vaguelyanonymous-blog

[vaguelyanonymous-blog]

N.F.: The Overview

Now there's not much to say about NF. Out of everyone I talked to, he was probably the horniest. However, he really was sweet though. And, it seemed like he really did care. But when I showed him the real me, he was back to the guy I thought him out to be -- the shallow kind. 

What do I mean by the shallow kind? the kind that only talks to pretty girls and despises 'ugly' ones. I don't know if it's right to call him out as shallow. I mean I was the one at fault and maybe he just lashed out but he was also putting up an act as I was. The only thing he didn't do was change his face and name. 

Although, I will commend him for being imaginative though. Everyday was a roleplay conversation with several scenes. And when he's not talking to me, he's helping out special children. Maybe he is a good guy and maybe he's not in some ways. He does stick up for his friends though and he's a lot sensitive. Maybe that's why he sorta lashed out at me when he found out I catfish'd him. 

Do I even have the right to be bitter about how the way things ended with this N? I don't even know what to say about him anymore since there's not a lot of things I remember. Maybe somewhere along the way, my brain decided to trash every good memory I had about him because of they way things ended. 

Oh well. 

Sincerely, 

Bitter Anon. 

[vaguelyanonymous-blog]

N.A.: The Overview

N.A. was definitely someone special. What he and I had was so much better than having a whole pint of Ben&Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough all to yourself.

At present, N and I aren’t speaking. He’d tried to contact me recently though but the messenger I used for this whole experiment was still under the fake account so I didn’t know he’d actually tried to contact me in my real one. I tried to reply and apologize for not being able to get back to him right away but he didn’t answer back. To this day, the reason behind why he wanted to talk all of a sudden still haunts me. I miss him a lot and I wish he knew that but it’s not as if he’d do anything about it.

But anyway, N was the one that gave me all the attention I needed. He was the one I stayed up for just so we could message each other endlessly. It didn’t matter what we were talking about and we never ever ran out of things to talk about. We just clicked. He even got me into football. Without him, I would probably still be that girl who was clueless about that sport. I watch every other sport except football because I just didn’t understand or pay much attention to it. I remember watching the Superbowl with him. It was one of the best memories ever.

Each new moment spent with him topped the last. It got better and better with each passing day. I could’ve gotten away with it. He never suspected anything — or at least he never showed me he did. But my conscience told me to stop. I can’t lead him on, thinking that I was someone I was not. And, I didn’t actually want him to love the fake me. I wanted him to love the real me.

When I revealed myself to him and ended it, he told me that he didn’t understand why I had to go through all this just for an ‘experiment’. He’d said that one way or another, some guy would fall in love with me like he had. He was very gentle about the whole reveal. He’d even wished me the best and was pretty bummed about everything. But he wasn’t mad at all. He was just really disappointed. And I hate myself everyday for making him go through all that.

One day, I hope we’d be able to talk again.

Love, Cupcake.

Disclaimer: The last two guys on the list were both Ns so to differentiate, I placed another letter after so readers (ha, like I have any) won’t get confused.

[vaguelyanonymous-blog]

J: The Overview

Where do I even start?

J was number 2. He was the only guy who talked to me endlessly on the phone. We never actually became a thing but it was hard not to fall for a guy like him. He was the perfect mash of sweet, caring and funny. He was charming and he was also pretty talented music-wise.

He was a sincere kind of guy but he was also pretty shady.

In some other life, he was probably the best friend I grew up with as a child. The one guy friend that acted like an overprotective brother who later would fall in love or friendzone you in the future. Either way, you’d be lucky to have him in your life because he seemed like the kind of guy that’d stick with you through thick and thin.

He was all that and more. But one thing that seemed to lead my charmed image of him astray is the fact that he was practical. He told me time and time again that he really liked me over the phone but he knew better than to just dive into a long-distance relationship. So he told me that if I’d lived closer, he’d never let me go. But he emphasized on those ifs and then left it at that.

I don’t really know how to feel about that sort of thing. It wasn’t like he rejected me but it was not a positive thing either.

Over the course of time we knew each other, heartache was the only thing I consummated from him. Tell you more in later blog posts but this is all for now.

Love, Your Best Friend.

[vaguelyanonymous-blog]

K: The Overview.

As I’d mentioned in the previous blog post, there were 4 guys locked under the SE. K, over here, was the first and the last one to get out of it. That’s right, I ended it with him finally today.

Anyway, K was handsome. He really was. At least to me. And he’s like the nicest guy ever which is probably why I chose not to reveal myself to him. We talked for like hours at a time and he’d usually fall asleep on me because he has to take these pills for a certain condition that he has and it always makes him a little loopy and sleepy. If I were really who I said I was to him, he’d probably be the one I would be willing to marry. And from that, I guess you could say that I really was head-over-heels in love with him.

Until now, I still can’t grasp the thought of actually having these kinds of feelings for him. They’re so strong and overwhelming and it’s funny because I haven’t even met him and I probably never will.

The details to this story will probably be posted in several chapters/blog posts. I just hope I get motivated to write about him and the other 3 so I can discover and figure things out for myself and eventually, move on.

Love,  Princess.

[vaguelyanonymous-blog]

Catfish.

So about a year ago, while I was on holiday from school, I decided to do something idiotic. Well, at first I didn't actually think that it would be that bonkers but I should've known better.

I decided to do a 'Social Experiment'.

Now, I am not going to give you guys the play-by-play on only one blog post. I think these guys deserve one blog post each. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to go about it exactly but hopefully, I'll find out soon enough. 

I really do hope that as you're reading this, you won't get all judge-y. I know what I did was irrational and stupid. I get it. I just want to voice out and get it all off my chest. 

Now going back to this so-called 'Social Experiment', I wanted to see if the things we know to be facts are indeed true. I wanted to see if a girl's looks are the thing that catches guys' attentions. (Spoiler Alert: It's true) But we all know as well as I do that I didn't have to go through all this just to prove facts.

The whole 'Social Experiment' agenda was nothing but a sugar-coat. I wish I hadn't done it and yet I can't seem to stop or cut the last thread loose so I can move on with my life. I don't know why I wanna see this thing through but I'm sure that the longer I keep going, the more hurt he's only going to be. But that's just one flaw I can't exactly counter. I'm indecisive and there's nothing I can do about it.  

So I'm ending this post short in hopes that I can come up with posts for each guy I'd been with. Not sure if I'd get any readers at all but I guess that really doesn't matter.

  Love, 

Anon. 

[vaguelyanonymous-blog]

The Introduction

I've never been one to really talk about my feelings. Normally I'd just keep them under lock and key. I don't even know why I started this blog but all I do know is that I want to share a few occurrences with whoever might stumble upon this thing I call a blog. I won't make any promises about shocking events or that sort of stuff because I don't exactly live on the wild side. I just want an outlet and since Tumblr is known to be one of those things, I guess I might as well take this opportunity and make Tumblr live up to that stereotype. 

So read at your own risk, you guys, as I bare my soul to the whole wide world. But of course it won't exactly be that embarrassing since you guys don't know who I am and I don't know who you guys are. I don't even know if anyone will decide to read this but it's whatever. 

Love, 

Anon.