trytobenicesworld

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“Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.”

— Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore (via thoughtkick)

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I guess I shouldn't be on any social media when I'm missing someone. It's horrible as shit.

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The course of true love never did run smooth.

— William Shakespeare,  A Midsummer Night's Dream

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Ali Wong: Hard Knock Wife (2018)

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7 Difficult Things About Being an INFP

There are certainly many great things about being an INFP personality type. We’re highly creative individuals who inspire others. We have a rich inner world that allows us to escape the dryness of a life filled with routine and structure.

We show an amazing amount of compassion for others, despite being so different from the rest of the population. We’re deeply sensitive and caring, and the best part is that we usually don’t expect anything from anyone in return.

Yet, I feel there are a few challenges to being an INFP. Here are seven of them. INFPs, can you relate?

1. Never really being able to finish anything you start

We live in a world of endless possibilities, and we INFPs always want to explore something new. We are often good at starting something, but we are rarely able to finish as we expected — or worse, never at all.

If I were to write a list of things that I had started but left incomplete, I wonder if even that list would be completed. I have enrolled in tons of online courses over the years but I haven’t completed a single one. I barely finish any book I buy, and I don’t think I’ve ever watched a full season of any TV series.

I know our souls don’t know a thing about deadlines, but unfortunately, our bosses and professors do.

I was quite excited when I started out writing this article, but I feel really lucky to have completed it.

2. Not being assertive enough

When we’re alone, we often find ourselves playing a conversation with our best friend in our head, but when he or she shows up, we go quiet.

We have a rich inner world where we often speculate about ideal possibilities. But sometimes it acts more like a cage and prevents the words within us from finding their way out.

We are not assertive enough when it really matters, even if we were really excited and motivated going into the situation.

For example, I find it impossible to study the day before an exam even when I have not yet studied anything. I had not even started my physics project till the day before the submission deadline, but even on that day, I barely did anything. I am not much different from my peers, except that they do study the day before the exam, and they do complete the project before the deadline.

We usually procrastinate till the end, but even at the final moment, we make most of our decisions by either thinking, “Just let it go” or “Let’s see what happens.”

3. Over-planning or no planning at all

There are times when we check out every single book on a subject from the library, bookmark every single article available on the web, and watch every single video on YouTube. But we end up being confused and simply can’t figure out how to start planning our next travel adventure or writing our novel. Then we finally realize that this over-research was simply a way of procrastinating.

And there are times when we simply go with our gut feeling, with little or no planning at all. We simply move forward without caring about the details (thanks to our focus on the big picture), only to realize that we should have done a bit of research beforehand.

I wish I could be in the middle of this spectrum, but unfortunately, I often end up being on either extreme.

4. Offering compassion to people who don’t care about you

I don’t understand why I worry about inconveniencing the store clerk when he simply refuses to hear me. I don’t understand why I feel sorry for the professor who is correcting my not-so-perfect assignment who never seemed to care about my education.

I never understand why I feel guilty when I do not buy something from a salesperson (just because he used a few cute words), even though I know that it’s his job, and he just cares about his own profit.

5. Spending your energy constantly validating yourself instead of focusing on your goals

I don’t know how many I times I just keep telling myself that what I’m doing is okay, and I should not bother if someone does not like my idea. We INFPs sometimes move through a cycle of constant self-approval instead of working our way toward our goals.

For example, I want to start my own location-independent business rather than go to college. I know that in order to do that, I’ll need to develop some skills. I had this thought about four months ago, and a month later, I enrolled in college.

I have not taken any steps to start my business because I spend my time reassuring myself that I’m on the right track and I should just focus on the present. Today, I am exactly where I started. Had I focused on developing the relevant skills, I wouldn’t be enrolling for the next semester.

6. Worrying about helping others when the one who you should be helping is yourself

Even when we have no idea how we’ll pay our rent, we feel sorry for not giving money to a homeless person our own way home from being fired from our job.

I simply wish I could just let go when I come across moments when I find someone asking for help. But my highly sensitive soul simply doesn’t allow me to do so.

7. Having high standards but a low self-esteem

We think that we should be a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, but we do not want to enroll in a writing course because we feel we do not deserve that sort of luxury.

We think we should be able to code the next Facebook, but we are afraid of even trying to learn to code, because we feel we are not worth it.

We realize we need many things to achieve that “something,” but we feel unworthy of anything.

And that’s the only reason we feel like we’ve never achieved anything. Our high standards often backfire and lead us nowhere.

Despite all of theses problems, I love being an INFP. I just often find myself laughing at myself and wondering what on earth I am.

Source - Kumar Shashwat, IntrovertDear.com

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when you meet someone new  

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Sometimes, I just wish that humans are not created to be a social creatures. Carrying emotions and a common sense that has given to us is totally not easy. We have to deal with it. Sometime there is even a battle between brain and heart within ourselves, and we have to choose one of the side. Because it is impossible we win both. But then I remember, emotions we have is also a thing that made us to be "the best creatures" amongst all creatures.

No, but why does god put his trust on humans to take care of this universe? I am as a human being myself even scared of me. There are so many bad things happens and bad people out here, and probably I am counted as one of 'em. Then why does god even trust us?

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Hello my dear online diary,

I don’t know why rather than write something fictional, I prefer to write something real like what is tangled inside me. I’m a girl, it turned out I became a grown-ass woman, started to be confused with life. I just finished my studies for the bachelor level, and I thought by finished my study I’d be free or happy or whatever I wanted to be. 

I am extremely happy and grateful for that for sure. During my thesis writing process, I gained a lot of support from my friends and family. They cheered me up whenever I felt really confused, sad, frustrated, and have a mental breakdown. some of ‘em said that they were proud of what I’ve achieved, some of ‘em said don't compare myself to another, some of ‘em simply gave me a good series recommendation, or some of ‘em just took me on a trip that made me happy with the deep talk we had. 

Hey but life doesn't stop there. After finish my studies, I am happy but some other things came up. In my 22 years old, I still have a dramatic problem with my close friends. for whatever happened, deep inside me, I wanted to be someone who can easily forgive everyone. Like someone who got hurt so many times but could be extremely beautiful with their super good heart. I try to remember every good thing they did to me, good memories we have together, but why does this hurt me so much when they did this to me? she said she wanted to be honest towards me so that when I heard this issue from someone else I’d be “less hurt” because I’ve knew directly from her from the first place. 

But does anyone here knows why does it hurt so much when those closest people I knew talked shit behind me, then being so casually cruel in the name of being honest? they say “don’t think about it, we don’t have any bad thought about you, I am saying this because I don't want something worse to happen between us”. I hate that she said that. Like what kind of reaction do you want me to give to this confession? what do you expect from this? I’m just really tired of all of this. I wanted to quit for everything. 

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Winter in Vimperk, Czech Republic.

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Opinion or Question

Hi, been a while.

It is now 8:37 a.m Indonesia time and I don’t know why does my heart feel heavy during this time. It’s not like I’ve been through something really really bad, or something really really stressed me out (well now I am working on my thesis and I can’t say that I’m now on the happiest state of myself, but still, what I’m going through right now is not that hard like, whatever). So I wonder what is wrong with me?

Not long ago, I decided to make a new Instagram acc. I made that because I’ve been feeling anxiety for a long time, and I think by making a new one would help me to still “see” the world without seeing some other people’s update, which is the thing that makes me anxious. Ow, and I am not following my crush’s page on my second page. The updates will be so much about him and I am scared that’d make him uncomfortable. BUT, I follow my first account so I think my second account will be on everyone’s suggestion. I wonder does it also on his because my friend, Hansen, could find my acc. Shit. 

I thought by make a new Instagram page that I strictly sorted people who follow me-- not everyone-- will be enough for me. I would say, no it is not. I find myself still not able to express myself, I still find myself filtering what I wanted to post, I still find myself not 100% being me. Because trust me, I am so much more emotional than that. I am so much more feel deep inside me. For some reason, I think that people I let “in” to my second page don't want to see that. 

The fact that I desperately miss my crush in Denmark, Lukas, and not be able to contact him. The fact that I really love sad quotes. The fact that I  wanted to show my body. The fact that I want to share my shitty life, my fight towards my goals, my lazy ass. The fact that I am a super highly sensitive person and that is hard to hold all of it. Just like I said before, I don't think that these people would not be able to handle me. Because what was on my head every time I tried to post something was, they will not be pleased by that. Oh, I don't mean to pleased everyone, it just feels like inappropriate, or inadequate to post something like that. Does it mean that I live to please everyone and not being myself? is it only me? or everyone feels that way?

I don't know anything about that but one thing I know is I love writing. It helps me to clear my head, untie the knots that have been tangled for a long time, and make me see the problem clearer. I would say I am not happy right now, but I think that is the best time to write whatever on my head. Hoping that I will get better in no time. 

peace, 

Annisa. 

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I miss my Czech Republic, my God. It is not good to say this because it would be a complaint about my beautiful life but I'm in a depression about my life right now. Everything just so frustrating especially my fucking self. What is the hardest battle? it is the battle against my ass. 

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Annisa: Hello, I just read my old writing and I got cringe with my own work. What should I do? Should I just fix it or even delete it, or just let it be so I could see the improvements within myself?

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As a feeler I can confirm.

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“I would say goodbye to you a thousand more times if it meant I got to see you one last time.”

- D.N. // excerpt from a book i’ll never write #184

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Comet (2014) directed by Sam Esmail

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The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012) directed by Stephen Chbosky

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“You were the one, and you were the only one, and you were amazing.”

— Michael Cristofer