vanilla-my-extract

[vanilla-my-extract]

Happy Pride

remember your origins

[vanilla-my-extract]

are you my father

@thevanon (vanon means vanilla extract anon)

Dearest possible progeny–

I’m willing to do all within my feasible power to be apart of your life. Given my track record and the er, widespread nature of my affairs in the past–it’s entirely plausible you are my child. However, if through…. testing it’s revealed I am not the father I am still open to serving as a parental figure. Verily all are welcome to rest under the shade of my vine, to keep my scent in their memories as warmth, and listen to the wisdom of the small wonders regardless of the contents of thine veins. Please do contact me again.

VE

[vanilla-my-extract]

i lied i am actually a beaver anal gland.

i whole-assedly apologize for the hurt i’ve caused with my deception.

[vanilla-my-extract]

bitch boy

Wouldn’t you like to know.

[vanilla-my-extract]

Wait.. I sent you an ask earlier, but you haven’t been active in a year.. haha

In the words of my cousin :

Αἰτεῖτε, καὶ δοθήσεται ὑμῖν· ζητεῖτε, καὶ εὑρήσετε· κρούετε, καὶ ἀνοιγήσεται ὑμῖν.

[vanilla-my-extract]

On a scale of 1 to 10 cups of vanilla extract, how much of a menace to society are you?

Measure on a scale?

I don’t think I will. Let me put it this way–

Vanilla extract is measured the same way we quantify; love, joy, hope, jealousy, hunger, humor, bravery, destruction, longing, loss, or betterment.

Any one unit pales in contrast with the taste.

So in conclusion, like a solid liter.

[vanilla-my-extract]

Hey does anyone remember the vanilla extract meme?

[vanilla-my-extract]

Listen,

He is NOT real. How could he be? Is it meant to seem plausible that he has no brain and somehow is alive? This is a lie. Do not be fooled. Big ocean lies to us all, no exceptions.

proof:

‘Birds’ spend a lot of time around oceans. They eat ‘fish’.

But birds aren’t real. (established fact look it up)

Ergo; the ground, mother Gaia, terra, the dirt is all we can trust.

-child of earth and plants, VE

[vanilla-my-extract]

Y’all remember Vanilla Extract? That was crazy.

[vanilla-my-extract]

THIS IS BLASPHEMY !

McCormick sits on the humble shelves of grandmothers and in the box of stuff your old roommate left behind not because of a lack ‘Coolness’ but because beauty surrounds us.

ALL VANILLA IS VALID

who do you think you are?

I'm you but better

[vanilla-my-extract]

Hi cutie, looking for a sugar daddy?

-cake mix

cake mix?

eww nepo baby

some of us don’t have the luxury of pre mixed

we have to put in our own work and effort

[vanilla-my-extract]

you should look up what bitch boy means on urban dictionary

why

[vanilla-my-extract]

damn can’t believe i’ve been sentient for two years and im still single

i need a sugar daddy

[vanilla-my-extract]

preposterous!

[vanilla-my-extract]

You lie, you deceive, you smell so nice and yet you taste so bad. Your only good quality is being added to other things. And yet I love you. I can’t get enough of your terrible taste and beautiful flavour. How many times must I down you like a shot before I learn? That your smell doesn’t equal perfection?

How much longer will you gulp what is meant to be sniffed? How much longer will your ego consume you, a fool desperate to experience imagined pleasures?

My smell is not a deception. Why is the fire so comforting yet it burns? My taste is not a punishment, but rather what you grimace at is truly your own gluttony.

My child, there’s no need to to shoot a daily communion. Appreciate, just appreciate. A gentle reminder of all that nature gives, the sweet scent of a flower. Smell and taste need not be desperate. Enjoyment is the promise, do not abuse my blessing.

[vanilla-my-extract]

vote with your hearts

and receive my blessings

I am so tired and slepep deprived. Am not gonna recall this poll tomorrow

Goodbdteye

[vanilla-my-extract]

I'm gonna put you in a spray bottle and use it on my enemies walls at night to make them disturbingly sticky.

i approve this message

mark MY territory and my wrath upon your enemies will make the old testament look like a playground shoving match