venustkiller

[venustkiller]

[venustkiller]

eddie munson, metalhead.

[venustkiller]

𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐈𝐓 (𝐄.𝐌.)

summary: over the course of your friendship, eddie never noticed that you didn’t swear. he took it upon himself to find a way to change that. it was pure chance that you were also screaming his name in the process. [4.7k+ words]

warnings: smut (18+ minors dni), fingering, oral (female receiving), humping, dirty talk

pairing: eddie munson x female!best friend!reader

a/n: oh. my. goodness.this is the first full-blown fic that i’ve written in a while and my first ever published smut. this is probably my favorite thing i’ve ever written & the longest. as always, i hope you enjoy and I encourage you to interact with this. i’d really appreciate it. *also, i know hellraiser comes out in 1987… just pretend it didn’t for my sake <3

“Ouch! Motherlover!” You exclaimed out of the blue, breaking the silence in the room. You shook your left hand vigorously, hoping to alleviate the pain that struck your pointer finger.

After examining the injury, you gazed up at Eddie sitting on his throne. He had a look on his face that you couldn’t quite decipher. He looked slightly concerned, hearing you cry out in pain had startled him but on the other hand, it seemed as if he could burst out laughing at any second.

“Papercut.” You explained, holding up your finger so that he could see.

A smirk appeared on his face, “I figured. Looks gnarly.” Eddie’s tone was laced with sarcasm.

The two of you were currently in the drama room at Hawkins High School. Hellfire had just been slaughtered by the Cult of Vecna and was in need of a new campaign. Everyone in the club was itching to prove to not only themselves but Eddie that they were capable of outsmarting him and beating his new labyrinth of a campaign.

You weren’t Dungeon Master but, you were his best friend and a big help when it came to brainstorming. Eddie often found that whenever the two of you were riffing off of the top of each other's heads, he came up with the best ideas. So, it wasn’t unusual that you’d stay late after school to help him.

“What?” His sarcastic response didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“Nothing.” He shrugged, still smirking. Eddie peaked at you from behind his hair to see that you weren’t buying it.

You poked his arm in the same spot where his bat tattoo was permanently etched into his skin, “C’mon. What?”

If Eddie knew you half as well as he thought he did, he should’ve guessed that you would probe, “It’s just-” He paused and chuckled to himself, “Motherlover? Really Y/N.”

“What? I always say that!”

“Yeah, exactly. You always say “motherlover” He air quoted, “I mean, what’s wrong with just saying motherfucker and moving on?”

“Nothing’s wrong with swearing. It’s just not my thing.” You shrugged as you continued to scribble away in your notebook.

Even when the two of you were harebrained freshmen, ripe for the picking, Eddie can’t recall hearing you curse. He just assumed that it was because your innocence was still lively & intact.

But as time went on and your age increased, you would stay out past your curfew, unbeknownst to your parents. Or you would indulge in smoking with Eddie at his trailer. So, it wasn’t like you were some goodie-two-shoes who got on her knees every Sunday to pray and repent for her sins.

Eddie reached across the table and closed the book you were writing in. Then, he proceeded to gently snatch it away from you and slide it across the empty table. The two of you watched as it slid off the edge and smacked the floor.

“I was using that.” It would be a lie if you said you were surprised that he’d do something like that but, that’s just who Eddie is. A man that goes to great lengths to get your undivided attention.

“I call bullshit,” Eddie began, adjusting his position in his throne so that one of his legs was thrown haphazardly across the wooden arm, “Out of all of the crazy, ridiculous, rash stunts that we’ve pulled over the course of our friendship… you draw the line at swearing?”

“I mean, Henderson curses more than you and he’s like… twelve.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s fourteen,” You corrected.

“Don’t try and change the subject, princess.” Eddie deadpanned, not breaking eye contact.

Your mind flashed away from your current conversation to a dream that you had maybe three nights ago.

Eddie’s face was burrowed between your thighs, licking up your cunt before stopping at your clit and swirling his tongue, the way that drove you crazy.

Despite everything, despite your legs wrapped around his shoulders, despite his hair covering the top half of his face, he never broke eye contact with you. Not even for a second.

“You like that, princess?” He asked you before continuing to lap at your pussy.

You were instantly transported back to where you sat. In a room with Eddie. Not in his trailer sprawled out on his bed, “What have I told you about calling me Princess?” You pointed an accusatory finger at him.

He swatted it away as quickly as you lifted it, “How ‘bout this. I’ll stop when you tell me to shut the fuck up.”

You protested, “No, I’m not doing that!”

“How about shut the hell up. That’s better, right?” Eddie continued, refusing to let up.

Despite his best efforts, you still stood your ground, “Gosh, no, Eddie!”

“Alright,” He paused. You could tell by how his eyebrows were furrowed and how he mindlessly twirled his rings that he was thinking and hadn’t given up yet.

“Telling me to stick it where the sun shines?” He proposed, “It’s a step in the right direction, huh?” Eddie smiled.

At this, you didn’t even try and protest. You just shook your head and rose from your chair, walking to the end of the table and retrieving the notebook that Eddie had so kindly flung across the room.

Returning to your seat, you opened the page you’d been working on and finished your thoughts.

A few seconds passed before Eddie realized that you were intentionally ignoring him. He scoffed, “Jesus H Christ. You’re hopeless, princess.”

You swallowed, trying so hard not to go back to the deep crevices of your mind that thought of Eddie that way. He’s your best friend. Get yourself together. You told yourself.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’ll get there one day.”

He used this nickname so often that it could’ve doubled as your name. But today, you couldn’t stand to have him call you anything other than Y/N. You had to change the subject or else you’d be clenching your thighs the entire drive home.

“Hey!” You whacked his hand closest to you.

“Did you ever stop to think that maybe we could’ve had the new beast for this month's campaign if you weren’t such an asshole?” Another whack, this time on his kneecap.

“One day.” He reiterated before scribbling something on a scratch sheet of paper, completely ignorant to the pool of desire he caused to form in your underwear just by simply calling you a name.

˚ · •. ° .

The entire room erupted in whoops and hollers as Frank Cotton’s dismembered body panned into the frame. Jeff stood on the edge of his loveseat while Gareth clapped at the television screen. Eddie on the other hand remained silent, focusing on the movie.

Occasionally, members of Hellfire gathered at Jeff’s house to watch a horror movie. Today, it was decided that you’d be watching Hellraiser.

This was a very different pick from your run-of-the-mill Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th. Hellraiser breached a new level of gore and Eddie was forced to step in as dungeon master and forbid the younger members of Hellfire to participate in this particular flick.

“I don’t want to be responsible for replacing your bedsheets.” He’d said when talking to Dustin, which resulted in Eddie being told off with some expletives.

Although he didn’t tell you, Eddie considered asking if you wanted to sit this one out. He remembers how nervous you looked when people started getting slaughtered left and right by Jason Voorhees. From how Gareth described it, Hellraiser made all the other movies you’d watched seem like a walk in the park.

Now, you sat next to him, squirming slightly in your seat on Jeff’s couch. Eddie turned his head to glance at you, expecting to see you looking away from the carnage on screen but, he was mistaken.

You didn’t peel away from the bloodshed. Not even for a second. He should’ve known that you’d do this. Be stubborn and stare the violence down, even if all you wanted to do was shield your eyes.

Eddie thought of a way to add fuel to the fire.

He wrapped his arm around your shoulder. As expected, you didn’t even bat an eyelash. This was something that Eddie did so often during these movies that it became second nature.

He gave you a few seconds to adjust to his arm before he inched in closer to your ear and whispered, “Are you creeped out?” Despite his devious intentions, it was a genuine question.

If Eddie got even a sense that this was starting to get too much for you, he would’ve whisked you out of there.

“Uh-uh.” You shook your head, still keeping your eyes glued to the screen.

Eddie pressed on, “Are you sure? I can tell them to turn it off… princess.” He added at the last second.

You could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

Suddenly, you became hyperaware of everything. The way Eddie’s arm was draped across your shoulder, the weight of his chest as it pressed against you, his thigh glued to yours, his breath fanning across your neck as he spoke… everything.

If this movie wasn’t going to be the death of you, he sure was.

Despite everything your body was urging you to do, you didn’t give in. You just kept a neutral look on your face and paid him no attention.

“Oh, don’t be that way,” He urged, “You’re not gonna tell me to fuck off, princess?” There was an edge to his voice.

It was no surprise that you felt wetness begin to pool in your underwear for the second time this week. Lord. If only he was aware of the things he did to me, maybe he wouldn’t do them at all.

“C’mon, Y/N. Just say one bad word, for me?” He begged. When he said this, the typical playfulness in his voice was gone, nowhere to be found.

You tore your eyes from the television, but when you looked at Eddie’s face only to see that signature Cheshire cat grin upon his face, you knew you fell for it.

All Eddie wanted was for you to give in. It wasn’t the thing he’d longed for you to do the most but, it was still something. A step in the right direction, he’d said earlier this week.

He was itching to say it again now. Instead, he opted for, “Progress, Princess. I’ll crack you soon enough.”

Just like that, Eddie turned his attention back to the movie. He left his arm draped around you but other than that, there was no indication that he’d ever interacted with you.

You gaped at him for a moment. How could he just-? Why would he-? Is he just gonna do something like that, right here, right now, and pretend like he doesn’t know the effect he has on me? You thought.

“Y/N!” A voice ripped you from your thoughts.

Gareth looked on edge, “Are you even watching? This movie cost like $15 to rent at Family Video. The least you could do is pretend you’re interested.” He scolded.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to stand on Jeff’s coffee table and yell what Eddie just did, how he riled you up only to leave you high and dry.

But what good would that do? Admitting that your best friend made you wet just by whispering in your ear?

It would just result in teasing from Jeff and Gareth– maybe even Eddie himself. You could hear him now, “Sweetheart, if I make you that hot and bothered all you have to do is use your words like a big girl, ‘kay?”

You bit your tongue, opting for the rational option. To keep watching the movie and pretending as if nothing had happened.

˚ · • . ° .

Three days later, you found yourself experiencing merciless teasing at the hands of Eddie Munson again. Well– not exactly. At least not yet but, you could feel it coming.

Even with your inhibitions low, even with a blunt laced through your fingers… you just knew.

You were currently sitting in Eddie’s bed, sharing a blunt and talking about nothing in particular while he tuned his guitar. Right now, your eyes were closed, listening to him pluck away.

You felt his bed even out and you opened your eyes and propped yourself up on your elbows, trying to see where the man was going.

He grabbed a pick that was on his desk. Your head fell back against his pillow when you realized he wasn’t going far.

As the bed dipped down, you heard a bang against the wall followed by, “Shit!” Eddie cursed.

This time, you sat all the way up, seeing Eddie grab his elbow, “I hit my funny bone.” He explained, taking another second to breathe before extending his arm in your direction, signaling for you to pass the joint.

“I think that’s enough guitar for me today.” He joked, before taking a long, deep, inhale to let the smoke enter his lungs before exhaling it all out.

“You should take a page outta my book and try not to curse.” You said, resting your head against the wall for support.

Eddie looked at you, taking another drag, “And why would I do that when it’s just so…” He searched for the right word, “Fun? Liberating?” He couldn’t decide.

“How about neither?” You challenged.

You had no idea why you started to antagonize your best friend. Maybe you just wanted to get the teasing out of the way since it’s been a little while since the last time he tried to get you to swear.

Or, maybe you were hoping it lead to somewhere else.

“You think you’re better than me, huh?” Eddie smirked, “You’ve got some superiority kink or something.”

You decided to throw him a bone, “I do have the urge to curse sometimes.”

“Oh yeah? And when is that?” He asked, interest piqued.

“When I get hurt. Like the other day in the drama room. I don’t think you realize how close I was to actually saying it.”

You extended your arm and pried the blunt from Eddie’s lips, “And stop hogging this.”

“So, you don’t wanna swear like a sailor any other time?” He inquired, not even phased that you stole his joint away from him.

Eddie decided that you could keep that one since it was almost gone anyway. He reached for his tin “lunchbox” and grabbed another pre-rolled blunt. He’d probably pinch himself later, knowing that it was supposed to be for a customer but, right now, he didn’t care.

“Not even when you’re touching yourself?” Eddie asked so nonchalantly as he fumbled with his lighter. He said it as casually as you’d ask about the weather or if someone was enjoying their meal.

If you knew he would have dropped a bombshell like that, you never would have brought it up in the first place.

“W-what?” You managed to sputter out, “Why would you even ask me something like that?”

He sighed, “Don’t tell me I struck a nerve, princess?” There he goes. With that nickname again.

Oh, you struck a nerve, alright.

“We never talk about stuff like this is all.” Your brain didn’t even know what to make out of this interaction.

“There’s no time like the present, sweetheart,” Eddie replied, staring you down, “So, what’s the answer?”

You thought about the different ways to reply. You could continue to hold out, refusing to entertain Eddie’s ideas. Or you could give in and end this cycle of desire and damp panties.

Eddie obviously got tired of waiting for you to respond and decided to throw another question into the mix, “What about when someone else touches you?”

And just when you thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse, they did.

“No.” You answered definitively.

I don’t want someone else. I want you. You thought but didn’t dare say.

“Hmm.” Eddie nodded his head at this newfound information and you let out a breath you didn’t even know you’d been holding in.

Thank God the 3rd degree was finally ove-

“So when Harrington went to town,” He started, “You weren’t itching to say anything?”

You had a brief (and I mean brief) romantic history with Steve Harrington.

During your junior year, the two of you went on one date together to the drive-in movie theater just outside of Hawkins. It was a nice experience but, you found yourself longing to be watching a different movie with Hellfire– well, Eddie.

You mentioned hanging out with Steve to Eddie once. You were shocked that he remembered it but what shocked you even more was that he assumed Steve “went to town.”

“Considering we never even got that far, no.” You admitted, thankful to put that rumor to rest, whether he’d conjured it up in his head or heard it roaming the halls.

But of course, knowing Eddie, he just had to be thorough. He asked again, just to clarify, “So Harrington never…?”

“Nope.”

Eddie took a beat, mentally taking notes. Good.

Another question popped into his mind and with him already on his second blunt of the night, he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Has anyone ever?”

“No.”

He hummed, then took another slow drag of his blunt, making you wait in anticipation for what he was going to say next, “If it makes you feel any better, no guy at school knows anything worth a damn.”

You couldn’t hold back the scoff that passed your lips. “Right. And you do?” If Eddie could tease you, you could tease him right back.

Eddie had taken home his fair share of people after shows at The Hideout, mostly people just itching to say they’ve slept with someone in a band. He was surprised that hearing you doubt his abilities in bed stung him so much.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” He stopped, then added under his breath, “I bet I could have you screaming.”

You heard him, heard what he said… what he was alluding to. Your breath caught in your throat and you forced yourself to swallow it down. Get ahold of yourself. He’s only teasing.

Eddie didn’t intend for you to hear what he said but, would it be such a bad thing that you did?

He can’t recall the last time he looked at you as strictly his best friend. The two of you crossed borders that a typical duo wouldn’t: sleeping in each other’s beds, holding hands when a movie got a bit too scary, Eddie kissing your forehead before he left your house.

And that was just the surface level. God only knows how much the two of you had practically seeped into each other’s skin after your years of friendship.

With everything going on right now, Eddie’s inhibitions lowered, the feeling of his cock tightening in his jeans at the prospect of you two finally crossing that godforsaken line… he couldn’t stop himself.

“C’mon, princess. Don’t try and act all high and mighty now like you haven’t thought of me that way.” He started, fully expecting you to smack him on the side of the head but, you didn’t.

Eddie kept going, “Like you haven’t thought about me with my head between those pretty thighs.”

“I haven’t.” You gulped, your hand traveled up your arm and stopped at your elbow.

After knowing each other for years, it was obvious that you’d pick up on one another’s habits. Certain words that you’d coin, your favorite items of clothing… when you were lying.

The number of times you’d call your parents from Eddie’s house, claiming that the two of you were studying when in actuality you weren’t. He noticed the way you scratched your elbow while lying through your teeth.

Just like you were right now.

“Mosquito bite?” He asked, pointing out your nervous tick, “Or did you hit your funny bone too?” He smirked.

“E-Eddie,” You stuttered, “Trying to seduce me isn’t gonna get me to say a bad word.” You chuckled nervously.

“Really?” He said, unconvinced, “When have you, Y/N Y/L/N, ever backed down from a challenge?”

Suddenly, you realized how close in proximity the two of you were. For the second time in the past week, you could feel his body heat radiating from his chest.

“Y/N…” He continued in a sing-song tone, “Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you were staring at my hands while I played my guitar.”

“Were you thinking about these fingers fucking your pussy?” Eddie held up his ring-clad fingers and whispered in your ear.

“God, Eddie,” You exhaled, “Are you really taking this that far?”

This was your final attempt. It was the last time you were going to resist what your body was screaming at you to do… Let Eddie take you right here, right now, on his bed.

“Tell me to stop, Princess. Tell me to let it go and I will. Promise.” He extended his pinky finger.

You didn’t take it.

“So, is that a yes?” Eddie asked, scanning your body for any indication that you didn’t want this. That was the last thing he wanted to do, make you uncomfortable.

But with the way your chest heaved up and your thighs were pressed together, he knew.

“Mhm.” You nodded.

Eddie tutted, “Uh-uh, Sweetheart. Use your words.”

This was it. You knew once you uttered these words, your friendship with Eddie would be changed forever. It would breach uncharted territory. The thought of that should have terrified you but, it didn’t. You longed for this.

And right now, wanting his calloused fingers inside of you trumped any hesitation that could’ve formed.

“Yes.”

Smirking, Eddie moved from his seated position and climbed to the edge of the bed. He pulled your ankles with enough force so that you were lying down.

Crawling back up, Eddie hovered over you, his hair falling in your face while his hands started to unbutton your jeans, “You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to do this, Y/N/N.”

Eddie took his sweet time. He slowly tugged down your zipper and began to peel your pants off of your body. Your hips bucked up so that he could get them past your ass and down to your ankles. He gave them a final pull before they fell onto the floor.

He returned to his position above you. Eddie maintained intense eye contact with you before cupping your clothed pussy.

“You’re so warm, Sweetheart. I bet you’re wet too, hmm?” He used his pointer finger to push your panties to the side, lightly grazing your clit in the process.

He was right. Arousal practically dripped from your pussy and right onto his bedsheets, “Fuck,” He sighed, “Is this all for me?”

“Y-yeah. All for you, Eds.” Your voice was breathy as you tried not to moan in anticipation.

He hummed approvingly before taking his hand away, letting your underwear fall right back into place.

Suddenly, his attention fell onto your neck. Eddie left a trail of kisses starting at your collar bone and kissed up to your earlobe, “Take them off for me, Princess.” He demanded.

You didn’t waste any time, using both hands to slide out of your panties. Before you could toss them aside, Eddie grabbed them from you and shoved them into his pocket, “Don’t worry, Sweetheart. I’ll give them back later.”

You felt his fingers brush the inside of your thigh, inches away from where you wanted him the most. You waited a few more seconds, trying to gauge his next move.

When his fingers kept dancing in between your thighs, you whined, “Eddie, if you’re not going to do anything-” Oh.

You felt as 3 of Eddie’s fingers slipped into your pussy. You could feel the ice-cold rings that littered his fingers brush against your inner thigh as he continued working, curling his fingers.

Eddie began to pump his fingers in and out of you, feeling your chest rise and fall. Lewd sounds and whimpers slipped past your lips when he brought his thumb to your clit and began to flick the bundle of nerves.

His cock strained against his jeans hearing you whine from underneath him, “Cat got your tongue, Princess? Don’t worry, I’ll have you screaming pretty soon.” He smirked.

Eddie increased his pace, which had your moans getting louder and louder each time his thumb circled your bud. Your eyes were snapped shut and your knuckles were white because of how hard you were gripping his bedsheets.

You felt heat begin to rise in the pit of your stomach, “I’m so close, Eds. Keep going.” You begged him.

His fingers didn’t let up as he began to slowly inch down the length of your body. Eddie used his free hand to spread your legs wider before positioning himself between them.

“You’re close, angel? Do you want to cum?” He asked.

“Mhm.” You moaned, arching your back.

“Say it.” You could feel Eddie’s breath fan across your clit.

Even in the heat of the moment, with Eddie’s fingers so furiously pounding your cunt to death, he still didn’t give up.

“Eddie. Please, just, please.” You groaned.

His fingers began to slow down. The coil that was building in your stomach began to fade away as he started to remove his fingers from your pussy.

“What are you doing?” You whimpered at the loss of contact and peered down at where Eddie was perched.

“Say it and I’ll keep going.”

Jesus. Is he really going to pull something like this? Right now out of all moments?!

Eddie could see the cogs churning in your head. He decided to make things even harder for you by placing a ginger kiss right on your clit, causing you to moan.

He’s officially won.

“Fuck! Just…” You stuttered, “Just fucking let me finish, please!” You pleaded, finally giving in after almost 2 weeks of being stubborn.

“Good girl.” He praised before hiking both of your legs up in the air and throwing them behind his shoulders.

He wasted no time, getting immediately back to work by showing your clit the most love and attention. Eddie licked a stripe up your cunt causing you to gasp.

You could feel waves of heat build-up again, followed by the coil threatening to snap as he continued to lap at your pussy.

Eddie glanced up and saw the way you were clutching his sheets for dear life. He peeled your left hand away and guided it to the back of his head. You then added your right hand into his locks without assistance, “Shit! Eddie, I’m almost there.”

You felt your orgasm approach as you began to clench around nothing and grind onto his face. The hands that were intertwined in his hair tugged on it, causing his face to angle slightly upward towards you.

As flashes of light began to cloud your vision, signaling to yourself that you finally reached your high and came all over Eddie’s sheets, you felt the bed begin to shake.

Shit, was my orgasm that powerful? You thought, highly confused.

You felt Eddie’s movements come to a stop. His head was still laid between your thighs, your fingers were still laced through his mane, pulling on it.

Holy. Shit.

You were frozen in your spot when you realized what was really happening. It wasn’t your orgasm that was so intense that caused the bed to shake, it was Eddie. Humping it. It really shouldn’t have gotten you as riled up as it did.

“Fuck, Princess. You’ve got me going feral.” He grunted, continuing to pound his mattress into oblivion.

You didn’t remove your hands from his hair as he continued to fuck his mattress. You watched, dumbfounded, and highly turned on because of this.

For almost two weeks, Eddie had been teasing you nonstop. Constantly doing things to intentionally get you turned on. You decided that it was your turn to add fuel to the fire, “Good boy.”

“Jesus. Fuck. God, I wish this mattress was you right now.” His head fell on your thigh and kissed it.

“Shit!” He swore once more, before letting out a grunt, letting you know that he had finished.

The aggressive movements came to an abrupt stop and he stood up and climbed fully into bed. He brushed away the hair that was matted to your forehead with sweat.

“That was….” Eddie sighed, flopping his head next to yours.

“Fun? Liberating?” You quoted him from earlier that night.

He scoffed, “It was, wasn’t it?”

“Fuck yeah.” You said, loud and proudly.

A grin slowly appeared on Eddie’s face. You swore, without even being provoked, “That’s my girl.” He kissed the top of your forehead.

[venustkiller]

ok but eddie DEFINITELY carry’s on fucking you no matter the circumstances, walked in on? still fucking you, end of the world? still fucking you.

“eddie please” you cried out scraping your nails down his pale back. creating red claw marks.

“what is it baby? what is it?” he whispered in your ear as he thrusted again. his whole trailer shook as he fucked you raw on his kitchen counter.

“har- ha-“ tears patted down your cheeks as you attempted to speak. you where completely cock drunk. unable to speak. just scream and curse eddies name. fuck he loved it. he knew only he could see you like this, his perfect little mess. he wiped the black mascara filled tears off your fresh skin.

“aw, does the pretty girl want me to go harder?” eddie teased cupping your cheek. you nodded.

you bit down on your lip almost hard enough for it to bleed. eddies lips kissed your shoulders gently as he grabbed your hips and forced you back roughly on his cock.

“yo, munson?” steve harrington could be heard banging on the door. you froze before trying to get up. eddies eyes grew wide as he held tightly onto your waist.

“eddie what are you-“ you moaned louder as he slammed into you again.

“sh, be a good girl now cmon’” eddie said in almost a pleading tone as he begged you to stay warming his cock.

his hand now grasped on a cabinet above you and his lips attached for another rough kiss. your tits bounced slowly as he lifted your hips for another thrust.

“munson?” steve’s voice now trailed through the living area with other chatter behind him.

“eddie” you whispered. he didn’t answer. he continued as if he couldn’t hear anything.

“ed- oh” steve winced as he saw a sight for literal sore eyes.

you, sitting up against the kitchen counter completely nude. a scatter of tattoos could be seen cluttered across your breasts and lower stomach. you hair was messy yet fucking perfect. your cheeks where covered with soft lines mascara and your lips where ever so swollen with eddies kisses.

eddies backside could be seen with your legs wrapped around his waist. who would’ve knew he had such a great ass? his hair was a frizzy mess from the rough hair pulling you had been doing. god the moans he let out when you pulled his locks from the pleasure you where receiving. his back had long red scrapes down them all thanks to you.

“ew” robin sighed turning around and exiting as fast as she entered.

“eddie” you attempted to whisper but it was followed with another thrust.

“you need something?” eddies eyes met steves. eddie loved the idea of steve watching. he knew steve wanted you. he didn’t exactly hide it. he loved the idea of tormenting steve with what was his.

“i- uh” steve gulped watching as a soft pink scattered across your cheeks as your eyes met his.

“you here to take a lesson on how to actually fuck women Harrington?” eddie grinned biting his lip as he pounded into you causing you to gasp.

steve gulped again. he tried to move. but he was frozen in place. watching the way your hips met eddies.

“you gonna take a picture or get the fuck out?” eddie grinned again hearing you moan his name and pull tightly on his hair. causing him to let out a groan.

steve clenched his eyes shut as he turned to hide the tent in his pants. he shouldn’t have liked this. but you looked so fucking hot gasping for your release.

“oh and harrington.” eddie added as he did one final thrust which caused you to scream out as you finished on his cock. steve didn’t turn. he couldn’t. his boner was now visible. he was about to fucking cream in his pants with the pretty, pretty noises you made.

“lock the door on your way out” eddie spoke almost out of breath. steve chewed on his lip as he slowly walked out. holy shit.

[venustkiller]

|freeze your brain| riff

finale

words: 1543

triggers: none

previous || next

Friday, December 15, 1951

The bottom of my rubber shoes clicked and scuffed across the concrete as I rushed my way on the sidewalk. It was eight at night and I had just finished my shift; I had picked up some more hours to pay for a nice gift to Riff for Christmas. He didn't know this, though. I used the excuse that Valentina just needed more help since Tony left and I'm fulfilling my duty as a faithful niece. Because of Riff's upbringing, I'm well aware that he isn't used to receiving gifts, so I have to make sure it's perfect and ready for him.

I hugged my coat around me tighter, feeling a cold winter breeze press against me, giving me goosebumps that crawl on my skin. It has now been four months since the rumble, and I'm so thankful. It was hard at first, he would have nightmares that recalled the night in his mind. He would refuse help, trying to prove he wasn't weak and that he didn't need medicine.

'I've gotten this far without it, why should I need it now?' he would pout

But finally, after some trial and error, he accepted the help and began his road to recovery. His stab wound fully healed in early November and he is finally back on his feet once again, bouncing around the streets of New York and causing trouble wherever he goes.

Speaking of trouble, we haven't seen much of the Sharks. And when we do, it is either in no man's land or in their territory. The rumble was to determine who ruled the streets but since there was no true victor, Bernardo forfeited. Not only for the sake of his little sister to be with Tony, a romance that slipped by me while consumed with Riff, but because I think Bernardo is scarred by what he had almost done. After talking to Tony, he sympathized, explaining the way he felt after almost killing the one boy before being sent away for a year. I think Bernardo truly regrets that night despite Riff living. I think that's why he forfeited; because he realized there is more to life than rumbling. The Jets have realized this as well, and because of this, the two gangs have learned to coexist.

The Jets are still rambunctious and wild, so they still create little annoyances for Krupke and Schrank. Melissa tells me about how red Schrank's face gets when Riff and the boys pull a little stunt in the night. According to her, his face turns into a cherry-red tomato being squeezed in the palm of a hand, his eyes seemingly ready to pop out of their sockets. I have to assume we all get this with age, but she says that Krupke has this vertical vein on his forehead that becomes prominent when frustrated, and god I wish I could see it for myself.

Melissa and I have begun to grow closer than ever, and despite her reservations, she has begun to warm up to Riff. Though, she still doesn't appreciate him dripping blood onto her floors when he comes to our place to get patched up by me. I don't have a lot of medical experience, but I know the Jets aren't made of money, so I do my best to help them where I can without having to resort to hospitals. I guess that's another perk for working at Doc's: employee discount.

Although I would have preferred to go straight home after work and eat the dinner Melissa had prepared and made for me, Riff had instructed me to go somewhere else. He wanted me to come to the docks. When he first asked me to show up there, I assumed it would be Jet business considering it was one of their main hang-out spots. But he insisted that no Jets will be involved in whatever he has in store for tonight. So with that, I agreed, and that's where I'm headed.

I had never been to the docks before seeing Riff; I had no reason to. But I had to admit, in its own unique way, it was peaceful and beautiful. Sure, it was dusty and dingy and it was infested with Jets, but it held so many beautiful memories. It was a safe space, a place that took your secrets and locked them tight. You sit on the docks and just gaze out, the ocean water going for miles on end until it meets the sky in a blur of blues. It was truly a place unlike anything I had seen before.

I had arrived at the docks and made my way further in, knowing exactly where Riff would be. I followed the gravel decline, passing the large mounds of scrap metal and tires, passing the ripped-up couch that I could usually find Balkan napping on. I continued my path to one of the docks that had an overhead. Not all of the docks had overheads to protect you from the sun during the day but this specific one was the only one to not be destroyed.

As the wooden structure came closer into view, I could make out Riff's silhouette leaning against one of the posts. I couldn't help but feel the corners of my lips rise, the little butterflies in my stomach never seeming to cease despite being around him often. I approached him quietly- well, as quiet as I could be considering the creaky wood below my feet. He heard me coming and turned around, wrapping a hand around the post. A smirk crept onto his face as I padded over to him. When I was close enough, he engulfed me in a warm embrace, kissing my lips eagerly in the process. I couldn't help but try to stifle a giggle. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tangled my fingertips in his hair, playing with it gently. He pulled back before going in for another kiss, this time gentle and loving. When satisfied, he pulled away a second time and placed his hands on my hips.

"Hey girly-girl, how was ya shift?" he asked looking down at me

I smiled, "It was good, easy today," It made me happy when he asked about my day, it showed he cared in such a simple way.

"Good, cuz I got somethin' to top this night with a cherry," he smirked

"And what's that?" I ask curiously, tilting my head to the side slightly

He pulled back slightly and pulled me with him, keeping one hand on my waist and the other taking my hand in his, spinning us around gently. It was a full moon tonight, and it shined bright. Brighter than a thousand stars, illuminating the sky and all that's below. Its light reflected on the surface of the ocean water, illuminating our faces gently. He continued to dance with me on the dock, playfully humming as he did so.

I giggled, "What's this for?" I asked

"You know I ain't made of money, so I have no nice gift to give ya. But I want to take this moment to thank ya," he said simply with his charming accent, never taking his eyes off me

"Thank me? What for?" I pressed further

What could he possibly be thanking me for?

"For everythin'. For lovin' me, takin' care of me. I'm not sure if I'd be here without ya..." he said earnestly, still refusing to break eye contact. I looked into his eyes; he was speaking from the bottom of his heart. Riff wasn't very good with words but this much was true: even the simplest words could make me melt.

I feel my eyes well up slightly and the grin on my face grow, blooming with joy, "Oh, Riff, I don't know what to say, I-"

"You don't gotta say nothin'. Just... don't leave," he said, finally diverting his eyes down

This man is gonna be the death of me...

I tilt my head and take my hand up to his face, cupping his cheek tenderly. I rub the pad of my thumb across his cheek, brushing the scar that lay on it. He leans into the touch, "Te quiero," I say.

Riff raises his eyes at me and slightly furrows his eyebrows, "What does that mean?" he questions

"I love you.”

His eyes brightened up with joy, remembering that we had never exchanged these words before. These little vows that said 'my heart is yours'. He smiles wide and pulls me in, kissing me deeply with such a fiery passion. To that, I return the kiss with my own loving ferocity. At that moment, nothing else mattered; just me and him. Nothing mattered but the way his lips melted and molded perfectly to fit mine. The way he bit my lip, asking for entrance to a place he didn't need to ask for.

Eventually, we parted our lips, so desperately needing air that none of us seemed to have. He pressed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes with a smile, holding me tightly. I closed my eyes and sighed in contentment, the two of us slightly rocking back and forth.

"I love you, too."

[venustkiller]

|freeze your brain| riff

chapter eleven || seventeen

words: 3921

triggers: violence and blood

previous || next

Tuesday, August 19, 1951

Today, I've been nowhere but Doc's, sweeping the floors or doing anything that Valentina required of me. It wasn't my idea, today was my day off. But Melissa insisted that I busy my mind so I'm not trapped with my thoughts of Riff and all that became of last night. I couldn't help but yawn as I swept; I got no sleep last night due to nightmares. They weren't nightmares per se, but they were nightmares to me. They were beautiful recollections of that wonderful, lustrous night with Riff. But for me and my broken heart, I didn't want to see the beauty, only the ugly that comes with the mysterious gang leader.

Even when I was busy away at work I couldn't manage to escape my nightmares. Any break in conversation and my mind drifted away, my subconscious betraying me in the worst way possible. Why did he do this? Did he regret that night with me? Did he regret hurting me...?

No, don't think that way. He never cared about you; forget him, Nell.

Valentina could tell something was wrong, but I didn't tell her about last night. I didn't want to tell her how right she was about him and how wrong I was. I don't want to admit the fact that I let my heart get broken so easily. He took me in his hands and with a gentle squeeze, he broke me into nothing. I had no idea where he was and as much as I didn't want to, I cared. I wanted to know where he was or if he was okay. I couldn't help but think of how bloody his head was when he came to me that night.

He's the leader of the most vicious gang in the city, he's perfectly fine.

I ended up staying at Doc's for the whole day, I was still embarrassed to show my face even to Melissa. I promised her that I wouldn't let him break my heart and like my heart, the promise was broken. I felt embarrassed; not only for myself but also for Melissa. She is now the big sister of yet another girl who has been hurt by Riff Lorton.

To try and get as much business as possible, Valentina kept Doc's open until midnight on Saturdays instead of eight every evening. Because of this, I decided to stay up with her and run the shop until the clock strikes twelve. She tried to send me home earlier but I wouldn't have gone to bed so I might as well make use of my time and make some extra money.

I tried to keep my eye off the clock as much as possible; Melissa once told me this theory she learned in class that time will go by faster if you don't pay attention. And god I hope she is right. Though sometime after nine, I couldn't help but look at the clock when I saw a herd of Jets pass by Doc's. I recognized every one of them, and trailing far behind the group was Anybodys. Why were they patrolling the streets so late at night? I had no clue, but I just shook my head and busied myself. I shouldn't care about what they do.

—

It was time to start heading out for the rumble. The fight that would determine once and for all the true kings of the streets. The Jets had originally grouped up in an old mechanics shop, the nesting place for all of their stashed weapons. While the Jets have been getting excited about the rumble, they were also progressively getting worried about their leader. Normally, Riff was calm and collected and had a playboy facade. But recently, all the Jets could read is anger. Anger towards what exactly, they didn't know. But they all hoped it would aid in tonight and not the other way around.

On Riff's command, they left the building to head towards the salt shed. It was one of the few buildings in 'no man's land' as they called it. Not Jet territory and not Shark territory either. It was a safe choice, and nobody visited it despite it being in the city. There hadn't been snow in months so there was no need for anyone to come to the shed. It was a genius idea if Riff was honest with himself.

—

"That was Melissa on the phone," Valentina said as she walked away from the old machine on the table.

"Is everything okay?" I asked worriedly, dropping my feather duster and walking toward Val.

She put her hand up, "No, no everything is fine. She said she wanted you to come straight home after work."

"Why?"

"There's a rumble. She overheard the lieutenant," she answered. To that I nodded and turned, going back to my spot and continuing my task.

Huh, I guess working at the station does have some perks.

—

Riff led the pack towards the shed, the crisp air hitting him as he walked. In one hand, he carried a stained, wooden baseball bat and his other hand swung in motion with his body as he strutted down the streets. His kingdom, the concrete jungle, may not be his at a moment's notice and it wracked his brain. He thought about Tony, all the times they fought side by side to now; Tony being nowhere to be seen. He turned and looked at Ice, the loyal raven-haired boy beside him.

"Womb to tomb?" he asked in such a soft tone that Ice didn't recognize it to be his voice.

He looked back at the tall man and nodded with a confident smile, "Sperm to worm."

When they arrived at the salt shed, there was no sign of the Sharks. Riff motioned his head towards the opener and Ice walked over to it, pressing the button. Slowly but surely, the heavy metal door lifted to let the Jets inside. Once they began to walk inside, they saw the other shutter door begin to lift, revealing Bernardo and the Sharks. In the back, Numbers held tight onto his chains, squeezing them to let out a silent cry of anger caused by simply looking at the Puerto Ricans. Johnny and A-rab stood close together, the elder wanting to keep eyes on the young boy at all times. Mouthpiece looked uneasy, taking quiet anxious breaths through his mouth as his eyes darted across the building.

Riff took note of Bernardo's fists, the way they were beautifully and carefully wrapped around his knuckles to protect them. He bounced with every step, looking almost excited to land some punches on the Jets. No matter how intimidating Bernardo looked, Riff ensured to keep a straight face, remembering all the loss those Puerto Ricans have caused him. As the two gangs approached one another, chains and metal items clanged and jingled, filling the unspoken silence in the shed. Riff led the pack once more and let the tip of his bat drag across the concrete floor, creating an eerie echo.

Ice walked over to the conveyor belt and flipped the lever, turning on the lights in the building. The ice looked like snow and it felt like they were in a winter wonderland.

"Welcome to the North Pole," Ice said, not needing to speak very loudly for the Sharks to hear him.

"It's salt. For when the streets ice up."

Bernardo glared at Riff in silence for a moment before turning his head to say something in Spanish to a fellow Shark. It was sharp and curt and the brown man nodded, making his way to the lever and closing the door of the entrance they came in. Ice took notice and copied his movements. As he did, he received another command from Riff.

"Kill the lights," he said sharply. Ice did as told and returned to the pack, standing next to Riff. In the back, without anyone bothering to notice, Anybodys entered the shed, squeezing himself in before the doors shut. Staying low to the ground, he scurried to a pile of salt and watched the events fall into place.

"You promised your buddy was gonna be here. If you don't keep your word, jefe, how am I going to believe you'll keep out of our territory after..." Bernardo's eyes trailed from Riff to behind him. Emerging from the shadows, he saw his best friend Chino cut through the crowd of Jets, being shoved as he did so. Chino ignored the tauntings of the younger boys and crossed to Bernardo.

Bernardo grabbed him by the arm, "Que haces aqui? Te dije que te querdaras fuera de esto-"

"Lo se, pero quiero ayudar. Me quedo," he responded as he took off his glasses, placing them inside a pocket sewn into his jacket.

(Bernardo grabbed him by the arm, "What are you doing here? I told you to stay out of this-"

"I know, but I want to help. I'm staying," he responded as he took off his glasses, placing them inside a pocket sewn into his jacket.)

Riff laughed painfully, his back turned to Bernardo and Chino. He slammed the head of the bat onto the ground and chuckled, watching Tony also emerge from the shadows.

"And just when all hope is lost," he said simply.

The Jets cut a clear path for Riff to walk toward Tony. While Riff burned to get some sort of attention or look from his once dear friend, he received nothing, for Tony's gaze was fixated on a bubbling Bernardo who refused to stop his angry stare.

He smirked, "So, is this the shot heard around the world or just ya'know, more of your bullshit?" he asked, getting close and looking up due to height differences.

Tony broke his gaze and looked down at Riff, "Don't ask me about shooting pal, you're the one with the gun-"

"That's right, and who are you? Friend or foe?" Riff asked, losing any hint of playfulness. He was serious, he had no clue what to think of his once friend. Without Nell, he had no tie to keep him down to earth. That tie had been severed and he was floating into space, never to be seen again.

After a moment of silence, Tony rolled his eyes, "You're out of control."

Before Tony could leave Riff's grasp, he was grabbed by the shoulder by the paler boy. He turned, looking at Riff, and watched him as he pulled the gun from his back pocket. "Hey, I don't need it if you stand with us," he started. "Here, take it" he dared. "Go on, it'll be safe with you," he said, taking the gun and placing it in the inside pocket of Tony's jacket. He then slapped Tony's chest in a way friends would, "And you pitch in,"

Tony stared at his friend in disbelief, internally shaking his head. He turned and looked at Bernardo waiting impatiently, "I wanna talk to him-"

"I'm doing the talking," Riff interrupted, shoving past Tony and walking back to the two groups. "Let's do it!" he shouted, earning hollers of agreement from both parties. It was clear both the Sharks and the Jets were itching for a fight, dogs who yearned to get the flea off their backs.

Tony raced to get between Riff and Bernardo and once he did, he gave the Puerto Rican a kind smile. Riff had enough of it. Where was his best friend? Where was the Tony that fought the Egyptian Kings and the Emeralds? The triumphant leader of this bizarre army who fought to protect his brothers from harm's way.

Riff's head began to spin, he got dizzy from it all. If you asked him what happened, it was like he was put on anesthetics. He can describe things clearly to a certain extent and then it's a blank page; the part of the story still waiting to be written. All he can remember are little flashes; the fearful look in Bernardo's eyes, the tears streaming down Tony's bloodied face, and the way Riff received cold chills along his body when watching Tony return to old habits.

"You're breakin' my heart with this shit!" rings in his ears on loop as he struggles to make sense of those around him. It wasn't until he heard Baby John call his name and feel the cool steel blade under his calloused fingertips that he came back to reality. It was now to the death.

In the back, hidden behind a mound of salt, Anybodys watched the scene unfold anxiously. He didn't intend to get involved but once the knives were pulled out, he knew there was no turning back. He stumbled, climbing down the salt mound and making a beeline to the exit, sneaking underneath and out to the cool night air. He looked around frantically before going back in the direction of where they came, knowing he would be heading straight for Doc's.

—

I began to hum to myself as I cleaned the windows, spraying the glass in perfect time to match my melody. Valentina was currently counting the register for the evening, and she listened quietly as we worked. According to her, I had the voice of an angel. I didn't believe it for one second though. I don't think anyone likes who they are, deep down. Everyone is their own worst critic, worst enemy, worst friend. I was no exception to this whatsoever. When she got the chance, Valentina would try to get me to open up about what happened. But I couldn't bring myself to talk about it; because it would just lead back to that one enchanting night. I couldn't do it.

I had almost finished cleaning the windows; it was getting close to midnight. I was about to stop wiping the window when from seemingly nowhere, Anybody's face peered into the glass from the outside. He looked frantic, and sweaty, and he was breathing heavily. He looked to the door and ran over to it, opening it quickly.

"Nell, you gotta come with me!" he said, rushing over to me and taking the spray bottle out of my hand.

"Hey! Why-"

"Because Riff is in danger!" he urged once more

I looked at him blankly before registering his words. I laughed and rolled my eyes, taking the spray bottle from Anybodys. "Riff is always in danger, he doesn't need anyone," I said firmly

He stole the bottle from my hand once more, throwing it to the ground, causing the lid to pop open and spill the cleaner on the floor.

"Nell, there's a rumble. A really serious rumble, and he needs you!"

"Hey! You dirty my floor, you clean it!" Valentina called, peering over from the front counter. Our heads shot to look at her and Anybodys gave her a sheepish apologetic smile.

"S-sorry," he said. I bent down and picked up the bottle, turning the lid to close it. I used the rag to clean up the spill and stood back up.

I turned and began to walk away from the shorter boy, "I'm aware of the rumble."

"Then you know knives are neva not involved!" he exclaimed, following me. I stopped at the counter, setting the bottle and rag down. I rested my palms on the edge of the counter, looking at Val. She gave me a sad look, there wasn't much else to it. I closed my eyes and sighed, letting my head hang.

"Look, I don't know what's goin' on between you twos but Riff ain't himself. The more time we waste, the bigger the chances. Tony tried to stop it but-"

"Tony is there?" Valentina queried, Anybodys nodded his head

"You're the only one who can stop him. Please Nell," he said, walking over to my side to try to look at me.

I don't want him to die, but I don't know if I can face him. He hurt me. But even so, a part of me does want to stop this all. Talk to him and ask him about it all, why he lashed out at me. I don't want anyone's death on my conscience. I raise my head and open my eyes, looking at Anybodys.

"Okay, take me to him."

Anybodys and I ran through streets and alleyways. I have to admit, under another circumstance, I would see this as fun. I couldn't deter the worrying thoughts in my brain as I ran. They continued to fester and grow as Anybodys talked about the rumble. I asked him to explain it all as we ran, and in a way, I almost wished I didn't ask. I only saw Bernardo once, and that was at the dance. But now hearing how dangerous he is, I can only imagine what's happening. The night air stung and clung to my face, and I felt my hair fly in the wind as I sprinted.

"We're almost there, just that buildin' up ahead!" Anybodys pointed as we weaved through railways and abandoned train carts. When we finally arrived, he led me to the door, lifting the heavy metal and helping me slide under. Once I got inside, I held it to the best of my ability to help him get in as well.

It was dark inside, the only light coming from the glass windows and ceiling. No wonder it was called a salt shed, there was a ton of it. It looked like fresh snow and ice. I followed Anybdoyds in the direction of shouting and gasps. I could only see the back of people's heads, it looked like everyone was in a circle surrounding something.

When we got close enough, I could hear the sounds of blades cutting through the air. It made my stomach drop. I quickened my pace, approaching the side of the circle where the Jets were. I saw the backs of Numbers and Little Molly and watched from behind.

—

Inside the circle, Riff and Bernardo brawled, grabbing each other's arms and throwing one another around. After a bit of struggle, Bernardo pushed Riff, sending him flying into Tony's arms. Tony broke his arms free from Balkan and Action and held on tight to Riff.

"Tony!" Riff urged

"Okay, that's enough," Tony said, trying to stop Riff from fighting once more

"Tony! Tony!" Riff urged, fighting his way out of the brunette's arms, shoving them against his chest. He fumbled with his hands and wiggled around, trying to escape. "Let go, let go!" he shouted, finally breaking free of Tony's hold. He pulled out of his arms quickly, turning his direction back to Bernardo with speed.

"Stop!" Mouthpiece shouted

But it was too late. The warning hadn't come soon enough to stop the silver blade from digging into Riff's torso. He froze, Bernardo's hand still holding the knife and the other holding onto Riff's shoulder.

"No!" a blood-curdling scream echoed. It was a female from somewhere in the crowd.

Bernardo let go of Riff and slowly backed away, his face struck with terror at what he had just done. Instant regret filled him and all he could do was just stare at the lanky boy in front of him. Riff turned to Tony and looked up at him, tears beginning to well in his eyes. Tony began to tear up as well, his mouth agape and blood covering his cheek. Riff looks around at his fellow Jets and gives a sad chuckle. He walks closer to Tony and places his hand around the back of the brunette's neck in a loving manner. The corners of his mouth pull down as he realizes these are his final moments.

He blinks and lets a few tears fall from his face, "It's okay... It's okay," he assures his best friend. Tony's lip quivers at the bursting of emotions as Riff puts on a brave face. "Take it out," he says before his legs give out, him and Tony falling to the ground.

Nell pushed through the crowd of Jets and Sharks, racing over to Riff and Tony. Tony was shocked to see Nell here but understood, and because of that, he backed away to let her say goodbye.

She fell on her knees to the side of Riff and placed a hand under his head to prop him up. Hot tears streamed down her face, falling onto his chest, "No, no, no..." she cried

"Nell?" he croaked, surprised to see the girl he loved most here with him. He reached up his hand weakly to cup her cheek.

She nodded quickly, "It's me, It's me, I'm here," she whimpered, caressing the bloody hand on her cheek.

He smiled sadly, "I'm so sorry... I didn't mean what I said-"

She hushed him and circled the palm of her thumb on his hand lovingly, "I know, It's okay,"

He blinked slowly and chuckled, letting a tear fall, "I told ya, I'm damaged,"

She laughed sadly, her tears falling onto his cheek, her hand sliding down to hold his wrist like he had done that beautiful night in her bedroom. A fantasy that only the two of them could relish and relive.

"Fine... we're damaged, really damaged," she nodded shakily, "But that does not make us wise. We're not special, we're not different... we don't choose who lives or dies," she sang quietly, her voice cracking softly. The men around her watched in sorrow, many of the Jets holding each other to consolidate one another. Meanwhile, the Sharks began to back away and leave the scene; unsure of whether staying or leaving would be more respectful.

"Let's be normal... see bad movies-"

"Sneak a beer and watch TV," Riff sang in a tired, quivering voice

To that, Nell sobbed some more, "We'll bake brownies... or go bowling..." Riff's eyes began to flutter, the weight of his head falling into the palm of Nell's hand. He had a sweet, broken smile on his face as he dazed out, the image of Nell beginning to blur.

"Don't you want a life with me...?" she mewled, her own vision becoming blurry due to her tears.

"Can't we be seventeen? Is that so hard to do?" she sang out, her trembling voice echoing in the building. In the distance, the wailing sound of sirens can be heard, slowly increasing by the second. Many Jets begin to panic and scatter and any remaining Sharks do the same.

"If you could let me in... I could be good with you..." she cried

Anybodys ran over to Nell and pulled on her, "C'mon we gotsta go, the cops are comin!"

"No! I'm staying," she said defiantly, getting closer to Riff and holding his seemingly lifeless body. Anybodys eventually gave up and bolted with the rest of the Jets, leaving the two to be found by Schrank and Krupke.

She looked down at the boy in her arms and gently caressed his head, resting on her thigh. Although she had gone quiet, that did not mean her tears had stopped pouring; little chokes and hiccups broke through every now and then. Red and blue lights began to flash inside the salt shed, the sirens now indicating that the cops had arrived.

Nonetheless, she stayed put. She leaned down and pressed her forehead against his, "....cuz you're the one I choose..."

[venustkiller]

Hiii, when are you gonna update the riff fanfic?

hi i’m so sorry for the delay, i got my wisdom teeth taken out so i’m in the process of recovering. i am working on it as we speak, it is a very large chapter! i’m so sorry 💕

[venustkiller]

|freeze your brain| riff

chapter ten || pow

words: 1194

triggers: none

previous || next

Tuesday, August 19, 1951

It was the day of the rumble. Tony hadn't shown himself to Riff yet, off serenading young Maria somewhere. As for Riff? He was losing his patience. The minutes seemed like hours and they went by so slowly that Riff wondered if the rumble was even happening tonight. He had been spending his time with the Jets since the fight with Nell. He hated himself for how he treated her and the things he said, but he wasn't quite sure how else to keep her away from the rumble. Telling her the truth would've made her want to interfere and keep him from fighting. The Jets could tell Riff was acting differently, they could see the anger and anticipation bubbling at the surface.

After thinking about it, Riff decided he needed a gun. He didn't feel confident in himself knowing Tony wouldn't be there for him. He had always fought side by side with Tony, sperm to worm. But now it felt like he was alone, he was left alone to lead the Jets to prosper but he felt as though he was doing the exact opposite. Even having Ice at his side to cool him down at times of anger didn't help, it just wasn't quite the same. He felt like he was a little boy all over again, scared and alone with no one to turn to. There was his dad but he wouldn't dare go near him, not when he could smell the booze from across the room. Not for anything.

As he got older, he became less afraid of his father, but he knew the older man's habits. He was strong like a bull and the gold rings on his fingers could cut up your face like a diamond. The Irish man had nothing better to do than make those around fear him. Riff slowly outgrew his scare tactics, outgrew the man who was supposed to care for him. Though sometimes, he could still remember the way the butt of a cigarette felt on his skin, being pressed down and wouldn't be released until the boy stopped crying.

Riff had found someone with a gun, and after saving money on the side, he was confident to say he would buy the gun for any amount. For security, he brought along Ice, Action, Snowboy, and Tiger. Riff had met the man who was selling the gun, he was an old friend of his father's named Sean. This didn't mean he could trust him by any means but at least there was some familiarity, some boost of confidence.

Why did he need confidence? Because he had never bought or been in contact with a gun before. He understood the basic premise of a gun, as anyone does, but he didn't know the nitty-gritty. In short, he had to fake it until he made it.

The five boys entered the old pub, it being closed on Tuesdays gave them privacy for the exchange. There was no one inside except for Sean and a black man Riff had never seen before. Sean was standing behind the bar counter and the other was sitting on a barstool, caressing the gun on the table.

"You're late," Sean said with a deep and gravelly voice

Riff shrugged, "Well, you know how it is," he said, looking back to make sure the boys were behind him.

Riff took the seat next to the African American casually, Action deciding to sit next to him while the other three stood. One rule for the Jets? Nobody goes anywhere alone.

"I thought you told him to come alone," the dark man grumbled to Sean

"Don't mind em," Riff insisted

The countertop was dirty, spilled beer and wet glasses littered the table. There was a glass ashtray that sat between the two men and in Sean's hand was an almost finished cigarette. Sean had his arms outstretched on the counter, leaning over slightly and observing Riff intensely. To calm his nerves, Riff chewed on a toothpick.

"You ever fired a gun before?" the black man asked Riff

Riff nodded, "Sure, 'course I have."

"What kind?"

"Colt. Revolver," he answered, his Manhattan accent pulling through

"Is that so? What'd it shoot?" the man asked before inhaling on his cigarette

In an instant, Action stood and leaned on Riff, "bullets," he answered.

To dismiss him, Riff shot back quickly, "32's."

"Colt shoots 22's" Action sat back down and Tiger shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

Riff leaned to the side and pulled out a wad of dollars from his pocket, tossing it on the countertop, "We got money."

"I don't sell heaters to unscrubbed boys." Sean criticized, his eyes narrowing

Riff sighed, "These guys... the ones we're rumblin' with... they're brinin' heat."

"Cause they think we're bringing heat," Ice piped in

"So, we need to bring heat so they know we ain't defenseless. And vice versa."

As the black man inhaled on his dying cigarette once more, Ice moved in closer. The man quickly pressed his hand on Ice's chest to push him back, not liking the closeness. He chuckled, "Mutually assured destruction."

"I don't know what that is," Riff said honestly, though he had a good idea.

The boys were getting antsy, not comfortable with the tension in the room. Tiger looked uneasy and Ice kept a cold glare on Sean.

The black man gestured to the gun on the counter, "That's a Smith and Wesson, Model 10. Classic of its kind." he said, caressing the gun like it was a baby.

Riff and Sean held each other in a death stare, "If you want it, take it why don't ya?" he taunted

Riff hesitated for a moment before quickly moving to grab the gun, being beaten to it by Sean. The bar owner picked up the gun, pointing it at Riff. While Riff kept his composure and sat staring at Sean, the other boys moved quickly. Action moved to the black man but he shoved him down to the floor before becoming face to face with Ice. Tiger and Snowboy stay close but don't move, watching Action be thrown onto the ground.

Ice and the man broke their gaze and he turned around to stand beside Riff, "Fires trey eights. Makes quite a hole for a little gun."

Sean kept the gun pointed at Riff, "It's loaded," he said with a smirk. "You don't gotta cock it, even. You just squeeze the trigger and-"

Before the Irish man could finish, Riff rose from his seat, pressing his forehead against the barrel of the gun. He flipped the toothpick in his mouth to the other side and gave a small undetectable smirk.

"You might as well," he said cooly, not looking away

Sean scoffed and smiled, though it wasn't a smile of joy. "You remind me of your dad," he said, his Irish accent coming out hard in the word "dad". He hesitated for a moment before nodding and pulling the gun away from Riff, setting it on the counter. And just like that, Riff offered the wad of money once more.

"Leave it on the bar."

[venustkiller]

|freeze your brain| riff

chapter nine || are you serious?

words: 2060

triggers: heartache

previous || next

Monday, August 18, 1951

I'm not sure what time it was, I couldn't see the clock and I couldn't be bothered to get up and check. I was too comfy, too warm to give a damn. Why have any worries when you're cuddled and bundled in soft silk sheets and fluffy blankets?

I didn't have to look to know Riff was gone, I could feel it; I expected it. When you're a Jet, it's hard to sit still, there's just too many things happening in the world. When you're a Jet, the world doesn't stop for you; you're nothing, why should anything stop for you? And so, if I have learned anything by spending time with Riff and the Jets, it's that if you want something, you have to do whatever it takes to get it.

I don't know how long I laid in bed, I knew it was long enough for Melissa to barge into my room. I don't know what I would do without her, really. She has always been there for me, thick and thin, and only questions me occasionally. I truly owe her for all my success and happiness.

When I had gotten out of bed and to the bathroom to take a shower, I couldn't help but notice myself in the mirror; more so my skin. There wasn't anything wrong, it was actually nice, seeing the little hickeys and bite marks Riff left for me. I looked at myself, grazing my fingertips over a bite mark on my collarbone. I can't help but smile at it. It proves that last night did happen, that Riff came to my window last night. I chuckled to myself, I have to make a note to put curtains on my window.

The day flew by me in a breeze, my thoughts being consumed by the infamous gang leader. Maybe if Krupke and Schrank gave him a chance, they could see there's more to him than just a street rat, a no-good thief, and troublemaker. I had a five-hour shift at Doc's today, there was still no sign of Tony. Valentina said she talked to him the other day but he didn't stay for long. I was worried for him, I wasn't sure what was going on but I did see him and a Puerto Rican get in a fight at the mixer.

Maybe that's what it's about?

I had finally finished my shift and my legs hurt so bad. Valentina could obviously tell something was up; I couldn't hide my smiles from her. She didn't talk about him much thankfully, and I silently thanked her. But even as I closed up the shop and made my way back home, I couldn't get my mind to drift away from Riff. Everything about him was magnetic; his muscles, playful personality, and the way I can never get tired of his accent. I just wish he didn't fight with the Puerto Ricans, it's not okay. They just want to make a life for themselves, seize the day and meet new opportunities.

What's so wrong with that?

The sun was slowly beginning to set, illuminating the sky in a lovely array of colors mixing and mashing together. It wasn't very cloudy, so I got a full view of the evening's sunset. I smiled and took in the breeze as it pressed against my body, and I listened to the city sounds of cars and people rustling their way to get home as soon as possible. But tonight I decided to take a longer way home, enjoying the evening.

Was I also doing this in hopes to see Riff? Maybe.

And somehow my prayers were answered; just as I began to turn a corner, Riff's tall and skinny frame emerged from the shadows, spooking me.

"Jesus, Riff! You scared me," I exclaimed with a smile, instantly reaching for his hand.

"Sorry doll," he apologized, taking my hand in his and holding it gently as if he wasn't holding my hand at all.

"It's okay. So I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to dinner sometime? Or we could do something else," I pondered. For me, it didn't matter what we would do as long as we did it together. For some reason, he made everything better in a strange sense. He made things feel more alive and exciting, the world felt so vibrant when I was around him.

He walked next to me, our height difference causing him to shadow my body from the sun. He seemed tired, he had a bit of sweat on his forehead that was starting to dissipate. I wondered what he had been doing today, maybe working on the slum clearance? His clothes were a bit dirty but that's almost a constant for Riff.

"About that," he started hesitantly. Instead of looking at me, he kept his eyes forward on the pavement in front of us.

Did he not want to spend time with me?

"What is it?" I ask, trying to simmer down the worries in the back of my brain. I'm sure it wasn't very serious, it could just be that he's busy or something happened to him.

"We need to stop seein' each other," he said bluntly

I stopped in my tracks, "Wait, what?"

He stopped walking as well, turning to me, "I don't want to see you anymore," he said, pulling his hand out of my grasp, my arm falling to my side.

It felt like my world was flipped upside down, I thought everything was going great. It was so unlike him, the usual gang leader always had a cocky smirk or playful tone in his voice but there was none of that here. I racked my brain, trying to pick up the pieces and figure out what was wrong. I tried to examine his face for clues but he was expressionless; a blank canvas that the artist threw away, tossed aside for not a splatter of paint to be found.

"Is this about last night? Because that was the best night of my-" he cut me off

"No, just go home Nell. I'm no good for you, do as your sister says and stay away," he growled, beginning to turn around and walk away from me.

"Wait, Riff, that- that's not true, you-" he cut me off once more, and at this point, I was getting very tired of it.

"I am damaged!" he bellowed, emotion beginning to take form on his face. I was taken aback; he had never yelled at me before, and I feel bad for anyone he has yelled at in the past.

I don't understand...

Was this all it was for him? Just a game to take my virginity from me and get some cleanup after a fight? Melissa and Val were right, this boy is nothing but trouble. It was what attracted me to him in the first place and it'll be the thing to repel me now.

I quickly chased after him, "Goddamnit Riff, don't be such a pussy and tell me what's wrong!" I shout, finally losing my temper.

Who does he think he is?

He stopped walking and turned to me, getting down and in my face, "You think you're so tough but here's the thing sweetheart, you're not. You're just an insecure little girl who's afraid to face the fact that you killed your own parents. Don't kid yourself," he fumed, pulling back. He spoke words of venom and it made my stomach churn; I thought I was going to be sick.

By this point I had tears welling in my eyes, pouring onto my cheeks, "Fuck you," I seethed weakly, my voice cracking in every direction. He pulled away from me and turned, not bothering to say anything before making his grand exit.

Maybe it was the trick of the light or the tears in my eyes, but if I paid more attention, maybe I would've seen the flash of hurt on his face; the look of regret and sadness submerging him.

But what did I care? He broke my heart. I felt like I couldn't breathe, that I was suffocating and there wasn't a bit of oxygen to be found. I wrapped my arms around my sides, hugging myself as I sobbed hysterically. I felt like screaming but when I tried, no sound came of it. My voice had been stolen from me; stolen by him. I should have been more careful, I shouldn't have let him in.

What is wrong with me?

I felt my knees go weak, dropping me down to the hard pavement. I didn't care if anyone saw me, what did it matter? My heart just shattered in two, the broken pieces of my glass heart stabbing me in all directions. I couldn't help but think of the what-if and what could have been.

My mind races to last night; I feel taken advantage of, so violated. I remember the smiles on his face, were they fake? At this point, I don't know what's true, what reality really looks like. But at least I know now that the spark I felt that night wasn't real at all, just a figment of my imagination; static.

—

Early in the morning, before the sun had met the sky, Riff left Nell's apartment, slipping out the window to not be seen by her older sister. He made sure to not wake her up as he untangled himself from her gentle grasp, feeling a pang at his heart, missing her warmth. He was making his way back to the docks, the Jet's most popular place to hang out. He didn't have anything planned for them today, to just let them run wild and do as they please. Tomorrow was the rumble, and he hadn't seen much of Tony. He was worried that Tony wouldn't show up at all, making Riff a fool of himself. The westside belonged to the Jets and the Peurto Ricans were taking it away from him; he knew he would have to do anything to protect it, to keep the Jets from falling apart.

He walked down the streets of the westside, ignoring the glares and disgusted looks targeted at him. He had a hand in his pocket and a cigarette in the other, smoking vicariously. By the time he had reached the docks, he met the butt of the cigarette, flicking it onto the ground with his fingers. In the distance, he would see the Jets, but they didn't seem normal. Something must have happened while he was gone, they were acting strange.

"Jets!" he called as he approached the group, a small smile creeping on his lips. They all turned to him, some smiling faintly and the others holding an expression he couldn't quite detect. There wasn't a boy out of place, even Anybodys was there, getting along with Baby John. "Glad to see you're all in one piece," he joked, his accent pulling through.

"Riff, we need to talk," Ice urged, weaving his way through the group and walking towards Riff.

Riff quirked a brow, a hand going to his hip, "What's going on, buddy boy?"

"We've been thinking," Ice started, seeming a little uneasy, not sure how Riff would take the news, "You've been awful distracted lately, and we need you to have a clear head for the rumble," he continued

"Get to the point, Ice," Riff commanded, having a feeling of what his right-hand man was getting at.

"You need to stop seein' her," Ice said

Riff looked taken aback, he knew they were talking about Nell, there was no one else.

"I am plenty concentrated on the rumble, I-"

"But that's not true because you were supposed to come back last night and you didn't!" Action piped up, all eyes turning to him.

"We're going to war tomorrow, we need our leader focused. This is all we have left, what are the Jets with no territory?" Tiger said softly, not wanting to anger Riff

Riff looked out to the Jets, seeing their expressions. They weren't angry by any means; they were scared. He sighed, bringing his arm up and scratching the nape of his neck.

"Alright, I'll talk to her. Let's practice your right hook, huh Baby John?" Riff proposed, the young boy nodding in agreement.

[venustkiller]

|freeze your brain| riff

chapter eight || dreadful etiquette

words: 2357

triggers: somewhat spicy text

previous || next

Sunday, August 17, 1951

I'm so tired...

I didn't get home until four in the morning, and man was Melissa mad. As I walked home from Doc's after my five-hour shift, I thought about our conversation last night. I remember trying to quietly unlock the door, and as soon as I entered the apartment, I saw Melissa sitting in a chair in the kitchen waiting for me. Her arms crossed below her chest angrily and it looked like she hadn't slept. It wasn't until I shut the door that she began to scream.

"Where the hell have you been?" she yelled, rising to her feet

I pressed my back against the door, "I'm sorry," I apologized softly

"Where have you been, Nell? Answer me!" she pressed, beginning to walk towards me, her arms coming undone and hanging at her sides.

"I'm sorry, after my shift I went to hang out with Riff and his friends, I didn't think I'd be out for so long... I'm sorry," I said, continuing to keep myself against the wall, scared to move and make her mad.

"You were hanging out with the Jets?" she asked in a tone that didn't even sound surprised.

At this point, I wouldn't be surprised either. I was seeing a lot of Riff and the Jets, including the incident with Johnny that had nothing to do with Riff. I wasn't even sure what Riff and I were; this wasn't typical courtship. I'm not looking to marry for a while and I don't even think Riff would want to, let alone have the money to do it. He was so elusive and aloof, and yet at the same time flamboyant and I didn't understand it. I want to talk to him about it but I don't know how.

She sighed, walking over to me and engulfing me in a hug. I hugged her back instantly, "You worried me sick, goddamn you," she cried, pressing her cheek on my shoulder.

I guess I didn't realize the effect my being with Riff had on those around me, "I'm sorry," I whispered. That was honestly all I could say because I was sorry. I had fun but at the cost of making Melissa go mad with fear.

"It's okay... I'm just not used to this," she admitted, pulling back and wiping the tears from her eyes

"I'll try to be more thoughtful of you, okay?" I said, grabbing her hand. To that, she nodded her head and smiled.

I had finally arrived home and once I did, I made a beeline for the kitchen, grabbing myself a ripe, red apple. On the counter was a note from Melissa, "Nell, Schrank is treating me to dinner tonight, I'll be home around seven."

Schrank is treating me to dinner? Melissa, don't tell me you have the hots for the lieutenant...

I chuckled to myself and shook my head before taking a bite of my apple, walking towards my bedroom.

I need this damn bra off of me

I walked into my room, not bothering to turn the light on since the streetlights outside illuminate my room perfectly. I put the apple on top of my dresser and begin to take off my clothes, starting by slipping off my shoes and working on my pants next. I had worn jeans and a t-shirt like I usually do, but jeans get uncomfortable after a while and all I want to do is get in my soft nightgown. I enjoyed the privacy of my room, it was nice and quiet and my window was so high and faced away from the street so I didn't need to worry about people looking at me while I changed.

Unfortunately, tonight was not the case. I didn't even notice him until after I had unclasped my bra, letting my breasts fall. It was when I turned to grab my nightgown that I saw him sitting outside my window, watching. I screamed, racing to my bed that was next to me and grabbing a blanket, holding it in front of me to hide my body. Riff opened the window and entered with a cheeky smirk on his face.

"Riff! What are you doing here?" I shout. I felt breathless, a man has never seen me like this before and especially not a man I had feelings for. I was hoping he would eventually see my body on my terms but it looked like he had other plans.

He put his hands up in defense, "Dreadful etiquette, I know, but I came for your help but after watching you..." he trailed, stalking towards me like I am his prey.

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat to no avail and I tried to catch my breath that I had suddenly lost. I held the fluffy blue blanket to my chest tightly, the fabric coiled around my fingers. I stared into his eyes as he approached me, never breaking the glance. And neither did he.

"...I can't remember what it is I needed help with," he said honestly. He had gotten a few feet away from me and it wasn't until now that I saw his head was bleeding. His lip was cut and he had an open wound slightly above his right eyebrow; it was fresh.

I put my hand out to stop him from getting any closer, "Riff, your head!" I exclaimed. The tension that was in the air had completely disappeared and all my emotions were replaced with concern and worry. My eyebrows furrowed and I brought my hand up to his face to try and get a better look at the damage. "Who did this?"

"Just some Sharks, you should see what I did to them," he chuckled with a smirk, reminiscing.

I rolled my eyes, "Go sit," I said, pointing to the bed. He flashed me a small smile and did as he was told. And as he did I scrambled to my dresser to put on my nightgown. I felt his eyes loom over me from behind and examine my body as I let the blanket fall to the floor. I'd tell him to turn around but he would never listen to me. I lifted my arms up and let the cozy dress slide onto my body, letting out a soft moan in comfort. I raked my fingers through my hair a few times before turning my attention back to the boy on my bed. 

He sat on the bed patiently, leaning back and resting on his forearms and elbows. He had a smirk plastered on his face and he acted like he wasn't in any pain at all. I walked over to my bedside table and switched on a lamp. I rolled my eyes at him and gestured out of the room. "I'm gonna get supplies," I say before leaving the room, watching him nod his head in an "okay". I walked to the bathroom Melissa and I shared and opened our medicine cabinet, grabbing the rubbing alcohol and a few bandages. I then go to the hall closet and pull out a small washcloth before returning to my bedroom.

When I came back in, I noticed he was no longer on my bed. Instead, he was standing in front of my dresser, my apple in his hand, his mouth chewing, and he was staring at the photos of me, Melissa, and our parents.

"These ya folks?" he asked after swallowing the apple in his mouth.

I walked over to him and took the apple from his hand, "Yeah," I answered before taking a bite of the apple. He gave me a frown at the fact I took the fruit from him but it was soon replaced by a playful smile. I gave him one in return, "Now sit, I need to clean you up," I ordered, pointing to the bed once more.

He smirked and let out a huff, saluting me, "Yes ma'am," he said, walking to my bed and sitting down on the edge. I placed the items on the bedside table next to me and I stood between his two legs. I leaned down a bit and gestured for him to lean in, which he did without hesitation.

I began to tend to his forehead first, soaking a bit of the cloth in alcohol before dabbing his skin. He didn't make any facial reactions but in the corner of my eye, I could see his hand tense up in his lap. He wasn't terribly wounded but he is very likely to get an infection. Thankfully, it's not to the point he needs stitches.

"You need to stop fighting with the Sharks."

"You sure are funny, doll," he laughed

"I'm serious Riff! What if Johnny or Anybodys gets hurt? What about Ice, Tiger, Diesel, Action, and-" I stopped, realizing how worked up I had just gotten myself.

He looked up at me, "And?" he asked with a quirked brow

"...you..." I say, avoiding his eyes and pulling back, deciding I was done cleaning his forehead.

I turned the rag so I would be using a new, clean side. I poured just a little alcohol onto it and leaned in, standing up fully so I was now looking down at Riff, and he was looking up at me. I used my left hand to sturdy his face, cupping his cheek and jaw. I tried to keep my gaze on his lips, but I could feel his bright eyes on me. I continued to clean his bottom lip until I felt his hand latch onto my wrist, making me jump in my seat. I looked over to the rest of his face, seeing a foreign expression on his face. It's one I have never seen before. It seemed thoughtful, caring, needing, but also in a way like he was angry that I wouldn't look in his eyes, and that he was frustrated by the situation or something else.

As he searched my face his grip on my wrist tightened, but it didn't hurt. I wasn't exactly sure what he wanted or what I wanted for that matter. I felt myself losing my breath, my pulse thumping against my throat. His eyes trickled to my lips and I felt myself begin to bite my bottom lip. Our eyes met once more and it was like telepathy. In an instant, I felt his lips on mine and mine on his. chapped and bloody met soft once more and I felt that spark once again. He quickly brought one hand to cup my face and he brought the other to my waist. I let myself drop the cloth and wrap my arms around him, embracing his warmth. I let a hand play with his hair, slightly tugging. We kissed chastely, and I felt his hot breath on me. He leaned back a bit and brought me with him, scooting back and letting me crawl up on the bed, straddling him.

What followed after was a blending of bodies that turned quiet breaths into gentle moans; hands that went from stroking to grasping at skin, and soft words of love to frantic gasps of each other's names. Afterward, we lay in my bed together, undressed and just enjoying one another. We were tangled in my silk sheets; it was nice for when it was warm because the silk can't hold heat very well. I rested my head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around me, rubbing the pad of his thumb on my arm.

I'm not sure how long we laid there in silence; for all I know, we could've been there for an hour. For however long, I enjoyed every second. hearing him catch his breath, feeling his heart pounding from his chest, and smelling the cheap cologne that stuck to his skin.

Best night of my life.

Eventually, the broad-shouldered gang leader broke the silence, “Why did you avoid telling me your name?” he asked softly and sincerely.

I sighed, I knew I would have to tell him at some point, “When I was thirteen, I was being stupid and thought I could wake up early and make my family breakfast. But I burned some toast and a towel caught an open flame… I had accidentally set the house on fire… and mom and dad never made it out in time,” I started, letting the memories I wish to forget flood back in.

“My parents always called me by my full name, Eleanor. I can’t hear that name and not think about them, how I should have been the one to die in the fire… not them,” I spoke softly, letting a tear slip from my eye, falling onto Riff’s chest.

Before I knew what was going on, he pulled me closer to him and engulfed me in a loving hug, “Don’t say that; this is how the world is. It throws curveballs but you made it this far, don’t be thinkin’ you don’t deserve it,” he spoke softly. It sounded like he was speaking from experience; it made me curious.

“Where're your parents?” I asked, letting my fingers drift around his chest, rubbing his skin softly.

He loosened his grip on me, “My ma died before I could know ‘er, dad was a no-good drunk,” he responded. I looked up at him. I figured he had a bad upbringing but I didn't know it was like that.

“I’m sorry…” I said softly

He shook his head, “Don’t be, I got my Jets and Tony,” he shrugged simply, seeming to prefer the outcome he had received. We locked eyes once more and he leaned down, kissing my lips softly. I welcomed his embrace happily, rubbing my hand on his torso.

We continued to lay together in my bed, bathing in each other’s warmth and joy. We talked about the little things and laughed together before eventually falling asleep. And as I lay in bed, I wondered why I couldn’t have met him sooner. Why everybody feared him and said he was a monster.

Because to me, he's wonderful.

[venustkiller]

I love the new chapter of freeze your brain! I can't wait to see where it goes :))

thank you!!! my writing is far from perfect and i still struggle but i appreciate this a lot! i can’t promise when you will see a new chapter but it should be soon! <3

[venustkiller]

|freeze your brain| riff

chapter seven || here come the jets

words: 2700

triggers: transphobia

previous || next

Saturday, August 16, 1951

The underground train had eventually stopped, and when we stepped out we saw many people in nice outfits. The men all looked dapper in their suits and the women were glammed in a business casual way; Riff looked very different from them. By looks alone, I could tell we were on the north side of Manhattan. But I didn't need looks, all I needed was to see the smug posture and glare Riff gave to anyone who looked at him. We weaved our way through the crowd and made our way out of the subway station. The sun was still up and people were rushing by; I looked down at my watch and saw it was six-thirty.

They must be rushing home from work.

Riff held my hand as we walked down the streets of Manhattan, I had to assume he was leading us back to the west side. I walked close to him, letting my hand be encased in his, enjoying the warmth our palms created. We talked and laughed as we continued our journey, and every so often he would let out this cackle that, for some reason, was oddly comforting to hear. We were getting close to home, I could tell by the quality of the air. It was getting thicker, and I could see dust particles floating around, carried by the wind from the demolition sites.

As we walked, Riff swung our arms back and forth in a childlike manner, and I couldn't deny how adorable it was. It was interesting to see this gang leader who was feared and hated by everyone to just be a kid from New York with no place of his own. He had this small glint in his eyes now and then; at first, I wasn't sure what it was but after a while, I've realized that it is fact, hope.

The sun was slowly beginning to set, casting a shadow on us as we walked away from the warm ball in the sky. We had reached a comfortable silence as we walked, that was until Riff decided he was tired of silence.

"So I've been thinkin," he said abruptly, bringing me to look up at him, my bangs hitting my eyelashes

"About what?" I ask, giving him my full attention, twitching my head so the bangs would get off my eyes.

"Your name seems awfully short. Must be a nickname a'sorts, right?" he asked back, turning to look back at me with a classic mischievous smirk of his, one that never seemed to get old.

I knew the conversation was bound to arise, I just wasn't expecting it to come so soon.

"What brought you to that conclusion, huh?" I ask playfully. It was pretty obvious that Nell was a nickname.

He chuckled and playfully nudged me, "Okay wise-ass is that how it's gonna be?" he asks

I shrug and look away, a smug grin on my face, "Maybe"

He silently pouted, once again he wasn't given an answer he liked and the king of New York was not used to it. As my saving grace, he dropped the topic and we continued to walk in comfortable silence. He led us to the docks on the seaboard and there, lounging on boulders of cement and ripped up couches were the Jets. They hadn't noticed our arrival, too focused on something. As we got closer, I could see they were somewhat surrounding Anybodys, and I saw Johnny sitting uncomfortably on the ground.

"...dickless wonder," A-rab said, earning a few snickers from the other Jets.

"Leave 'er be," Balkan turned to A-rab, he didn't seem to like this one bit

"Get stuffed, why don't ya?" Anybodys retorted

"Go back to the zoo, why don't ya?"

"Go suck on your sister's titty, why don't ya? You guinea hyena," now that earned some "ooh's" from the other boys, smacking A-rab's arm playfully. Riff and I were now close to the group, and the surrounding Jets began to get quiet after seeing their leader approach.

"Jesus, she looks like some kinda biological disaster, but I pantsed her once and under oath, she's a girl!" A-rab said to Tiger, not even bothering to look at Anybodys

"Hey!" I shouted, letting go of Riff's hand and pushing myself in between two Jets, walking over to A-rab, "that's enough, leave him alone!" I demanded, staring down at the dark-haired boy on the couch. He rose and looked at me intimidatingly, man was he pissed.

He crossed his arms, "Yeah? Why's that huh?" he asked

"Because I fucking said so," I growled, my hands slowly forming into fists at my sides. This guy was pissing me off, I don't care if he's a Jet or a friend of Riff's.

"Someone get this chick outta my face before-"

"You might not wanna finish that, buddy-boy," Riff commanded in a daring tone. With the Jets, he was different. What he said went and if you didn't listen, you were to pay. He was given respect by all and the very ground shook as he walked. If there's one thing I learned about the Jets, it is that they are a pack of lions. They hunt and surround their kill and if you don't listen to the king, well you better hope you taste good.

We all looked up at him; he was leaning against a rusty, broken-down truck and he had lit a cigarette and put it in his mouth, inhaling slowly.

He breathed out and stood up, walking towards us. Any Jets that were in his way moved and they watched intently, they seemed just as unsure as I did. He approached the three of us, passing me and walking to Anybodys. I turned to watch their interaction; Anybodys looked scared. Riff sized him up and down, holding the small cigarette between his index and middle finger, and I could tell that Riff had never actually given him a chance, let alone a glance. There was some sort of wordless exchange between the two and after a few more quiet seconds, Riff slightly nodded.

"You're not a Jet, but you can stay; earn your keep," he said before backing off and turning to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

Well, it was better than nothing. If I could decide, I'd make him a Jet. but I can't, so this will have to do.

Anybodys looked at me and smiled, probably the biggest smile of his life, and it was honestly adorable. He mouthed a "thank you" to me and I mouthed back "you're welcome". A-rab did not look happy in the slightest and glared at me, and to that, I gave a cheeky grin before giving my attention back to Riff. I wrapped an arm around his waist and looked up at him, smiling thankfully. He looked down at me and gave me a classic smirk before letting his eyes flicker between me and my lips. I gave him a small nod of approval and he ducked down, kissing my lips gently; chapped against smooth. I tasted the nicotine on his tongue, it was bitter. He let go of the kiss and pulled back, making me aware that we had an audience.

"Jets!" Riff called, earning attention from the boys surrounding us

"Let's say we have fun tonight, huh?" he asked, turning his head to see how the others thought about that. They all smiled and nodded their heads. As I got a better view of the gang, I realized that they didn't look so scary after all. They were either my age or older, and they were all just dirty and grimy. There was nothing aside from their personality to display they were any harm; if you ignore the scars littered on their bodies.

"Spill it, crazy cat. Whatcha thinkin?" a guy asked who had begun to toss and flick a coin, earning a satisfying sound whenever he caught it.

"I'm thinkin," he said before drawing in from his cigarette, "We go to the zoo."

"Baby John just picked up a delivery today too," another guy noted, earning a smirk from Riff. He had greasy black hair that was combed to the side of his forehead; he wasn't super tall, around the same height as me.

"Well then, whaddya say buddy boy, you in?" Riff asked Johnny who had removed himself from the gravel.

He smiled, "I'm down."

At first, I wasn't sure what all Riff had in store for us. A guy who introduced himself with the name Tiger had brought out some bottles of warm, cheap beer. And a boy who I heard is named Action began to light blunts, passing them around. There were only two to go around, so we all passed them in a circle. I had never done weed or any kind of drug before, so I wasn't sure what to do. I watched Riff take the blunt in his hands and bring it to his lips. He breathed in and held his breath for a moment before releasing it, and I watched as the cloudy smoke came out of his mouth. He turned to me and handed it to me. I grabbed it gently and stared at it; not knowing what to do, I turned to Riff and looked at him pleadingly.

He smiled and let out a quiet laugh, "Bring it to your mouth, suck in, hold it in your throat, not your mouth, and wait. Then when you're ready, breathe out and let it go," he explained. I appreciated it, he said it in such a way that I didn't feel embarrassed and his tone didn't feel condescending in any way. I nodded my head and began to do as he instructed. I brought it to my lips and began to suck, but the moment I did, I regretted it. It was hot, it hurt, and I began a coughing fit, earning laughs from some boys who noticed. Riff let out a laugh himself.

"Try again," he encouraged

If Johnny can do it, so can I. don't be a pussy, Nell!

I repeated the steps, and this time I didn't take such a deep breath. I welcomed the smoke into my lungs and let it sit. It was still hot but it didn't hurt as much, and as much as I wanted to cough, I didn't let myself. I waited a moment before letting go, breathing out and letting myself cough as I passed the blunt to the person next to me.

After we finished the blunts and beer, we began our adventure to the zoo. If I had the little angel on my shoulder right now, he would tell me that this is a bad idea and I should just say goodnight to Riff and go home. But after taking two hits my angel has decided he's going on sabbatical.

The thirteen of us walked along the streets, not a civilian in sight. By now the sun had completely set and everyone was off the streets, sitting in their warm and cozy homes with their families. Riff led the way, the rest of the boys goofing around as we walked towards the city zoo. Riff and I walked side by side, holding my hand in a tender way that made me feel safe. Most women in the city should never feel safe at night, but when you're dating the leader of the Jets, you start to have a new perspective.

Were Riff and I even dating? What exactly is our relationship? Has today been considered a date or is it just testing the waters to see if I'm tough enough?

Before I could get too wrapped up in my thoughts, someone tapped me on the shoulder.

I turned to see Anybodys, "Uh Riff I'll be right back," I smiled at him before letting go of his hand, letting the other boys walk by so Anybodys and I could be in the back.

"Everything okay?" I asked, turning to the curly-haired boy

"I just wanted to say thanks, not a lot of people would go out of their way for me so thank you," he said tenderly. He looked so unsure of himself, his shoulders were hunched over so his chest went further into his body, most likely to try and hide his boobs.

"I'm not most people, don't sweat it!" I smiled, giving him a side hug

"Yeah, most people wouldn't stick around to fight three PRs in my defense," Johnny said, appearing next to Anybodys.

He looked shocked, "You did that?" he asked me

I shook my head, "Well I didn't really fight them, I-"

"I don't know, that right hook had some serious power to it," Johnny chuckled

I was glad to see that Johnny was warming up to me, but it might have just been the weed settling into his system. Either way, he also made conversation with Anybodys, and that's always a good thing when trying to fit in.

We had finally arrived at the zoo around ten, and I know for a fact that they had closed many hours ago so we didn't need to worry about people. We walked over to the front gate, and I wasn't sure how we were going to get in.

"Alright Diesel, you're up," Riff announced

I saw a guy who had very large muscles, he was one of the biggest guys in the group, acting as the backup muscle if needed. I noticed him carrying a rope on the way here and I guess this is what it's for. He got next to the brick wall and jumped, holding onto the top of the wall. He struggled, but surely enough, he pulled himself up the wall. Once he did, he took the rope and tied it to the top of the gate, afterward throwing the rest of the rope back towards us.

"Alright you guys are good to go," he said, dusting off his hands before disappearing. One by one, the boys began to scale the wall, planting their feet on the wall and using the rope to climb. It was smart on their part, only a few of them were six feet tall or higher. This was a solution with no property damage involved. Finally, it was just me and Riff.

I looked to him and he squeezed my hand gently, "You got this," he said

He let go of my hand and began to climb the wall with ease just like the others had done. Instead of jumping down, he waited at the top for me. I stared down at the wall, jesus was it high. I took a deep breath and shook my arms out before beginning to climb slowly. I let my arms carry me, my legs being the main support. My muscles felt tense and strained but I kept going and eventually reached the top.

Remind me why I'm doing this?

"There she is," Riff smiled

I smiled back to him, planting my feet on the top of the weathered brick, "You act like this shit is easy," I breathed with a laugh

He smirked, "That's cuz it is, doll," he teased

I might've gotten lost in his eyes for a little too long, or maybe it was just the weed, but I felt myself trip on the weathered wall, feeling the edge of the brick under the sole of my shoe. I gasped, flailing my arms to try and give myself balance to no avail.

Shit, shit, shit!

I closed my eyes, accepting my fate, and just when I was ready to hit the ground, but the crushing feeling never came. Instead, I felt a bolt of lightning, a spark of electricity spreading through my veins and reaching every part of my body, starting at my hand. When I opened my eyes, I saw Riff, his hand in mine and he seemed surprised, shocked even. His face read concern and fear but his eyes told a different story. And it was in that moment that I wondered if he had felt it too.

[venustkiller]

attention my lovelies!!

thank you to all who have encouraged me and have taken the time to read “freeze your brain”. after some thought, i will be going through the book today and making some major edits to the story, such as name change, time placement, and more! by the time i’m done with the story, it will look different than how it originally did.

i will post updates and tag those who would like to be tagged when i release revised versions of “freeze your brain” chapters.

thank you!

[venustkiller]

It’s me. I’m bitches.

[venustkiller]

West Side Story Fans: Your Attention Please

Since the new West Side Story come out, especially since it's come out on Disney+, there's been an increase of new WSS fans. And normally that would be good, except that most of these new fans are very racist, most of them without even realizing it. Everyone is just focusing on Jets, Jets, Jets, and trying to justify their bad actions towards the Sharks, and thinking 'oh, you know, they've been told they're gonna be nothing all their lives, so that automatically makes them better people'. No. Just, no. The Jets were transphobic for most of the movie, racist for all of it, and did a bunch of other things that you absolutely cannot justify by saying that people told them they would be nothing. Yes, the Sharks also did bad things, but they weren't the ones who started it. They moved to America because they genuinely thought they would have a better life. And while that's partially true for physical things, they certainly did not expect to be tormented by white people just for the color of their skin and their accents. The Sharks did bad things because they were trying to defend themselves, while the Jets did bad things because they were racist and didn't have any other outlet.

Y'all can try and justify the Jets' actions with anything you want, but you can't just ignore that they were shitty to the Sharks and Puerto Ricans in general.

How many Jets can you name? Alright, and now how many Sharks can you name?

My point exactly.

Thank you for your time.

@sxrrynotsxrry

[venustkiller]

Kudos to fanfiction writers for writing about all the trauma and emotional and mental turmoil that the original content creators dont acknowledge when putting characters through hell

[venustkiller]

THIS^^^ (obviously i’m in love with mike faist and riff from west side story since i’m writing literal fanficiton about this man) BUT that DOES NOT mean riff and the jets actions and word choices are okay. i love riff as a character excluding his blatant racism; i focus inwards on his personality and complex character arc, seeing how he really is just a lost little boy at heart. given this, I DO NOT agree with anything the jets and riff has done in the musical/movie.

liking a character and agreeing with a character are also two VERY different things.

thanks @drunk-but-not-with-liquor for bringing this up^^

ok lets make one thing clear

the jets are assholes. they are absolute racist assholes and we need to start  acknowledging that?!? liking the actors and liking the characters are two VERY different things. OH and the fact that they assaulted anita for no good reason?!? see, coming from someone who loves ben cook more then everything ever, i despise mouthpiece. you can like the actor all you want i do not care, just please acknowledge the character is INSANELY flawed.