vegantoadsoup

[vegantoadsoup]

in case you were wondering if anyone will remember your random acts of kindness:

when i was in kindergarten, i met a boy named jordan. i don’t remember meeting him. i remember knowing him when, one day before dismissal, he came up and asked if he could be my friend. i was a painfully shy kid, and he was friendly and fun and talked a lot, so i said yes. we were the kind of friends that kindergarteners are: buddies during snack time, sharing the best crayons when we colored, and never even thinking that it could go outside of the walls of our school. it was fine. it was great. i had a friend. he’s the first friend i ever made on my own. he’s the first person who made me realise that i could.

my next clear memory of jordan comes when i was in fourth grade. in the morning, i was talking to kristen, who was one of my only friends at that point. she was looking forward to gym, because it was dodgeball day. i was not; i was always picked last in gym class, no matter who the team captains were. you don’t pick the slow-moving kid with glasses if you want to win, and grade-schoolers can be cruel. jordan heard, though; i remember that, because i remember him looking at me as i pointed out how much i wasn’t looking forward to gym, and i remember my cheeks burning because this popular kid heard about my problems.

we had lunch, and math, and finally gym to round out the day. gym, and dodgeball, and riley being one captain, and jordan being the other. and jordan, who won the coin toss, who got his pick of any kid in our class, picking me first. he didn’t even hesitate. he called my name, he pointed to me, and he smiled at me when i walked up to stand next to him. when riley laughed and picked derek for his team and taunted jordan about how he was going to lose, jordan laughed right back and told him that with me on his team, he was definitely going to win. (i don’t remember if we won or not. we probably didn’t. all i remember is not hating dodgeball for one day, and that was enough.)

fast-forward another few years, to another gym class in another school. we were doing baseball, which was my own personal hell in seventh grade. my eyesight hadn’t gotten any better, and i was too tall, too skinny, too out of touch with how to move my limbs to possibly make the bat and the ball connect. rules were rules, though, and no matter how far back in the batting line i stood, nobody was allowed to go back in the building until everyone had a chance. i made myself last every chance i could, because by that point anyone who was interested in the sport had gotten their fill and wandered away, and it didn’t matter that i stuck my elbows out and hunched over the plate and swung and swung and swung at balls that kept whizzing by me and smacking into the fence.

this day, though, this day was the worst day, because i had to be in the middle of the lineup. i don’t remember why; i only remember the sick feeling in my stomach, the feeling that the class would laugh at me as i stood there praying i didn’t move the wrong way and get hit with the ball. when i got up to home plate, i grabbed the bat and stood there and stared at the pitching mound, and jordan smiled back at me. i was clearly nervous; it was no secret that i hated gym, wasn’t any good at it. there were two kids on bases in the field, and someone in the back made a comment about striking me out; one of the kids on base groaned about how he was just going to steal home. jordan kept smiling as he walked off the mound, came up next to me, and quietly asked if he could show me how to hold the bat, how to stand. he demonstrated how to swing, and told me to just try to hit it gently. “just like this,” he said, and held the bat out in front of himself. bunting. i knew the name, even if i’d never been able to pull it off before. “hold it there. you’ll hit the ball.”

i nodded. i didn’t care. i wanted it to be over with.

he walked back to the mound, looked back and me, and then took a few steps forward. “just like i said,” he told me, and i nodded again. he tossed the ball very gently, and i held the bat out, and miracle of miracles, i bunted the ball. “run, run,” he yelled, making a ridiculous dive for the ball, kicking it out of the way of any of the outfielders who were catching on and heading for it. “first base!”

i ran. i made it to first base. i laughed, because i had never been able to do that before, and jordan turned and smiled at me before returning to the mound and striking out the next three people at bat, one right after the other.

now consider this: i met jordan almost twenty-five years ago. i remember these things, these small kindnesses, the things he didn’t have to do but did anyway. he probably doesn’t remember doing any of them. he probably doesn’t even remember me, at this point, and that’s fine. i remember his kindness when there wasn’t a ton to be had, and i remember him smiling when everyone else was laughing at me.

kindness matters. thanks for being kind, jordan. and to everyone else who has been kind, to me or to someone else: thank you, too. your kindness is noted, is appreciated, is remembered.

[vegantoadsoup]

[vegantoadsoup]

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

[vegantoadsoup]

I need to get this off my chest before I go INSANE.

"You are not immune to propaganda"

This is the main thought I have when people are talking about Effie.

Effie is a clear example of that and people are kinda missing the point.

Suzanne take time to establish that not all Capitol citizens are pure evil, even if they're not rebels. We see it in Katniss' stylists, the girl in the lemon coat, countless kids that died in that bombing, people who died at the hands of both Peacekeepers and rebels alike.

We see it in Effie.

Over the course of the series, Katniss learns that capitol citizens are humans, ones that were put under years upon years of propaganda, with no knowledge on how to behave differently.

The whole message of the series is "remember who the real enemy is". It's the higher powers oppressing people, not common people living privileged life. That is why Katniss shoots Coin, that is why Games, of any kind, had to stop.

Some people focus too much on Effie being typical capitolite, and miss the crucial element of what she is representing. She is a picture of a person who lived their whole life under propaganda and could only break away from it when faced with real facts that contradicted it. Katniss and Peeta being reaped again, shattered Effie's view on Games, making her see through the propaganda.

It doesn't make Effie evil to change only after that.

Sotr also established that Trinkets are an ostracized family, one that is least likely to rebel since they'd be the first ones to go. They need to keep being in the system to survive, they need to comply or they die.

The difference between propaganda in Captiol and Districts is simple.

Districts are confronted with harsh reality daily, Capitol isn't.

That's why propaganda in the Capitol is more effective and why it's harder to break away from it. We cannot judge those characters as if they have access to all the information we have, since it's simply not true.

Effie is a woman in a situation where it's hard to break from the hold of Capitol, from the information that's being fed to her, you have to remember that.

[vegantoadsoup]

the generational curse the hanging tree song put on the chance family needs to be studied because what do you mean THE hanging tree guy's name was arlo chance and the boy who ran on reaping day was woodbine chance what

and while we're on the subject, THE hanging tree song guy's love who he told to run so they'd both be free was a girl named lil with a brother named spruce who was involved with D12's underground rebellion. and what is a spruce? a tree. not just any tree, no, a fuckin evergreen tree. so while im beating my head against this wall im going to assume lil is short for lily. lily and spruce everdeen

are we deadass right now

[vegantoadsoup]

[vegantoadsoup]

everyday i see something on this god forsaken website and wish to the heavens and the deep under dark that i could be that funny. i am usually ignored by both the latter and the former.

[vegantoadsoup]

Everyone say thank you american indigenous people for cultivating corn, potatoes, peppers, tomatoes, cacao, pumpkin, squash, and anything i missed. Makes life more meaningful globally

[vegantoadsoup]

imagine being haymitch though. imagine being in 13, forced sober for the first time in years, and suddenly, you’re getting your boy back. the one you were so sure snow had stolen from you, like he’d stolen everyone else you’d ever loved. but somehow, by some miracle, your kid is here and he’s breathing and in one piece. imagine how excited you’d be.

imagine how excited you’d be for your (little) girl, your sweetheart of new, who’s about to get her love back. who’s about to experience that same joy you felt for those five minutes you had lenore dove in your arms, before the gumdrops and the poison and everything else came crashing down. only katniss’ joy isn’t going to be for five minutes.

imagine watching as your golden boy runs towards your sweetheart and you’re watching as her arms are outstretched, reaching for him like it appears he’s reaching for her.

now imagine how it must have felt for haymitch to realize the boy’s hands are locking around your girl’s neck and he’s not peeta anymore and this hijacked boy, this lou lou peeta is now strangling katniss. and you’re frozen in place.

just like you were frozen in place decades ago, when the peacekeepers were manhandling lenore dove. you have no choice but to hesitate because you’ve hesitated all your life, and that’s what you do, and once again it almost cost you everything.

once again, hesitating almost cost you your entire family.

no wonder haymitch is so angry all the time.

[vegantoadsoup]

[vegantoadsoup]

sometimes customer service is terrible, but sometimes a regular calls you sweetheart and asks you about your day. sometimes a girl says she loves your earrings and you get to tell her that they match your shoes. sometimes someone compliments your hair and it brightens your whole day. sometimes someone so earnestly says that you are amazing and your help was appreciated. sometimes a mom and her kids make you smile because they’re buying the same toys you used to as a child. sometimes i get to walk around with a glowing ball of joy in my heart because sometimes it’s the little things that matter and sometimes those things are what reminds you how to be alive.

[vegantoadsoup]

i recently finished attack on titan and it was absolutely phenomenal. however, now that i can dip my toes into the fandom i’ve noticed the INSANE amount of hate for gabi.

this is merely my opinion but firstly, i think she was an incredibly well written character and her development was really interesting to watch.

secondly, gabi was just a kid and she was just doing everything she was taught to do from a very young age.

thirdly, i believe sasha would have forgiven her without a second thought.

[vegantoadsoup]

Katniss's Narration vs Haymitch's Narration

[vegantoadsoup]

I think about this dialogue from S1 all the time; to me, it succinctly sums up the differences between Erwin and Levi’s perspectives and motivations.

When it comes to Erwin, it’s much like what Armin said in S1: the people who are capable of making change have to be able to throw everything away and abandon their personal humanity in order to save the greater humanity. Erwin embodies this perfectly—he never hesitated to sacrifice the lives of others on behalf of a greater cause, and even knew how to inspire them into willingly self-sacrificing.

What was that greater cause? For Erwin, it was his dream of finding out the truth and avenging his father—it just so happened that this aligned with what was best for Paradis. If it weren’t for his own personal ambitions, I don’t believe Erwin would have had the same level of commitment or drive.

Erwin knew that all of the deaths of his soldiers and the civilians caught in the crossfire were potentially pointless (and we eventually see that catch up to him right before his death); but at the same time, he knew each death and sacrifice was a necessary step in uncovering the truth.

That’s not to say he saw no value in human life or that he was an evil person—it’s just that he saw more value in the bigger picture and the greater cause, and he didn’t have time to consider his personal humanity in that pursuit. Erwin knew that he needed people like Levi and Hange to stay alive in order to achieve this bigger picture goal since they filled in the gaps of skills he lacked himself.

This also isn’t to say Erwin is purely selfish, nor is he the only one with personal motivations—Eren was motivated by his mother’s death, Mikasa was motivated by protecting Eren, Hange was motivated by learning about Titans. The list goes on.

Levi is uniquely one of the few characters without selfish motivations and dreams (which is ironic since people view him as cold and heartless). Levi had no ulterior motives pushing him to the other side of the war, and nothing personal to gain.

He chose to follow Erwin because of that look Erwin had in his eye—the same look Armin had in his eye—hope for the future, like he could see something no one else could. Levi, simply, didn’t want to make choices he would regret, even though he openly admitted that he never truly knew or understood what the outcome of those choices would be. He believed that following Erwin’s command—and eventually choosing Armin—was the best way to do this.

Levi doesn’t view the lives of his comrades or squad members as disposable. He has a fiercely protective and loyal nature. We see this time and time again—when he adamantly tells a dying soldier that his death wasn’t in vain and that he’d made a difference, how he doesn’t ever truly forgive Annie and Reiner for the lives they took from the Scouts, and his incessant need to avenge Erwin’s death, to name a few.

To me, Erwin and Levi are somewhat of a yin and yang in this way—Erwin was willing to do everything it took to achieve his dream, no matter the sacrifice, and Levi was willing to do everything it took to make sure those sacrifices weren’t made for nothing.

Erwin had to be willing to send people to their pointless deaths; Levi had to make sure those deaths weren’t pointless in the end.

This is a little bit of a half-baked ramble, but I always found this exchange so interesting and telling.

[vegantoadsoup]

anyone else thinking about effie spending 24 years watching haymitch completely fall apart. effie, who met haymitch by accident, who knows exactly what kind of person he is, who sees him every year on his birthday for 24 years and each year he’s drunker, each year he’s angrier, each year he’s faster to give up. and then they get katniss and peeta. peeta, who is kind and open and understanding, who refuses to give up on haymitch. and katniss, who is so much like haymitch at 16 that it hurts. and over the few days they’re together, effie watches haymitch come back to life. watches him try. watches him have hope. and then they get to keep not one but both of those kids. they get to come home. and then, less then a year later, effie pulls haymitch’s name at the reaping.

[vegantoadsoup]

haymitch "no grave can hold my body down / i'll crawl home to her" abernathy

[vegantoadsoup]

i think the parallel between haymitch and katniss that hit me the hardest was how badly they both wanted to protect everyone. their first instinct was always to care for those who needed it.