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XXII - the fool

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you seem like you unironically enjoyed electroswing circa 2012

this website's hate mail game is insane

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If you're stuck in bumber to bumper traffic, and someone is waiting to merge in, even though you may be frustrated enough from the traffic, you actually have very little to lose by letting them in. One more car in front of you will make very little difference in how late you'll be for work / class / ect. or how much quicker you'll get out of traffic, but it could make a world of a difference for this other person.

Sure, when you're stuck in bumper to bumper traffic and already stressed and annoyed it might seem like a big deal to let one person in, and this is why so many drivers exhibit greedy behavior like creeping as close as possible to the car in front of them when they see a car who wants to merge over, but in reality it hardly makes a difference at all, at least insofar as making you later or slowing down traffic even more.

Meanwhile, that other person could have been sitting there for god knows how long and might sit there for god knows how much longer, that is unless you show kindness by letting them merge over.

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Happy Stitch Day, everyone donate to the NICWA out of apology that we let the reboot gain any kind of traction

The National Indian Child Welfare Association is an organization working to protect indigenous children and families through education and advocacy on child welfare and kinship rights. Nobody gets left behind.

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do NOT step at me on the fourth of footwerk

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hard ass bio tbh

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Source

Winners:

The 1%

Military industrial complex

Fossil fuel industy

Corporations

Losers:

Health care workers

Working class Americans

Green energy industry

Younger generations

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made a picture i will use a lot

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Okay, so. Star Wars has all these concepts that weirdo New Left boomer George Lucas tosses in there but because of storyteller limitations it would kill the plot to fully explain them all, so later writers have to come in for the spin-off materials and bat clean-up to fully explain all this crazy crap. And I would like to talk about something that made me actively angry at first, but which I now adore. And that is the Naboo.

So much about Naboo culture is infuriating from a logical standpoint. They have a queen, okay. A constitutionally elected queen? Weird, okay. Don't know why they'd do that but... She's FOURTEEN? Excuse me? Is it a ceremonial thing or, oh no it's not? Legit head of state? Why does she dress like that? Why does she talk like that? I'm so tired.

Here's the explainer. Let me go cook.

There's this joke in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy where the last living human goes back in time and finds out humans aren't actually from Earth, but an alien culture that tricked all the middle managers, pedantic weirdos, and other infuriating folk into getting in a space arc which they gave the wrong evacuation coordinates to simply get rid of them. The Naboo are like this but they're all artists and poets and hippies, but like classy ones. They fled their home planet during a war and crash landed on Naboo, then did a colonism to the Gungans because, hey, they were fleeing a war and it was do or die. This spiritual rot in their creation story is later rectified by Padmé. But it's super important to their cultural psychology. They're hippies, but will subjugate if needed. They are "peaceful" but I guarantee you every single one of them has a tiny extremely shiny pistol up their sleeve and they will draw down on you if backed against a wall.

The scene that I think says it all is at the end of Phantom Menace when Padmé is surrounded by Nute Gunray and his droids, they've got her dead to rights, but Sabé her double creates a distraction so the queen can make it to her throne. This one piece of furniture is the Naboo in a nutshell. It's richly carved with artistic details, it has two seats to the side so the queen's handmaidens can read the lips of people in the back of the room and use hand signals to communicate with the queen while she can remain focused mostly on who is speaking to her. It is hundreds of years old. And it has a secret compartment in the armrest that is FULL OF GUNS. Layers of artistic opulence hiding their true intentions.

The Naboo were created to be backwards compatible with Princess Leia. They're compassionate pacifists, but they will shot you if needed.

Why do they elect teenage royalty? It's a little creepy. It's giving "age of consent is emotional maturity". It makes no sense.

The explanation they give outsiders is they want youthful idealism untainted by cynicism. What they don't tell you is that they take kids with stated interest in politics and put them in an advanced highly competitive Leadership Academy which is like Model UN mixed with Battle Royale. Well, they don't kill each other but it's intense. It's like what the clones went though just all diplomacy training and tea ceremonies all the time. Which is crazy but so Naboo.

Oh, and all the delegates for the royalty election run using pseudonyms for security. Imagine voting for the head of state but you can't run a background check. It's so crazy.

Why does Padmé dress like that? Well, fashion is one of Naboo's major industries so it's like she's wearing the entire Fall line catalog at once. To advertise not only the talent of her people, but to show how much they favor her. BUT that dress has multiple layers of padding and resin armor. And aforementioned spots for those little silver blasters. And it breaks up her silhouette making her harder to shoot. And it's so elaborate you pay more attention to the crazy dress and not if the person wearing it is really the queen or a decoy. Everything about Naboo is like this.

Queen Amidala has that weird accent while Padmé does not. Because all her handmaidens helped create the accent together so they all can imitate it. It's like if you gave girls at a rowdy sleepover the job of federal counterintelligence. That's what they came up with.

The handmaidens wear colorful identical clothes so you can't tell them apart, hoods to partially conceal their identity, and they don't wear the queen's fancy makeup. So one of them can be the queen and spy on people in the audience. Because the Naboo don't trust shit for shit.

Their public face is so silly to hide all the truly weird shit they do behind the scenes.

They use their reputation as artist hippies to conceal multiple layers of subterfuge and disguise their methods of self defense and assuage their paranoia due to wartime trauma and their disturbing colonial past. All of them are completely off their rocker even by Star Wars standards. And I love them so much. They put on a show so everyone thinks they have them figured out but what they have going on is far more weirder and more sinister than meets the eye. You know how catty, neurotic, and competitive art school students stereotypically are? Yeah, planet art student. Love them!

There you go, @charmwasjess

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bro is laughing as if his dad wasn’t one of Paul’s girlfriends

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fluttershy tries soju

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I loved this post just because all the comments flipped between sincere appreciation and mockery of the birds

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Deadline 15 July

Subject : Collecting the third installment for my university fees for me and my sister

Current process :

USD 17 / $2,000

Hello my friends, my name is Farah, me, my parents and my sister live in Gaza and we need shelter for us , our house was bombed from the beginning of the war and we did not take anything from our house, and we went to several places and there is nothing left for us, and now we must have shelter and food, and the food in Gaza is very expensive, for example, a kilo of tomato is $20, we must buy a tent for us and its price is $1500, and food and drink $500, they must be collected in a maximum period of two weeks, i.e. 14 days, we can do it, my friends, please help me.

@antennas-to-heaven @lordzannis @panda-slushie @garfieldsgonered @izzy246girl @mitskiismyromanempire @taksynator @snax-crap @is-that-you-john-wayne @kuichihimei @crinklywinkly @fen-the-space-dragon @elpen0r @canvas-madness-txc @elitheidiot1 @queeniehostapasta @odiledemonicat @leeblissy @r0semultiverse @depths-of-misery @sirshitsalot @market--land @fanoffandoms23 @bioh4zards @hostile-hostelry @macaknight @lady-of-bath @fandangled-object @tim-the-rat @probablynotkat @demonicparalysis @bayverselover @shineypebble @foxerlies @potatoattorney

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My book is heavily inspired by the spooky story collections I read as a kid, so of course I had to do my own version of The Green Ribbon, with my own spin on a different twist ending. And my book is FINALLY back in stock after immediately selling out on launch, so if you haven’t gotten it yet now’s the chance! Order here!

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remember how utterly inescapable how i met your mother used to be with the memes and references and barney and bro code and wait for it... and then the finale was so hated it vanished overnight