Statistics
We looked inside some of the posts by valarhalla and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
115K
Likes Per Post
67K
Reblog Per Post
48K
Reply Per Post
30
Time Between Posts
15 hours
Number of Posts By Type
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17
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
In 2020, Tumblr had 29.4 million users in the US.
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It's on youtube!!
youtube
i need to watch that fast food macbeth movie so bad
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How the heck is Gilgamesh two thirds god and one third man anyway. That only makes sense if Gilgamesh is actually a honeybee with three great-grandparents because their ancestry is a fibonacci sequence.
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How the heck is Gilgamesh two thirds god and one third man anyway. That only makes sense if Gilgamesh is secretly a honeybee with three great-grandparents because their ancestry is a fibonacci sequence.
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Someone should really tell them about the ballet which ends with a prlonged homoerotic pas de deux and the creature basically making out with victor's corpse:
youtube
I’m losing my mind I just saw these tags on art from art of a canon scene between Victor and the Creation in the book Frankenstein
like I’m not even making fun of you buddy I have GREAT news for you—about the book at least
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Ea-Nasir Denies His Crimes in the Style of "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy (in Akkadian/Ancient Babylonian):
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Nanni īrub u lu’am īmuranni- Nanni came in and defiled he saw me,
Werâm uṣīd ina bēt ṭuppim- Melting copper in the tablet room,
Annûm amur; anaku erêku- Picture this, I was naked,
Maḫīr’ ēpuš ina bēt qātim- Doing trade in the closet.
Nadān šuāti naptâm ūtaššer, attadinši - The giving him a key I forgot about; I gifted her [the key],
Adi anāku ina Dilmun, naptâm ētezibšušši- While I was in Dilmun I bequeathed the key to him,
...
Ṭiṭṭū ana ubānī- The clay on my fingers,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Itamma īmurši- He swears he saw it,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Ṭuppū ana bēt maḫīrim- The tablets at the market,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Ḫālilum ana kārim- The spy by the harbor,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Werûm ša iṣṣūd- The copper that melted,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Siparrum ša izzūb- The bronze that dissolved,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Gubārū sarrūtim- The false ingots,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Šikarum lemnūtim- The unsatisfactory beer
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
...
Nanni īrub u lu’am īmuranni- Nanni came in and defiled he saw me,
Werâm uṣīd ina bēt ṭuppim- Melting copper in the tablet room,
Annûm amur; anaku erêku- Picture this, I was naked,
Maḫīr’ ēpuš ina bēt qātim- Doing trade in the closet.
Nadān šuāti naptâm ūtaššer, attadinši - The giving him a key I forgot about; I gifted her [the key],
Adi anāku ina Dilmun, naptâm ētezibšušši- While I was in Dilmun I bequeathed the key to him
...
Eleppum ēzibšu- The ship I left behind,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Našpārum eṣlāšu- The envoy I insulted,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Aššatum anīkši- The wife I fornicated with,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Rikbī ēzibšunūti- The crew I left behind,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Šūdadū pilpilânūtim!- The homosexual lovers,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Šunu karṣī zaprūtim- They are malicious lies,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Kamān qunnabim ēpi- The cannabis cakes I baked,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Nabalkattum edkēši- The mutiny I instigated,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
x
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Ea-Nasir Denies His Crimes in the Style of "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy (in Akkadian/Ancient Babylonian):
-
Nanni īrub u lu’am īmuranni- Nanni came in and defiled he saw me,
Werâm uṣīd ina bēt ṭuppim- Melting copper in the tablet room,
Annûm amur; anaku erêku- Picture this, I was naked,
Maḫīr’ ēpuš ina bēt qātim- Doing trade in the closet.
Nadān šuāti naptâm ūtaššer, attadinši - The giving him a key I forgot about; I gifted her [the key],
Adi anāku ina Dilmun, naptâm ētezibšušši- While I was in Dilmun I bequeathed the key to him,
...
Ṭiṭṭū ana ubānī- The clay on my fingers,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Itamma īmurši- He swears he saw it,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Ṭuppū ana bēt maḫīrim- The tablets at the market,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Ḫālilum ana kārim- The spy by the harbor,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Werûm ša iṣṣūd- The copper that melted,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Siparrum ša izzūb- The bronze that dissolved,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Gubārū sarrūtim- The false ingots,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Šikarum lemnūtim- The unsatisfactory beer
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
...
Nanni īrub u lu’am īmuranni- Nanni came in and defiled he saw me,
Werâm uṣīd ina bēt ṭuppim- Melting copper in the tablet room,
Annûm amur; anaku erêku- Picture this, I was naked,
Maḫīr’ ēpuš ina bēt qātim- Doing trade in the closet.
Nadān šuāti naptâm ūtaššer, attadinši - The giving him a key I forgot about; I gifted her [the key],
Adi anāku ina Dilmun, naptâm ētezibšušši- While I was in Dilmun I bequeathed the key to him
...
Eleppum ēzibšu- The ship I left behind,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Našpārum eṣlāšu- The envoy I insulted,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Aššatum anīkši- The wife I fornicated with,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Rikbī ēzibšunūti- The crew I left behind,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Šūdadū pilpilânūtim!- The homosexual lovers,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Šunu karṣī zaprūtim- They are malicious lies,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Kamān qunnabim ēpi- The cannabis cakes I baked,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Nabalkattum edkēši- The mutiny I instigated,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
x
38 notes
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Ea-Nasir Denies His Crimes in the Style of "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy (in Akkadian/Ancient Babylonian):
-
Nanni īrub u lu’am īmuranni- Nanni came in and defiled he saw me,
Werâm uṣīd ina bēt ṭuppim- Melting copper in the tablet room,
Annûm amur; anaku erêku- Picture this, I was naked,
Maḫīr’ ēpuš ina bēt qātim- Doing trade in the closet.
Nadān šuāti naptâm ūtaššer, attadinši - The giving him a key I forgot about; I gifted her [the key],
Adi anāku ina Dilmun, naptâm ētezibšušši- While I was in Dilmun I bequeathed the key to him,
...
Ṭiṭṭū ana ubānī- The clay on my fingers,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Itamma īmurši- He swears he saw it,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Ṭuppū ana bēt maḫīrim- The tablets at the market,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Ḫālilum ana kārim- The spy by the harbor,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Werûm ša iṣṣūd- The copper that melted,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Siparrum ša izzūb- The bronze that dissolved,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Gubārū sarrūtim- The false ingots,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Šikarum lemnūtim- The unsatisfactory beer
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
...
Nanni īrub u lu’am īmuranni- Nanni came in and defiled he saw me,
Werâm uṣīd ina bēt ṭuppim- Melting copper in the tablet room,
Annûm amur; anaku erêku- Picture this, I was naked,
Maḫīr’ ēpuš ina bēt qātim- Doing trade in the closet.
Nadān šuāti naptâm ūtaššer, attadinši - The giving him a key I forgot about; I gifted her [the key],
Adi anāku ina Dilmun, naptâm ētezibšušši- While I was in Dilmun I bequeathed the key to him
...
Eleppum ēzibšu- The ship I left behind,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Našpārum eṣlāšu- The envoy I insulted,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Aššatum anīkši- The wife I fornicated with,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Rikbī ēzibšunūti- The crew I left behind,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Šūdadū pilpilânūtim!- The homosexual lovers,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Šunu karṣī zaprūtim- They are malicious lies,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Kamān qunnabim ēpi- The cannabis cakes I baked,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Nabalkattum edkēši- The mutiny I instigated,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
x
38 notes
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Ea-Nasir Denies His Crimes in the Style of "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy (in Akkadian/Ancient Babylonian):
-
Nanni īrub u lu’am īmuranni- Nanni came in and defiled he saw me,
Werâm uṣīd ina bēt ṭuppim- Melting copper in the tablet room,
Annûm amur; anaku erêku- Picture this, I was naked,
Maḫīr’ ēpuš ina bēt qātim- Doing trade in the closet.
Nadān šuāti naptâm ūtaššer, attadinši - The giving him a key I forgot about; I gifted her [the key],
Adi anāku ina Dilmun, naptâm ētezibšušši- While I was in Dilmun I bequeathed the key to him,
...
Ṭiṭṭū ana ubānī- The clay on my fingers,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Itamma īmurši- He swears he saw it,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Ṭuppū ana bēt maḫīrim- The tablets at the market,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Ḫālilum ana kārim- The spy by the harbor,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Werûm ša iṣṣūd- The copper that melted,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Siparrum ša izzūb- The bronze that dissolved,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Gubārū sarrūtim- The false ingots,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Šikarum lemnūtim- The unsatisfactory beer
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
...
Nanni īrub u lu’am īmuranni- Nanni came in and defiled he saw me,
Werâm uṣīd ina bēt ṭuppim- Melting copper in the tablet room,
Annûm amur; anaku erêku- Picture this, I was naked,
Maḫīr’ ēpuš ina bēt qātim- Doing trade in the closet.
Nadān šuāti naptâm ūtaššer, attadinši - The giving him a key I forgot about; I gifted her [the key],
Adi anāku ina Dilmun, naptâm ētezibšušši- While I was in Dilmun I bequeathed the key to him
...
Eleppum ēzibšu- The ship I left behind,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Našpārum eṣlāšu- The envoy I insulted,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Aššatum anīkši- The wife I fornicated with,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Rikbī ēzibšunūti- The crew I left behind,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Šūdadū pilpilânūtim!- The homosexual lovers,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Šunu karṣī zaprūtim- They are malicious lies,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Kamān qunnabim ēpi- The cannabis cakes I baked,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
Nabalkattum edkēši- The mutiny I instigated,
Ula yâti- Wasn’t me!
x
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My homemade cards against humanity cards will never top this.
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My homemade cards against humanity cards will never top this.
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If you've ever wanted to read/sing along to The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald in Ancient Babylonian, look no further.
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If you've ever wanted to read/sing along to The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald in Ancient Babylonian, look no further.
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This gets even better when you learn that By Grapthar's Hammer You Shall Be Avenged was meant to be a placeholder line. They were actually going to replace Grabthar with something less comical-sounding, but changed their mind because crew members started wearing t-shirts of the phrase on set.
Galaxy Quest (1999) (✚)
#further cementing my belief that galaxy quest is to scifi what the princess bride is to fantasy#in many different ways#they're two halves of the same coin
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Ok this comment wins.
YMCA in Akkadian (Ancient Babylonian), as written by Gilgamesh's exasperated tourism minister trying to attract more gay guys to Uruk to keep Gil distracted from politics:
.
Eṭlū!- Young men!
Lā tuštamarraṣā- Do not, do not be troubled!
Aqabbi, eṭlū!- I said, young men!
Lā lā taṣallalā- Do not, do not lie down!
Aqabbi, eṭlū!- I said young men!
Šunu ina ālim- You are in a town,
Bēt bēt šikārim ḫanbā- Where taverns sprout luxuriously,
Eṭlū!- Young men!
Ina ālim alkā- Go to the city,
Aqabbi, eṭlū!- I said young men!
Bēt kaspī ul tīšâ- When you do not have money,
Annikīam tuššabā- Here you can dwell,
Bēt napṭirim nīšu- We have guest-houses,
Itti awīlī umtallâ- They are filled with men….
.
Taḫaddâ ina - You’ll have fun in
𒌋𒊏𒌋𒅗 U-RA-U-KA! - U-R-U-K!
Wašābum ṭāb ina - The living is good in,
𒌋𒊏𒌋𒅗 U-RA-U-KA!- U-R-U-K!
Ziquratum elâ! Purattum amrā!- Climb up the ziggurat! See the euphrates!
Šikārum ṭābum šitâ!- Drink fine beer!
Taḫaddâ ina - You’ll have fun in
𒌋𒊏𒌋𒅗 U-RA-U-KA! - U-R-U-K!
Wašābum ṭāb ina - The living is good in,
𒌋𒊏𒌋𒅗 U-RA-U-KA!- U-R-U-K!
Amuḫḫūni šaqû! Ziqnūni ītebbū! - Our walls are high! Our beards are shiny!
Nuppušātunu!- You are allowed to breathe [relax]
.
Eṭlū!- Young men!
Eṭlū šimeanni!- Young men listen to me!
Aqabbi, eṭlū! Agana šimeanni!- Young men! Come on, listen!
Aiālam terrišāšu- You desire assistance,
Shū ali īde- This I know for certain!
Šārqum wērum ul ninaddinkunūti- We will not sell you poor copper,
Eṭlū! Ālum ša Uruk bani- Young men! The city of Uruk is beautiful!
Aqabbi eṭlū! Bālātka tezzibši!- I said young man! Leave your pride behind!
Nušallakkunūti- We cause you to go,
Ina Uruk alkā!- Go to Uruk!
Ūmum anniam iseddūkunūti- Today they will help you…
.
Taḫaddâ ina - You’ll have fun in
𒌋𒊏𒌋𒅗 U-RA-U-KA! - U-R-U-K!
Wašābum ṭāb ina - The living is good in,
𒌋𒊏𒌋𒅗 U-RA-U-KA!- U-R-U-K!
Šarrum šitpiṣā! Ittmalûšu ṣālā! - Wrestle the king! Fight with him!
Ittīšu mekkê mēlilā!- Play ball with him!
Taḫaddâ ina - You’ll have fun in
𒌋𒊏𒌋𒅗 U-RA-U-KA! - U-R-U-K!
Wašābum ṭāb ina - The living is good in,
𒌋𒊏𒌋𒅗 U-RA-U-KA!- U-R-U-K!
Ziquratum elâ! Purattum amrā!- Climb up the ziggurat! See the euphrates!
Šikārum ṭābum šitâ!- Drink fine beer!
.
Eṭlū! Bilītkunu īde! - Young men! I know your burdens
Amtaraṣ! Ina šinigī- I was unwell, in my village,
Ātanaḫ! Erēšum ezzēr- I was tired, I hated plowing,
Awīlum ana yâšim iṭeḫḫe- A man to me approached,
Inūšu! Awātum awânim- Then! Words were said to me,
Šumašu, Sîn-lēqi-unninni- His name was Sîn-lēqi-unninni!
Ina Uruk alkā! Iqabbi ana yâšim- Go to Uruk! He told me,
Ina Uruk awīlī ūterrešū- In Uruk men are needed…
.
Taḫaddâ ina - You’ll have fun in
𒌋𒊏𒌋𒅗 U-RA-U-KA! - U-R-U-K!
Wašābum ṭāb ina - The living is good in,
𒌋𒊏𒌋𒅗 U-RA-U-KA!- U-R-U-K!
Ziquratum elâ! Purattum amrā!- Climb up the ziggurat! See the euphrates!
Šikārum ṭābum šitâ!- Drink fine beer!
.
Eṭlū!- Young men!
Addāniqa tallkānim- Please come
Aqabbi, eṭlū!- I said, young men!
Inam anniam ezêršu- I hate this job…
Aqabbi, eṭlū!- I said, young men!
Anāku ānḫāku - I’m so tired….
Bēt bēt šikārim ḫanbā- Where taverns sprout luxuriously,
Taḫaddâ ina - You’ll have fun in
𒌋𒊏𒌋𒅗 U-RA-U-KA! - U-R-U-K!
(Šarrum lillam ina - The king is an idiot in
𒌋𒊏𒌋𒅗 U-RA-U-KA!- U-R-U-K…)
Ao3 link
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