verysoftbadger

[verysoftbadger]

i just got my paycheck and i am $350 short on rent. i had to take a few days off a couple weeks ago because i was extremely sick, and then another day off last week because of a migraine and stomach sickness, i worked as much as i possibly could otherwise but im still behind :(

i only have to pay this more expensive rent a for like 3 more months but im so worried and i really cant afford to be behind again... this is extremely important that im able to get this in the next couple of days, it's due on the first of the month and no later than that 😭

if anyones able to help me at all it would be SUPER extremely appreciated, i'm even willing to take on a few single character commissions for $80 each. dm me if interested!

i can only receive payment via v3nm0 right now, my p@yp@l is still messed up

vnm: tobias_leviathan

[verysoftbadger]

u ever see your parents and think “ah. that’s where i get it from”

[verysoftbadger]

Like literally what a monkey looks like when he realizes youre passing a single treat between your hands behind your back

[verysoftbadger]

I'm gonna make a post with all of the 'stick figure violence' adjacent images I have. if anyone knows any similar ones I'm missing PLEASE SEND ME THEM. I have an unhealthy obsession with them.

[verysoftbadger]

I had to draw my lamb in @beautysnake's Rite of Lust outfit

I couldn't decide which version I liked better so I'm posting both

[verysoftbadger]

playing with snoopy like a dress up doll…

[verysoftbadger]

[verysoftbadger]

I lean on the wall and two mines embedded in the plaster blow my hands off I take a step backwards in shock and two landmines in the floor blow my feet off I fall down and hit my head on the bathtub and a mine in the bathtub blows my head off

[verysoftbadger]

monstera nudibranch | from 2022

[verysoftbadger]

bro ain’t even covering his ears

[verysoftbadger]

i see a lot of criticism towards 17776 along the lines of “ugh if humanity actually stopped aging or dying and people really did just live forever they would not spend their time playing football… that is not what EYE would do with MY time…. this is so unrealistic….. clearly the author just wanted to write about sports 🙄😒” and like. yeah. yes. exactly. jon bois is a sports writer and sports analyst who wanted to examine why people love sports and why sports have cultural staying power and why he especially finds sports compelling and what sports have to say about the human condition and our ability to care. so he made up a fake scenario about humans being immortal and then he made it about sports. and he wrote about sports. the story is titled ‘what sports will look like in the future.’ if that isn’t something that you can vibe with then maybe the story simply is not for you

[verysoftbadger]

You're about to close on your very own, suspiciously affordable and comfortable house. Just before you sign the contract, the realtor shows you the required legal disclosure: your new house is haunted by the type of presence you'll get from this spinner wheel.

Of course it is.

[verysoftbadger]

reblog if you know what it did

[verysoftbadger]

I wanted to see if there was a longer version of that Sabrina fortnite clip and im glad there is

[verysoftbadger]

COTL: In A Bed of Camellia Flowers

Narinder was laying in a patch of Camellia flowers somewhere in the Darkwood. He wasn’t sure how far into the forest he had travelled, nor did he care. Ordinarily the flowers burned against his cursed fur, but he had learned that his robes blocked the majority of the pain. He didn’t mind a little discomfort. The pain almost felt comforting. He had spent so much time bound by heavy shackles that sometimes he could swear he missed the sensation of friction burns on his wrists. It was certainly a more scenic spot than Anchordeep, and he couldn’t risk getting a contact high in Anura.

And it was without a doubt better than having to spend another millisecond in that zoo the Lamb calls a commune.

What a disgrace that place was. The Lamb did everything for their followers. Frequently they cleaned up after them, cooked for them, healed them, and gods know what else. A true leader would never stoop so low for a follower. In fact they should be punished for having the Lamb raise so much as a hoof. Yet the Lamb insists that the only thing they have to do for them is pray, work when told, and keep the peace.

That’s what the Lamb told Narinder as well. “If you promise to pray for me, work when told, and keep the peace, you may stay here.” Simpleton. They made him swear it, in front of the entire congregation, on his first sermon. Narinder has seen other indoctrinations since then, not a single one has been nearly as… grandiose.

But it wasn’t the personal ceremony of his arrival that raced through Narinder’s mind, nor was it the bloodied face of the Lamb when they struck him down from atop his throne of slaughter. No, what kept circling in Narinder’s mind was what the Lamb had said to him after the ceremony.

They had pulled Narinder aside as the followers began to feast. Out the doors of the temple and around the back, next to a small grave, yet to be filled. The Lamb, always the shining beacon of light in this small forest community, always the charmer, the pleaser, the remorseful, the empathetic. The Lamb leaned in close to Narinder’s ear, their breath as cold as fresh snow, and whispered:

“If you step out of line, if for even a moment you think about harming my cult, if you so much as sow the smallest seed of treachery…” the Lamb leaned back, just far enough that Narinder could only see one of their blood red eyes, and a small hand pointing to the open grave. “I will bury you here myself.”

Narinder’s breath caught in his throat, and in a single blink, the Lamb’s eyes returned to normal, and their soft smile returned. They told Narinder to enjoy the festivities, and that a tent has been set up for him separated from the others for his privacy. And then they walked away as if nothing had occurred at all.

Narinder’s mind couldn’t help but replay this moment, over and over again. The facade of the Lamb was so strong, not even he had truly realized their potential until that moment. Their piercing glare, their icy breath, their scarred hands…

Their warm smile. A smile that betrays everything else. A smile that could not possibly come from a godslayer. A killer’s charm. It was the most terrifying thing about them.

When the Lamb smiled, to all their followers it was the smile of a leader they could believe in, a smile they would happily pray to, for it was the first thing they saw when they were saved from the perils of the hideous evils of these woods. That smile represented a new era of freedom from cannibalistic anarchy. It made them feel safe.

But all Narinder saw was the beast that lurked below. The serpent that slithered its way through every muscle of the creature’s soft exterior. It was the flashy colors of a venomous predator. It was his reckoning.

A shuffle in the brush made Narinder’s ears flick, and the sound of a twig snapping made him bolt upright in his patch of camellias. His ankles had become exposed to the flowers, and his palms pressed deep into their petals. Both began to burn as if he was sitting in a bed of coals. But he dared not move.

At the edge of the clearing, an unmistakable silhouette. Draped in a red and black cloak, sword drawn to help cut through the underbrush, they took a delicate step out into the clearing. Their hoof crunched a single leaf underneath.

“Hello Nari,” said the Lamb. “Wandered off again?”

The Lamb smiled softly as the camellias turned to ash in Narinder’s hand.

[verysoftbadger]

My favorite threads posts about SINNERS

This movie is currently my whole personality… y’all gon’ be sick of me! 🤣

[verysoftbadger]

the tv show "the torment nexus game is bad" being a poignant critique of wage slavery and class disparity and capitalism that is popularized in the west by big tv corporation bc it makes them money, then being turned into "the torment nexus game is bad: the game show" by the most souless and therefore most popular youtuber because it makes him money, so then big tv corporation makes their OWN "the torment nexus game is bad: the OFFICIAL game show" to make even more money off the "the torment nexus game is bad" fictional critique of capitalism tv show, and then it turns out that many allegations of torment nexus-like conditions come out of both reality tv game shows but there aren't any consequences. and then Bigger Corporation goes to the soulless youtuber and is like. lets make another "the torment nexus game is bad" -esque game show to make us a lot of money because the people stuck in the torment nexus love that shit. it's called "the torment nexus game is fun :-)" and then the writer of the "the torment nexus game is bad" posts on twitter that he fucking hates his own story and what it has become. you would think this is a plot from a heavy-handed early black mirror episode but it is unfortunately a plot from real life