vampiretendencies

[vampiretendencies]

jj maybank, you deserved better.

[vampiretendencies]

obx4 spoilers ahead (where i’ve been)

well, the obx 4 ending has awoken me from my grave, as a lot of you may know i disappeared over a year ago and proceeded not to update you guys because everything i was going through. i had heard and saw rumors about this ending, but i truly never thought they’d do this to our beautiful boy. i know he said he got everything he wanted, but he’s never ever been at peace. i got attached to his character in april of 2020 when i was going through a harsh breakup and to say the least he healed me.

he brought the spark, now the spark of outer banks is gone to me. he was one of the original pogues, he brought so much light to my eyes when he appears on my screen for the first time. i wish i could go back to that day and experience it again. a lot of people may think this is dramatic, but he was my comfort, ive rewatched outerbanks countless times just for him alone.

i don’t know what to say or do, but i turned to here because i know no one will understand where i’m coming from except for all of you. i’m in utter shock and complete denial, and watching the show through again will always give me this gnawing reminder that he’s gone, and he’s not coming back.

also! the buried him ALONE in morocco, WHY WOULD U DO THAT. he should’ve been buried close to poguelandia or even next to his mother. his worst fear was being alone, and for the writers to do that is fucking beyond me. then to have rafe dig his grave, and the weren’t even close it doesn’t make sense. though i do still love rafe and have enjoyed watching his character development it’s just the truth

anyway, i’ll leave it at that because if i continue

an update on me

i’m now 21 years old, no longer 19, and i feel all of the growing pains.

when i left you guys at the time i was supposed to be starting college, i still have NOT started LMAO.

i am still not doing well mentally and this ending just did not help.

i am currently in a relationship, but idk how much longer HONESTLY.

where this account stands

i don’t have the heart to right now more than ever, i may come back around to it, but i have to get use to him being gone.

writing for him won’t be the same because the imagine of him passing will always be in the back of my head.

i’ll update further soon.

[vampiretendencies]

devastated.

[vampiretendencies]

hi my loves, i miss it here horribly. and i have this desperate need to write without life getting in way but that seems unavoidable. when i’m settled in my new school, whenever that may be i’ll be more consistent. i’m trying to fulfill the empty promises i’ve made you guys soon enough, i love you <3

[vampiretendencies]

Hi :)! In no way shape or form am I trying to invalidate your feelings but what do you mean when you say you’re shadow banned? Bc you get quite a few notes from what I’ve seen, do you mean like feedback and reblogs?

hi, my latest ones have not compared to the what they usually do, i don’t know for sure if i am or if my posts are working in the tags is what i mean. no feedback/reblogs contributes to being shadow banned, but idk if i am so i’m just testing things out to see if i potentially would be.

[vampiretendencies]

i’m still a bit scatter brained but i’m getting there, i want to post one of my works to determine wether or not i’m shadow banned just gotta get mentally first :)

[vampiretendencies]

can i ask what you mean by “shadowbanned”?? i think i understand but i’m quite sure.

thanks, love 💜

ofc i figured google could explain it better than me lol !

[vampiretendencies]

That’s so sad… I’ve been gone for a little and came back to this :(

I’m sorry you feel that way and I’m sure it’s frustrating. I can assure you that it’s not because nobody cares about your writing because you’re very talented and just one of your small blurbs make me happy for the whole day. It could possibly be because you’re shadow banned but I’m not sure, I just hope your break helps you! If it’s for now or for good, I hope things get better. Thank you for taking time off of your day to provide for your followers even when you felt down, actually ESPECIALLY when you felt down because I know that must’ve be difficult and yet you did it.. I’ll always be a follower of yours and will always wish you well even if that means you need to focus on yourself and stop writing for a bit or for good. Take care mya :))!!

i’m so glad i could contribute to just even an ounce of your happiness. & thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my works, and to appreciate them with the care that you do. it does not go unnoticed. to those that support me and to those that do not, ily regardless muah ! you take care as well love <3

[vampiretendencies]

Your fics are kinda like soul touching gut wrenching tear jerking got me squealing blushing crying throwing up screaming and got me loving and appreciating you as a person and a writer. I am so sorry I haven't been able to read your recent work but im looking forward to read AND re read every single fic of yours bcoz im in love with your work.

that’s ideally what i want when you read something of mine

no need to apologize love, just you saying this means the absolute world to make. thank you for all you do <3

[vampiretendencies]

Stop being an asshole. “no one is obligated to support her” let’s not forget she isn’t obligated to keep posting. We have the choice to support her and she has the choice to post so stop getting your panties in a twist and it’s weird how you’re most likely a follower too?leaving comments like that lmao it’s really really weird..

exactly what i wanted to say & these are my exact thoughts

we’ve gotta be on the same wave length anon 🤭

[vampiretendencies]

I don’t think deleting ur acct and all the hard work you’ve put into it is a good idea. ofc it’s your decision and all but some ppl really have shown love and appreciation by reblogging your stuff and it feels like the ppl who have tried are being “punished” for the ones that made your acct unenjoyable

i agree with you, looking back it, it would punish those that do truly enjoy it. this is just my safe place and it really upsets me to have it invaded by hate that isn’t welcome. none of you have to try, all of you are doing perfectly. i see it and i appreciate the support immensely <3

[vampiretendencies]

hi if you do delete could you warn us before so i can have my last read of everything 😭

absolutely, but i doubt that it may come to that. i hope to do things in a way that’s not so disappointing yk ?? i’ve had plenty to distract me and think about it and i wanna see my writing through. i hope that makes sense :)

[vampiretendencies]

hi! please don’t delete this account:,( i love coming back and reading your works again and again

i’m really sorry that you’re getting shadowbanned or that people on this site don’t know how to appreciate writers

ultimately though it’s your decision ofcourse and i hope you’re doing okay💌

it’s up in the air, but as time is dwindling down i am having more free time. so i am navigating how to approach it coming back to writing bc it’s what i enjoy.

to the ones that come back and read i don’t wanna imagine doing that to you, because the fact you love my silly little stories enough to come back for seconds makes me wanna give you hugs and pats on the head.

i appreciate you for understanding, and thank you for reading !!

[vampiretendencies]

it genuinely hurts my heart to hear people are using this anonymous feature to say mean things.

im so sorry you aren’t feeling the love and support for your writing as you used too. (unless you’re shadowbanned instead, which i’m still sorry for.)

you’re a wonderful writer and i always adore what you create.

take care of yourself on your hiatus , ill be awaiting your return whenever it may be :)

don’t be sorry my love, i love the support from the ones that give it. i never want to seem ungrateful bc i am over the moon with the admiration you guys give me. i hope you are taking care of yourself as well !

[vampiretendencies]

the attention to detail is absolutely remarkable :,) i had a smile on my face the entire time i read this, i adore this <3

JJ thinking about your future together - especially when he is drunk

he can handle his liquor to a certain extent, though when you’re near he loses half his brain.

so normal obsessive boyfriend jj times a thousand, because he sees double of you and that’s an epiphany all in one.

jj didn’t hone in on the future as of late, now it’s all ‘i want us to have two dogs when we get our own place’ and ‘when our kids this’ and ‘when our kids that’. truth be told, jj has a penciled in notebook in the drawer of his nightstand, labeled ‘if i’m lucky enough to keep her around’ and any minuscule detail you say pertaining to the future— he repeats it to himself until he’s alone and can get to that damn notebook.

from the paint that you mentioned you want on your ideal forever home, to the decorations he notices that you gravitate more towards.

he’s sat under a large unoccupied tree, the two of you escaping the boneyard party. especially upon the realization that he’s had one two many. but he’s got his girl cozied daintly between the comfort of his legs, arms meeting at the centre of your torso— so what more could he ask for ?

your head was on his broad chest, his chin fitting like a puzzle piece to your forehead. thumbs rubbing in circular motions at the skin of your torso for not only you but himself. it’s been silence for the past twenty minutes, yet neither of you seem to mind— it was the presence that mattered.

“when we get our own place…” he started, lips fumbling a bit as he licked them. you grinned knowing what was to come would be evident of his love for you. jj was referring to the home the two of you get after apartments, after rentals, the home the two of you will spend the rest of your life in making endless babies. “we will be married ideally right baby?”

“mhm.”

“s-so i was thinkin’— y’know how when we would do dishes or whatever we have to take our rings off yeah?”

“yes…” unsure of where he was going with it

“m’gonna put a little hook on one of the cabinets, so we can hang them there until we’re done. they’ll be together, and we won’t lose them … just like how i don’t lose my way when m’with you.”

you failed to comprehend how he aimlessly comes up with ways to make you become besotted with him. your heart seizes, fluttering tenfold. living inside his words, you forget to answer and when you don’t he overthinks it being the worse idea humanly possible.

“or maybe not, m’just spitballin’. if you don’t want that we’ll figure something else out, pretty girl.”

eyes averting to yours, you drown him in a kiss that says all that went unsaid.

[vampiretendencies]

in all honesty i am thinking of either deleting this account and starting fresh by creating a new one. or just deleting all together until i figure out wether or not i am shadowbanned :,)

[vampiretendencies]

— semi hiatus

don’t rly have the brain capacity to devote my time to this blog rn. i hate to do this again after i just came back from a break that i thought was going to be the ending of this account. but i just have a lot on my plate between switching colleges & ultimately mental health. i also have been getting absolutely no feedback, which makes me want to rip my hair out. i’ll be in and out to answer asks but overall i just need to figure myself out rn. if you were waiting on my return in posting fics, ik this is a let down + the fact that i have so many unanswered requests :( im so sorry, ily !