated funny part of system collapse is murderbot repeatedly being like 'no one knows wtf three wants to do ever because three doesn't know how to want things yet' but most of three's narration in network effect was 'i want to rescue murderbot. i want to do a good job rescuing murderbot. i hope i get a good grade in rescuing murderbot. i want to rescue murderbot so bad that im going to attempt to talk a terrifying murderous spaceship out of its plan for a planetary bombardment' mb just consistently says the most blatantly wrong shit about everyone it's ever met lmao

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Me: What the fuck. David Corenswet is Superman. The guy who built Star Wars Legos with my brother when they were 14. I knew he had an acting career, he did theater and commercials back then and he was in some Netflix stuff, but Superman?

Husband: congratulations, you are having the authentic experience of being Clark Kent's coworker

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something that I feel like is missing from fandom nowadays is the idea that you dont have to have a unified, chronologically/tonally consistent interpretation of your favorite work. your fics dont have to fit within the same version of canon, even if theyre all canon-compliant on their own. your headcanons can contradict each other. be a multishipper. write metas that take two totally different interpretations of the same plot point. write a character as a villain and then write them as the hero next time. write a character as a lesbian and then write them as straight next time! engage in hypotheticals and drop them when you get bored! make up the rules as you go!! have fun with it!!!

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okay notes on the romeo & juliet production i saw the other day:

set in modern-day appalachia and going in i didn't think too hard about that beyond "oh cool" but it worked really really well. gave the whole thing an intense vibe of "this town has been left behind by the rest of america and everyone thinks we're backward assholes and we're clinging to all the pride we have left in our families and our history even when it's history we should actually probably let go of." like rewired my brain for real i had not considered the degree to which the city of verona can be a character in itself

also they played live music!!! mostly folk/country; the show opened with mercutio on guitar singing "ain't no grave" & everyone else joined in

the cast also did a very short reprise at the end which did something to my brain. something about how the play opens telling you what's going to happen and then ends with it happening, but this version of the play opens with a promise of life beyond death and ends with the actors standing up and shaking themselves off and smiling

looooots of folksy singing at the capulet ball. mercutio and benvolio got romeo to do a very dejected drum accompaniment, which he did like he was being tortured UNTIL

juliet did a banjo cover of nina simone's "when i was a young girl" and it was incredible and lovely and also lyrically devastating in context

and THAT was what got romeo's attention and got him to start engaging socially with anyone

romeo was wearing a tina turner shirt :)

tybalt meanwhile was wearing a natty lite shirt

paris looked exactly like a pedro/napoleon dynamite lovechild. i'm sorry for saying it that way but there's no other way to put it. he had the curly hair and the doofy mustache and these dorky overalls and probably a pocket protector. normally i have very few feelings about paris but i really felt bad for this paris; he was clearly just another kid emotionally in over his head and he didn't seem to know what was going on at ANY point which emphasized how much he was just collateral damage in the violence

all of the actors were amazing but the absolute standout was juliet. this juliet was SO good. this juliet is going to be the defining juliet interpretation in my head until the end of fucking days

she was soooooo thirteen years old. so angsty shy gangly teen always hovering between being brilliant + still being the girl who hugs her parents and clings onto their arm and hides her face in their shoulders. the actress was SO good at hitting the exact mark of displaying how bright and determined juliet is and also how she is soooooooooooooo scowly little preteen

also her pajamas were PJ shorts and a britney spears shirt

very good tybalt. he was hot-headed as any tybalt would be but he honestly felt a little hotspurcore--at the capulets' ball when he saw romeo, everything about his body language and tone of voice was very clearly communicating not JUST anger but deep confusion/frustration about why he was the only person taking shit seriously. the feud runs everybody's life and yet in this scene he is the ONLY person who seems to understand that and he looked genuinely disoriented that lord capulet told him off

which lord capulet did do. loudly. to the point where everyone else at the party started looking nervously in their direction even when lord capulet was like "aha no keep partying <3"

i know i'm saying this about every character but fantastic mercutio. he hit the exact right note of being 80% dickhead teen who causes problems on purpose and 20% Abruptly And Darkly Intense In A Scary Way. also he carried the guitar around all the time and sang lewd jokes at people

during the queen mab speech he got benvolio to act out being the fairies' charioteer, which benvolio did by hunching down in a carriage-driver pose and making a gargoyle sound

i thought they weren't using fake blood because sometimes you just have to imagine the blood with your beautiful mind. and then the duel scene hit and ohhhhh man. mercutio did his first “i am hurt!” like when you stub your toe. and then he turned around and i heard someone in the audience make a sound because it was GUSHING. romeo rushed over to hold him up and mercutio collapsed into him with this sort of desperate exhaustion and you could hear the blood continuing to dribble and slop around on the floor it was NASTY AND LOUD

his wound was just your generic actor's faked stab wound. but romeo slit tybalt's throat. and tybalt had been intense and scary up to that point but after killing mercutio he was clearly wobbly and as romeo held the knife up he went "no, wait--" very small

and then, unlike mercutio (who died offscreen), he thrashed around on the floor for like a full thirty seconds

juliet's "tybalt is dead that would have killed my husband so i gotta stop crying" was transparently her trying to convince herself not to mourn tybalt but then she broke down sobbing again

that ^ scene was intercut with romeo and the friar talking about banishment so both of them were on stage at once but still unable to reach each other. very good

my beef with the friar + nurse is always "how are you THIS reckless with leaving these kids to their own devices when you have each had to talk each of them down from suicide like three times" and in this one. when the nurse found juliet "dead" in her coma. she thought juliet was sleeping until she found the empty vial of sleeping draught. and for a second she didn't yell for the capulet parents she just stared at the vial in total devastation. not surprised at all. just horrified.

and then when she screamed for juliet's parents she shoved the vial in her coat so they wouldn't see it. maybe to protect juliet or maybe so they didn't have to know

my shocker dark horse second favorite role interpretation was honest to god lord capulet. which is incredible because i've hated him violently since i read this play in high school english. but the actor very obviously had an EXTREMELY clear picture of his motivations and also that he loved his kid so fucking much

like far be it from me to defend the guy who screams at his daughter and threatens to throw her out on the street (he was frightening in that scene. really well-acted) but in every interaction between them up to that point his pride and adoration for her shone out of his body language. and at the start of that scene before he started yelling juliet (sobbing) ran up to him and grabbed him in a hug and he looked distraught

very painfully clear that he was trying to make her feel better. and also stressed out of his mind, especially after tybalt died, but mostly that he was really really really fucking worried about his daughter and trying desperately to make her better but always picking the exact wrong thing. STILL AN ASSHOLE! but devastating!

and when everyone thought juliet was dead the nurse + lady capulet were screaming but lord capulet just sat next to comatose juliet and very gently put her head in his lap and started stroking her hair murmuring "shh, shh" like man it takes a LOT for me to believe that man sees juliet as anything but a bargaining tool but THEY SOLD ME ON IT!

and then the nurse FUCKING SANG THE NINA SIMONE SONG AGAIN AS THEY CARRIED HER BODY OUT

romeo died very peacefully. he drank the poison + he kissed juliet + then he settled down next to her like he was falling asleep. but juliet. ohhhh god. juliet stabbed herself because that's what juliet does and it wasn't an easy hollywood-shakespeare one-pretty-knife-movement-and-she-gasps-and-dies stabbing. it was slow and agonizing and she twisted the knife in her own stomach and then she was sort of thrashing around on stage hyperventilating in violent terror like she was reaching out for someone to rescue her

has anyone noticed that they both have the same last word which is "die." the word being die honestly matters way less to me than the two of them having the same last word. after their first conversation made a sonnet. always on the same exact page in their language

this ^ was the point at which i started bawling and then i did not stop for I Shit You Not A Real Human Hour

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Pride and Prejudice (1995) + Text Posts (7/?)

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harry and b’elanna’s work chatlog moodboard