unpromblematicpimpcess

[unpromblematicpimpcess]

attempt at expressing my feelings #7

Welp. I tried.

I’m not going to I guess force you to think of me. I am just gonna let the universe handle it. If you come back then, you come back but until then the show must go on. I’m not gonna lie, I must the fuck outta you and it feels weird not talking to you but this is what needs to happen. Not only for you but for me as well. But I wish you the best during this time of separation and continue to create marvelous content that I know you can. I will continue to support you from a distance.   

[unpromblematicpimpcess]

attempt at expressing my feelings #6

There is work that needs to be done. But every time I start a project or an assignment, I get bored or tired of that shit super fucking quick. There are so many things that I need and want to do but I don’t know how I will be able to do them all.

Things I Want to Do:

Designs for my “FanSign” Merch

Yoga/Meditate

Video editing

Photography

Web Developing and Designing

Exercise

Write Down Affirmations

Hang with friends

Things I Need to Do:

Cleaning and Organizing my Room

Spring Cleaning

Homework and Studying

Laundry

Cooking

Paperwork and Transfer Documents

Find and Collect Stuff for Dorm room

Skincare and Haircare

Get a SummerJob

This is too much me to handle right now. Why do I think that I have the mental capacity to take all this to the head? But if I don't do it who will.  

[unpromblematicpimpcess]

attempt at expressing my feelings #5

I DID IT BITCH!!! I put on my big girl panties or grew so balls and DMd my best friend. Once at 12:22 am on Instagram and the other at 2:22 am on Twitter both with the same message. I got tired of waiting. I was not going to not let a friendship thrive when it damn well come have. He told me that he appreciates me basically voicing my emotions and HE SAID LOVE 

BITCHHHHHHHHHH

That made me happy asf but he didn't want me to blame myself but its too damn late for that shit. I gave him a real ass apology. Yo I'm growing up so fast  (*sheds tear*). But after apologizing I feel 200x better than I did the beginning of the week. But I still have work to do but im proud. Im still stressed from other things going on around me but at least that is done. Now its time to deal with this college shit. 

[unpromblematicpimpcess]

attempt at expressing my feelings #4

On the outside, I'm doing fine. Everything is ok and nothing is wrong. Oh, but on the inside, a bitch is fucking drowning. Homework is stressing me out, I’m having problems getting my AA finished and drowning in paperwork and documents that are required for my next college. And did I fail to mention that the relationship with my parents is still terrible, my mental health right now is on the rocks, and my room and clothes are a huge fucking mess. Oh, and to put the icing on the motherfucking layer cake, my best friend isn't speaking to me. THE MAIN PERSON THAT I FUCKING NEED RIGHT NOW TO KEEP ME AFLOAT ISNT SPEAKING TO ME!!! I want us to be able to work this shit out but only if the other person is ready and will to talk. But if I do talk will he listen. I already don't know how to convey my emotions to someone through text or over the phone without it looking or sounding dumb asf. I wanna wait but Aries got me waiting to be hella fucking impulsive and just text his ass. Wait I can’t blame Aries. This mans over here post music that basically relates to our situation on Instagram but the DMs is another slide away. I need him to understand that I am hurting just as bad or maybe even worse than he is because he actually has a way to cope with his inconveniences and I don't (not yet anyway). I really hope that this “us not speaking to each other” shit is temporary because this is ridiculous. Shit, I can't talk about his on Instagram when my ass is typing out my feelings on Tumblr where he can’t see. This man saved and changed my life in May 2018 but at this point will I be able to tell him that shit. Everything reminds me of him shit my wallpaper and computer screensaver is rotating pictures of me and him. Every time I sleep, I see myself laying on his chest just watching it go up and down with every breathe he takes or I see things that are a bit more rated M for mature to tell but yeah. I wanna find a rock and disappear under it for a few months because at this point what is like any more?

A fucking joke...

[unpromblematicpimpcess]

attempt at expressing my feelings #3

Wahhhhhh

Why the fuck are you not talking to me.😫😫😫😫😫

3 days is too long and I really need if you are ok. Like I really wanna pick your damn brain to see where your head is at. I don’t care how I’m doing until I know you are. I fucking miss yo ass and you probably don’t even notice. Come back and FUCKING LOVE ME NIGGA DAMN!!!

🥺🥺😭😭😭

[unpromblematicpimpcess]

attempt at expressing my feelings #2

I hope you never come across these post unless I send you the link. Or maybe I want you to find them. I mean I did make a separate account for a reason but at the same time, I did try to link the accounts. But that failed but we still gucci. I do miss yo ass but imma try and give you yo space for you to come back when you're ready. I really want to wait til after the retrograde before I talk to you again to decrease the risk of me saying anything like that ever again. I hope all is well for you and that you are writing and creating music. You have a story to tell the world one day and I want you to be ready. Me, I stressed the fuck out between school work, trying to transfer and all the paperwork, and still tryna remain sane at the same damn time (future voice).

[unpromblematicpimpcess]

attempt at expressing my feelings #1

We said that we would keep it friendly but I ain't really fucking with that. Nah I'd rather us be best friends in public and freaks in private (public too.) 

I just wanna be babygirl again is that too much to ask.