tumbleweedtech

[tumbleweedtech]

truly wild how driving really does become like piloting a mech after a while. like it sounds so car-bro-y but the car genuinely does become like an extension of your body. your muscles are simply making the correct micro-movements to perfectly manouvre a giant piece of machinery through a constantly moving maze while your brain is busy singing karaoke. you can physically feel when a gap is too small for your car-sona to fit through, like a cat putting its whiskers into a crevice. your brain is suddenly able to do on-the-fly s=d/t calculations in a milisecond and tell you exactly how quickly you need to move to avoid an oncoming vehicle while turning across the road. why does driving unlock the unused 89% of my brain

[tumbleweedtech]

Sooooo you guys seem to really like the Catra and Adora ones, so of course I had to do Avatar ones too. ;P Avatar really said strong ladies do whatever you want.

If you want to support me, these are available as stickers and more on my Redbubble! Suki here and Azula here!

[tumbleweedtech]

While I agree with all of this, and lament how poorly men treat the people they feel they should have unfettered access to their bodies... I need you to know that this visual absolutely made me choke laugh on my coffee because it's so delightfully vivid, but also, wow, yes. I want a partner like that. What kind of snack? Do I get a juice box?

Every now and then I’ll get some waste of oxygen who confidently oozes into one of my social media inboxes and tells me he could “fuck me straight.” Charming.

At first, these kinds of messages upset me. Now, they’re just objectively funny because:

If my partner, the love of my life, my best friend in the entire world, the person I would die for, who routinely provides me with Grade-A orgasms, hasn’t somehow “fixed” my bisexuality, I don’t think Chad with his beer belly and snap back and assertions that if he’d joined the military he definitely would have been a sniper, is somehow going to manage it (also, is your mother Lady Catherine de Bourgh by chance?).

I can tell, just by glancing at most of these guys profiles, that I’ve made more women come than they have. Which leads to…

I promise you, if it was possible to “convert” a bisexual woman one way or the other, a man like Chad will not win that one. The victor would be someone who understands the concept of foreplay and doesn’t think that sex solely consists of repeatedly sticking a dick in someone. But!

Even if that was the case. Chad. Buddy. Pal. Your dick has limitations. A butch with a solid core, a strap, and a can-do attitude will outlast you any day of the week. And she’ll probably check her partner’s tire pressure before she sends them home with a snack for the drive.

I just want to tell these dudes. You’re looking at this all wrong. If you are blessed with the opportunity to woo a bisexual woman, your goal should be living up to the women who have come (pun intended) before you, and, provided you do a good job, bragging about your ability to hang. But you definitely shouldn’t be hopping into the inboxes of married bi ladies with unsolicited and substantively false assertions about your prowess (especially when accompanied by racist digs at their husbands). Yikes.

[tumbleweedtech]

sad reality of the fanfic-to-published work economy is that the weirdest people are willing to do it. that's why there's now hundreds of shitty no plot cishet hate-to-love enemies-to-lovers books that are ex reylo fanfic. and it's not even good. that's because the people who wrote book-quality steve/bucky and kirk/spock fic are too normal to think to themselves "i should get this porn published". they're too busy working in local government offices

[tumbleweedtech]

this is the funniest scp and yet i've never seen anyone posting about it:

[tumbleweedtech]

Sebastian Stan on the set of Avengers: Infinity War (x)

[tumbleweedtech]

Me entering any museum: man I’m so excited to learn all the things

Also me: GIFT SHOP GIFT SHOP GIFT SHOP

[tumbleweedtech]

Getting snacks for the team!

[tumbleweedtech]

back on pushing my Ratthi Murderbot best friends agenda

[tumbleweedtech]

Schlocktober: A Fake Event Where Anything Goes

While other people are out here dropping Kinktober prompt lists with 9000 stipulations, I bring you this.

It's not a real October event, but it could be if you believe. The prompts are here for anyone to enjoy anyway.

Why "schlock"?

It means trash/junk, and that's the quality of content I'm striving for with these prompts. It's also fun to say.

But, y'know, if you want to take a prompt and turn it into a masterpiece of a whumpy longfic, go for it.

What fandom is this for?

Whatever fandom you want.

What ships can I write/draw?

Any of them.

Even [my fandom's most despised ship]?

Especially [your fandom's most despised ship].

What if I want to combine prompts? What if I want to write or draw things out of order? What if...

Go for it.

Are crossovers okay?

Do. Whatever. You. Want.

What if I want to create something problematic?

Send me the fucking link.

What does [prompt] mean?

You tell me. It's all open to interpretation.

Are there any rules at all?

Sure.

No AI use. If you need an LLM to write your schlock for you, consider a long walk off a short pier. If you need it to do your editing for you, use a beta reader instead. A stick figure drawn on the back of a napkin is better than soulless AI art.

Tag appropriately. 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings' means anything goes. 'No Archive Warnings Apply' means your work is guaranteed not to contain any of the major archive warnings (non-con, major character death, graphic violence, or underage sex).

No irl bigotry. Your characters can be problematic as all get out, but if you try to post a weird pro-JK Rowling essay or something you're not going in the collection, bud. Don't kill the vibes.

What are the vibes?

Just have fun.

But other people are having fun wrong!

Shut the fuck up.

Are you going to be doing this?

Probably not.

How do I participate?

There's an ao3 collection right here:

Schlocktober on ao3

Otherwise, just hashtag #schlocktober or something, idk. I don't expect anyone to actually do this.

Text version of the prompts under the cut.

Day 1:

Quadruple Fisting

Inappropriate Use of Labubus

Sex-Related Injury

Day 2:

Quesadilla Cocksleeve

Taking Notes During Sex and Grading It

MyPillow Humping

Day 3:

Erotically Burning Hair

Nostril Worship

Fuck or Live

Day 4:

Gap Tooth Kink

Pegging with a Square Peg

Peeling Sunburn

Day 5:

Not Squirting, Not Pee, but a Secret Third Thing

Nipple Sounding

Enemas to Lovers

Day 6:

Defiling a Puritan

Room Temperature Play

Edging on an Edge

Day 7:

Bidets

Too Many Legs

Shallow Throating

Day 8:

Lingerie Made of Crabs

Not Water Sports, but Water Leisure

Masturbation Pollen

Day 9:

Nonconsensual Consent (NCC)

Afterneglect

Last Time

Day 10:

Human Centipeding

Ball Slapping

Fuck or Die Trying

Day 11:

Sex on Meth

Plucking Hair by Hand

Harem on Strike

Day 12:

Second-Hand Creampie

Haggled Use

Age Progression

Day 13:

Cactus Insertion

Antibreeding Kink

Mechanical Bull

Day 14:

Banned on TikTok

Predator/Predator

Prey/Prey

Day 15:

Scissoring with Scissors

Butterplay

Cannon (Artillery) Compliant

Day 16:

Dueling Gloryholes

Inedible Cum

Purple Nurple

Day 17:

Pimple Popping

Lap Riverdance

Pain Without Pleasure

Day 18:

Nonconsensual Soloplay

Weakness Kink

Genital Swap (Not Whole Body)

Day 19:

Chip Clip Nipple Clamps

Spatchcocking

Wound Fucking

Day 20:

Boot Blasphemy

Understimulation

Gamma/Delta/Sigma (G/D/S)

Day 21:

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Torture)

CBT (Cock and Ball Therapy)

Asparagus

Day 22:

Autocannibalism

Actual Jackhammering

Extrasensory Deprivation

Day 23:

Going in Dry

Aroused by the Smell of Rubber Cement

Sterilization Ritual

Day 24:

Genitals Stuck in Zipper

Ennui Kink

Earwax Wax Play

Day 25:

Actual Handcuffs (They're Under Arrest)

96ing

Sex as a Sedative

Day 26:

Hospice Roleplay

Gas Station Sex Pills

Balls So Blue They're Practically Purple

Day 27:

Extreme Temperature Cockwarming

Promiscuity Cage

Salt Daddy

Day 28:

Sex with Crocs

Anal Toeing

Breaking a Sex Contract

Day 29:

Coming in Someone Else's Pants

Clowns

Cloning Gone Wrong

Day 30:

Lube As Spit

Pet Work

Clear Showers (Character Is Adequately Hydrated)

Day 31:

Pumpkin Seed Snowballing

Candy Apple Coating

Ghost of a Sex Offender

[tumbleweedtech]

fanfiction writers when they say "this is just a little oneshot" and then drop a 96k word emotional obliteration device

[tumbleweedtech]

I'm so sick of defending shit I don't even like. I hate porn. I think gender and sexuality are boring. I've never taken an illegal drug and have no interest in doing so. But people won't back the fuck off and let people live their lives so here we still are, still on the front lines with this shit. "You guys make everything about" I'D REALLY LOVE NOT TO, MATE, BUT WE'RE NOT THE ONES CREATING PROBLEMS HERE. Stop trying to control people's lives and we'll all get a chance to shut up about it, but unfortunately the Moral Police are out here endangering lives and livelihoods so here we still are. Forever.

[tumbleweedtech]

What really ticks me off when talking about ai is when people are like "it's unavoidable" or "you'll have to learn to use it someday" or "its going to be part of the future" like no it's plenty avoidable actually if you have a spine stronger than a dandelion. You simply say "no" and continue to use your own goddamn brain.

[tumbleweedtech]

Sits on your dash

[tumbleweedtech]

Oh, okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don’t know, that gaslight gatekeep girlboss meme, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you think modern feminism has been co-opted by corporations. But what you don’t know is that that meme is not from Instagram, it's not from Twitter, it's not from Tiktok, it’s actually from Tumblr. You’re also blithely unaware of the fact that in January 2021, Tumblr user missnumber1111 posted, "today's agenda: gaslight gatekeep and most importantly girlboss." And then I think it was a-m-e-t-h-y-s-t-r-o-s-e, wasn’t it, who reblogged it with an image of the phrase edited over a piece of "Live, Laugh, Love" wall art? And then gaslight gatekeep girlboss showed up in the feeds of eight different Twitter repost accounts. Then it filtered down through Instagram and then trickled on down into some tragic “alt side of Tiktok” where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that meme represents millions of notes and countless Tumblr users and so it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from Tumblr when, in fact, you’re wearing the meme that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of “stuff.”

[tumbleweedtech]

The queen and her guards