unholiis-a

[unholiis-a]

THIS BLOG IS NOW ARCHIVED ! you can find me here ( same url ) from now on !

[unholiis-a]

save me older women .... save me ! finally i can add miss ma'am lihua to the roster. she's been in roster jail since the moment i opened this blog. anyway ... if ya'll don't give me sapphic ships with her when i finally move to the new blog i am going to riot. i am srs.

[unholiis-a]

i am going to spend the majority of the day working on the new blog so i won't be here much bc otherwise i'll be too distracted and i need to lock in. srsly i need to. i am so close to finishing it and i just want to finally get to all the good stuff i owe. which is yknow... everything i owe sdkjhkgdj. hope you all have a GREAT DAY!!

[unholiis-a]

“I cannot cry. When other people cry, it seems to me like a strange, incomprehensible natural phenomenon.”

— Franz Kafka, 1912 letter to Felice Bauer

[unholiis-a]

[ lipbite ] / for sami ... yknow

[ lipbite ] sender bites down on receiver’s bottom lip while grinding against them

it's a fusion of feeling - somewhere in-between blissful and agony. pain meshes with pleasure in a way that has you unraveling, like a spool of thread tumbling down onto the floor. his teeth sink into your lip, enough to break skin and draw out blood, the metallic flavor filling up your mouth as you make a sound of pure need. the grind of your bodies together had your mind foggy, only able to focus on the way his hips are pressed against yours.

it's too much and not enough all at once. you bucking your hips upwards to generate more friction, desperate spilling off your actions. your hand is balanced on the back of his head, fingers tangling in hair but not yanking, not puling; simply intertwined with the strands as gently as you can manage it. your face is lava-red and just as hot, embarrassment smolders in chest and licks your heart with the flames of shame yet you can't bring yourself to stop him, not when it feels like this.

no.. you've begun to long for his mouth against you, his body against yours. when he's not there, how can you exist? without that gaze of his that makes you feel like it's just you and him in the world, are you even truly there? it's impure, improper, immoral and yet you're falling for it. no, that's wrong. you're not falling for it.. you've fell for it long ago, an icarus-like fall.

" please, " word trembles from your mouth, splatters something ugly 'pon the floor, all crimson-coated. a plea, a beg; it's unbecoming that you're asking for more from the one that's hurting you, that wants to dig teeth deeper into the meat of your body 'til you and him become one.. but you can't stop it.

you've had a taste just as much as he has - a taste of him, a taste of what he has to offer. your hand cradles his face, the nails leaving half-moon indents in his skin as you whimper. " i-i.. i can handle more, p-please, please. " unshed tears well up in eyes as if the pleasure from just the clash of your bodies was enough to push you over the edge. lust is a sin and you can see why now.

[unholiis-a]

spontaneous meetings like this ... she always thought it was reserved for the movies, the books, tv shows. the ease with which the characters would talk to each other, laugh and look away when eyes lingered too long. the way the whole world seemed to bend and twist &. listen eagerly to what they had to say and what could happen afterwards. while the initial reason for their encounter was less than pleasant roan was thankful it brought him to casimir. eyes refused to move away from the gentleman, stuck upon his handsome visage and the graceful, gallant way he carried himself. everything about him exuded excellence and refinement, an air of luxury woven within his very skin. and it was as alluring as it was a bit daunting. the grip upon handkerchief tightens once more ━━━ ( it seemingly having become her anchor ).

bright is his smile in response to the compliment, leaning forward ever so slightly to breach whatever imaginary distance there was between them. ❝ thank you. i hope you'll get to say my name numerous times after today. ❞ a playful wink. it was always a delicate balance between roan's more sweet disposition &. her outright flirtatious nature. often compared to a sweet doe or cuddly rabbit that when she'd allow those walls to lower down ever so slightly one could see the trickster that sat prettily behind forest touched hues. ❝ ah, now now. don't be so sure about that ! i don't think i have refined expectations at all. just expectations. you seem like a capable man. i expect to be dazzled by your work. ❞ he replies equally as playful, swaying casimir's card before making a show out of tucking it into their bag.

gaze follows him as he stands up, soon dipping low towards extended hand and it truly does feel like a scene from a movie. it has them feeling like they're on cloud nine, heart skipping a beat and simper upon visage bleeding an innocent kind of delight. fishnet gloves wrap around dark gloved hand ━━━ standing up but even as he finally stands next to cassimir, roan makes no move to return his hand. holds it tenderly as if wanting to memorize the touch of casimir's hand within their own. ❝ roach .... hah, that's what i've been referring him to in my mind as well. it seems we truly are kindred spirits, sir achim ! as for escorting me ... ❞ hand slips away from the curator &. instead carefully ( tentatively ) wraps around his arm, gently pulling him along the street and starting their walk towards the club.

❝ you may accompany me all the way to the front door. and while we walk ... care to indulge me in a lil' bit of museum talk. how long have you been a curator ? to be able to manage your own museum ━━━ that's not an easy thing, i assume. ❞ like this, walking side by side, holding on to him like so ━━━ did they not appear like a couple ? ah, well it would certainly deter the unruly rat if he dared to return. though roan could not help but laugh inwardly at the stark difference between their outfits. of all the days she did not dress like she had an appointment with a fashion editor it had to be today. well, one must have fun in life ... outfits included ! ❝ and what is the exact focus of your museum ? i am sure i'll find out when i swing by but ... if you could give me a hint ? ❞ doe - eyes peer up the curator, all but pleading without words.

he watches the way emerald eyes seemingly BRIGHTEN upon the realization that he ran a museum, and the eagerness soon apparent in her gaze was enough to stir the tides of delight to wash over his face. ( prideful of his work; he takes gratification in seeing that look of intrigue and interest in his museum. ) he's thankful that his initiative seemed to do the trick in dissipating that previous sense of unease that seemed to cling onto their person. he makes a mental note to himself, ' free up some time in availability for roan's appointment. ' was it arrogant of him to already deduce that roan's time with him will surely be a delightful one ? casimir can already envision it .... the sight of them within those walls, observing his exhibits, looking at his art gallery .... he'll have to make some preparations.

" park roan ... a lovely name. " casimir utters his name as if he could taste it; saccharinely sweet. as if it were decadent ... with a pleased hum, he expresses his own delight to hear how she too was fond of antiques; a fellow lover in the art of appreciating history and relics of the past. " a kindred spirit, hm ? i'm pleased to hear that. i should take that as a sign to meet your refined expectations then. " there was a playfulness in his tone, allowing another chuckle to escape him.

such a fascinatingly active life. not only working at a club, but also having another job that deals with tending to trinkets of the past. already, she sounded like a relatively passionate person. a quality of human nature that casimir adored. already, he was looking forward for their appointment together. " sounds like we have a plan then. " satisfied and content, casimir soon begins to stand up from his spot on the bench. gently dusting down his suit and returning his cane back into his hand, he offers his free one to roan. his smile ever so inviting. " for the time being, why don't i escort you to where you need to go ? just in case a certain roach tries their luck to come running back to you .... "

[unholiis-a]

my brain cannot conjure anything more writing - wise so i am calling it a day. haven't slept all that great either so i think i am going to take a nap in a bit and when i am back just focus on working on the new blog. my aim is to move this weekend but with the speed i am going rn ... that's a dream JDSKJFK. i need to re - make muse pages (+ their graphics) and that's gonna take most of my time. but yeah, i won't be much on dash for the rest of the night. i need to lock in. you can catch me on disco though.

[unholiis-a]

Janet Fitch, from her novel titled "White Oleander," originally published in 1999

[unholiis-a]

days, weeks, years: they all felt the same to the witch. often it wondered when this part of their endless life started, when it became this thing and shed away whatever it used to be. noa was convinced they used to be something or someone different, ignoring how odd that was, but most of the time they were more occupied with taking care of the shop, feeding the ghastly creatures hidden within its corners and getting their own fill of lost souls, lost people, anything that was never meant to be found again. today was no different, shop settling wherever it wanted &. making its home there. while the ghoul witch could be often found behind the counter preparing new blends or otherwise busying themselves with stock upon the shelves today he was focused upon unboxing some old relics, seated upon the ground, dark dress like a halo spread around him while he was hunched over to peer at the engravings upon a dagger, inky tresses much like a veil hide visage from all that would happen to see him. lost in his own world. then, the shop seems to let out a soft rumble, a barely audible sigh and noa hums in return ━━━ he was no longer alone.

head is tilted upwards, under the dim light the sapphire color of its eyes seems to glow the tiniest bit, an odd flicker. effortlessly does noa brush hair from their face, simper upon face inviting yet carrying the slightest hint of something else. he watches how hisaki moves through the clutter of the shop, finds the old creaky chair ━━ that throughout the day travelled from one side of the shop to the other ━━ and sat down. while hisaki seemed to contemplate the turnings of the worlds, perhaps his own, noa merely looked at him. smiling. always smiling. as if painted upon face &. refusing to be ever washed away. they exist in silence like that for what seemed like hours but could've have been mere minutes: time did not flow within bonne nuit.

❝ now and then , it seems that life is just too much. ❞ prompt.

ah. there it was. what seemed to bug @ohcruel. of course. with a sigh does noa stand up with such grace it's a dance on its own, gloved hands brush skirt, fluffing it up before brushing away any remnants of dust and letting it fall back down to settle around heeled boots. the ornaments that were wrapped around ankle glittering for a brief moment before they were hidden by the dark, soft material. ❝ hisaki ... ❞ name spoken like a song, songstress from the soil ready to drag down whomever it wished. whether it's noa that moves closer towards hisaki or the shop became smaller &. removed the distance between them mattered little when the witch was now looming over him. from behind crimson red shades does he look down upon him, smile ever present, ever sharp ( ever wrong ). bandaged hand with equally bandage wrapped digits settle upon the other's cheek, cupping it gently ━━━ perhaps a bit too gently.

❝ that's why death exists. ❞ the witch descends down, lowering body so he may kneel before hisaki, both hands now cupping face and staring up at him with wonder in their eyes. ❝ so you can rest for a bit before you return. it's why we both ━━━ go away for a while before we're walking among the living again. life can't win this game, hisaki. ❞ head is tilted to the side, brows furrowing softly before it was replaced with that sweet, sweet smile. ❝ and when you feel like it is ... come to me. we'll go through it together. we can't let it win. not yet at least not until we're ... ❞ what ? whole again ? ❝ just come to me. ❞

[unholiis-a]

she feels him staring. roan is used to stares, to people looking back at her or following her as she moved across the space. but this ? this heavy feeling that settled upon her person, like flames licking across her skin, seeping into flesh and setting her aflame ... it has her being unable to even look back at him. focused upon the feeling of the handkerchief in her hand, gripping it tightly, trying to ground herself while the stranger's eyes remained fixated upon her. unlike the stares of that roach earlier, which had bothered him intensely, this particular one wasn't as ━━━ bothersome. it was something else and roan couldn't quite figure out what. though much time to dwell on it he didn't have for that silky smooth voice rose up &. demanded attention ( and attention she gave ).

❝ ah, really ! ❞ excited, perhaps a bit too much. but roan never did like feeling like she still owed something to another. wished to pay her dues and debts or favors as quickly as she could. call it a habit or call it learned practice after being best friends with a notorious witch. ❝ yes, that sounds good to me. ❞ delicate is the way digits take hold of the extended card, flipping it over to quickly read what was written on it. a museum. it happens without her say-so: eyes widening, delighted glint coming to life within grey - green hues while pastel tinted lips curved up into a sweet smile. art and history. topics they enjoyed immensely ( even dabbled in it themselves ). pressing the card against their chest does roan fully turn towards the stranger, knees lightly brushing against his leg.

❝ thank you, casimir. i would love to visit your museum one of these days. i am park roan ... and as you can see i am dressed to party all night long. ❞ words carry laughter and it's evident that roan has become significantly more comfortable. feeling the last edges of dread washing away from his person. ❝ i work at a club not far from here but my day job is much more mundane. dealing with antique and the like ━━━ which is why i am excited to visit your work place ! ❞ the idea to get to know him better ━━━ it has her heart racing and cheeks, normally tinted a faint apple blossom, refused to lose that deep rouge shade that covered it since the moment he sat next to them. ❝ i am free this saturday and could definitely swing by. you could show me your favorite works and perhaps a coffee afterwards ? ❞ oh, they're being bold now but beggars couldn't be choosers &. roan was if not incredibly forward and bold when it came to what she wanted.

pale eyes are unable to restrain themselves from properly gathering her appearance this time; such a beautiful face paired with a voice as mellisonant as they come. like a walking piece of art both visually and by sound ... ah, he must remind himself that he mustn't stare so intensely at strangers; a habit of his to analyze and decipher the appearance of works of art to conclude how he should exhibit them for his museum .... alas, people were not simply objects of art. ( unless he made it so. ) ah ... but how beautiful would they be, amidst the pristine, wide halls of his museum, traversing through the halls to stare upon his works of art, wearing an expression either of eerie discomfort or piqued interest. like a work of art herself .... ah, he must still be staring. a brief clearing of his throat, and he resumes with a small chuckle, " it was no trouble at all, my dear. "

he watches the way she gently dabs the handkerchief across her face, and the notion alone already speaks to casimir what she potentially does for her work. something that requires her to look presentable, hm ? a performer, perhaps ? a model ? the latter would most certainly be believable. it was an inquiry he stashes in the back of his mind, not wanting to overwhelm her with the weight of his curiosity when she has yet to fully recompose herself. he waves his hand, a gesture of dismissal for ' staining ' his handkerchief. he doesn't miss the way her voice trails into something much more ... sullen. a sense of resignation in their words; it doesn't take much for casimir to understand she must feel a bit ' out of place ' after such an incident.

quickly, casimir attempts to help ground her with a light tap of his cane at his side, fingers gently moving across the smooth surface of the gem it adorned. " actually, i would be most delighted. " he chuckles, canting his head with interest exuding in his gaze. " since you seem to be in the midst of a present schedule, and i just finished my cup for the day .... perhaps an arrangement will suffice ? " he figures that he might as well take advantage of the opportunity; not to only invite this lovely individual to his museum .... but perhaps, better yet, get to know her better. ( decipher and unravel the layers of beauty that was her art form. ) he begins to rummage through his other pocket for his business card -- held between his index and middle finger, he offers it to her. " here ... my business card. casimir achim, as your service. i run the museum local to this area. "

[unholiis-a]

Anne de Marcken, from "It Lasts Forever and Then It's Over," published in 2024

[unholiis-a]

want is a fickle thing. it can be latent, simmer somewhere under the surface and slowly disappear. it can suddenly shoot up, like thorns from a bulbous rose ready to scratch and prick any who dared to come close. but it could also be like a predator, a carnivorous maw filled with endless rows of sharp teeth ready to tear any and all apart. chew upon muscle and tendon, swallow down flesh, grind bones &. gulp down blood like one is ready to drink a praying saints blood. want is holy. it's burning divinity, scorching prayers upon candle lit altars before one lays down upon it to allow themselves to be slaughtered like the willing lamb. ren's want is akin to that.

he remembers the first time he saw sami. he doesn't remember why he was in the library though ━━━ was it because he was pretending to be a student back then ? try to live the life of whomever he used to be before ? before he became different parts of different things filled with different lives. a mismatched puzzle, a rubik's cube that could not be solved, a book with torn out pages replaced with unreadable scribbles. the why or the how is not important, it never was. the end result was what mattered most: meeting sami and becoming equally enamored as he was starving. he remembers watching her through the shelves as she went through her notes, flipped through books. brows slightly furrowed, lips pursed cutely &. how unaware she was that the love of her life was watching her from a mere few feet away. ren remembers following her home, walking the street opposite to her, watching how the dim street lights created a golden halo above her, how rain drops seemed to turn into diamonds when they touched her skin. beautiful. he wanted her to stop breathing.

sami would remember their first official meeting as the one in a cafe. the perfect meet cute. notes scattering, offering a helping hand, sweet smiles and stumbled thank you's. ink blessed hues that refused to leave her person, sinking into her, keeping her hostage in the void that was his self and he'd be lost in the warmth of her sweet eyes. that brief touch between their fingers that day was enough for the chimera to cling on to. ah ━━━ did he not try to preserve her touch ? her scent ? almost biting the flesh of their own finger pads off trying to taste her. no. they did bite off their own fingers that day, swallowed it down, relived the way it slid down through throat before he had to bring it back up again for the taste was long gone. even when they sat there in their room sewing own fingers back together tongue was hungry for the girl that captivated them so.

and now she tastes so vividly upon tongue and he wants more ━━━ but then, oh then she suddenly moves away. surprise briefly flickers within visible eye, lips parted to speak, perhaps to plead but all he can do is stare at the way sami ( flushed and shaking ) starts to collect her belongings. was this too much for her ? no. it couldn't be ! she was the one ! a goddess born to be sustenance to her most devout follower: ren. ❝ ... huh ? ❞ he does not resist when he's pulled along, eagerly follows her, pays no mind to the whispers and the looks they're getting. ever only fixated upon her.

kiss me.

that's all he hears and suddenly the world feels like it's spinning, the fog within mind increasing and becoming a delirious haze that pushes ren to continue to fall. she's so pretty like this. pearly droplets clinging to the corner of her eyes, glistening lips trembling and every curve and angle of her body pressed tightly against his. where did she end and he begin ? the scent of blood is strong ( the cuts within her thighs stopped bleeding but ren could still smell it ). now that he has her pliant and willing ren doesn't even know where to start ! she's so kind, so helpful ! wants to help him ! of course he can forgive her if he can't eat her now. he can eat her in different ways after all.

❝ sami. ❞ barely above a whisper, a breath in the wind, almost swallowed down by the traffic not far away from them. hands come to rest upon hips, gripping tight, pressing tightly against it. ❝ thank you. ❞ lips curve upwards into a sweet smile before the chimera allows soft laughter to escape, delighted and utterly pleased. hands find home upon soft cheeks, cup them within hands as he stares up at teary eyes, takes it all in. times seems to move slower as he moves hand a little, brushing the pad of his thumb over her lower lip. over and over again as if to memorize the feeling of it, imprint it within his body. a beat of silence. of no movement, nothing stirring the air before he suddenly pulls her down into a kiss. lips brushing across hers, slanted, feeling her warmth contrast the utter cold of their own body ━━━ feels the warmth of her breath through her nose washing over his cheeks.

this is not enough however: they want more. need more. demand more even. what is a kiss if not the beginning of eating your lover ? having them part before you as you dine upon their insides ? ren pushes, feels the way the soft pillow of her mouth would soon give way to his pressure and grant eager tongue permission to find hers but not before teeth sink deep into bottom lip, harsh, fully intending to break skin and have it never mended again. ren's teeth are sharp, a predators maw, and it has found its prey. digging into sami's lips and tasting her. all that she was ... this blood of hers ━━━ it was different. something burning, something ravenous, something completely divine and it has the creature moaning into her mouth. lapping at her lip, suckling it, collecting the blood within his own mouth before he shamelessly poured it back into hers.

sharing her blood, first warmed and tasted by his own tongue, then transferred to her mouth, wanting her to drink it. swallow down their shared blood like it was a communal service of two. drink, drink, drink ! his words remain unspoken but such is the message as tongue digs deep inside her mouth. hands had long been removed from cheeks, travelled lower to settle upon her hips, gripping it tightly and pushing her lowerbody against his. ren moans into her mouth, shifting body slightly in order for his knee to press between her legs, pushing them apart so it could settle between thighs. dangerously close to her center. ❝ hah, more. i need more, sami. ❞ bloodied lips, bloodied chin and cheeks. painted in the colors of her heavenly ichor ( to ren she was divine ). the chimera, holding her hips, slowly pulls her body forward, feeling her glide across his knee. ❝ does this feel good, sami ? do you want more, sami ? i can make you feel really good. i can eat you ━━━ in a different way too. ❞

it continues - of course it continues. why wouldn't it? it's a vicious cycle, it just keeps going and going. is this a test of your faith? a test of your morals? and what happens when you fail and end up falling into the hands of temptation? you have no wings, no halo that hovers above your head to remind people of what you are - you have nothing but the knowledge that angelic blood flows through your veins, that your skin has heavenly glow to it, that you are blessed and have been since birth.. that's all you have. you are an angel on paper, a human in the eyes of others.

yet you've enticed something. indulged their desire and let their sinful tongue cascade 'cross skin and have a taste of you to the point that you worry. their teeth are so close to being able to sink themselves into your flesh 'til the crunch of your bones is heard as they chomp on fingers like an appetizer to their meal, making sure to eat everything - the bone, the marrow, the meat, the muscle.. you can almost see the bloodstained teeth and that drooling maw that begs for more, more, more. will he ever be satisfied? is that something he can be?

everything is too much right now, it feels like you're about to burst. as if your lungs will explode from taking too many harsh intakes of air, as if your heart will implode from the stress that weighs it down as it slams into your ribs. it races as you try and focus but you can't do it, you can't do it, you can't do it. you're staring at a page but the words aren't clicking, unable to comprehend what you've read despite reading it over and over and over. the letters are mashing together, all blurry and unable to be deciphered. your dyslexia is bad, sure, but never this bad.. it's like your brain has melted, a soup of sorts for him to slurp 'pon.

it doesn't matter much in the end.

you hear his voice as you look away, it fills your ears like cotton and makes the world harder to pay attention to. his volume is normal yet you feel as if it's all you can hear. impatience drips from every word that he speaks, desire seeping through the cracks like a disease.

your gaze shifts back to him despite how much you wished it didn't, hooked 'pon his eyes the moment yours finds it again, staring at ink-colored irises with something complicated blooming inside your chest. the feeling worsens when he kisses your fingers like something meant to be loved, something meant to be worshipped. you wonder what he sees, what he tastes, what he smells or thinks that has him placing up 'pon pedestal when most people wouldn't even give you a second glance.

what's so special about you? to you, there's nothing. you're plain, simple, boring; a dime a dozen, a piece of hay within a haystack. so why is he insist on eating you? why is he getting up to walk over towards you, as if the distance was too great and now he wants to be close enough that you two become one in the same? you don't get it. you don't understand. but you want to.

you want it. whatever this is, you think you have a weird liking to it to the point where you feel sick. there's bile crawling up your throat at the thought but you're not pushing him away, not moving to place any sort of space between you two. instead you're wondering if it means something beyond the consumption of your flesh.. does he care about you? does he like you? no one ever has. you're desperate for it, you find yourself wanting again.

he closes your notebook and you can't bring yourself to care or stop him from doing it. you're stuck within his gaze, like a fly within a spiderweb or a gnat in a sea of honey, helpless wings flapping against the sweetness or the web but unable to get away, only alerting the spider to come back or for you to sink deeper into the sugary treat you've found yourself far too greedy and gluttonous for. then he gets so close to you, so insanely close.. only to lick your lips.

yes, this must be sinning. this must be a spit in the face of the God you follow and the angels that watch with disgust in their gazes.. his nails press into your pants 'til the skin beneath it tears open, droplets of blood stains the fabric as you breath catches in throat, stutters on its exhale out as you whine. you can't take it, your mind is smoke-filled and sap-covered. it's hard to think, it's hard to be rational when all of that has long since been thrown out the window.

you want to get down on knees and plead for forgiveness from anyone, everyone. so why are you pushing against him to get up, turning away to shove all of your things into your bag as quickly as you can? your body is burning up as if hell has come to claim you already, the flames nipping at your feet and scolding your skin 'til it left it a tinted bright red. once all of your study materials are inside the bag, you don't spare anyone else a single look, you don't pay them any mind at all as you reach over and grab him by the hand, pulling him along 'til you exit.

you can't be here when he's doing this, the stares feel like judgement and shame. you don't stop 'til you reach an alley, guiding him to it for the smallest shred of privacy, even if its with the grime of the city. well, how fitting is that? to be around the trash and the revolting dirt? it's what you deserve now, you think - it's where you belong. you press back against wall 'til bricks scraped and poked into you, looking at him with emotions flickering in brown eyes like a broken streetlamp at 9pm at night. you open your mouth. you close it. you open it again and say, " kiss me here. i-i.. i don't want them to see.. it's.. " begging for something from the person who wants to devour you.. you're burning up from the inside.

" please, " watery eyes and a pout on lips, confusion settled onto features. you don't know how to feel about this at all but you know this - no one has kissed you before. is it wrong to be greedy about it? to be a glutton? to ask for a kiss when he might see you only as dinner? that doesn't matter anymore, it can't matter anymore. your other hand reaches up and grips onto shirt tightly and pulls him closer 'til bodies press against each other, no more space being placed betwixt you two. " ren, i-i don't know when i can let you do that.. let you eat me.. but i just.. please kiss me, something, anything. i'm sorry.. "

[unholiis-a]

she's still rattled. still trying to calm herself down even when the threat has already been taken care off. roan's smile is perhaps less ... perfect than that of the stranger. it's a bit shaky, something not quite there, something still trying to become whole but failing miserable. the performer tries her best though: if anything to show that she was thankful and trying to work through the whole ordeal. gaze follows him and finds the cafe he was referring to, oh, that one. it was a staple in this street, known for its sweets and nice ( but sometimes also quite odd ) customer service. it was an experience. ❝ oh, i see. well, you were at the right place at the right time then. i didn't pay much attention to who was around me before ... but i am sure lots ignored with what was happening. so thank you again for actually going through the effort ━━━ and trouble to help me out. ❞

and roan is thankful. incredibly so ( and a tad bit embarrassed to be caught in such a situation ). brows rise when they're offered a hand kerchief and cheeks flush. flustered. did they look like such a mess already ? ❝ ... hah, thank you. you keep on saving the day, hmm ? ❞ they take the hand kerchief with all the grace they can muster &. hold it within hand as the other rummages through their bag, seemingly searching for something and when she's finally found it there is a small, vintage looking compact mirror within delicate hand. carefully does she dab at her face, trying not ruin her make - up in the process. ❝ and i have to practice for a performance later ━━━ like this. i'll be scolded for sure ... ❞ murmured words while they inspected themselves until all was picture perfect again. snapping the mirror shut does he finally return gaze towards the stranger, this time he looks a bit more settled, more comfortable. the spark within grey - green hues returning.

❝ i know i keep saying it but thank you. for the help and this ... ❞ playfully does roan wave the handkerchief within the air. ❝ it's stained with a bit of glitter i fear. so i think i'll have to keep this but ! if it's alright with you and i am not imposing ━━━ i would like to treat you to a coffee ? you left yours in a hurry and i don't know ... i'll feel bad if i just leave like this. but also ... it's your choice ! no need to say yes if you don't want to. i don't want to make this uncomfortable for you. oh no, i am rambling ... uhm ... yeah. hah, okay ... ❞ the hand kerchief is squeezed within hand as she tried to look everywhere but at the gallant gentleman. let the ground swallow her up right now and may she be spared the embarrassment.

such a shame people like her must undergo something like this, perhaps more often than it should. while casimir is relatively indifferent to the troubles humans go through, it didn't mean he didn't have his opinions when it came to the social trials of certain humans. ( well, trials is too professional of a word ... inconveniences is more suitable. ) he's seen and bear witness to situations like this before; where the follies and simple - minded fragility of men think they are owed. ... an irritating display. perhaps, it's why casimir actually got up from where he was seated to step in; it was relatively satisfying scaring off that little roach ... ah. but where are his manners ? best to adhere to her request to keep her company for the time being.

his smile never leaves him; readjusting himself and making himself comfortable in the seat right beside her. the cane settles on the side opposite of her's, maintaining enough of a polite distance for her to recompose herself. he crosses his leg over the other, gloved hands folding together over his knee as casimir quickly reassures her, " there's no need to apologize. no time is being taken from me. as a matter of fact, i just happened to be nearby and enjoying my cup of coffee right across the street over there -- " he gestures to the cafe in front of them. " until i noticed you were being troubled by that pest earlier. " an amused scoff escapes beneath the curator's breath. " such a lack of common sense, that one ... but all that matters is that you're alright. "

there is relief across his smile; while a mask, it was nonetheless a socially trained one. casimir wasn't one to necessarily play ' hero ' or anything of that sort; so this ... situation was new to him. regardless, he is nonetheless well - versed in understanding her distress and the anxiety that plagued her. it's why when he takes notice of the way there was a hint of sweat clinging to her face, he begins to pull out a handkerchief from the pocket of his suit. the pristine, clean white fabric contrasts against the black gloves that adorn his hands ... he offers it to them. " here. would you like to use this ? "

[unholiis-a]

study ˙ ⟡ yoito — haunting &. hunger

i want to talk about yoito and some of their prominent themes. love as hunger + love as a haunting are two of their biggest ones ( and personally my favorite ones i conjured for them ). there is an overlap with the two but there's also a distinct difference with them and to what kind of people each applies ( and where it applies solely to themselves ). though in this post i want to focus on love as hunger / consumption.

love as hunger

with yoito there's almost one driving force: consume. whether it's literal or metaphorical matters little. there is a need of needless consumption within him, the desire to continuously devour and wanting to be filled until he all but overflows with it. and when he encounters someone that piques his interest he all but withers if he can't devour them. and i mean that literally. yoito becomes hungry for this person, becomes desperate in wanting to be around them, desperate in having a taste. the idea of 'becoming one with the one you love' is not something sweetly romantic nor a figure of speech ... it's knowing that yoito will eat you because that's the only way he knows how to love. eat their lover and have them inside them, become part of his flesh, his blood, his deadless soul. being loved by yoito is a horror. it's realizing that his love is consumption. that his love is opening your ribcage for him so he can crawl inside it. it's opening your mouth so he can pour his blood inside you before having you return it to him. being loved by yoito is knowing that he'll be your killer.

which is why ... relationships with humans ... will always be so tricky with him. and why relationships with supernatural creatures or humans with gifts / superpowers can turn extremely gory. because if he rips you open and you heal again ... he'll do it over and over again. revel in the fact that he can dig inside you, eat parts of you and you'll still survive ! it will drive him mad surely but at least it will sate him for a long while. it'll become sustenance for him. an addiction. yoito is an embodiment of the horror of wanting ( and willing to destroy the object of your affection for it ). because there will never be anything more beautiful than knowing that you're the reason the light in your love's eyes dims.

⟡ lastly : i need it to be known that yoito's love IS love, it's just not the kind of love that's suited for ... quite literally 99% of existing creatures. his love is not any less just because at the end he wishes to eat you or keep parts of you as keepsakes. it's genuine for him. he's truly, truly enamored with you. it's just a pity you can't enjoy it for a long time before you become a part of him.

[unholiis-a]

i actually cooked chat. i genuinely did that.

[unholiis-a]

𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃  &  𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐅𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄    (a  series  of  nonverbal  prompts .   mature  themes  present ,   ‘ my ’  muse  belongs  to  the  one who  posted  the  meme  -  send   “ + REVERSE ”   to  reverse  the  prompts .)

→     𝐈 .    GENERAL

❛   hush .   raise  a  finger  in  a  gesture  to  silence  my  muse . ❛   sit .   gesture  for  my  muse  to  sit  down . ❛   door .   hold  a  door  open  for  my  muse . ❛   tap .   tap  my  muse  on  the  shoulder  to  garner  their  attention . ❛   hunger .   give  my  muse  something  to  eat  /  drink . ❛   cook .   present  my  muse  with  home - cooked  food . ❛   brush .   work  a  brush  /  comb  through  my  muse’s  hair . ❛   read .   silently  read  a  book  alongside  my  muse . ❛   hand .   hold  out  a  hand  for  my  muse  to  take . ❛   dressed .   help  my  muse  put  on  an  article  of  clothing . ❛   note .   give  my  muse  a  note  saying :   [ content ] . ❛   amplify .   turn  up  the  music  in  the  car .

→     𝐈𝐈 .    ANGST

❛   patch .   help  my  muse  patch  up  a  wound . ❛   night terrors .   hold  my  muse  after  they  wake  up  from  a  nightmare . ❛   company .   silently  sit  with  my  muse  to  comfort  them. ❛   hospital .   my  muse  is  told  that  yours  is  in  the  hospital . ❛   revelation .   show  my  muse  evidence  of  a  lie  they  told . ❛   indulge .   find  my  muse  drinking  to  cope . ❛   downfall .   find  my  muse  collapsed  on  the  ground . ❛   console .   comfort  my  muse  as  they  cry . ❛   nurse .   give  my  muse  company  in  the  hospital .

→     𝐈𝐈𝐈 .    AFFECTIONATE

❛   wink .   wink  at  my  muse .  ❛   wrap .   wrap  an  arm  around  my  muse’s  [ shoulders  /  waist ] . ❛   caress .   gently  caress  my  muse’s  face . ❛   tousle .   mess  playfully  with  my  muse’s  hair . ❛   chest .   place  your  head  on  my  muse’s  chest .    ❛   comb .   comb  fingers  through  my  muse’s  hair . ❛   grasp .   run  to  my  muse  &  jump  into  their  arms . ❛   lean .   lean  on  my  muse’s  shoulder . ❛   tender .   kiss  my  muse  on  the  [ forehead  /  cheek  /  nose ] . ❛   abrupt .   kiss  my  muse  out  of  the  blue . ❛   chaste .   chastely  kiss  my  muse . ❛   good morning .   kiss  my  muse  the  morning  after . ❛   volumes .   gaze  at  my  muse  in  a  way  that  silently  says  ‘i love you’ .

→     𝐈𝐕  .    VIOLENT

❛   strike .   [ slap / punch ]  my muse in the face . ❛   gun .   wield  a  gun  at  my  muse . ❛   twist .   twist  my  muse’s  arm  behind  their  back . ❛   throttle .   aggressively  wrap  your  hands  around  my  muse’s  throat . ❛   parch .   burn  my  muse  with  a  hot  object . ❛   take down .   forcefully  bring  my  muse  to  the  ground . ❛   gouge .   wield  a  sharp  object  at  my  muse . ❛  shunt .   shove  my  muse  backwards . ❛  stickup .   yell  at  my  muse  to  put  their  hands  in  the  air. ❛  shoot .   [ fatally  /  non-fatally ]   shoot  my  muse . ❛  stab .   stab  my  muse with a  [ knife / other object ].

→     𝐕 .    NSFW

❛   surprise .   send  an  unexpected  nsfw  image  to  my  muse . ❛   pin .   push  my  muse  against  a  [ wall,  table,  other ] . ❛   go down .   go  down  on  my  muse . ❛   choke .   intimately  wrap  your  hands  around  my  muse’s  throat . ❛   belt loops .   pull  my  muse  closer  by  their  belt loops . ❛   skinny dipping .   go  skinny  dipping  with  my  muse . ❛   rip .   tear  a  piece  of  clothing  from  my  muse’s  body . ❛   mark .   leave  a  mark  on  my  muse’s  body  [ specify where ] .

[unholiis-a]

✱˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐀 𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 . ( a collection of lyric prompts based on various works by florence + the machine . adjust phrasing as necessary , will likely be updated in the future . )

it's always darkest before the dawn .

we will find new saints to be canonized .

holy water cannot help you now .

the horses are coming , so you'd better run .

i never felt so alive and so dead .

i'm damned if i do , i'm damned if i don't .

i've always been in love with you .

what has been done cannot be undone .

i don't care whether i live or die .

we will never be afraid again .

i feel nervous in a way that can't be named .

it was so far a fall , but it didn't hurt at all .

the saints can't help me now .

i want to find you and tear out all of your tenderness .

sooner or later , the things you love , you lose .

run fast for your mother , run fast for your father .

i like to think , at least , things can't get any worse .

i would give all this and heaven too .

i was in the darkness , so darkness i became .

all my stumbling phrases never amounted to anything worth this feeling .

in order to get to the heart of things , sometimes you have to cut through .

i'll be dead before the day is done .

time after time , i think "oh lord , what's the use ?"

the heart is hard to translate , it has a language of its own .

it was all so strange and so surreal .

i'm not here looking for absolution .

now and then , it seems that life is just too much .

be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers .

if you could only see the beast you've made of me .

pretty little face stopped me in my tracks .

i'm aching to attack .

you want a revelation , some kind of resolution .

it's so easy to say it to a crowd , but it's so hard to say it to you aloud .

i don't want your heart , it leaves me cold .

i am no mother , i am no bride , i am king .

she's a cruel mistress , and a bargain must be made .

well , me and my ghosts had a hell of a time .

with all my education i can't seem to command my heart .

it's a conversation i just can't have tonight .

you left me in the dark . no dawn , no day .

jesus christ , it hurts .

a woman is a changeling , always shifting shape .

the very thing you're best at is the thing that hurts the most .

i'll cut your little heart out 'cause you made me cry .

i knew that somehow , i could find my way back .

a thousand armies couldn't keep me out .

i'm ready to suffer and i'm ready to hope .

you've got the love i need to see me through .

is this how it is ? is this how it's always been ?

you keep me up at night .

oh , tell me it's not over yet .

no walls can keep me protected .

i'm going out , i'm gonna drink myself to death .

time goes quicker between the two of us .

would you leave me if i told you what i'd done ?

now , there's no holding back .

oh god , you're gonna get it .

you need your rotten heart and dazzling pain like diamond rings .

in the dark , i can hear your heartbeat .

i never knew my killer would be coming from within .

i was never as good as i always thought i was , but i knew how to dress it up .

don't forget me when i let the water take me .

this world is a beast of a burden .

you know i still like you the most .

what a thing to admit .

sometimes i think it's getting better , then it gets much worse .

i'm on fire , but i'm trying not to show it .

you are the space in my bed .

would you have it any other way ?

things go wrong , no matter what i do .

you make a fool of death with your beauty .

now she sleeps with one eye open , and that's the price she'll pay .

they were there when i woke up this morning .

heaven help me , i need to make it right .

until i wrap myself inside your arms , i cannot rest .

when someone looks at me with real love , i don't like it very much .

would you leave me if i told you what i've become ?

i'm always running from something .

it's good to be alive , crying into cereal at midnight .

okay , but let's discuss this at the hospital .

i know everybody lets you down , and i'll do the same .

your heart is the only place i can call home .

i wish to remain nameless , and live without shame .

sometimes i feel like saying "lord , i just don't care" .

i would put my words into poetry for you if i knew how .

if they ever let me out , i'm really gonna let it out .

but know , in some way , i'm there with you .

i've been wandering the streets for days .

don't let them get you down , you're the best thing i've ever seen .

how could anything bad ever happen to you ?

you couldn't have it any other way .

it's the only way i can escape .

what a place to come from .

little did you know your home's really only a town you're just a guest in .

run for your children , for your sisters and brothers .

you can't choose what stays and what fades away .

you'll be sorry that you messed with us .

call me when you need me .

although we stick together , it seems we're stranging each other .

this is as good a place to fall as any .

in your place there were a thousand other faces .

here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope .

lay me down , let the only sound be the overflow .

there's no salvation for me now .

i'd do anything to make you stay .

what's in a name ? i still remain the same .

i've been taking chances , i've been setting myself up for the fall .

tell me what you want me to say .

you are the silence in between what i thought and what i said .

i've been a fool , and i've been blind .

i never knew daylight could be so violent .

regrets collect like old friends , here to visit for your darkest moments .

so you packed your bags just to wait out the shitstorm ?

my doe , my dear , my darling ...

you're my head , you're my heart .

everyone lets you down in this brief hole of a town .

i'm not giving up , i'm just giving in .

i've been losing sleep , i've been keeping myself awake .

sometimes i feel like throwing my hands up in the air .

the only solution was to stand and fight .

i don't know how it started , don't know how to stop it .

i'm done with my graceless heart .

i can never leave the past behind .

do they speak to you ? 'cause they speak to me too .

i thought that love was a kind of emptiness .

it's hard to dance with a devil on your back .

sometimes i wonder if i should be medicated .

every demon wants his pound of flesh .

tell me what all the sighing's about .

could you tell from the moment we met ?

i heard your voice as clear as day ... you told me i should concentrate .

all my girls have their lace and their crimes .

i like to keep some things to myself .

no one asks any questions here .

the feeling comes so fast and i can't control it .

you came over me like some holy rite .

i was screaming out a language i had no idea existed before .

i thought that love was on stage , giving yourself away to strangers .

leave all your love and your longing behind , you can't carry it with you if you want to survive .

i thought that love was in the drugs , but the more i took the more it took away .

i never wanted anything from you , except everything you had and what's left after that too .

i don't want your future , i don't need your past . one grand moment is all i ask .