v4mpm4gu5lair

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

if you lose your train of thought while talking to someone its because they reloaded the quicksave after killing you midsentence

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

if you use a table, i dont want to hear it, youre fucked, foul pervert, elevating objects to a higher plane is sick and disgusting, all material things should be on the ground, as far away from god as possible, filthy, i mean if you have to pick something up to move it, i can understand that, i can look the other way, but you own a table just so you can leaving soulless resources lying upon a raised surface.. the fuck is wrong with you?

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

"for you, i would" is such a gentle and sweet love language like no maybe i wouldn't usually do this but i would love to do it if it would make you happy.

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

Sorry I didn’t reply to your messages I was busy being that one homie that’s not gonna make it

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

don’t you just hate it when 🚙

um. sorry wait a minute [grabs mic]

can the owner of the blue honda civic move their car please. it’s blocking my post.

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

the tragedy of distance is simple I want to sit on the couch with you and do nothing sometimes

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

its hard work being the ontologically evil mutual but someone has to do it

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

just realised i’ve talked about going to the cinema alone a lot lately… feels like i am trying to save cinema one post at a time. maybe i am. book a ticket to the big screen. yeah sure go alone. it’s fun i promise

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

lovers end in the journeys meeting

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

se eu tivesse um bar eu ia chamar ele de joão sebastião bar

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

isolation the most goated coping mechanism i love talking to no one and losing my mind alone

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

me having a weird time: man this weird time sucks! i don't feel like myself! i wish i was having a normal time!

me having a normal time: well the weird time did have a certain je ne sais quoi...

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

my summer plans consist of unclenching my jaw + forgiving myself

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

[v4mpm4gu5lair]

you'll be hanging out with the sweetest person ever and they'll randomly tell you a childhood experience that would have vaporised you and you're like oh we should find your parents and murder them irl