uselesscucumber

[uselesscucumber]

This legitimately needs to be in future literature textbooks to capture the Covid-19 Pandemic.

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GOD I just want to be CREATIVE but all my energy is being used to survive

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by far the funniest tiktok i’ve seen in a while

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Myslím, že by jsme měli mluvit o Ozzákovo kamarádovi, co chlastal tak moc, že zapomněl, že byl ženská

[uselesscucumber]

“It’s not that wet” 

(via)

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No joke this vine has a better understanding of transmisogyny than 40% of this website

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dni unless you have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, all the modern languages, all while possessing a certain something in your air and manner of walking, the tone of your voice, your address and expressions-

[uselesscucumber]

I think abt this tiktok all the time

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old gods are waking

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deeply obsessed with this

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bottom of the callsheet, top of our hearts

[uselesscucumber]

My 4 homophobic uncles when I show up to Easter dinner on shrooms

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i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

[uselesscucumber]

I don’t know who Temu thinks it is but if any ad immediately takes me to their website without me touching the screen, I’ll commit to never, ever downloading it

[uselesscucumber]

my day job is at a college, and this morning my boss was like "go collect all the suggestion slips from our suggestion boxes around the school and create a document and a spreadsheet outlining the needs of the student body."

Ok cool very easy! fun, even!

there were two. two suggestions.

"spring fling should be steampunk themed :3 I'd like to see more pipes and gears with no discernible function"

and

"free food. starbocks. privitized resturaunts."

I can't wait to turn in my 1/8th page report with "pipes and gears with no discernible function" and three out of five words misspelled on it. the students have spoken, boss; such are the needs of the student body.

[uselesscucumber]

I love the old timey phrase "you forget yourself". bro that was so impolite like do you even know who you are rn