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hi. just a reminder

you’re not too much. not too broken. not too late.

you are allowed to be proud of your survival. you are allowed to rest. you are allowed to take up space.

you are already enough. you are already whole.

love, someone who gets it

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Hoping That "Day" Will Come Soon

Lately, everything just feels too much. It’s not one bad moment or a bad day ... it’s this constant storm I live in. The yelling, the tension, the manipulative guilt trips, the pressure to be someone I’m not just to keep things calm… it never ends. Living in this environment is like drowning slowly, and somehow, I’m expected to smile through it.

Most days I feel like I’m barely holding it together. Smiling when I want to cry, staying silent when I want to scream. I’ve become really good at pretending, pretending I’m okay, pretending the words don’t sting, pretending this is just “normal.” But deep down, it’s eating me alive.

I’m tired of lying. I’m tired of shrinking myself to avoid conflict. I’m tired of being told who I should be, what I should say, how I should feel. I just want to be me without the fear, without the pressure, without the guilt. I want to live in a space where I’m not bracing myself for the next explosion. I want to sleep in peace, not just in silence. I want a real home not just four walls I’m trapped inside.

Lately, I’ve been praying more. Not because I suddenly became more religious, but because there’s a part of me that still has a little hope left — that’s crying out for a way out. I’m asking God, honestly, desperately, to just give me one chance. One door. One break. One moment of freedom that I can use to start building a life that’s actually mine.

A life where I’m not defined by anyone else’s anger. Where I can be honest. Where I can laugh without guilt. Where I can exist without fear.

I know I’m not the only one who feels like this. And if you’re reading this and you relate even a little, just know: I see you. I understand. This kind of pain — it’s invisible, but it’s real. And if you’ve somehow made it out, I truly admire you. I hope one day, I’ll get to say the same.

But for now, I’m here — surviving, waiting, praying. Hoping that maybe tomorrow is the day something changes. That maybe soon, I’ll be free — not just from the place, but from the pain it built inside me.

Please, God… just one chance. That’s all I’m asking for.

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Hi!

first blog post.

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so many hobbies so little time