viennie04

[viennie04]

You're breaking my heart. You squeezed it far too long. far too vigorously. this faint palpitating heart needing to castle some beats of life it so desperately desires beneath your aching grip. Eyes I so miserably want to look into but knowing the risk of my life slipping away I mustn't keep this heart from dying. Unwell I sound but unwell I feel. Your eyes impair my soul, mutilate my heart within my heart. I dance a soft swift dance with the death that kills my heart of your most beautifully deceitful eyes. I dance swift, Though death's grip hasn’t harmed me I feel myself not slipping closer to endless slumber, yet to descend cavernously back the those forbidding eyes I wish to no longer crave, for I wish to let go. I wish to end my own tragic suffering, but I cannot. And I’ll return to wait until my soft dance with death comes to a final end.

[viennie04]

Can our friendship be forgotten for a moment? Can I stay stuck in your eyes for just a second? Can we forget we are all human for once? Can I feel how I felt one last time? I suffer being your friend and to me that’s fine, I just want one last look of your perfect brown skin one last time, and then. Just then I will no longer wait. I will no longer grieve. One look and peace will finally come to me

[viennie04]

Trapped by your blazed brown eyes I thought I’d dance, we’d talked about dancing all the time, moonlight, daylight, golden hour, blue hour, I would’ve spun for you in every hour in every lifetime, yet you’ve shattered me and I’m not sure it’s finished shattering, how can you be this way? You promise our lives waltzing across the moon and yet you fled once the moon hid its face and was quiet for the night it had given us. Please don’t shatter my heart more. I beg you. Let me be with those blazing eyes I once felt warm in and not deserted in.

[viennie04]

I never once thought that the scars I felt physically and mentally would heal, until a heart that beat the same rhythm as mine grew closer to me. A breath that I never thought Id feel, and fall for gliding past my skin, flying me like a plane. Through the night I feel my hands touch the face I imagine to grow old with, how that hand touches all my scars and kisses them, reminding me that though with scars I can breathe still. Something about the way this breath feels on my scars puts me at ease, makes me feel as though it's been there all my life and I finally felt it rush past my neck softly and tenderly. How free I am. How free you make me. Thank you.

[viennie04]

You seemed so happy with the women in my dream. The child we had, split parents but happy to see both, co-parenting. Though just a baby, the child did not deserve so. No kid deserves so. I cared for our child and yet my heart yearned for you the most. I didn't just want our child all to myself I wanted our child together, but you did not want me, you wanted her. I had tried everything to have you as mine again but you wanted the women you were so happy with. I loved seeing that smile on your face but hated that it wasn't with me. That it was with you three when it really could have been us three. You wanted her not me. When I had our child with me, I took care of it but I would stop and watch you too together and my heart hurt. I wanted you so bad. I needed you so bad. Everything about that women scares me. I tried everything and you chose her. I gave up I felt like I barely tried anything. I took care of our child and watched you with her, I felt pain and didn't move on like you, I had just raised our child. Co-parenting for you. It hurts, it hurts a lot that I had dreamt something so hurtful, but I did and Im not sure how long it will stop hurting even if it isn't real. I love you so much and I hate that women.

[viennie04]

I feel less human when I initiate my feelings in anything, but I wanna be heard too, it feels like your either hushed after you express them once being told to share your feelings, or being told that it will get Better or to grow up or some stupid shit. You didn't wanna hear them in the first place why tell me to express them or why would you tell me too and once I do, you leave. Do you really truly give a damn about me? Or are you trying to let your record look good? You've prevented me from expressing, you've made it hard, you make me look stupid, it was hard enough and you took the little bit of me, threw it on the ground and stepped on it like some ant. Do I hope the same for you? In anger, yes but truly no. I just wish you walked the other way when you first saw me.

[viennie04]

Good for one another feeling of fate, some things hurt but it goes away when they both work to make things ok. Even great. Yet a break needed and time to heal and they still wait because they believe in this fate. It's beautiful and I love watching it grow I take notes for how I want it to go. Yet I feel as if I don't deserve this special kind of love and I can't seem to figure out why But I will not let this feeling make them sad no I will cheer them On and hope for the best while I sit and not only wait for fate but also sit and find that one fine wine that I want to have smile at me, while I hold their hand and have butterflies. I wanna find that shinny lucky coin I find on the floor and it warms my cold hands with its blazing warmth, and I wanna find my star that leads my path when it's to dark for me to see. I wanna find him. The one that is for me. Though I don't think I deserve him I want him and like all no one wants to wait. Dying to find out who their torch light, their warmth, their smile you can't resist is. We shall wait. For that someday fucking kiss. Because for now I need to learn about myself before I lay my lips upon the one that I so desperately want to find to kiss. I'll sit and wait.

[viennie04]

I feel so, wrapped in this sadness I don't want to handle anymore, everyone else around me changing into these flickering lights burning bright this dark night, as bright as the stars they shine. My light seems dim to me almost completely shut off, seems to be dying. I'm not sure how to change that though I so badly wish too, those around me say then sense I have changed in a good way but I personally see that nothing has changed my Light still flickers dim, I light no fire like the stars, I do not cause warmth and it is, In fact killing me.

[viennie04]

Can we all just sit down in a group just like dead poets society, but not just read poems, we read parts of books that have meaning we recite words that break our hearts, make us fall in love, inspire, make us melt, cry, angry, anything. A feeling I just want A feeling to share with everyone when we read/listen to the same words together.

[viennie04]

My heart ached for your eyes knowing I could not look into them the way I wanted Knowing I couldn't have them so close to mine, I had told your eyes it was best if we parted ways and they told me it wasn't fair. I had said that your eyes has a draw in them a force I don't want to turn away from and that I should get away. yet again it was unfair. But as I stayed days went by things were fine I was glad to see your eyes and then they disappeared. Staying to love your eyes like I wanted only hurt in the end. But oh how I hope to the next who falls in love with them your eyes don't disappear and leave them longing like mine do. I miss you dear friend.

[viennie04]

I just wanna go to downtown and run and dance in pouring rain at night while the hanging street lights are on with my lover, or perhaps sit drinking cold coffee, watching the rain pouring down into my little white coffee cup on my glass table out on the hill my little house was built on. I wanna be staring at the love of my life smiling hopelessly in love with him while listening to the song Reflections by Toshifumi Hinata and just soaking up every moment with my Lover.

[viennie04]

Todd Anderson: *Stands on desk*

Me: *sobbing my eyes out*

All the boys: *standing on desk*

Me: *hearts literally breaking*

My cousin: *passed tf out next to me*