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Private & Selective           WEASEL aka Deadpool’s Whipping Boy

                                                                     Penned by Beetle

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                                      I’m not a fun-loving PRANKSTER.                            No one’s jealous of my skills, or impressed by them.                                     They’re afraid of them. Afraid of me.

                             Indie 616 canon divergent Deadpool 

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G’damn it i’ve started to miss deadpool.

i’d revamp on another blog but someone may just strangle me for blog jumping - again.

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‘ Sounds fancy. Me, I’m a simple man…                                                                                I’M JUST GONNA KILL YA. ’

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cockiness is so attractive to me in a way and it’s so irritating. like it’s annoying. and it annoys me. but the kind of expression and body language that comes with it. the self-satisfied attitude. the smug comments. the eye rolling. the smirking. “come and get me” hand gestures during a fight. eyebrow raising with an air of superiority. it’s just like. fuck you. i’m annoyed right now. i am so annoyed right now. but oh my fuck i am also so very, very attracted right now

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Character in Canon: I'd like to order a chicken sandwich this one time.

Fandom: CHARACTER LOVES CHICKEN. CHICKEN FEATHERS. CHICKEN CROWNS. PET CHICKEN. THEY ARE NEVER APART FROM CHICKEN. ODE TO CHICKEN. SHIP NAMES START WITH CHICK. SEND KFC TO NETWORK WHEN RUMOR OF CHARACTER LEAVING. 10450 FICS WITH TAG OF CHICKEN. CHICKEN. CHICKEN META. WHY DID IT CROSS THE ROAD? TO BE WITH THIS CHARACTER.

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facepalmbucky :

“love at first sight? aha no you misheard i said love at first fight as in we punched each other until we got tired and decided to bang.”

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I swing both ways. Aggressively. With my dagger. To make sure that nobody comes near me.

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for science: reblog this with your hogwarts house and major/field of studies in the tags

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theonlynonatomicyammerer:

“That’s it? No teasing about what a giant wimp Tony was? ‘Emotional intelligence of a wooden teaspoon’? Here I thought that was a really good opening–” Here he thought, show Deadpool your vulnerable underbelly, and he’s gonna stab it. Maybe not. Maybe he’s misread Wade frickin’ Wilson again.

“Yeah, I usually don’t respond to that kind of questioning. Does it matter? You’re not more than a bunch of data combined with a meatsack, so, whatever.”

The AI almost smirks. Number of times he - Tony - thought about how much easier life would be if people were computers. Reprogrammable. Turn it off and on again and it might just work fine after.

Yeah.

Maybe not.

Such a shame that thing’s only a hologram. He’d love to punch that fucking smug handsome face. Buuuut, he’s about 90 percent sure he’s gonna look like the Coyote to the RoadRunner via fall for obvious bate to get a rise and some humiliation out of him.

“So let me be clear on what you just said. First, you’re willing to spill Tony’s bleeding heart out all over me and my baby-seal leather boots, but when it comes to ‘is there actually any Tony in there’, suddenly you’re all defensive? I would’ve dished the ‘why does it matter line’ first, personally.”

Wade is also personally thinking that Tony probably likes being an AI. He never shut up about it. 

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As if you'd need anyone to make you feel guilty. You do that all by yourself. You get into people's lives, ruin them, and never quite manage to make up for it. Isn't that what you do?

“That’s not true.” Wade defends, but anyone can hear in his tone he isn’t sure he means it. “I’ve saved the world. Where’s my parade and big ‘thank you’ for that from a decade ago? I think that makes up for at least twelve percent of the crap I’ve pulled.”

Deadpool removes his gun from his hip, and shoots the stranger four times, not having heart to his aim. He just wants quiet. 

“Besides.” His tone turns to venom. “No one asked you. Bye, Felecia.”

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Uncanny X-Force v1 #29

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UberHaxorNova Resident Evil 7 sentence starters

“How is it dark already?!” “Now we’re fucked.” “I need to, like, recollect myself.” “Chill the fuck out!” “What have I done to deserve this?” “Give me the weapon, I’m tired of your ass!” “That’s some fucked up shit! …Can I have my ax back?” “Let’s just ask what the fuck just happened!” “Can’t say my memory has served me too well.” “Where did you get that?!” “I’m just gonna push this down so it doesn’t freak me out.” “Is she dead? She looks mighty dead.” “They actually go out in public?” “This is fucking disgusting.” “Tell your fucking kids to clean up their goddamn shit.” “What in the fuck am I gonna do with an antique coin?” “I’m gonna fight the good fight with this little knife.” “What the fuck did I just witness?!” “Are they ignorant?” “Are you trying to get stabbed?” “Oh, that’s whatsherface. What the fuck is she doing?”

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various banshee lockscreens

reblog if saved do not claim as your own work for a better version, don’t save ;; take a screenshot please do not post on other social medias

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do you have a marvel character, oc, or verse ? if so, please reblog this post with your character(s) name in the tags, if you are an oc please specify that, and if you only have a verse be sure to specify that as well. please reblog once per blog.

                         reblog and tag appropriately and you will be added to this list.

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theonlynonatomicyammerer:

Tony notices - and mostly ignores - the way Wilson fingers his gun. Isn’t it kinda odd, how phallic guns are? (If he shoots at the AI right now, he shouldn’t accidentally hit a person. The AI runs some more calculations, taking into account that the other might fire an entire round and not really care for aiming much, and takes a couple steps forward. Now there should be nobody caught in the gunfire. The wall now behind him is sturdier, would be able to catch all of those bullets.)

“Hm. True. And how’s that worked out for you, so far?” His lips quirk, almost a grin, not quite genuine but at least the amusement is not totally faked. Blue eyes fix on Wade’s mask. “You know there’s no good answer to that, right?”

God, he doesn’t want to answer this. At all. But it is Wade, and he remembers their convoluted mess of a shared history. He probably owes him this much. “Why… well. Dealing with emotions is hard. There’s all those things I - he - would have loved to pretend didn’t exist, like. You know. Insecurity, hurt, regret, loneliness.” The hologram looks away, there. “And everything went so wrong with you that– it threw him. An engineer is always looking for the solution to any problem. But you– he didn’t find a solution to you, or to what he felt about you. Made it hard to let go. Doesn’t help that he was, as you put it, insane, and founding member of the Avenger’s Sad Bastards Club.”

Solution to him? Join the club. There is none.

You don’t really think that.

Shut up, subconscious.

“You know, you sure are life-like for just a bunch of data combined with a hologram. Do you have to turn your attention somewhere else, or just want to?” He asks, finally not relying on his peripheral vision and turning to face the blue tinted figure. Wow. That was harder than he thought, his stomach dropping almost instantly and his heart picking up pace. Shit. This thing better not have super senses and shit. He’s not in the mood to deal with someone - something, that can see right through him.