venushorned

[venushorned]

What drew you to my blog initially, and what, so far, has made you stay?

Is it the mun’s muses, their writing style, their worldbuilding? Is it the mun themselves? All of the above? Let ‘em know!

[venushorned]

baby girl, you do not look like you belong in the woods. you do kinda look like you have seen the horrors of the universe, though.

[venushorned]

<- is going to poison Vhaal's supper. Just enough for a really annoying tummyache.

[venushorned]

@fiendishfinesse said: Well, my stars and garters, a visitor. Such a surprise.

When she visits the Devil’s Den, she goes alone.

          It is… a bad choice. Gossamer knows this. She also knows that bad is arbitrary, because it is not the wrong choice. The distinction matters quite a lot to her. Whether or not the others will agree with her later, when they inevitably discover what she is about to do, remains to be seen. Her hopes are not especially high.

          After all, she has done this before. This time is very different, but it also isn’t. It’s funny, but not in a way that makes her laugh. Standing at the door, studying the iron relief of a fiend and mortal locked together in a sordid embrace, she thinks she might scream. She thinks she might go on screaming until her throat turns raw and her mouth tastes like blood. She thinks the sound might carry all the way to Calimport. 

          Instead, she knocks and does not wait for a response before pushing through the door.

          “Well, my stars and garters, a visitor. Such a surprise.” 

          The sound of Raphael’s voice does anything but prompt a smile, but Gossamer is practiced; she does it anyway, all bright and sharp-edged. The room is quaint enough, she supposes, for a lower city festhall, but Sharress’ Caress is no House of Purple Silks. Not that she takes her culls in pleasure palaces these days, Waterdhevian or otherwise. 

          “Hello, Raphael.” Her voice is a pleasant chirp, but the curve of her lips is anything but inviting. “We’re long overdue for a little one-on-one, don’t you think?”

[venushorned]

Drunken Fist 🍺🤛🏻💪🏻

[venushorned]

atavists.

dialogue prompts from atavists: stories by lydia millet.

revulsion is a stimulant.

the fictional is getting inseparable from the real.

you used to be so cool. what happened to you?

this is officially too much for me to deal with at the dinner table.

you need to check your privilege, big time.

it was like a compulsion. to be hateful.

my mom is terrified of you.

i don't do cosplay. it's live-action roleplay.

i thought roleplay was, like, a sex deal.

i made a major tactical error.

let it go, killjoy.

i am weary, but wise from my travels.

conspiracy theories are not created equal.

old people are depressing.

you do realize that jobs are work, right?

there should be noisy hours and quiet ones.

i just can't handle any more rules.

there isn't civic duty anymore. there isn't decency.

can you spell it for me? i'm such a terrible speller.

aesthetics are politics, after all.

i have to hand it to you: you're a schemer.

people get fired for less.

you know the cops won't do shit.

i like you. you have attitude.

i don't remember it, except for how it felt.

i am not a snitch.

you're the rebel. i was a mathlete.

when you see muddy waters, don't wade in.

are you a gemini?

i don't want what i used to want. i barely know how to want, anymore.

what i want is for the world to stay, but it's going away.

we're always looking for beauty, when we look at other people.

write it down. it could be useful.

people should be allowed to have their secrets.

don't make me get serious.

i want to see you in your element.

i don't want you to be sad. you don't need to be.

i don't shit where i eat.

i'm chaotic neutral. what did you expect?

a normal family? i'd like to meet one of those.

you can give as good as you get.

wine is the way to my heart.

something's happened. i'm going to have to eat shit.

you're really leaving?

holy shit. do i have dirt for you.

what's the evolutionary advantage of submitting to your own death?

therapy takes time.

i'm not sure how to help you.

i had the dream, but then i woke up.

i don't like to pee behind bushes.

i'm not always on top of the niceties.

i'm more interested in _____ than people.

take all the time you need. there's no hurry.

sometimes things just hit us when it's not convenient.

what are we going to do with all this space?

this place was beautiful once, before we got here and ruined it.

am i the only one who isn't a depressive?

[venushorned]

There was some surprise and confusion at the table when Gossamer sold her soul to save her mother from Lolth. One player, in particular, was really resistant to the nuance in their mother-daughter dynamic, in large part because they made some incorrect assumptions about Goss based on some early scenes and a general lack of understanding of drow culture (chronic disease, I know). In their head, Gossamer's story was one of escaping abuse and completely severing ties with your abuser, and their character approached her with the same assumptions. The reality was so much more complicated.

Gossamer's upbringing makes people uncomfortable, reasonably so! She was raised in a brothel and started schooling in her social graces and artistic crafts young; she always knew what the ultimate goal was. It was never a secret. Her older sisters worked in the house, too, and they were models of what she could expect—but the difference was that Silk and Satin were the Madame's blood daughters, and they were drow women. There were expectations and pressures on them that Gossamer didn't experience; she was, essentially, a beloved pet in her own home.

Beloved pets still get housebroken. Menzoberranzan was a dangerous city for anyone, and Gossamer was a non-drow child in affluent spaces. It was genuinely imperative that she know when to be on her best behavior, and what that looked like, and Velvet was not above occasionally relying on enchantment spells to ensure her charge would mind her manners. She put Gossamer through the exact same rituals of violence all drow mothers put their daughters through to guarantee their ability to survive.

Unfortunately for Gossamer, sometimes her Mother Gothel really did know best. That doesn't really make it okay, and Gossamer knows that; it's why she ran away. But a huge part of her adventure was coming to terms with the dual reality of my upbringing was harmful vs. my mother was doing the best she knew how to do for me under bad circumstances, and it wasn't all good. She got to learn that forgiveness isn't an all-or-nothing game, and that the most amazing thing about it is the freedom of choice. She got to decide what to forgive, or if she could at all.

And she did forgive Velvet. When everything was truly on the line, she bargained her soul to force Graz'zt into conflict with Lolth, saved her mother in the process, and then turned around and went double-or-nothing to get her soul back. She did the impossible to give her family a second chance at living a better way, and she was rewarded for it, and she's just so special to me!

[venushorned]

[venushorned]

Okay, fine. This sucks.

Gossamer is dominant by training but not necessarily by natural inclination. She was raised in Menzoberranzan to serve as a courtesan to affluent and powerful drow, predominantly women. She learned the art of soft domination—to be a caretaker and a comfort. She always appears in control, even when she isn’t.

Genuine submission is emotional surrender as much as it is physical, and it requires vulnerability and trust, which she is not going to give readily. She wants this intensely but burned herself quite badly with Graz'zt, and now recoils at the notion.

Sex is theatre and performance. Gossamer curates scenes because she is a professional. Luxurious textures, fine perfumes, ambient music, soft lighting—every sense is something that can be manipulated for a heightened experience.

She loves restraining her partner. Watching a lover fight and writhe under her attentions, or strain to get to her when she is being a vicious tease, feeds the ego.

Also, she is a vicious tease. She knows how people look at and respond to her. It's her prerogative to have fun with it.

Gossamer has very nice lips, and she knows what she's doing with them. Biting, licking, sucking, kissing—any and all such nonsense is her, having a good time showing off. She is enthusiastic about and skilled with oral. Her gag reflex is long gone.

The one thing she goes truly mad about is tasting herself on a lover's fingers. This is the secret button that unravels her.

Excellent strap game. No further notes.

In most sexual encounters, she is responsive, adaptive, and accommodating. Her own desires are generally not the point, as she is most often providing a service. She is rarely truly present emotionally.

THE ANHEDONIA CURSE

Since the end of her affair with Graz’zt, Gossamer has been unable to... experience the full scope of her sexual pleasure, let's say. She can perform sex flawlessly, but none of it, even with lovers she might choose instead of culls she services, really touches her. Everything is mechanical and dulled. She remembers what pleasure felt like, especially with him—which makes the absence more agonizing and creates a vicious cycle of chasing a feeling she can no longer reach.

There are exceptions to the curse, made when someone is particularly awful for her. Graz'zt likes to keep her running after things that she really ought to be running away from.

This would fade, over time, if she would simply ditch the perfume bottle flask. She has convinced herself that she doesn't know this.

[venushorned]

The more I chew on it, the more pleased I am with the narrative design of Gossamer's act 2 and 3 companion quests being tied to Mol and Raphael.

I still need to flesh this out much more, but the general idea:

Act 1 is mostly about uncovering just who, exactly, she is. The tone is flirtatious but shallow; she’s all wit, banter, and deflection. She’s drinking heavily, annoyed at being dragged back into adventuring, and very invested in keeping things light. It isn't until meeting Blurg and Omeluum that her involvement in the Rage of Demons is revealed, and she does not talk about Graz'zt yet.

The heavier moral stakes of Act 2—and her personal triggers—make it harder for her to keep up the act. Her quest's proper inciting incident is the Mol and Raphael scene at Last Light; she is clearly bothered by this more than anyone else, and when pushed, finally cracks about her history with Graz'zt. It's too late for her to do anything about Wyll, but she can do something about Mol.

She bargains with Raphael, and her contract includes an ironclad "never so much as allow Mol's name to cross your mind again or else" clause. He can have just about whatever he wants from her as long as the kid is secured.

(Thisobald Thorm drinking himself to death is her second breaking point. Her relationship with the flask grows increasingly tense and turbulent. She is struggling to hold herself together in the Shadowcursed Lands.)

Now we are properly back to her old playbook. She knows she can make a deal, bide her time, find the loophole, and wriggle out again. She’s desperate enough to deal with a fiend, and she’ll take on the chain herself because she knows she can chew through it later. But the real problem, the thing she has not yet admitted to herself, is that she’s never actually been free of Graz’zt. Because she won’t let go of the flask.

Which begs the question of how, exactly, she plans to free herself from Raphael.

By the start of Act 3, Raph probably knows what the flask is and who gave it to her, if he didn't already. He gets to spend some time snidely taunting her about repeating old patterns and the like. And then, in the House of Hope, Graz'zt's influence comes alive again. He isn't there, but she feels him watching for the first time in a long time.

Act 3 can then proceed in a few different ways, I think:

Best End: The party kills Raphael, nullifying Gossamer's contract. She destroys the flask following the confrontation in the House of Hope. In time, the anhedonia curse fades.

Nothing Really Changed End: The party kills Raphael, nullifying Gossamer's contract. She does not find it in herself to destroy the flask and remains tethered to Graz'zt. The anhedonia curse persists.

Bad End: The party fails to kill Raphael, and Gossamer is lost again to the bullshit of devils and demons. This time, presumably for good. She disappears after game events.

[venushorned]

are they, you know [mimes stabbing motion]

out of the abyss is a super fun read!! anon if you’re out there…know that you have great tastes in shady grandpas

[venushorned]

i don't actually talk often enough about jimjar. the "satellite" members of the saints are mostly made up of the other folks we busted out of the drow outpost slave pens at the start of the adventure, him included. he was with us for the first... three-ish in-game months, i'd estimate. he left us for good when we traveled through blingdenstone; we managed to lift his exile, so he stayed. and opened a casino. and frequently got into trouble and needed to be violently bailed out.

gossamer liked him because he made her laugh, and the little fucker was just fun. he was always up for a gamble and somehow always had the gold to back it up, even when he absolutely should not have. gossamer drove herself mad trying to prove that the gold was illusory at some point. it never was.

that's because jimjar is suggested to be the avatar of a gnomish deity who does not know he is a god. out of the abyss leaves it vague as to which god, but they suggest garl glittergold, the leader of the gnome pantheon. this is who he was for us.

tl;dr when gossamer says "fuck the gods" with her whole chest she does NOT know she means it a little bit literally

[venushorned]

baldies fucker

Trance with one eye open.

[venushorned]

@saintsdawn said: ‘I’ve always liked choosing my own path.’ 

Gossamer nods in quiet agreement as she tosses another dull, tarnished butter knife onto a growing pile of other dull, tarnished butter knives. Every so often, they find a rare gem among the silverware, some piece that may yet be worth cleaning up and saving to sell; the problem is always an issue of weight. What can be carried, for how long, and when they must move quickly and efficiently through rough wilderness? Inventory must be regularly sorted and assessed. Some things get left behind.

          “I feel the same way.” She turns a fork over beneath the sunlight for closer inspection, and then sighs and discards it. Garbage. “What will you do next? When this is all over?”

[venushorned]

Thinking about this again and I do think she would turn to Orin first. Gortash is smarter than her, and she knows it; Orin is a wildcard, but Gossamer will take the gamble over a game she knows she is not equipped to win (alone). If she sways Orin, Orin knows him more--can be an asset in toppling him. (I don't think we need to dwell on Gossamer's logic of "smarter enemy = more dangerous than the insane murder princess.")

I say it a lot, but I can't emphasize enough that Gossamer's core contradiction is doing utterly selfish things for other people. She is not above making a unilateral decision and then executing on it herself, with or without party buy-in. She sold her soul to Graz'zt so she could save her mother, knowing that doing so would severely jeopardize what she and the Saints were actively working toward.

She will do the same thing for Mol, a kid she barely knows, come late Act 2/early Act 3. Fuck Raphael, but also, if it keeps him away from that kid, sure. Show her where to sign and in two to three business weeks she will turn around and kill him anyway. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

She isn't even Tav, to be clear, she is not the designated leader in all this, but she would still also try to reason with Gortash, and maybe Orin if it's before the abduction. She will go behind backs to do this, if she thinks there is even a sliver of a chance to convince either of them to turn against the other and help the Prism-Bearers destroy the brain.

[venushorned]

If James Gunn directed a fucking sick combat scene for your muse, intended to really get to the core of what they're all about and show them at their prime, what song is playing? I'll go first.

Gossamer's will always be I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me).

[venushorned]

“Bad Venus”