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Maybe ( draft )

I should tell you.

That you look so ethereal playing the perfect keys to that instrument. Eyes so focused yet you so easily drape your fingers to the right tone, knowing the board like the back of your hand.

That you so effortlessly look so breathtaking in my eyes. Cheeks turning up as your smile broadens when our eyes locked. Maybe…

Your beautiful being makes me absentmindedly blush as the thought of you crosses my packed mind.

But maybe, I’m not the only one who notices these things.

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In Anywhere, There is You

I never thought I’d label myself as blind, but it’s true.

Although I’ve always been keen on my surroundings, I’ve never actually thought about their purpose and what they mean or do. Just a passing canvas of painting is all what it was to me. Always so pretty, but never worth looking over.

But ever since I met You, I’ve come to look deeper. As if scales were falling from my eyes, I began to see the reason. I began to see You.

As if Light shining through, and taking a peek of what’s inside. You’ve shown me that truly, there is beauty in everything, but not just because. Never just because.

All those green that was so so pretty in my eyes, I thought they were just there for us to breathe in. I mean, yes, it is there for our oxygen, but they’re also there for the animals. Providing food and shelter, providing rest. Which is eye opening, because that’s what You are.

You provide, You give us shelter and fortress, and God, You are our rest.

The sky, thinking that it’s just there to stop us from going to outer space, but no. It’s Your own personal canvas, each color and cloud is made different in each day. Colors always synchronizes with each other into a perfect hue. It may rain, and drop some life wrecking challenges, but each of it is a lesson from You. And each challenge led us to You.

Or maybe the sun shining through my face when I just woke up. Like waking me up to start the day with You, anchoring myself in Your words to help me throughout the day, for You provide reassurance that the upcoming day is something new, how beautiful is that?

Like the wind too, running through my skin as if it’s a hug from You. The chilling blanket provided comfort as You pass through, dancing in tune with the flowers. Pretty as You made them.

The oceans striking mystery reminds me of You too. For You are beautiful on the surface, much more as I dive deeper to get to know You. Unraveling Your stories and love as I feel Your pressure.

My God, You are beautiful. In each and every way You intended it to. You opened my eyes to witness the wonderful creation You’ve given us.

Lord, in Anywhere, I see You.

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I Guess

I thought I was okay. Thought I was finally over you. I wasn’t making so much fuss anymore whenever I saw you, nor was I recalling every time that our eyes met. I couldn’t care less anymore, to be honest. I’ve come to accept it. I’m not someone you know or someone you’re close to, what chance is there that you’ll feel the same? slim. slim as the patience I have longing for you. Surely it’s delusion keeping me awake at night. But no. I’ve accepted it.

So why did you have to show up? why ruin the already mended security. I don’t like you anymore. Or at least I thought I don’t. Why did you have to be that cruel? offering those smiles that reaches yours eyes, unlike the ones you gave before when I first met you. Why were you always so close whenever I try to get away from you? I told myself already that I don’t like you anymore.

But who am I kidding? I’ve always been a great cloud. Hiding the shining and bright feelings I have for you in the night. Surrounded by those that surely has more chance with you, I take my moon away and hid. But I can’t stay far long, can’t I? It’s you that kept coming. Just leave me be. I’m already at peace with the pain, you know? pain that you never caused. It’s just me and my dramatic ass that wounded myself with the sharp ends of hope.

I told the big lover in the night sky about you, how you hurt me without ever touching me. I can’t seem to comprehend these feelings and thoughts I have whenever it’s you. Maybe I should just drown once more and hide myself along with this longing I felt for you.

I love you. But I guess I’ll just tell the moon about you.

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What about those that I dislike?

Pray for those you dislike. Through prayer, God can help you see people through His eyes. Then, don’t be so quick to make up your mind about who they really are and what they should be or shouldn’t do. Judging others is better left to God because it is so easy for us to misjudge people. He sets the standard for accepting others.

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The devil will try to weaken you by draining your energy, confidence, and hope. Don't waste your time overthinking or stressing about things outside of your control. Instead, trust in God's perfect timing and find peace in His love and care for you. Remember that God never sleeps or rests, so there's no need to stay awake worrying. He is always working to help you, even when you can't see it. Let go of your worries and trust in His plan. Embrace the comfort and peace that only He can offer.

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Love, Peace

To find love, is to find peace.

Being able to enjoy the tranquil state of the world and time passing by, I suppose, is what l'd call love.

Finding the little things to be a reason of why I love is hoping that you’d be able to understand it just like I did. Being able to be here with you in silence and not feeling any harsh spike of the chaos outside these four walls, ls what I'd call peace.

The mundane task that became a bore seemed enjoyable if i'm doing it with you.

It doesn’t make any sense.

But I guess that's why I love you.

I never liked the simplicity, or the deafening silence. Just that I love being in it with you.

To find peace, is to love you

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House of Cards

Should I? or should I not?

My wrong decision might be your right path.

Maybe it was naivity, but ignorance really is bliss. Even when the house of cards we built is trembling from the anger that started this fire.

A solemn promise, our shared intimacy that we ought to keep. Words passed by our ears like whispered wind, all these secrets you promised to keep.

You promised you'll lock it to your chest, so why does someone else have the key?

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It takes loving to hurt

It takes loving someone, to hurt someone...

Because what do you mean that you know that ignoring me will make me relentlesly overthink if I did something wrong? what do you mean that you put peppercorns in my food because you know I hate it? what do you mean that you targeted my most vulnerable self just because you know I don’t talk abont me often?

Why do you know all these things?

Unless you've spent enough time with me, that is. Enough time to carefully observe what turns my nose away. Enough time to know that I hate sweet things just to give me spicy ones. Enough time to listen to my rants.

Like what do you mean that

"You love me enough that you know how to hurt me?”

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Work Song - By Hozier

“When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her”

If one day I do die, know that my love for you will not be with me.

It would stay with you, as you are my love.

So let them utter your name above my grave, watch as l rise from my slumber to feel my love once again.

No grave can hold my body down, I’ll dig my way up to tell you stories with the name you just muttered. And you will see the beauty that I've witnessed when I was nowhere but with my baby.

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I don’t like being left alone.

I don't like being left in my thoughts.

It gets messy.

My mind gets jumbled up even when it’s shackled. Feels like it's trying to escape.

Words are not even formed in my head, just a string of a black line that kept tugging itself to be set free, but the moment that I do try to set it Free? It's suddenly around my neck, choking me.

Laboured breathing comes in and out of my chest, trying to keep the outlooked emotions that I couldn't confront inside of me. Shifting eyes tries to look for an escape, one that would lead me out of this misery. My ears tries to differentiate the voices and noises, but they're all the same in my head. Trembling fingers try to hold onto what’s real and true, each and every sensations are all the same and nothing new.

I don’t like to be left with my thoughts.

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7 days

Soft winds.

That's what I felt when I first saw you.

Your hair dancing with the air like a long time companion. I wanted to run my fingers through your ebony locks, wondering if it's as soft as the winds.

Lost eyes.

Wandering through the crowd as you look for your friends, eyes lighting up as you saw them. As you gathered, you sat down. talking with them, recalling the days passed, your eyes lit up the 2nd time.

Your friend made a joke.

You laughed. Joy seemed to envelop your face like a warm blanket. A cat-like snicker escaped your lips as someone tripped. Another chuckle left your lips, like the soft chime of dangling bells. What's so funny?

4 times.

That's how many times our eyes met. But it wasn't the same look you gave your friends. It was a look as If I stole your home. Are those glances even worth it? I wanted to poke your eyes for sure.

The day of the event.

5, five, cinco. That's the number of how many times I whispered your name. I couldn't find you. Each time I breathed your name i hoped you'd appear. You're getting annoying.

With you sitting on that chair, so out of reach. I stole glances. With every turn, I hoped you’d get closer. Six butterflies passed by you each time glanced at you. Why did my heart ached?

Last day.

7th day. I saw you, for the last time. Getting out of that jeep. Longing as I never had the chance to talk to you. Now wishing that I should’ve just approached you, Fuck.

7 days is all it took for me to get hooked.

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You

You have no idea on how hard I try not to think of you. How I always stop my mind from wondering about you. Always avoiding every single thing that reminds me of you.

From the baggy outfits that I see on people, I can’t help but think that they look better on you, that it falls perfectly on your frame and enveloping you in a warmth that I’d like to bury myself in.

To the people that are moving to the musics’ rhythm, they're no one but humans who knows how to move their body but you, oh God you. It's like you're made for dancing, the way you flow in sync and perfectly with the beat, I couldn't help but move and dance with you.

But each of these reminds me of you, and I need to stop. Because I know for a fact that your love cond never be mine.

And as I try to rid myself with the thought of you, just know that my love will always be yours.

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I miss you

We didn’t talk, our eyer never met. always a step too far from each other.

Always out of reach...

Can’t you be any more close?

Everyday, I wish it would be a bit different. That you’d be the one reaching instead of me. That you’d be the one longing instead of me. That you'd be the one suffering, but no.

I’m the one losing my mind,

Wondering what you’re up to.

I'm the one who wants to get closer to you.. always missing you.

I hate it. I miss you.

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Me

I cant seem to like myself.

I never liked how my hair falls around my face. I don’t like looking in the mirror just to see my least favorite person staring back. I never liked how my thoughts kept ruining everything that was offered to me.

But at the came time, I cant bring myself to hate her. Her who has been fed lies to the brink or despising herself. Her who has been cautious about everything that involves her just because some peope couldn't keep their words to themselves.

For she was nothing but a child who wasnt able to fathom the poison induced words they've spoken. A child that never knew how to protect herself from peoples impossible standards as nobody was ever there to teach her how to.

She, Her, they're all me.

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Not About You

My poems are not about you.

The letters I write are never about you.

They don’t define you, nor do they speak about you like how everyone else would.

They’re about my feelings for you.

It’s all about how my thoughts run wild when I see you around, or when I see your cheeks flush a rosy hue whenever you give those sweet smile.

My poems shows the feelings I have every time that I miss you. I write these words that I can’t seem to keep inside my head whenever I get hollowed feeling when you’re not around.

My poems are never about you.

It’s all about how I slowly but surely fall for each and every piece of you.

How I slowly lose my mind longing for you.

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Nostalgia

Always so sweet, laughter comes easy from as it came from something so innocent. Like carousel chimes, the sound of laughing children brings the bittersweet memories of childhood.

With how easy it was to just run around, playing with your friends. Smiles that can never be kept anywhere but the pockets of a nostalgic yesterday. Oh how I wish that things would always be the same.

Maybe if I could just pause the time, and look at the picturesque like memories. Or press the rewind button, not to change everything but to re-do it once more and feel the soft sweet thing called childhood.

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Art Gallery

I watched as every emotion crept up on your face, leaving its mark like a paintbrush on a canvas. As it dried up, remnants of those emotions stayed, and so did that small smile that still graces your face.

Your being bursts with color when you're with someone you're close to. It's as if each element of your personality and essence has been carefully crafted to complement each other, creating a beautiful synergy akin to a piece of art.

Your smile, laugh, dedication, passion, gentle gestures, and the way your eyes flutter when you see something you like - these are just a few things that make you so endearing to me.

I could stare at you all day, and every time I would realize that to you, I've fallen. I'd go ahead and try to imprint your art-like existence on a paper, or even fill a sketchbook about all the qualities you have that I adore.

But regardless, nothing I could capture in words or images could compare to the beauty I experience when I feel your presence surrounding me. The euphoria of being in your company is simply unparalleled.

It's as if being in your presence is like walking into a gallery of fine art, each moment a masterpiece. The feelings of joy and warmth I experience are like the colors on the canvas, vivid and captivating, making everything else seem dull in comparison.