vik-fluff

[vik-fluff]

Fluffy boio

Exited to show you the new suit when he is finished:>

This is a drawover from the (unfinished) suit

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I feel so lonely

There is no one I can talk to

Tell what is going on rn

I wish I had someone I would trust so much in telling

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Just accept a no god damn

It's rude to try forcing me to a yes and I am tired of it

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I mean I don't wanna die but I don't want to exist anymore yk?

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✨ Hocus Pocus, I cannot focus ✨

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Jaaap turning them into a suit and honestly I am absolutely in love so far

He seems to turn out better than expected 💕

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I think I haven't showed you my persona

So literally me as a cat haha

Ofc my fursona is still vik and I won't give him away!

He represents me but in a different way than Noel

I gave them the name Noel since my parents thought about naming me that and I love how neutral it is

I also gave them my hair like a dark brown hair in some sort of bun/fluffy Ness with blue strains in the front

Also they are a tuxedo cat since they are known as the husky of cats

What make them kinda different what I used to represent autism and more dog like behavior

I always had some sort of connection to tuxedo cats and I think I now kinda know why

All in all I love how the design turned out

Hope you like it too!

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“Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.”

— George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

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Nobody cares

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You×me?

We just laid down together and smoked

Music was playing in the background

The song that played were our favorite song

You grabbed my hand softly

I blushed a little but you didn't notice it

We watched the stars

The weather was perfect for stargazing

Kinda romantic if you think of it

I like you I said

You giggled and ask where that came from but still said you like me too

I told you I just said out loud what I was thinking

We laid there for hours

Best night of my life

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And suddenly everything starts to look unreal.

You stand in front of your friend and even they don't feel real

You look in the mirror and see someone but this someone seems to be not you

One day I will reply in just a second but the nother day it will take me hours

Maybe you won't notice I am ill but

I will . I will always feel it

I hate being ill and don't know what to do

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Maybe we are -

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Pov : u are sitting next to me in the car <3

♥︎ I love you ♥︎

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>>overdosing over you<<

Vent (TW I guess?)

Well-

I got a new psychological doctor (idk in German there are 3 different version of psychological doctors and I am honestly not really sure which kind it is zwz sorry 4 that)

Honestly she kinda reminds me of the first one I've had back in 8th grade not as horrible as her but still

At least she seems to be kinda empathetic and trys to help me in sort of ways like doctors appointments and stuff like that

BUT GIRL STOP

I have the feeling she never really listens or want to listen to the things I have or want to say

She just prescribed me new meds .-.

I mean in fact I am glad the new ones seem to be more for my actual problems (sertralin) than the old ones (fluoxetin)

However I still don't really trust her (I mean she prescribed me Olazapin for sleeping better ixuevduebdb that's actually a neurological medication-)

And honestly it makes me sad that she didn't listen since I have the feeling talking about my trauma etc would be very important atm since my mental health got worse

But well just some new meds (this actually what she somewhat wanted since we first met .. at least it seems like it)

I miss my old therapist to be honest-

She was the first one of the doctors I really trusted

Damn

I really miss her

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I have no one to show this to So

I Post it here :> took the autism RAADS (I think it's called like this) test

Well

It would explain why people often tell me I am (acting) weird