try-punching-it

[try-punching-it]

[try-punching-it]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[try-punching-it]

[try-punching-it]

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

[try-punching-it]

[try-punching-it]

[try-punching-it]

We the jury find the villain hot

[try-punching-it]

What did you just call me? Cunt? Like the philospher?

[try-punching-it]

Girls just being girls!

[try-punching-it]

[try-punching-it]

please please please teach your children to cook while they still live under your roof. even the most elementary things can’t be overlooked. because i just had to show my 24 year old boyfriend how to use a potato peeler and now i need to lay down for an hour

[try-punching-it]

[try-punching-it]

Are you fucking kidding to me?

[try-punching-it]

This is what they mean when they say boys will be boys 😌

[try-punching-it]

“Neck lengths of birds + aggression: a study.”

By @inomnomcom

[try-punching-it]

LOOK AT THE BABY PIKACHU BEFORE PICHU EXISTED

[try-punching-it]

This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life