umbral-executor
umbral-executor
I need a nap
94K posts
The name's Knives, mid 20's, He/they, My inbox and dms are open. All art in header and pfp is done by papaya art!
Last active 60 minutes ago
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umbral-executor · 1 minute ago
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My cryptid antler boy KyuHo's witch form. He likes to cook/bake and make friends.
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umbral-executor · 5 minutes ago
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my husband has this image saved for whenever i grow distant
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umbral-executor · 5 minutes ago
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With Her Seven Sisters l NASA APOD
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umbral-executor · 5 minutes ago
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Whatever *sticks my dick in the gap between who you are and who you portray yourself as*
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umbral-executor · 6 minutes ago
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characters that have sharp teeth and theres not really any explicable reason for it they’re just there:  👍 👍 👍 👍 👍 👍 👍 👍
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umbral-executor · 7 minutes ago
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I’m going to make a new font called Times New Bastard
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umbral-executor · 3 hours ago
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I realized I’m fully soymaxxing with my lunch because I’m having noodles in miso soup with tofu and soy sauce with an iced coffee with soy milk. The layers of soy here are unmatched.
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umbral-executor · 3 hours ago
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Happy Indigenous Peoples Day
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umbral-executor · 3 hours ago
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umbral-executor · 3 hours ago
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umbral-executor · 3 hours ago
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i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door
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umbral-executor · 3 hours ago
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*person who has rich parents* you can do like anything you want in this world you can literally drop out of highschool and go to Europe for a decade and come back to build a family and start a small business but it's like you have to want it you can't just expect things to come to you without you putting the work in
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umbral-executor · 8 hours ago
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umbral-executor · 9 hours ago
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A young man went into confession crying, and told the priest: “Forgive me father for I have sinned”. “What have you done?” asked the priest. 
“A few weeks ago I went to the library. I remained there until closing time and when I was about to go home, rain started pouring down. It was so intense I had to wait in the library. I had waited for a while with the librarian, a young attractive single girl, then one thing led to another, and I ended up sleeping with her”. The man stopped talking but kept weeping.
“Well don’t cry, it’s a sin but it is not that bad. You should say 5 Hail Marys and it will be forgiven”. Said the priest.
“But it doesn't end there” the man kept sobbing. “a few days later my elderly neighbor asked me to help her with her computer. Her husband was hospitalized and she couldn't send an email to her son. I went there and fixed the problem, but when I was about to leave, rain started pouring down. It was really stormy and I had to wait. One thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with the old lady” the man cried.
“Oh dear well that makes it harder indeed, but still - you should say 15 Hail Marys and you will be forgiven” Said the priest.
“Oh I’m afraid the worst part is still ahead” cried the man. “Yesterday I went to the barber. I was his last client that day. As soon as he finished and was about to close the shop rain started pouring down so intensely, I had to wait with him. One thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with him as well” the man cried.
“Oh dear, it is indeed worse than I thought” said the priest.
“So what should I do father?” the man asked.
“Well” answered the priest, “you should get the fuck out of here before it starts raining!”.
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umbral-executor · 9 hours ago
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umbral-executor · 11 hours ago
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umbral-executor · 11 hours ago
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happy new year! reminder that as of January 1st, 2025, the 1929 animated Disney short "The Skeleton Dance" is now public domain!
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