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Anyone: *stands behind me while I’m on my phone*

Me:

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# WHOEVER MADE THIS IS GOING TO BE FUCKING TAKEN OUT BY THE GODDAMN KGB

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smashmouth was right… so much to do, so much to see

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“men dont like that. its such a turn off” good . turn off . where is ur off button . shut up . please stop making noise

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Me: *makes a small irrelevant mistake*

My Brain, banging pots and pans together: YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUC

Me: *makes huge mistake that will directly affect my future horribly*

My Brain, lounging on a lawn chair with shades on: ....acknowledged

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me: pls talk to me pls !!pls pls!!!

me: *can't hold a conversation*

me: *has nothing interesting to say*

me: *is bad at replying*

me: pls :) talkto me

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Me: I want compliments and attention Someone: * gives me compliments and attention* Me: *trembling slightly* what the hell

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look what you made me do to em

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Translating Russian captions under cat pics is the best meme this site has produced in a while

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lifehack

if you catch and fight the UPS guy and win you get to keep all the packages in the truck

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the first thing males look at when looking at a woman is her heart, the fact that her breasts are in front of it is not our fault

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me: whats so good about boys

boy: smiles

me: oh yeah

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