valkyrie-chemist

[valkyrie-chemist]

What's one fantasy species you'd love to get into your totally non-existent underground laboratory? For purposes.

HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT—

Um, a boggart

[valkyrie-chemist]

each drop would prove a crocodile

A character study ficlet for @valkyrie-chemist in honour of their first Purge ˖⁺‧₊˚✦ Prompt: alligator (or crocodile, in this case) tears

-----

Tom learns early that tears achieve nothing. While the other children at Wool’s might be able to garner useless sympathy with their weeping and whining, the matron and the other caretakers have no patience for anything of the like from Tom. That is proven conclusively the one time he tries it.

��You never cried as a babe, but you’ll cry over a serpent?” one of them scoffs when they realise what has brought him to tears. “What else could we expect from the Devil’s child?”

It’s true. Not that he’s a child of the Devil, though he’s heard that superstition often enough. Tom has never cried before. His watchful silence has always unsettled those around him. It’s difficult to summon the tears even for the snake, killed with sticks and malice by some of the older orphans, and the snake had provided him with the closest approximation of worthwhile conversation. Crying feels unnatural, like a joint bending in a manner it’s not meant to.

He doesn’t bother to repeat the experiment.

At Hogwarts, Tom cannot show an ounce of weakness lest he be swallowed up by the snake’s nest he now lives in. He supposes in this regard it’s beneficial that he has never relied on tears as a method of manipulation. Tears are weakness, shameful and jeered, or an overt display of emotions that is distasteful and uncouth for a Slytherin, and more specifically a Pureblood. 

No matter the slurs or spells thrown at him, no matter how many of his belongings are destroyed or times he’s excluded from his house’s hierarchy or petty ways they try to hurt him, Tom does not cry. He does not complain to anyone in a position of authority. His stoicism unnerves those who are intelligent enough to recognise it as a predator biding its time, waiting for the moment to strike. As well it should.

For all their delusions of blood purity and nobility, they snivel like the lowest orphan when he’s through with them.

—

Tears are no help to Harry. Dudley could cry over anything and it would instantly have Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon racing to his side to mollify him.

(And, more often than not, blame Harry as the cause of Dudley’s tantrum.)

When Harry cries, he is either ignored, shouted at for his crocodile tears and manipulative nature, or locked in the cupboard with no supper. He saves his tears for when he’s alone, and eventually they dry up. 

He feels a hollowness, a hard pit beneath his ribs, where he imagines the tears are calcifying inside him. But as long as they don’t escape from his eyes, as long as he can avoid drawing the ire of his relatives in this way, he can deal with it.

Hogwarts brings friends – Ron and Hermione, first and foremost. And Harry feels reasonably safe in thinking that, if he cried, they wouldn’t think (much) less of him. During the years they spend together at the school, both have cried in front of him.

(It makes him a little uncomfortable, possibly because it isn’t an emotional display he is allowed and he doesn’t know what to do. But it’s fine. It’s a good thing, he imagines.)

Harry doesn’t think he can cry now, though. Instead, the hollowness builds and builds, taking over his chest and stomach, until the pressure cracks him with the return of Voldemort. Then it all begins to escape in red hot rage, venting out through the fractures in his composure rather than his tear ducts. Everything feels so big, so out of control. But he doesn’t cry. Even when Sirius–

Even after the Ministry, Harry can’t cry.

It wouldn’t help, anyway.

—

When Harry collapses to the ground in the forest clearing, Voldemort wonders whether he would have cried in this moment, if he’d ever been given to it. He doubts anyone would believe the sincerity of his tears anymore than the caretakers at Wool’s had.

—

Hours later, watching the killing curse rebound towards Voldemort, whose eyes widen with fear and resignation, Harry feels a brief burning pressure behind his eyes. He doesn’t cry – what a silly time to, if ever there was one. But he thinks of the horcrux under the bench at the ghostly King’s Cross and wishes things could have been different. For both of them.

[valkyrie-chemist]

Eat Tin Foil To Improve Your Semen Retention Now!

Okay :)

omn crjskhk nomsdfhjk nom

[valkyrie-chemist]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle Characters: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle Additional Tags: Teacher-Student Relationship, Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor Tom Riddle, Manipulation, Oral Sex, i get to harass my friends and also write filthy smut, what more could i ask for, Smut, Mildly Dubious Consent, Masturbation Summary:

Harry decides to fake cry to get out of detention and Tom likes it too much or something

Prompt: Alligator tears

[valkyrie-chemist]

Scooby Doo AU, Velma!Harry & Ghost Tom

Fresh out the oven, not evenly baked, blame @aitafrog. Accompanying fic is also by Froggy: Jinkies, He’s Hot!

For @valkyrie-chemist (you know why)

[valkyrie-chemist]

Voldemort tended to push Harry a little too far - give the monster an inch and he’d take a mile - but that wasn’t anything new.

Harry never took a shove lying down and became reckless, heedless. Red touches yellow, kills a fellow, they say, but all Harry saw was a snake — and a snake is a snake is a snake.

Warning signs on his skin - in those eyes - or not, Harry was playing a game with a beast that bites and he had the anti-venom in the shape of a lightning bolt etched into his forehead.

[valkyrie-chemist]

putting in my will that i want my autopsy performed by the guy who's weirdest about the sexual connotations of surgery

[valkyrie-chemist]

"OK" SO IT SEEMS AS THOUGH MY GENETICALLY MODIFIED KILLER BEETLES HAVE ESCAPED. HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FUCKI🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲OH G🪲OD🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲 SHI🪲🪲T🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🧪AAAHHHHHHHHOOOHhh Hey. That One Learned thge basics of Chemistry . #Proud

[valkyrie-chemist]

sure why not

Reblog if it's ok for ppl to spam ur inbox with asks. A weird question? Go ahead! Ask game? Yep! A very personal question? OFC!

[valkyrie-chemist]

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

[valkyrie-chemist]

Help Wanted: Exquisite Tomarrymort Corpse – Team A Member

Are you an artist or writer with a deep, possibly unhinged, love for Tomarrymort? Do you have the ability to be available between September 29th - October 12th, or at the very least, the ability to pretend you have your life together for that specific timeframe? Do people describe you as a silly goose, and do you take that as the highest compliment?

If so, congratulations! You may be the perfect addition to Exquisite Tomarrymort Corpse: Team A

Job Responsibilities:

- Contribute to the ongoing madness of a collaborative Tomarrymort project (art or writing, we’re not picky—just talented) - Be available (or at least marginally responsive) from September 29th - October 12th - Bring maximum silliness while still producing actual work (a delicate balance) - Embrace the chaotic energy of group projects with too much creative potential and not enough self-control - Be willing to trust the process (even if the process makes zero sense)

Qualifications:

- Must be an artist or writer - Must enjoy Tomarrymort - Must possess silly goose energy, which can manifest in many ways: - Laughing at your own jokes - Sending unhinged horoscope memes at 2 AM - Making increasingly bad puns until someone logs off in protest

Benefits include but are not limited to:

The sheer thrill of seeing where this collaborative experiment takes us The mild terror of not knowing what the person before you did The eternal glory of being a part of something truly unhinged

Apply now! Or don’t. But if you don’t, just know that you’re missing out on the most unparalleled artistic/writing/social experiment of 2025

[valkyrie-chemist]

all the credit to the brilliant and beautiful @aitafrog and @known-concepts for the voldemort concept art!

[valkyrie-chemist]

crazy how most of us made friends on here because we were going insane about the same 2 freaks at the same time. like oh you’re up thinking about them too?

[valkyrie-chemist]

Can’t properly explain it, but “I like this character”, “I like how this character is written” and “I care about this character” are 3 very different things which may or may not overlap.

[valkyrie-chemist]

Feel free to print and distribute this image

[valkyrie-chemist]

wait wait wait mutuals rb this with a description of ur voice