verydizzyelf

[verydizzyelf]

DEX😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[verydizzyelf]

sometimes i think about bald stina and then i giggle

[verydizzyelf]

sophie probably reads fanfics on ao3

[verydizzyelf]

why do i feel like alden would drive a cybertruck

[verydizzyelf]

Happy pride month yall

[verydizzyelf]

fenrir greyback just found out there a was kid named ‘remus lupin’ and was like bro i could do sm really funny rn

[verydizzyelf]

In honor of pride month the Neverseen would like to state that we are an equal opportunity employer and additionally much of our best torture has been done on our LGBTQ Adversaries. We staunchly oppose any attempts to discriminate against a victim by freeing them just because they are queer. Here at the Neverseen, our hate isn't driven by homophobia or transphobia, but who you are as a person.

[verydizzyelf]

sophies tribunal at the end of book 1 is so ridiculous lmfao. u were kidnapped so we'll forgive the everblaze catching charges but unfortunately we cant reschedule your finals 😕 and since u didnt do any chemistry while u were escaping u have unfortunately flunked out of school. nothing we can do about this btw sorry 🙁

[verydizzyelf]

fitz’s drag name would be chandy leer

[verydizzyelf]

GAY keeper of the lost cities be like:

mr. WOKEle

GAYdy ruewen

BIana vacker

TRANS song

fintan pyren

PRONOUNS endal

[verydizzyelf]

Fanon Ro is top teir

Disregard many of her Canon scenes

I can stay delulu all I want okay 😭

[verydizzyelf]

yoooo fuckers it’s pride!!!

[verydizzyelf]

keefe calls fitz babygirl unironically

[verydizzyelf]

It’s easy to think of elves and think flashy clothes,jewelry and a seemingly perfect society where everyone is equal in living and pay. But a quick dive into their system reveals that their council is probably the first oligarchy ever created, that they essentially don’t have a democracy, that their council mass tracks and surveils every elf while also being complicit in erasing and manipulating history.

[verydizzyelf]

i have this stupid headcannon that elves can’t back float. idk, something to do with not being able to keep themselves afloat in the water or smth. i just randomly thought of this one day but hear me out:

they all go to the beach one day, maybe they walk down from the cliffs at havenfield, maybe they go to waves of wimpiness when cassius isn’t there, details aren’t important, anyway…

sophie, who has no idea that elves can’t back float, is watching as fitz spends the entire trip to the beach trying (and failing) to do… something… and keefe laughs at him all the while. she finally asks keefe what fitz is trying to do, and he tells her he’s trying to back float.

“… what?” sophie asks, confused.

“yeah,” says keefe. “he’s been trying since he was 13. he wants to be the youngest elf ever to learn how to back float.”

at this point, sophie is thoroughly confused, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t at least a little amused. “let me get this straight. he’s been trying since he was 13, for 4 years now, and he still hasn’t got it yet?”

“yup,” says keefe, who looks at her with a smirk.

“and even if he finally manages to do it today, he’d still be the youngest elf ever to back float?”

“mhm,” keefe nods, looking back to the water.

“that makes absolutely zero sense,” sophie sighs.

“well, elves can’t back float,” keefe says, as if she would already know.

“huh? how? it’s so easy!” sophie exclaims, exasperated.

keefe slowly turns to look at her, the smirk on his face turning into a wide grin as he realizes the implications of what she just said. “i don’t know the exact reason, but most elves aren’t able to back float until they’re ancient, and even then, most still can’t.” there’s a moment of silence while sophie processes the new information. suddenly, she sighs heavily, drops her head between her knees, and lets out a long groan. “so, foster… how long have you been able to back float?” keefe asks, unable to keep the wide smirk off of his face.

“since i was six,” admits sophie quietly, head still between her knees.

“hey, congrats on being the youngest elf ever to do it,” keefe chuckles, nudging her gently.

“great. just another way i’m different. i can’t catch a break.” sophie’s voice starts to waver. keefe can tell sophie’s spiraling, so he tries to cheer her up.

“well, think of it this way. even if fitzy can float by the end of today, you’ll still have him beat by eleven years! that’s pretty cool, isn’t it?”

sophie looks up from between her knees and frowns at keefe skeptically. “is it?”

“i think so, foster,” keefe winks, turning back to watch fitz fall in the water again.

~~~~~~

i might turn this into fanfic for funzies, idk

[verydizzyelf]

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHA 20 PAGES IN THIS BOOK HAS ME ON THE FLOOR PLS—

[verydizzyelf]

i just want to once again express my hatred for forkle. stupid hoe