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Klapollo Fic Rec

I was just filtering by child abuse to see some hurt Edgy but this one had me at Hospitalisation, being hospitalised myself I had to read it, it got too •happy• though, so I’m mainly posting this to make sure i continue at some point

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Fetish shit is so weird cus like im ace why do i huh? But at the same time it’s so rational. Considering it all started with me tryna get off to anything. Bodies? Nope. Erotica? Nuh uh. I can’t even know what to do or what my body wants me to do. So naturally i mimic. Moans don’t work bc they’re unpredictable. But sneezes? The buildup the way the voice hitches and the pitch changes i know exactly when the snz will come. And i’ll mimic accordingly. After a while, my body gets used to the persons snzs and it’ll do it’s thing, which i assume is the big o since i can’t go further. Asside from the fact that it’s pretty underwhelming, like if this is it i don’t get why people have sex period, ts so boring all i did was sweat, i don’t even feel a rush and allat, it’s pretty logical. It doesn’t happen irl for some reason —also a pro. I’d still be disgusted if anyone sneezed near me. But the rhythm of the close up hitches in wavs, i can match. I don’t have to focus on my body— the worst part. I don’t give up because im distracted by the wav, and it works! I just wish it worked better, i feel like i only do it to feel the rush, the euphoria others say it has but it’s never like that. Just tickled and laughing. If this is an O i legit dunno why people would cheat on their partners an all. I go back to the fetish just to see if all those times were not it and there’s something more but there never is. This is so underwhelming and frustrating. Is this sexual frustration? I might actually just quit snz stuff and go back to my happy aroace single life.

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Fucks me up to think about how every character in the world is literally just someone's OC

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Yayy i thought of a nice scene of my OCs at 2:35 A.M.!!!!!

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Yay my frens like the vague idea of my world(ocs etc.)

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God bles ao3

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I don’t think i have a snz fet or whatever it’s called. In fiction, I’ve always enjoyed people being sick, and now I see that I just like my fav chars to suffer. TMI, however, I don’t like porn and shit, tried it to test my aceness lol, same reason i tried these, and i kinda see how wavs make the hitches like moans, and my body’s reaction to them is always interesting, but it’s so weird, like im just tickling, tryna do everything and it never get’s past the point of intruiging, this time i geniunely did it to distract myself from acid sore throat and at the end i was like “ok, hope this burned some cals”(fuck bulimia bro wtf am i doin w my life) cus what’s the point? I try and try to get to this point everyone has, this pleasure, yet it never works, I’m pretty sure I have no libido atp, am I “broken” I don’t get it sex/mstrbtn is just tickling and how your body just clenches or twitches instinctively. At what point am I supposed to feel good cause I’m forcing myself to do ts hoping i get sth, and it’s nada. Like at what point do y’all “see a fair maiden” and wanna get crushed by her thighs or a twink and want to idk lick his shit idk that much about sex the smut i’ve read can’t all be true. Idk i feel odd. I feel lacking. Asexuality is weird because at least in today’s society, if I were gay, I wouldn’t go, huh, should I go to a doctor about this, but I keep questioning whether my asexuality is valid or is it a symptom i should get checked out

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Frfr ong my throat is cooked and im not even maintaining i’ve gained this shit is so useless and it prevents you from losing weight in a healthy manner as well

guys, please don't be anorexic. like I'm not talking to my peers who are already deep in this shit I'm talking to the kids who grew up fat and everyone who is looking at thinspo and wishing it was them but hasn't fallen into active disorder yet. please, this is not the answer. you won't stop when you are thin enough because there is never a thin enough, it consumes your whole life. I know its hard, seriously I get it. but nothing good happens because of this disorder, you are worthy of help and food and living.

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Ma’s on my bedside: With every night comes a day, with every winter comes a spring

But I’d take a billion nights over a day, and even more winters before a spring; Mother.

Anam yanıbaşımda: Her gecenin bir gündüzü, her kışın bi baharı var

Ama ben geceyi gündüze, kışı bahara yeğlerim anne

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Anam yanıbaşımda: Her gecenin bir gündüzü, her kışın bi baharı var

Ama ben geceyi gündüze, kışı bahara yeğlerim anne

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Bowling Ball Head

Wish someone would just put their thumb into my mouth

Push it to the roof until my acid damaged teeth can't hold anymore

And slide their fingers into my nostrils—index and middle

Or better yet, dig them so deep into my eye socket that the balls pop out

And rip my bowling ball head apart

From the paperweight— I wish it was as light as a paper yet

Hit all these pins who think they're so much better

They are right but not invincable— Not uncursable

My soul can only be glad that it's a strike

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Hi. 17. Genderfluid & Aroace so yes Queer. All pronouns are fine call me a tomato if you please. I’m shit at writing, but i’m taking a creative writing class next year, and my grades are shit so ig locking in rn.

Triggering tags

TW: Eating Disorder

TW: Self-Harm & Suicide

(I’m usually against grouping them together but the lines are so blurred for me i don’t wanna hurt people)

TW: Blood, Violence, and Gore

Pretty standard stuff.

Don’t be rude i’ll cry.