veritemojo

[veritemojo]

you make my heart shake, bend & brake, andreil one shot

on ao3 | heyyyy I hope you enjoy this little snipit of something I've written. It's my first aftg piece so if you have some feedback that would be cool, but only kind and constructive advice allowed 'round these parts. thank you for reading, I hope you have a great day full of wins.

let's light ourselves up!

The lights pulsed, swimming colours of pink's and blue's, and sharp flashes of green's and purple's punctuated the beat. Andrew leant on his arms, hooked over the rail of the balcony, and looked down upon the dance floor. Glitter shimmered on the skin of the party goers, glinting and magic under the neon lights. And Neil was no exception. He was so easy to spot, it was almost funny. How a man who had tried so hard to blend in, had ever managed to, was beyond Andrew.

His arms were up straight above his head, swaying to the melody, curling and twisting with the music. Effervescent glitter shone on his cheekbones, his eyelids, his forearms. A few flecks had been dabbed on his lips. If his arms lifted high enough you could see some glitter on his abdomen. Sweat beaded on his brow and his upper lip, his neck glistening with it. Andrew wanted to lick it, to taste the salty tang of his warm skin.

His head was lulling back, eyes fluttering closed in a type of euphoria. Neil wasn't a drinker, and he wasn't one for any other type of intoxication. Andrew could only assume he was on some sort of energy trip of his own. His jeans hugged his waist, soft and worn from years of wear but tapered and fitting him just right. His t-shirt was just as threadbare, white and fraying at the edges, a flaking graphic on the front. His attire was so simple. And yet, he was so enticing, a mythical, enchanting being lost in a tune. Andrew couldn't take it eyes off him. But those damn boots, those black heeled boots made Andrew want to clench his fists and surrender everything he had at the exact same time.

Nicky had bought them for Neil, a gift to welcome him 'into the world of expressing yourself through clothing'. Neil hadn't seemed to understand what Nicky had meant, until he saw the boots that Nicky had produced from the cardboard box. His eyes had lit up and his cheeks had pinked, taking them with pure care and wonder.

They were a soft, black leather, pointed at the toe and with a block heel. 'Something subtle to ease you into it', Nicky had said. Andrew had glared at them. Neil had asked, quietly if they were his, if he could keep them. Nicky had to hold his breath to keep the tears from falling.

And now, they seemed to be Neil's favourite item of clothing whenever they went to Eden's. Andrew loved loathed them.

Andrew didn't particularly like crowds, too many foreign bumps and touches, it set his jaw to clench and his teeth on edge. But he felt drawn to Neil, drawn to the young man who seemed so enraptured and content in that moment, a soft grin lighting up his face. He seemed oblivious to the stares he got, regardless of their gender. Neil was an enigma for all it seemed.

And so, Andrew stood up from his table to push through the crowd, leaving Kevin and Renee to sip on their soda's and chat in peace.

He only had to push a little, the intoxicated mass seemed to shift easily with only a little guidance. It wasn't long before he was in Neil's vicinity, only a few knocks before he ended up face to face with his boyfriend. Despite seeming so lost in the moment, it didn't take long for Neil to clock Andrew was there, his present smile stretching into a beaming grin.

"Hey baby," he began, arms lowering and taking a step closer, but never ever touching unless Andrew said so. His chest grew tight. "Whatcha' doing out here?" he asked, voice having to carry a little for Andrew to hear him over the heavy bass. He tried to ignore the thrum of his heart over the pet name. He couldn't let Neil know how much it knocked him for a loop every damn time. He would enjoy that too much, and then never let up. He was annoying like that. His hips still subconsciously dipped to the beat, a kind smile still painted on his lips.

Andrew didn't answer with words, but he took a deliberate step even closer, close enough that their foreheads rested against each other. He saw Neil's lashes flutter for a moment, affection rouging his cheeks. Or maybe it was the heat. Neil didn't move to touch him anywhere else, just leant against him where Andrew had initiated the contact. Seemingly content, he began to make little shuffles, little sways from side to side with the melody. Andrew's body followed him without thought, breathing in.

Neil smelled of sweat, a musky boyish smell, deodorant and something sweet. His breath was warm on Andrew's cheeks as they swayed. Neil brought his hands up to bracket Andrew's head, never touching but an invitation. He waited patiently. Andrew nodded, mouthing a 'yes', so as not to have to shout over the music.

Neil rewarded him with another secret smile, his fingers finally coming to thread through Andrew's hair, gentle and light. Never clutching, or demanding. Andrew tried to supress a shiver when Neil let his nails lightly run over his scalp, but they were so close and touching, he knew Neil felt it. He felt a groan in his chest but clamped down on it. His head nodded forward of it's own accord, their noses bumping. Neil grinned.

Neil's fingers threaded through strands of his hair at the nape of his neck, playing and soft. Andrew's chest grew even tighter. Neil began to hum under his breath, along with the melody. Andrew wouldn't have been able to tell if he didn't feel the vibrations through where they connected to each other. Andrew breathed him in once more.

Neil's mouth began to shape around the words, singing with the artist and nudging his nose with Andrew's playfully. Andrew lifted off only to ask into Neil's ear, "holding your waist, yes or no?". Neil's nose scrunched up with his shining smile, nodding while shouting a "yes", back in Andrew's ear.

Andrew wrapped his hands around Neil's ridiculously, stupid tiny waist and pushed down the want to clutch onto him forever.

"Can I kiss you, yes or no?" Neil asked, gaze darting from one to the other of Andrew's eyes, waiting ever so patiently for an answer. Andrew took stock of his surroundings for a moment, taking his time to make up his mind. He didn't feel threatened, the other clubbers seemed to keep their distance, he hadn't felt a jostle from someone except Neil for a while. It was a docile space in that aspect, most people too busy kissing themselves, or so caught up in the music they didn't bat an eye.

Neil was so warm, almost hot under Andrew's fingers, expression open and doting. His lips waited, a small smile tugging at the corner gently. They were pink and plump as always, waiting, waiting, waiting...

He felt safe with Neil, he felt secure. It had taken a while for them to get there. It had taken time, and patience and growth. It had taken multiple sessions with Bee, discussing the 'ins-and-outs' of a healthy, balanced romantic relationship. It had taken communication on both sides, peeling back the gnarly stuff and healing what was there.

That didn't mean they didn't have their rocky days, didn't have the days where either Andrew felt an itching and crawling under his skin he couldn't scratch or dispel, or that Neil's skin felt pull too tight and taught over his bones. They still asked yes or no, no matter what. But it had become simpler, less burdened, less heavy when it came to the casual stuff. The affectionate every day stuff. Though there were still days where a 'yes or no' would have to be asked for every little bit of contact. And that was okay. They were expanding and rising together.

So right here, right now, Andrew felt safe with Neil, felt safe with his boyfriend in a club with bouncy and grinding music. In a crowd.

He said yes. Yes, yes, yes.

Neil's answering smile was something that Andrew would have imprinted in his mind for years and years to come. Ever so gentle, ever so slow, Neil leant forward. Their noses brushed, and their lips hovered before finally slotting together in what Andrew was pretty sure was bliss.

Neil's lips were hot, beads of sweat there but Andrew couldn't care. They kissed. And kissed, and kissed, and kissed. Andrew coaxed Neil's mouth open, rubbing his tongue against his. He felt an expel of air from Neil, a hitch in his throat. The corner of his mouth threatened to twitch.

It was hot, it was wet and it was messy. Teeth sometimes clashed, though it didn't seem to deter them. Andrew just kept kissing, catching Neil's bottom lip in his to tug at with his teeth tenderly, sucking and soothing it with his tongue after. Neil did groan then, fingers flexing and combing in his hair with a little more gusto. The corner of Andrew's lips did twitch this time.

"Andrew." he murmured against his lips, kissing him again and again. Their hips moved to the beat subconsciously. Neil's thumb rubbed against his cheekbones, pressing even more kisses into his cheeks. Andrew's own thumbs found Neil's hips, stroking over them while he held him up firmly. Neil's glitter smeared abdomen quivered. Neil had often said how he felt he could lean everything he had on Andrew for support and that Andrew could take his weight and never falter. He could hold him up, always.

"Andrew." he whispered again, though this time close enough for his ear to catch.

"Yes baby?" was all Andrew asked. He felt Neil's reaction to the pet name rather then saw it. His knees buckled a little and he sagged slightly, if only for a moment, righting himself immediately after to stand straight with his cheeks aflame. Andrew quirked a brow, a tiny smile on his lips.

Neil shook his head with a grin, pecking his lips once more, quickly and flutteringly light. They moved together to the music for a few tracks, Andrew staring at Neil and Neil staring at Andrew.

"Home?" Neil questioned, with an incline of his head. Andrew nodded, allowing Neil to lace their fingers together and to lead Andrew back to the table. Neil threw him a beaming smile over his shoulder as they did. Andrew's heart clenched.

They came back to the table to find their team screeching at each other, falling over themselves laughing in an intoxicated haze. Dan shouted out that Andrew had some glitter on his face, with a smug grin as she wavered into Matt. Andrew stared at her, doing his best to ignore the smirking Neil next to him, who fingers squeezed his. Andrew squeezed back.

They'd only done this a few times, as a group, a full group of all the original Foxes. Andrew could count them on his fingers. But it had started to become something a lot more frequent, a lot more common place, that they would all pile into cars for a night at Eden's. It might have been because every single time they were all together in that shadowed room with the thumping music, around a table and all of them squawking about Exy, Neil would get this particular look, a particular smile, that Andrew found himself wanting to see, over and over again.

He found himself surrounded by a lot more Foxes then usual recently.

Kevin and Renee remained on the side-lines, smiling at their friends as they were still just as sober and Neil and Andrew. Kevin had been sober for two months, now a part of the soda can clan with Neil and Renee. Andrew could still see the first night of Kevin's sobriety crystal clear.

_

The air was humid and vibrating with bass as they screamed their usual at Andrew over the music. Neil hovered by his side, hip cocked and gaze wandering as he did. It was only when he got to Kevin, not even pausing to look at him because he knew his order by heart, that Kevin spoke up.

"I'll-I'll just have a soda, thanks." he shouted, his cheeks rouging red as he spoke, his fingers getting fidgety as Andrew stared at him. With a serene smile, Renee took Kevin's hand, lacing their fingers together with a squeeze of support. Kevin blushed even deeper, a timid, albeit satisfied smile on his lips.

Allison reached over to pinch his cheek gently, before dropping her arm back round Renee's shoulders.

Matt beamed, slapping Kevin on the back in comradery.

Dan reached over to fist bump, a proud smile aimed right at him.

Nicky started to well up, clutching at his own cheeks in containment.

Aaron shrugged, but held Kevin's gaze.

Neil smiled at him, with an incline of his head.

Andrew nodded, before pushing off the table top to lead Neil back through the crowd.

They leant against the sticky bar together, sharing short pleasantries with Roland who seemed rushed off his feet but still had a few moments to throw them a winning smile. Neil remained silent, chewing on the side of his thumb as they waited.

"We should have done more." Andrew croaked out after a few minutes, leaning his weight on his crossed elbows, which rested on the bar top. Neil turned to him, a thoughtful purse of his lips pulled before he answered. Andrew knew Neil knew what he was getting at. He always did.

"Maybe." he admitted, gaze far away as he pondered. "But thinking like that won't do anything now." he reminded Andrew, fingers tapping. "We need to focus on what's going on now. And what's going on now is, Kevin wants a soda. So we'll get him a soda." Neil finished, a small smile turned Andrew's way. Andrew knew what he was getting at. They had all had a lot of growing to do, and things were far different to what they were a few years ago. And yes, they should have been more responsible, they should have looked out for Kevin and his need for drink the same way they did for anyone else.

But things had changed now, Kevin had changed. He was getting sober, was taking conscious action to stay clear. The here and now was what they needed to focus on. And after all, Andrew didn't believe in regret. It was stupid, and a waste of time. And so, he nodded at Neil's words, and waited for Roland to laden their tray with drinks.

_

Renee had pilled up her lot into Allison's car, following Andrew to the Columbia house through the night fallen streets. Lights flashed past the windows as Neil reclined in the passenger seat, their interlocked fingers resting on the console. Kevin was keeping a nattering Nicky company, will Aaron dozed on his other side, head resting on Kevin's shoulder. Neil took a picture, sending it off to Katelyn.

Katelyn took seconds to reply with streaming heart emojis and wishes of being there, if only she didn't have a family gathering to attend. Andrew was starting to become a little wary of Neil's And Katelyn's budding friendship. It smelt like trouble.

Getting them all into the front room hadn't taken too long, the sober ones yanking duvets and pillows out from the cupboards to set up make-shift beds for the team. Allison whisper-shouted for her girlfriend to hurry up and join her, waving her arms about as she lay amongst a sea of blankets and cotton. Renee chuckled, quick to grab glasses of water for everyone before falling into the arms of her taller, and a lot drunker girlfriend. Not that anyone didn't see that coming from a mile off. Dan won 200 bucks that day.

Andrew nodded to the back door, Neil smiling at him and following through the sliding doors. Andrew lit up, shaking one out for Neil who declined, both of them sitting to perch on the end of the porch.

It was late, or early? The skies had began to light up as night turned into day, inky indigo lifting into a baby blue. The air was cool, but the winds still as they sat. Andrew watched as the grey smoke from his cigarette curled up, dissipating. It wasn't long in companionable silence until a slither of the sun shone over the horizon. A vanilla swirl of orange bursting skies shot out, rays streaming up as it bled seamlessly into the blue. They sat there, watching the Earth do it's thing in even more silence.

Neil beginning to shiver broke the spell, Andrew letting out a long sigh once, before pulling off his leather jacket to sling over Neil's shoulders. Neil blinked at him a few times, ice blue eyes wide with surprise. Like a damn deer caught in headlights.

It was oversized on Neil, swamping him a little but by God, wasn't it the most gorgeous sight Andrew had ever seen. Neil - with dried sweat on his forehead and rogue glitter everywhere, smudged. His lips were red and plump, kiss swollen and chapped from the cool night air as the sunrise lit up his face in a golden glow. The leather jacket sat on his shoulders, though a too big and stretched. Andrew loved hated him the mere sight of him. And those damn boots...

"337 percent." was all Andrew grumbled, turning his gaze away when the start of a warm smile threatened to lift Neil's lips.

Neil shifted closer with a quick 'yes or no', head resting lightly on Andrew's shoulder. The striker let out a soft sigh, legs swinging as Andrew smoked. Andrew pressed a kiss into the crown of his head. It wasn't long before the sun had began to rise higher into the sky.

[veritemojo]

BLACK GIRLS DESERVE HAPPY ENDINGS AND FAIRY TALE SHIT. BLACK GIRLS DESERVE TO BE SWEPT OFF OUR FEET, LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY AND NOT USED AS HEALING HOSPITALS FOR PEOPLE TO GET FIXED! We deserve love and softness. tender kisses and bouquets of flowers. We deserve to love & to be loved. We deserve to actually be fucking looked at. Nobody ever looks at us as the ethereal beings we are. And if we are, y’all are too shy to do anything. When are we gonna get what we deserve? I AM A WHOLE GODDESS

[veritemojo]

no thoughts head empty only andreil bullying kevin

original audio here

[veritemojo]

[veritemojo]

This Pride, don’t forget about us

[veritemojo]

If “"evolution”“ is so perfect then why can I not hear the tv when I eat chips?????????

[veritemojo]

private messaging friends: lmaO so anryrywya im fuckgng crygn

private messaging someone for the first time: Hello, nice to finally talk to you! It’s wonderful that we have the chance to communicate through this messaging service - anyway, enough of me blathering on like a fool, how are you?

[veritemojo]

dear followers, today i offer you timsasha talking shit at a party. tomorrow? who knows

[veritemojo]

It!

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A bunch of JM donation commissions from the last 2 weeks.

[veritemojo]

HBO’s Insecure has mastered the cinematographic art of properly lighting black faces. Diversity matters!

[veritemojo]

stop acting like BLM is over and that its now fine to ignore petitions that still need to be signed + voices that still need to be heard. black lives will always matter and i'm lined up to go to multiple protests within the next week so i implore everyone to continue supporting black people however you can and to not let this die

[veritemojo]

Poor guy.

[veritemojo]

For science:

I’d like to see which Shakespeare plays people were required to read in high school (not that you chose to read, but ones that were actually assigned and discussed), so reblog or comment!

[veritemojo]

ways to help protestors if you are unable to protest

everybody has to do their part. as a reference, this was posted on 1 june 2020. if any links are broken or direct to a place they should not, please feel free to add on with corrections. if there is new information with better knowledge, please feel free to share. thank you.

1. donate

do not donate to shaun king. he has repeatedly collected money to “support” black people, but no one knows where the money is.

BAIL FUNDS (ALPHABETICAL ORDER; NOT A COMPREHENSIVE LIST)

note: washington dc and new jersey have cashless bail systems.

bail fund google doc (also includes lawyers for protestors)

national bail fund network (directory of community bail funds)

community bail funds masterpost by @keplercryptids

resistance funds (google sheets; lists bail funds around the country)

nationwide bail funds (split a donation to the bail funds listed on the linked page with a single transaction)

atlanta bail fund

brooklyn bail fund

colorado freedom fund

columbus freedom fund

houston chapter of black lives matter

liberty fund (nyc based; focuses services on people from low-income communities)

los angeles freedom fund

louisville community fund

massachusetts bail fund

minnesota freedom fund (as of may 30, 2020, they are encouraging people to donate elsewhere since they have raised enough money; as of may 29, 2020, they do not have a venmo, as some fraudulent accounts have been claiming, source)

philadelphia bail out fund

richmond bail fund

MORE PLACES TO DONATE

note: more links are listed in the masterposts below.

northstar health collective (healthcare and medical aid for people on the front lines)

reclaim the block (aims to redistribute police funding to help the minneapolis community)

twin cities dsa (provides fresh groceries and hot meals to people in minneapolis)

2. educate yourself

it isn’t enough to sign petitions and reblog/retweet/etc. nonblack people, including people of color, owe it to black people to educate themselves and correct themselves and the people around them on anti-blackness.

note: more links are in the masterposts linked below.

resources and tools regarding racism and anti-blackness (google sheets compilation)

readings on society, racism, the prison system, etc. (twitter thread)

“where do we go after ferguson?” by michael eric dyson

official black lives matter website

3. give out supplies to protestors

people need supplies to protest safely, and even if they bring supplies with them, they can often run out. if you’re able, stock up and hand them out to people protesting. for more supplies to donate, see the “george floyd action” google docs link in section 5.

water bottles (dehydration and heatstroke are not things people should have to deal with alongside bastard cops. if the police in your area are particularly violent or known to use tear gas, get the ones with the sports cap/suction-thing/etc so people can use them as emergency eye-flushes.)

snacks (make sure to take into account that people have allergies of all sorts. foods will have a little label that says “may contain” and then list any potential allergens. write the allergens on the ziploc (or any container you use) in permanent marker, or better yet, write the snacks included in the pack.)

masks (don’t forget there’s still a pandemic going on. also it will aid in deterring facial recognition when the police try to track down protestors,  also part two, if the cops use tear gas, wearing a mask (with the combination of a scarf or bandana) will lessen the adverse effects. lessen, not stop.)

bandanas, scarves, etc. and goggles (ski goggles, swimming goggles, etc.) (see above for explanation on the scarves. same goes for the goggles. anti–tear gas and anti–facial recognition.)

clean shirts (for people who are heavily gassed. also helps deter recognition through clothing.)

wound care supplies (band-aids, packets of neosporin packets or a similar antibiotic, alcohol wipes, etc.; if you can, decant bactine into those little travel bottles.)

a sharpie or another type of marker (for writing bail numbers or emergency contacts on arms, hands, etc. it’s not enough to have your city’s bail fund number stored on your phone; the police won’t give it to you to look it up. give people a marker so they can write it down, preferably not washable so it isn’t easily removed.)

IMPORTANT: KNOWING FIRST AID

tear gas: if you’re hit, get out as fast and as soon as you can. take anyone you can with you. the longer you’re in the gas, the harder it will be for you to see, and it can irritate your airways, making it hard to breathe. if you’re hit, don’t run; it’ll only make things worse on your lungs. when you leave the area, take a cold shower. don’t use hot water (it will only reactivate the agent); don’t bathe (it will only spread the CS around). (source 1) (source 2) (cdc fact sheet on tear gas)

move them to a clean and ventilated area where it’s as safe as possible.

ask them if they’re wearing contact lenses. have them remove it. if they’re wearing glasses, rinse it with water.

solution of half liquid antacid, half water. spray from the inside going out, with the head tilted back and slightly towards the side being rinsed. if they say it’s okay, open the eye slightly while doing this. (source)

bullet wounds: the most important thing is to stop the bleeding. be sure to check for an exit wound and cover that as well. treat both wounds, but treat the worse one first.

stop the bleed (youtube video by uc san diego health)

first aid in active shooting scenarios

making a tourniquet (a commercial tourniquet is best, but improvised ones can work as well if done properly; the most important things to remember is that tourniquets are for limb injuries and are not meant for the head or torso and that they have to be very tightly wound on the injury.)

how to apply pressure dressings

miscellaneous

adult cpr tutorial (youtube video by cincinnati children’s; think of “staying alive” by the beegees or “uptown funk”)

4. be a source of information

be responsible with this. people’s lives are at stake. that being said, the media is a fucking joke and the best way to get accurate information in a grassroots rebellion is amongst ourselves. record everything, but if you are going to share any information at all, be sure to blur people’s faces.

signal (encrypted messenger app; messages delete after x amount of time): app store | google play

tool for scrubbing metadata from images and selectively blurring identifiable features

tech tips to protect yourself while protesting (by rey.nbows on tiktok, via vicent_efl on twitter)

cop spotting 101 (google docs)

know your rights (by personachuu on twitter)

NUMBERS TO CALL FOR ARRESTED PROTESTORS (ALPHABETICAL ORDER; SOURCES LINKED TO THE NUMBER)

remember to keep phones OFF unless absolutely necessary. cell phone towers, stingrays, location notifs can all be used to track you and other protestors. don’t fuck around. if your phone must be on, keep it on airplane mode as often as possible and only communicate using encrypted methods. no, snapchat doesn’t count. (a twitter thread on stingrays, for those interested)

lawyers assisting protestors pro-bono (by riyakatariax on twitter)

atlanta: 404-689-1519

chicago: 773-309-1198

minneapolis: 612-444-2654

5. miscellaneous links and links for protestors

masterpost of petitions to sign, numbers to call, places to donate, and more (carrd by dehyedration on twitter)

#blacklivesmatter (google docs by ambivaIcnt on twitter; includes information on relevant events, other masterposts, lists of petitions and donation links, how to protest safely and protests to go to, and more)

george floyd action (google docs; includes information on apps to download, supplies to buy and donate, places to donate to, protest safety, resources on unlearning racial bias, and more)

how to get out of ziptie “handcuffs” (by finnianj on tiktok, via katzerax on twitter)

how can i help? by @abbiheartstaylor

how to make a signal-blocking cell phone pouch

tips for protestors by @aurora00boredealis

twitter thread for protestors (by vantaemuseum on twitter)

also, if you’re protesting, change your passcode. make it at least 11 characters long and don’t use facial/thumb recognition.

[veritemojo]

The first pride was a riot, more specifically a riot against police violence. Trans women like Miss Major and other people of colour paved the way for the celebration of pride today. You cannot celebrate your pride this month, or any month if you aren’t also supporting Black Lives Matter and the riots going on against police violence right now. Us white LGBTQ+ need to stand up for our black siblings and their rights, their struggles. We need to amplify their voices and show any support we can. (Edited to add links and make the image clearer)

Extensive BLM Google doc including places to donate to, education resources, etc

List of 75 things white people can do right now

Simple way to donate to the cause if you have no money to

[veritemojo]

Just want to raise awareness for the Chicago Torture Justice Center, the first and only organization in the US providing trauma recovery services for survivors of police violence. You can donate here.