valstime

[valstime]

Another AU where Luo Binghe decides to go pure demon emperor route and not join Huan Hua, only instead of arranged marriage alliance decides gonna just go for bridenapping/marriage hunt route. (He knows how protective Cang Qiong are of his Shizun (as they should be he's a danger/wife plot magnet) and he knows Yue Qingyuan will probably try and out bureaucracy him so instead just gonna steal his Shizun.

Shen Qingqiu freaking out because Luo Binghe keeps showing up on Qing Jing trying to kidnap/kill him, luckily he keeps managing to avoid him...barely. Luo Binghe seemed distracted first time, and that gave him enough time to plan all his contingencies, he's planned to escape every time so far. He's just hoping he can keep this up until mushroom bodies are ready.

Luo Binghe is beyond smitten first time he was distracted because Qing Jing peak Widow Shizun and sword mound and after that his Shizun keeps outsmarting and avoiding him. Only he sees this as a marriage hunt! and his Shziun is participating he's making Luo Binghe prove himself! Binghe is so happy.

He knows Shizun knows all about demon customs so his Shizun knows what he's doing.

The rest of the sect are freaking out! His disciple was a demon who is now a demon lord and is clearly courting him! They know demon customs and they're sure Shen Qingqiu must know to but doesn't seem to realize he's being courted!! the sect are just trying to figure out WTF is happening!? and does Shen Qingqiu actually know what's happening!?

Mobei Jun is sulking cause he tried marriage hunt but Shang Qinghua isn't participating he just cowers and isn't letting Mobei Jun chase him while Lou Binghe is gloating about how his Shizun manged to evade him all last night.

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Lan Qiren: Why are you still unmarried? Even your brother already has a partner, a rather poor one, but a partner nonetheless

Lan Xichen: Ah, I didn't want to say, but I've been seeing someone. Well, two someones. My sworn brothers...

Lan Qiren: ...

Lan Xichen: ...

Lan Qiren: Hmph! That better mean double the grandnieces and grandnephews!

Lan Xichen: Uncle!

[valstime]

Imagine having a crush (you just really wanna be near him cause he’s kind and nice and really pretty and brave and genuine and-) on your prince who is also a god and the two of you get trapped in a cave by these demons who feed off of lust. Well they clearly won’t give you any problem cause women just don’t have any appeal to you so that means you can focus on more important things, like protecting your prince and keeping watch. Then those flowers turn into the prince and OH, it seems you can get affected actually cause hey what the actual fuck. And then the flower sex demons see this and make fun of you for it. They make fun of you for it. You are Hua Cheng and you are like 14.

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Yes baby that's your man <3

First time hearing his name and he's already smitten. Meanwhile the heavenly court is paralyzed w fear

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love is warmth ❤️

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Not enough Liu Qingge tripping and falling into wife plots. Let’s melt his clothes at embarrassing times. Dunk him in truth potion lake. Give him magic hypothermia that can only be cured by sharing body heat and qi with the person you have feelings for (in the nude ofc). Make him a wet, wet cat of a man where every day is the hardest day of his life and the only thing that would make it better is being allowed to sleep on Shen Yuan’s warm, plush bosom.

[valstime]

Rereading tgcf is so fun wdym he was confronted by a major trauma in the first 5 chapters of the series

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Just had to get a longer look at Gege in his wedding dress <3

[valstime]

Oh Xie Lian my sweetie. Oh my boy

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There's the idea that Viktor would make sure his babies are fat, chubby, & healthy because of how he grew up in Zaun. What about his partner gaining some weight & getting softer post-canon? I think he'd ADORE it 😭

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Shang Qinghua, whispering: Bro, why have you been fidgeting throughout the Peak Lord meeting?

Shen Qingqiu, whispering back: I have news to share, but I don't know how to tell everyone

Shang Qinghua: Just tell me and we can brainstorm

Shen Qingqiu: Fine, you see *whispers directly into Shang Qinghua's ear*

Shang Qinghua, loudly: YOU'RE PREGNANT?!

The other Peak Lords: ...

Shen Qingqiu, sarcastically: Thanks Airplane, that's one way to tell them!

Shang Qinghua, not listening: I'm going to be an uncle!

[valstime]

Fellas just say you're gay for him and move on there are other people in line (Me and Hua Cheng)

[valstime]

physical therapy

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Thinking about Xie Lian's canonically small waist and broad shoulders a little too much in this Chili's

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Got banned from cang qiong mountain bc they told me to dig a hole at the disciple selection ceremony and I looked at the qing Jing peak lord and said "trust me, I've been thinking about hole this entire time" so yeah

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of course if bingqiu both got pregnant at the same time, the only way I can envision it happening is via mutual babytrapping. binghe finally convinces shen qingqiu to top him and then forgets to mention that he took a magic pregnancy pill beforehand. little does he know, the sex pollen flowers they encountered a week earlier that made them fuck like rabbits were actually fertility flowers, which shen qingqiu definitely knew but just. chose not to mention it. he was a little distracted, okay?! and sure, he could do something about it now, but!! that's binghe's baby!!! why would he abort binghe's baby????

they both dance around the subject for a while trying to figure out how to break the news to each other, only to be completely stunned to learn that they've BOTH been pregnant this whole time?? now they have to figure out if it counts as twins if they're born within a week of each other but technically did not share a womb

[valstime]

Obsessed with Xie Lan as a character. Like I know everyone reads these books for the romance but the individual character concepts are hilarious.

Xie Lan is a prince. He eats poison on the reg. He’s forever stuck looking like he’s nineteen. He’s the oldest guy in the communication array. He knows kung fu. He dressed in drag to catch a ghost on two separate unrelated occasions. He’s the world greatest detective. He’s kind. He was forced into a trolley problem and chose to pull the lever. His cooking is awful to the point it could kill a god. He’s kind. He tried to give CPR to a ghost. He’s the unluckiest man alive. He’s been kicked out of heaven multiple times. He’s kind. He caught a kid from certain death and everyone was pissed at him forever about it. He regrets nothing but coming back to heaven.