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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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You can go and love yourself

Justin Bieber recently sung to his girlfriend that she could go and love herself. In another context that is the sort of thing that God might say to you.

God cares for your well-being. Right from the beginning of creation he looked at his creatures and said things like ‘it’s not good for man to be alone’ or ‘Come to me and find rest’, or ‘‘make for yourselves purses that do not run out’. Put another way he could be saying ‘you can go and love yourself’....

But how do you do it? How do we actively replenish or ‘love’ ourselves? Below are five strands:

Sleep - scientists now recommend 8-9 hours sleep a night and they are getting better at identifying the savage effects on your health of regularly getting less than that. If you don’t sleep well don’t just live with it - seek to change it. Look up some research on it; you can improve your sleep. Diet is increasingly identified as a contributor to bad sleep, as is level of exercise. Small changes in your daytime habits can have huge impacts on your nightime and be hugely replenishing for you.

Sport - some of you are already thinking blah blah blah you’ve heard all this noise about regular exercise from the NHS and you aren’t interested. But if you are serious about loving God and loving your neighbour it is worth looking into anything that will help you become more alert and more energised. Why not try joining a sports club, going to the gym, taking regular walks or something like that?

Sabbath - while Jesus has released us as his people from the old law, you’d be crazy to ignore sabbath as a great way to build replenishment into your life. One day every week put down all the troubles of this life and actively enjoy God and his creation. If that day is Sunday, come to church to celebrate Him, to encounter Him and to give yourself to Him, and then afterwards do something truly fun for lunch or in the afternoon & evening.

Silence - our lives are busier than ever and our growing addiction to noise is killing us. Practice giving yourself time not checking your phone or listening to music or watching TV but just being silent. For many this could be a holiday away… as long as you aren’t spending your whole time taking selfies!

Socialising - Research suggests that modern men in particular are bad at socialising. We men spend more time with our kids and families than ever before and more time at work than ever before and the thing that has been squeezed out is friendship. It is challenging to find the space but the wisdom books of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes are full of encouragement to surround yourself with friends who can advise and support and who lift you out of negative or myopic behaviour and into fullness of life.

In all of these, we see how God has designed things so that we put in a small amount of effort and get a huge amount of benefit. For some finding space for the effort is harder than for others but there will be some way you can engage with these and when you do so you will find more of your God. God has given huge freedom to all of us to explore this and find how we can best ‘love ourselves’.

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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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On priorities

It could feel like there is chaos in the land. Jesus is speaking to us in the midst of this… and it might not be what you are expecting. We think he is speaking to us about priorities.

In the general election campaign Jeremy Corbyn clearly voiced a priority to care for the poor; ‘for the many, not the few’. Theresa May spoke about wanting her government to prioritise the ‘‘just about managing’ families and Brexit. They both spoke about priorities… but, for one of them - the one who ends up governing - their claims are tested by what they actually do. Events like the terrible fire in Grenfell Tower reveal something about true lived priorities. There have been Council meetings and Government decisions - places where true priorities are fought for and exposed - which chose a cheaper refurbishment option over a better one or chose to spend time on visible law changes rather than more important hidden ones.

Jesus’ voice in all of this is asking you “what are your priorities?”. Not what do you claim your priorities to be; not what you ‘campaign’ on in public, but what are they actually shown to be in your hidden meetings and decisions? You see,Jesus has put you in government - you govern your body, you govern the money that passes through your hands, you govern your time, you govern your tongue. And what you do with your body shows what your true priorities are.

I think it was John Chrysostom (349-407AD) who spoke of the human heart like a city and you as its governor. When you become a Christian you raise the flag of Jesus over your gates and invite the Holy Spirit in as your chief adviser. With Jesus' powerful name over you and the Spirit’s wisdom guiding you, your city should flourish. The priorities of Jesus should be manifest in your land. But in so many of us there is chaos instead. We may listen to God’s wisdom and even speak it out, but not actually enact it. Or, we may seek to enact the Spirit’s wisdom but then find some of our citizens (ie some of our heart) stubbornly refuses his leadership and act out rebellion. We then choose whether to put in the hard graft to bring those citizens into submission or to just leave them alone. Jesus pointed out the utter folly of not bringing them into obedience; it’s like a builder constructing a house on sand (or a tower without proper fire safety mechanisms) that will lead to utter pain and destruction when a storm hits.

Are you acting like a fool? Are you leaving parts of your life in rebellion to the loving rule of the Spirit? That will not end well.

Instead, choose to invite the gracious, empowering leadership of the Spirit into more of your life. It may be hard work, or slow and drawn out… but when you look at the alternative - anarchy, poor leadership of yourself, lack of control - it’s a complete no-brainer how you should go.

Just to bring this home a bit; John Wimber (founder of the Vineyard Movement) had a few key questions he asked all church leaders he oversaw. I share them with you (in a slightly modified form) to help you along the journey to peace in your land. The questions are hard hitting and we aren't suggesting you go around asking them to everyone. But it might be helpful for you to have a TRUSTED friend who you discuss them with so you can increase the leadership of the Spirit in each of them:

If I looked through your last month’s bank statement, would it show Jesus as your priority? How could you change your spending to honour Jesus more?

How is your sex life? Since we last met have you engaged in any kind of sexual sin?

What would your wife / kids / closest friends say about you today?

Can I see your diary for last week?

What’s the last passage you read in the bible and how did Jesus speak to you through it?

Who are you speaking to about Jesus at the moment? Give me their phone number so I can call them and ask them about it.

These questions are challenging - they are meant to be - because they cast light on the brutal reality of how we are governing our bodies. If we press into these things we need to keep hold of the fact that Jesus wants to help us in this; he is interceding for us in this. What is impossible for man is not impossible for God. God's own Spirit lives in us and if we let him can and does lead us into wisdom and life and peace in our land.

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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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On beating fear

Last week Lesley read about the hunting strategy of African lions; some might say she was particularly interested in any group where the female is dominant. Tom couldn’t possibly comment on such a thing…

African lionesses identify their prey and devise the strategy for catching them. They do it like this; the strong hunting females who will execute the kill stay downwind of the antelope or deer or whatever it is. This way the prey remain unaware of their presence. But the lionesses send a male lion all the way around the prey so he is directly upwind from them. The lion will then roar very loudly and move about to stir up his scent and generally do everything he can to alert the prey to his presence and to scare them away. The terrified deer run in directly the opposite direction of the male lion and directly into the mouths of the lionesses. Had they ran towards the noise, or even just stayed still they would not have been caught but their fear ends up killing them.

1 Peter 5:8 “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ after you have suffered a little while will himself restore you and make you strong firm and steadfast.”

The lion has been roaring this last week; on an international scale we have seen disturbing news about rogue national leaders and economic uncertainty, on a national scale terrorist attacks and inconclusive election results have shouted that all is chaos, on a personal level we’ve heard the tragic news of Rhodri Campbell’s death to cancer and - no doubt - other disappointments or hurts and pains. These are roars of a lion. They are designed to scare us and destabilise us, to cause us to run from the ground on which we stand. But we stand firm. We control our minds, we control our hearts and we remain steadfast. How do we do that? The New Testament has abundant practical advice for us:

Look at Jesus. One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to let fearfulness push us into a whole host of ‘what if’s’. We think what if this… then that would happen… and then that would happen… and before we know it we are reacting to something that has not happened and probably will never happen. Instead we look at Jesus who has already happened. Jesus’ death and resurrection is not a ‘what if’; it is a ‘therefore’. Jesus died and rose ‘therefore’ Rhodri’s death is not the end for him, in fact it is just a ‘sleep’ - a sleep of paradise - as he waits for the resurrection of the righteous. Jesus has ascended to the right hand of the Father, he reigns right now and one day he will return to bring his reign fully to the earth, ‘therefore’ global chaos is at worst temporary and in the midst of all of it Jesus is weaving everything together for his purposes and for the good of those who love him. If you find yourself with twitchy feet, or a racing mind exert control on yourself and look at Jesus. Read the resurrection narratives, ask the Spirit to fill you again, do whatever is necessary to fix your thoughts on the faithful powerful love of Jesus.

Look at the church. OK, it’s easy to look at the faults of the church. It is amazing to me how many people allow past painful experiences of the church completely define their view. We’ve been hurt by church in the past… we spent three years utterly crushed by it. I’m serious; I was utterly crushed. But then - you know what - you can choose to forget the bad stuff - to get ministry for it and then put it down - and look instead at the utterly wonderful stuff there is in the church. The church is a beautiful company of sinners being transformed by the Spirit of Jesus. In the church you see staggering acts of perseverance, of generosity, of faithfulness. In the church you can find fun, healing friendships who put the courage of God in you to stand and remain in hope-filled worship of Jesus. In the church you can share your greatest fears and somehow find them dissolved and dissipated in the prayers of people you don’t even know that well. This is going to sound harsh but, you know what, we’ve seen it to be true over and over again - if the roars of the lion cause you to flee from the church you are actually running to your death. You will tell yourself all kind of reasons why this isn’t the case (I need some time with Jesus not an institution; I’ve got too much going on right now etc etc) but those are lies sent by the devil to try to lure you into his grasp. Choose to look at the church and love the church; that is how you stand firm against fear.

Look forwards. Finally, a key piece of practical advice given by the New Testament over and over again is to forget what is past and to press on to what is ahead. This isn’t about denying the past, but it about the bias in your thinking. Do you think more about things that have happened to you or about what God is wanting to do in you and through you today, tomorrow and in the coming years? We need to find ways to step out of ‘just dealing with what is in front of us’ or mulling over and over past mistakes. You can develop a whole range of habits to do that. But one of the best ways is in fact to serve others, to choose to give yourself to the mission of Jesus. Give your time, give your money, spend your prayers on seeking to make disciples of others. If you do that you find a simple faith rising far above your fear and your confusion. We don’t quite know why that is other than sacrificial service of others is what we as humans were made for and as we do what we are made for everything just seems to feel more ‘at peace’. And, of course, the biggest thing we look forwards to is the return of Jesus. I wonder how much you really think about that? It seems to me that the early church thought about the Coming Day nearly every day. Certainly each week they seemed to dwell again on their sure and certain hope that Jesus will swallow up all that is dark red and establish his Glorious Golden Kingdom all across the earth. When you find yourself struggling - or you see others who are doing so - choose to look forwards not back.

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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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On losing like Jesus

On Saturday Juventus lost the Champions League. On Thursdays some of us will lose the election. This morning we temporarily lost our dog. On Sunday morning people woke up to the news that they had lost friends or family members to the terrorist attack, or to sickness, or to accidents, or the hundreds of other daily tragedies that don’t get reported in the news. Losing is a part of life; sometimes profound, life-shaking loses and sometimes small insignificant ones. The bible is a gritty, sweaty, earthy kind of book that constantly and repeatedly grubs around in the bitter reality of loss and pain. We want to be a church that does the same. We want people to find in our services and in our small groups and in each of us people who tell it like it is, but who have a hope and a resilience that points to the One above. Basically we want to be a church and to be a people like Jesus. So today we want to encourage you to think about this; ‘how do we lose like Jesus’? Here are 5 ways Jesus dealt with loss and thoughts on what that might mean for us:

Jesus expected loss. As his life turns sour Jesus’ greatest friends abandon him and one actively betrays him to his death. On the surface of things it must have looked like his whole life’s work had come to nothing. All loss can speak that claim over our lives, breeding hopelessness in us. But Jesus was not rocked by his loss because he knew his Father had warned him about it in the scriptures. Our Father has also warned us that we will suffer and lose in this age. Loss is part of life and we should expect it. Especially if we support Crystal Palace.

Jesus expressed his loss in shocking ways. One of the most shocking things about Jesus is the extent to which he spoke out his loss. In the garden of Gethsemane he begs his Father to take him out of his losing situation. He begs so hard he sweats blood. On the cross he cries out ‘My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?’. This is fascinating; Jesus remains silent through so much of his trial but then speaks out a phrase which could so easily have been seen as a crisis of faith, an expression doubt, a statement of failure. When we are suffering loss it is easy to try to deny feelings, to try to keep on a brave face. Jesus didn’t do that; in front of everyone he expressed his sense of loss in shockingly honest and brutal ways. It is good for us to do the same.

Jesus encountered God in loss. In his cry of dereliction on the cross Jesus is, of course, quoting Psalm 22, placing himself in the great Hebrew tradition of speaking out laments. The key thing about laments is that they direct their frustration to God himself, not to the human perpetrators of the loss or pain. When we suffer loss it is tempting to lash out at the people we blame, trying to claw back a small sense of victory by slagging off those who seem to have beaten us. Lots of people will be doing this on Friday. This lashing out is sin which, ultimately, only worsens our loss. But when we bring our feelings to God, and when we call on him to sort the situation out (even in an angry way), we find profound encounters with him.

Jesus uses loss to transform us. Jesus was crucified… then he rose. On the cross Jesus lost… but somehow he won. After he is resurrected Jesus first shows himself to Mary Magdalene (you can read it in John 20). Mary is weeping outside Jesus’ empty tomb, her faith and her hope lie in puddles of tears at her feet. In every meaning of the word, Mary has lost. Jesus, in a way that seems quite cruel considering what he knows, calls her ‘woman’ and asks why she is crying. But Jesus isn’t actually being cruel to Mary; he is leading her into transformation. By calling her ‘woman’ and asking her why she is crying Jesus acknowledges the de-humanising, faith-sapping nature of her loss. Jesus stands with this poor woman in her most wretched place but then, almost out of the blue, he calls her “Mary”. That word changed her life. Jesus leads Mary through her utter loss into the glorious truth that she is loved and known by him. If you are suffering loss you need to know that Jesus is with you, Jesus is loving you and he will use the loss to deepen your knowledge of him. If you are suffering loss you need to know that Jesus will lead you out of it transformed.

Jesus uses loss to push us into mission. Something loss can do is turn us inward, to encourage us to pull up the drawbridge and just look after number one for a while. Jesus absolutely didn’t do that. We aren't not talking about denying our sense of loss or just carrying on regardless (see points 2 & 3). But in the midst of loss Jesus always increased his mission to rescue others. After he hears of the murder of his cousin John the baptist he feeds the 5000. At the tomb Jesus immediately sends Mary to be a missionary to the disciples. Paul, in 2 Corinthians talks about how he has gone through extreme depression and oppression, but that God has used the sense of loss to increase his calling to comfort the depressed and oppressed in the world. When we lose in this age - whether it is a football game or a loved one or an election - it reminds us of the deep sense of loss that billions are experiencing every day. And, more than that, it acts as a signpost to the extreme sense of loss all those outside of Jesus will feel on that day when he returns. And so, when we lose, the Spirit of God encourages us to use that as an impetus to mission, to rescue, to show others that even in great loss an even greater hope can be found.

Jesus shows us a liveable and doable way of coping with loss. He doesn’t pretend it is easy or quick or straightforward, but it is real and it does work. We want to be a church that does the same. So we encourage you; let’s learn to lose like Jesus.

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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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On defeating evil... by praying!

The early church was united in understanding Jesus as the defeater of evil.

‘The Son of God came to destroy the works of the evil one’. 1 John 3:8

But did he manage it? When we see so much evil in our world - from terrorism to deception, to everyday indifference to one another - we may find ourselves asking that question. We’ve worked hard to try to equip you with the theology of the Now and Not Yet of the Kingdom (what we refer to as Grubby Orange) which is the biblical explanation for how Jesus can have destroyed the works of the evil one and yet they still rage on. If you don’t get that yet it’s OK; it took me ages to get it as well. I suggest dropping in on a small group and ask people to explain it to you (you may find out you are not alone in not quite getting it yet… hahaha)

But, for this post I want to stress that theology should lead to action, knowing should lead to doing. And our knowledge of the Grubby Orange should cause us to pray.

Jesus said our prayer causes his defeat of evil to be made real in the world. If you don’t believe me think again about the Lord’s prayer when Jesus calls his people to pray “Thy Kingdom come.... Deliver us from the evil one”. Only Jesus could inflict the death-blow upon the devil, but then he encourages us to use our prayers to enact the follow-up operation to his victory.

In Mark 9 (which we looked at on Sunday) Jesus identified prayer as the key to casting evil out of others. In Ephesians, which is the book of the bible that sets out God’s plans for his church in the Grubby Orange, Paul calls the people again and again to defeat evil through prayer; expectant prayer, hopeful prayer, armoured-up prayer.

The Spirit is stirring us to pray more as a church.

The beauty about prayer is that it can be done in so many different ways and in so many different places. And the beauty about prayer is that even the newest Christian among us has the same access to the power of God as the greatest prayer warriors in the world. Jesus said we only need a mustard seed of faith to move mountains. One great preacher whose name I have forgotten said “Satan trembles with fear when he sees the weakest Christian on his knees in prayer”. I like that. It’s true.

Can we encourage you to press into prayer and to trust that it is working mighty things even when you cannot see them. Prayer is one of the most free and easy acts granted to humans, so just go for it. Seriously, just go for it!

Here’s a few ideas for how we as a community could press into prayer:

Come on Thursday evening to our Thy Kingdom Come night at the Catholic Church of St Columba, Queenhill Road CR2 8DW. 64 or 433 bus stop pretty much outside (Queenhill Road stop). We will spend the evening singing our prayers. Every time we do this we find God meeting us in powerful ways.

Join together with others to pray; Jesus is always with us and all prayer is amazingly powerful but he told us that when 2 or 3 are gathered he is present in an even greater way (Matt 18:19-20). If you do join with others make it fun and creative; try to avoid the “death by prayer circle”!

Read Pete Greig’s books “Red Moon Rising” and “Dirty Glory” which chart the history of the 24-7 prayer movement. The stories in these books are hugely inspiring. The 24-7 website is also full of great stories and videos.

Go on www.thykingdomcome.global to tie in with the Archbishop of Canterbury’s global prayer initiative.

Listen to podcasts on prayer. You know not everyone who sets themselves up as an expert of prayer really is - lots of them just seem to like being weird or to draw in all kinds of stuff that isn’t in the bible - but we’d recommend Mike Bickle’s stuff here https://mikebickle.org/resources/series/growing-in-prayer-part-1

Make it your goal to champion prayer and to encourage and encourage others that they can also see God do great things through their prayers… and let’s see what happens.

Pray; an easy-to-scorn plan for defeating evil! If Jesus’ hadn’t said it we would probably say it is stupid! But the testimony of the church ever since Jesus is that this humble, weak and seemingly ordinary activity truly can be an immensely powerful force for good in God’s world. Prayer can see the defeat of evil.

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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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On voting in general elections

It feels a bit like I’m sticking my head in a lion’s mouth by writing on politics; I’m praying I have the anointing of Daniel! But seriously, more than that, I’m hoping that I can give you a few simple tools for thinking about how to vote in general elections. I’m not setting myself up as an expert on politics - many of you know far more about this than I do - but, rather I’m trying to give you a bit of a biblical framework to use to discern much of what you might read in the papers (or on Facebook) at a time like this.

Set Politics and General Elections in the big story of History

The Bible constantly calls us to live in day in view of the big story of history. We live in the Now and the Not Yet of the Kingdom; the grubby orange. The world was glorious gold (Gen 1-2) but human rebellion against God turned it dark red (Gen 3); corruption, sin, selfishness and reckless ambition were and are rife (Romans 1, Romans 3:9-18). But God acted in Jesus to begin to restore his glorious golden goodness to the world (Romans 5-6). Jesus unleashed the Spirit upon the world; a Spirit who renews, restores, forgives and makes things right (Romans 8). We live in a battlefield between the dark red and the glorious gold that seeks to brighten it (Romans 7 & 8, 2 Cor 4, 1 John etc). This conflict renders our time grubby orange (sometimes a bit brighter, sometimes a bit darker) until the return of Jesus when all that is dark red will finally be banished from this world forever (Romans 8, Revelation etc). Here are a few key implications of this:

We know that neither a general election nor any acts of a political party will be a decisive moment in the history of the world. Jesus has already brought the decisive moment and he will return to bring it all to an end. In between his comings he gave his manifesto; for his people to pursue Spirit-filled acts of worship, mission and nurture. That is the most important manifesto around. Elections are moments for us to express an opinion on temporary manifestos and fleeting careers. The real work that will last is done outside of party politics.

At the same time as this, we know that during this age God gives authority to leaders - including political leaders - and that their power, while limited, is real (Romans 13, 1 Peter 2:13-17). A bad leader can cause a lot of pain for their population and God calls us to pray that our leaders will be wise and enable their people live in peace (1 Timothy 2:2). The implication of this is that we care about general elections and want someone of good character, competence and decent commitments to hold authority over us.

Because Jesus is our hope and only he will make the decisive shift in history we are circumspect in our endorsement of any human leader. We know even the best of us will be mixed; some good and some bad and that much of that is only revealed over time.

Crucially, when we vote we aren’t delegating either responsibility or blame for our society onto a few elected individuals; we know the Spirit has empowered us as his church to get stuck in with the people around us; stewarding and lovingly ruling over what is in front of us to brighten up the dark red. It’s not just our politicians responsibility to look after God’s world; Jesus has also given us that task. And we know that the real problem with the world is the stubborn sin in human hearts. This can’t be changed by government legislation or a rousing speech but by spirit-filled people co-labouring with God to invite hearts of stone to be remoulded into hearts of flesh.

For all these reasons we don’t regard any political party as the great enemy or as the great hope; we see them as helpful or unhelpful partners in the nurturing of God’s world while we wait for Jesus to return.

So how do we decide who to vote for? The key question is - in my mind - who do we believe will be the most helpful partner in nurturing God’s world in the Grubby Orange age? I want to suggest 3 criteria that I believe will be helpful in determining which of the parties or candidates will be best:

Character

Character is forged over years and is not easy to change quickly. It is therefore a reliable guide to how someone will respond to holding power. This is the primary underlying conviction of the bible’s criteria for leadership (1 Tim 3, Titus 1). When thinking about character we should dig past the superficial statements people make about Conservatives hating poor people and Labour hating rich people (or whatever the headlines might suggest) and try to work out what drives the people asking for our vote. There will be a mix of motives and character traits in each of them but above all I think we want to advocate for people who are honest and who stick to their commitments and principles even when it is difficult. Those with an evidence of just seeking power no matter what or who have clearly broken promises to those closest to them are going to be difficult people to trust with leading our country. It is hard to discern someone’s character behind all the spin that surrounds them but it is well worth taking time to do so.

Competence

A second area worth thinking about is competence; has the candidate or party got the ability to achieve what they say they will achieve. This is the second criteria the bible lays down for leaders (1 Tim 3, Titus 1). We may have a party who say things that sound attractive but have they demonstrated ability to implement what they are promising? In my view all parties make claims that they aren’t going to be able to fulfill, but some might be able to fulfill more than others.

Commitment to the value of every human being

The third criteria I believe it is right for us to vote on is the extent to which the parties clearly place a value on every human being. This value will play itself out in the parties’ economic policies and in their social policies.

Economic policies

Traditionally the economic policy of left-leaning parties such as Labour has sought to help economic ‘equality’. They have favoured policies which try to directly raise those in poverty out of poverty. This has often been done by seeking to redistribute wealth from the richest to the poorest. If you look at the Old Testament economic laws for Israel, they would tend to support this kind of policy (which isn’t surprising as Labour developed out of the Methodist awakening in the UK).

Traditionally the economic policy of right-leaning parties such at the Conservatives has sought to help economic ‘equality of opportunity’. They have favoured policies which try to give every person (including those in poverty) the opportunity to achieve prosperity. This has often been done by seeking to focus on education and through establishing a safe and stable society. If you look at the New Testament prayers that government primarily lets people get on with their lives in peace, you could decide that ‘equality of opportunity’ is the commitment you want to vote for.

I believe that either commitment could, if done well, assert the inherent value of every human being. But, are they being done well? And if not, which party - in your view - continues to assert the value of every person? I believe that is a hugely important question you should be asking of the economic policies of the parties.

Social policies

Parties of all colours have increasingly been making commitments in the area of social policy which I believe fundamentally deny the intrinsic value of every human being.

A commitment to general human rights was hard fought and won for us by great Christians from the past. We pray that God raises up more Christians today who advocate for the rights of every single individual just because they are human.

But recently a trend has developed for people to campaign for the rights of one particular group of people over and against the rights of others. Feminist campaigners lobbied for the extension of widespread abortions, asserting that the rights of women need to be championed over the rights of unborn children (who they wrote off as not fully human). Free market campaigners lobbied for the rights of shareholders, asserting that the rights of the owners of companies need to be championed over the rights of those who work for them (who they write off as ‘factors of production’). Campaigners on multiple topics asset the rights for people to change their bodies or change their family relationships, prioritising a person’s ‘right of self-expression’ over the community in which they already have commitments. Xenophobic campaigners have lobbied for the closing of borders or the attack on foreign nations, asserting the rights of those in a nation to restrict the use of its resources only to those currently living in the nation while at the same time trying to exploit resources held elsewhere.

In this grubby orange age this campaigning and legislating is neither particularly new nor unexpected; it is the outworking of human sin. But this sin fundamentally denies the God-created nature of all human beings and is grotesque before Him. As people who have a vote on such things, I believe we should consider very carefully who we endorse, trying to support whichever party is most committed to the intrinsic value of every human being. I know this is complex but I believe the Holy Spirit and your conscience will guide you.

Conclusion

Like I said, I’m not an expert on politics and I know many of us care deeply about it, but I hope this article helps us take steps towards being a church where we can both disagree on who to vote for and agree on the foundational biblical principles by which we live. But more than that, it’s my hope that we continue to be a church who actively engages with the well-being of our society not only through voting in general elections but through rolling up our sleeves and getting involved with the people around us, through the power of the Spirit stewarding and loving them with the glorious gold of the Kingdom of Jesus.

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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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On how to learn and grow

From a recent Ford Motor Company advert – ‘Time to unlearn….’

Having spent a life in education as a pupil, headteacher, lecturer, besuited bureaucrat and sometime teacher trainer, my first response to being asked to write about a topic based on ‘how to learn’ was to stop and ponder just how I learn in different contexts and arenas and how any of those thoughts might be of any conceivable use to anyone else.

At the end of the day, our approaches to learning are most likely to be formed of a mix of the following:

Listening learners (Auditory) (Parent to child ‘This stove can burn you ..’. Reponse: Heard mum, believed the information, and never ever touched a stove!)

Seeing learners (Visual) (Response: Watched their brother touch the stove, and never ever touched it.)

Touch/experience learners (Kinaesthetic) (Response: Touched the stove, but only once!)

So, there’s the generally acceptable theory – a bit dry I’ll admit but as VAK it covers the bases and if we pause to stand back and reflect, we can probably recall and identify with a range of learning cameos within our own lives and the lives of our children, partners and friends.

Typically, I’m a mix of learning styles: visual (you’ve got to show me over and over exactly how it works and more importantly what it looks like), listening (I love to listen and reflect later, all spoiled by degrees of impatience) and touch/experience (put my finger in the 1959 toploading Parnell washing machine electric wringer, just because, plus a tendency to poke spiders and run away).

Find a helpful ‘learning context’

As well as evolving a basic idea of our natural style of learning, it’s worth experimenting with different contexts in which we try to do our learning.

I’ve never loved things being too structured in my learning life but I do like starting points so, consider the following when it comes to any form of learning:

Set small achievable goals (say, 30 minutes a day for prayer or bible study; seeking out, spending time and/or making contact with a friend or colleague who you know is going through a challenging time; or simply time to stop and reflect or meditate)

Plan your learning and jot down the steps you need to take in order to achieve your goal, and time manage yourself as best you can

Be motivated and, above all, make learning within any context or style a predominantly enjoyable and truly worthwhile experience

Be pragmatic and if learning and reflection upon received teaching and ideas occurs when you’re in a traffic jam or the steam room, then so be it, that’s fine

Most of my reading, reflection and writing takes with a backdrop of either Radio 4 or Blondie with the point being that we can choose as to whether we want to be alone, in a busy pub or within or within our home group – once again, the choice and match is up to you

Set a reward for yourself and just plan for a spot of indulgence .. you choose!

Until now, I’ve never existed in or been part of a worshipping community like Vineyard where at long last I’m discovering the power and truth of God’s Word and how it can change my life, day in and week out. Sundays full of food, fellowship, worship and teaching sets me up for mid-week home group and a chance to study in more depth, pray and reflect. It allows my particular blend of VAK learning to be exercised and my learning and experiences to be enhanced and enriched, let alone creating a fit with the four bullets above. Put simply, the whole cycle gets me going and keeps me going.

Let’s remember that there are simply no barriers to learning provided we’re motivated and happy to work at a level which we’re comfortable with. That said, the biggest challenge might well be making that initial time in our busy, hectic and, at one level, faintly ridiculous helter-skelter daily lives, in order to study that which has the power to change our lives and move us towards what God wants us to be.

Reflect if you will upon Proverbs 4 20-22: ‘My son, attend to my words .. for they are life to those who find them ..’.

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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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On Ed Sheeran

Ok, so this isn’t totally on Ed Sheeran but it is a bit…

If you don’t know who Ed Sheeran is then you are in the exception. Ed Sheeran is a 26 year old English singer-songwriter who is taking over the music world... and maybe the rest of the world as well. In March 2017 Ed Sheeran released his third album ‘divide’ and the 16 songs on it immediately jumped into the top 20 songs being bought in the UK. He also topped the charts in Australia and Germany and was the first person ever to have two singles debut in the US top 10. He was recently voted one of the most influential people in the UK and is on the front cover / interview page of many magazines websites and TV shows.

Why do we care about this? Well, if you were asked to identify who is a ‘teacher’ or ‘preacher’ in the UK today; someone who forms people’s opinions and shows them a way to live, you could do worse than identify Sheeran. Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn might be vying for your vote right now but more people can probably tell the story of Ed Sheeran’s heartbreak over Ellie Goulding - and what he did with it - than describe Conservative or Labour policy. The stories he tells - and he is a genius storyteller - drift into people’s minds and become significant in how people think about relationships and ‘life under the sun’.

Followers of Jesus have traditionally done 3 things with ‘preachers’ such as Sheeran:

1) Actively close out their influence by switching them off / pushing them away / refusing to engage with them and listening to alternative ‘Christian’ voices instead.

2) Listening to them and -consciously or subconsciously - emulating them, seeing their influence and success as proof that they know how life works and “Life to the Full” is found in being like them.

3) Trying to listen to them with discernment; celebrating and enjoying what is in tune with the creative goodness of God but also identifying and protecting against the influence of those things that run counter to Jesus’ Kingdom.

We want to encourage you to practice the third of these; it seems to be what Jesus meant by being ‘in the world but not of the world’ and what Paul did in Athens (Acts 17)

So what is to be celebrated and enjoyed about Ed Sheeran? This is my very personal list - you might want to add or remove some and that is fine by me:

+ His music is powerful and evocative and points to the depth of humanity as made by God; reminding us that we are not just rational beings but deep emotional creations

+ His creativity points to God’s creativity. He plays on words, finds phrases and plays tunes that are pleasing to listen to. As humans we love creativity because our God is a creator.

+ He tells stories about life as it is. He is honest and authentic pointing to our desire for real relationship and a lack of pretence. He points out that there are things that are not right in this world

+ He communicates hope and fun. His stories and his music often identify angst and challenge in life but he - a ginger haired bloke on a guitar - can sing about them in front of crowds of people. Something about that communicates hope, that we can survive and move on in life even after major struggle.

What are ways that we might not want to emulate Sheeran or follow his lead? I am by no means an expert on all his music and I don’t think our gospel calls us to focus on the negatives in others but here are a couple of things that I wouldn’t want to follow Sheeran into:

+ Affirming random sexual encounters. Sheeran speaks of the pain of sexuality being abused or going wrong but equally seems to affirm sexual experimentation with multiple, random people as part of life. I think Jesus shows us a better, more satisfying way. I know from experience that Jesus shows us a better, more satisfying way.

+ Not really dealing with baggage. Sheeran identifies ‘baggage’ he has picked up in his life. He sings about it and talks about ways he has tried to manage it. Good on him; that’s better than hiding it and pretending it isn’t there. But I want to point to Jesus as one who can actually take baggage off us. Jesus’ voice, his forgiveness, his healing, his direction has set me free from my baggage and my pain and I never want to lose my focus on him as the one who wants to continue to do that.

+ Seeking popularity. Sheeran goes further than almost any other popstar to live a normal life (which is one of the main reasons I think we can affirm so much about him) but at the same time his marketing and promotion work, and the ambitions he talks about, point to him actively seeking popularity. I struggle with the allure of popularity myself and I’m learning the dangers of it. Living for the praises of people is a horrendous thing to be yoked to. Jesus talked about the freedom that comes from humbly serving those in front of you and not being beholden to their opinions. Jesus called us to value hidden things that the Father only sees and to value the praises of God more than the praises of men. I guess Sheeran may do all these things - I don’t have a window onto his private life - but I think the ‘noise’ around him pulls us into the idolisation of celebrity and visibility and I know Jesus shows us a road so much better than that.

So there you go, a few brief ideas to try to point you to the bigger idea - that we are people called to shine the glorious gold of the Kingdom into the dark red of our broken and corrupted world. We are convinced that we can best do this as Jesus did it - not denouncing, rejecting or ignoring everything that is outside of Christ, nor embracing, consuming and emulating it either, but trying to find a way to use discernment and to celebrate what is good, what in our culture are signposts to the eternal nature and divine power of our God and to call people to follow those signposts and ‘come to the life that is real life’; living increasingly in the awesome love of Jesus.

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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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On Easter and Racism

On 31 March the Kurdish Iranian boy, Reker Ahmed, was hospitalised after a violent attacked by a mob of Croydonites. Reports on the attack all suggest it was racially motivated. On 17 March American drone strikes on targets in Mosul, Iraq are reported to have caused ‘collateral damage’ of the death of 200+ civilians. This is not an isolated event; reports suggest that civilian deaths around US drone strikes have significantly increased since President Trump loosened rules around drone strikes that were intended to protect civilians. Trump has repeatedly stated that he will take such severe action in order to save American lives. By this logic, American lives are more valuable than Iraqi ones.

You will also be aware of the ‘Black Lives Matter’ campaign group in the US and of the immigration aspect of the Brexit debate. Perhaps you have experienced racist attitudes yourself.

What does all this have to do with celebrating Easter?

We looked last week about how true celebration of Easter doesn’t stop at singing rousing songs about the resurrection but follows through into deep, daily friendship with God, But Easter did not just break down the barrier between people and God, it also smashed the dividing wall between one human and another. Easter attacked racism.

In Ephesians 2 Paul, when talking about the former division between Jew and Gentile puts it like this:

14 (Jesus) himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, 15 ... His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace.

In Galatians 3 Paul puts it even more starkly:

26 So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.28 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Easter was the moment when Jesus broke down barriers between people and begun establishing one international co-equal family. Easter was the most significant anti-racist act ever performed. In dying on the cross and rising again to make people children of God, Jesus effectively picked people out of their human-defined birth category - British, Kurdish, Iranian, white, black etc - and placed them into a new God-defined birth category - child of God. While this new category may not be detectable in the colour of skin, language, accent, clothing or habits - these stay gloriously diverse in Jesus’ family - it is nevertheless the primary defining category for anyone who is a Christian.

If we really want to celebrate Easter we must therefore ask ourselves whether we have allowed this God-defined category to trump all others in our judgements. Do we show greater allegiance to people born in the same country as us or to people re-born of the same God as us? Who do we invite out for coffee? Who do we sit next to in church? Who do we naturally gravitate to when making small talk? Do we actively and deliberately fight to embrace and befriend Christians of other nations or races, or do we allow the superficial differences to get in the way and keep us spending time with people most like us?

Extrapolating this trend; if we really take celebrating Easter seriously how does that affect the way we view people from other nations who do not yet know Jesus? Do we define them as immigrants (which as a term suggests the nation of birth is the defining factor in a person’s identity) or do we define them as lost sinners in need of forgiveness and embrace by our God?

Jesus and his Apostles were ruthless in making sure their beliefs - their understanding of what Jesus was doing through his death - flowed through into their actions. If we want to follow in their footsteps and truly celebrate Easter it must cause us to have no hint of racism or ethnic-preference in anything we do.

I’m not naive enough to suggest that if we all celebrate Easter in this way then suddenly all racist thugs and war-mongering politicians will disappear from our world; they will always be with us. But we will be doing something that is pleasing to our God and honouring of Jesus’ death. And we will also - in our own small way - be peacemakers in our land. And that is something that our land clearly needs.

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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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On Celebrating Easter (part 1 of 2)

You probably saw in the news last week that John Sentamu, Anglican Archbishop of York (and a deeply valued friend of the Vineyard Movement), spoke out against Cadbury’s and the National Trust for what he saw as their marginalisation of Easter. Theresa May also joined in with the debate. Archbishop Sentamu was making a significant comment about the dangers of creeping secularisation in the UK but it got me thinking about how we, as followers of Jesus, might want to celebrate Easter. Is it about protecting the sanctity of a few holy days…. or maybe something else?

Easter is generally thought of as being the time in the calendar year when we celebrate Jesus’ atoning death on the cross and then recognise his resurrection as the proof of his divinity. But in fact it is something much more.

Easter was the history-changing moment that confirmed that the Kingdom of God had dawned on the earth. This coming of the Kingdom fundamentally changes your (and any Christian’s) day-to-day experience of life. Because of the resurrection of Jesus and the subsequent outpouring of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost you can experience much of ‘eternal life’ right now. If you read through that sentence twice because you thought sounded bonkers then you are right! But it is still true.. Jesus summarised eternal life as knowing daily friendship with the only true God and Jesus the King who he sent (John 17:3). So, it would be entirely appropriate to say that Easter fundamentally changed your day-to-day experience; in a way that was impossible beforehand, you can now know deep, daily friendship with God.

Where does this take us? Well, celebrating Easter does, of course, include singing rousing songs on Easter Sunday and preaching on 1 Corinthians 15… but the truly great celebration of Easter is to daily enjoy the shocking friendship with God that he is offering to you. Can I encourage you to really think about that? Is deep friendship with God a lived reality for you?

As a church we are organised around and driven by that one crazily simple idea; what if ordinary (and sometimes sinful) people like us actually lived in deep friendship with God…. what would that do to our lives and our town?

As with all friendships, a constant and deep affection for God comes through attention; the more we find ways to give God attention and recognise the attention he is giving us, the deeper our friendship will become. And as with all friendships, the way to grow a constant, life-giving interaction with God varies from person to person and from time to time. For all of us the Bible sits underneath our understanding of the One True God but we can engage with the bible in so many ways; never feel bad about one method getting stale, just move on to another one. But through and beyond the scriptures, the fun and celebration really begin when we find ways turn our attentions to our Creator all across our life. Maybe for you it is going for bike rides, or sitting quietly in a room, or dancing, or eating, or laughing with friends, or watching a film or speaking in tongues, or even doing your work!

Because of Easter there almost no restriction upon the way you can enjoy befriending your God. There is so much freedom. And there is such a profound invitation for you - yes you - to enjoy deep friendship with God. We warmly encourage you to press into this friendship, and to keep on doing so even when Cadbury’s cream eggs have disappeared from our shelves.

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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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On helping a loved one through depression

[guest post by Liz Mott]

Did you ever see Lord of the Rings? As a nearest and dearest of someone with depression you might have that feeling of being relatively safe although in a besieged city of Minas Tirith with the screaming orcs of life shut outside the wall...things can't get any worse, you still have hope and then....the gates of Mordor swing open and your loved one says "Darling, I'm going to kill myself" ...the forces of darkness are unleashed and your protective walls crumble and hope drains through your feet.

At this point you have nothing left but to cry out to God...Psalm 31 verses 21,22

" Praise be to the Lord, for he showed me the wonders of his love when I was in a city under siege. In my alarm I said, "I am cut off from your sight". Yet you heard my cry for mercy when I called to you for help".

When you cry out, even when the situation seems hopeless, God hears you...Jesus hears you.

Depression and the cloud that surrounds it affects not only the person who is unwell but all those around them...like another entity in the room...the air becoming thick with negative energy. Depression is miserable for everyone. A sense of powerlessness can be all pervading with a fear of being swamped and overwhelmed by the events unfolding before you....but.. you as a spouse, parent,sibling, are important and your wellbeing and survival is essential to your loved one. Remember when you think you're about to be covered by an ocean of despair that God called you by name...you are his and the waters will not cover you nor the flames devour you...Isaiah 43. 1-3 (in whatever translation you like)

" But now this is what the Lord says.........."Do not fear for I have redeemed you! I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you: and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned,the flames will not set you ablaze".

There are as may varieties of the expression of depression as there are people. Every relative, supporter or caring friend will find their own most helpful strategies for surviving the turmoil of illness and for helping in the recovery of the person they love. Below are a few things that have helped me.

+ As the nearest person to someone with depression your own sanity is essential... so keep up a continuous dialogue with God, "practicing the presence of God" (Brother Lawrence) so that when your Mordor moment comes you can immediately say..."ok God....you're in charge...help...what am I supposed to do now?"...or words to that effect (God can cope with the worst possible things that you can say). Developing an open and trusting relationship with God is essential, after all....where else is there to go?

+ Make sure that you have friends and activities outside the house to combat that trapped feeling. Depression and mental illness is a destroyer of relationships between spouses and friends. The bible is clear about confessing to each other (James 5:16 NIV..."therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed") and in this instance I think it could include "off loading" on to trusted friends. If you no longer have people you can trust...approach homegroup leaders, MIND (MIND in Croydon - infoline 020 8668 2210, website - mindincroydon.org.uk who provide among other things a carer support service); approach Pastors who can direct you to someone appropriate to listen and pray.

+ If you are a friend....keep in touch with the depressed person and whoever is with them at home. Someone with depression may not be able to tolerate being around people so be sensitive...texting the depressed person regularly without expecting a reply can be very helpful to prevent feelings of being abandoned. The carer may feel similarly isolated and may also appreciate being texted, phoned, invited out for coffee.

+ Not all depression is as dramatic as described above...a lot of the time depression takes the form of low mood and irritability...everyone is unique and every situation is different. For all involved...try to develop a silver linings habit...in all things praise Him. (Ephesians 5:20. "Always giving thanks for all things". 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing; In everything give thanks; for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus". Philippians 4:8 ...."whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things"). Life may not be perfect, may not be what we expected, but my experience is that God provides silver linings, hope. Back to the Lord of the Rings.....this is not weird Elvish stuff but a good Christian defence against the grinding oppression of depression.

+ If as a relative, if you find yourself faced by seemingly never ending waves of distress, with a sense of being held by a spider thread over a chasm of despair, afraid to move or cry out even to God in case that fine thread breaks..remember..the thread can't break...its God who holds you and he can't let go. Dare to talk to him immediately..scream shout, let it all out.....he looks upon you with powerful compassion .

+ Have a safety scripture to hang on to....mine is always Isaiah 43. 1-3.(NIV) "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. When you pass through the rivers they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour".

+ Contact someone and talk and pray and receive prayer. The Holy Spirit wants to bring you healing, peace that can't be understood and hope for the future.

+ If you have the energy do something outside the house...go for a walk, go for a coffee, read books in the library.

+ Your loved one/friend may be struggling with taking medication, doctors, professionals, the confusion of the system. They may have feelings of being undeserving, fear of possible side effects or feel they can deal with the situation on their own without help from any one and that each attempt to help them belittles and infantilises them. It is important to support them taking medication as prescribed and to then help them discuss those concerns with their doctor. Encourage them to write down their questions before appointments and to write down the doctors answers. Offer to accompany them to appointments; respectfully and kindly listen to their fears and anxieties.

You and your mental health are important but ..not everyone has friends or people they can trust. If this is the case please ask someone to pray with you or ask a Pastor to direct you to an appropriate person; you may be surprised at the number of people willing to help.

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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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On helping a loved one with depression

At this point you have nothing left but to cry out to God...Psalm 31 verses 21,22

" Praise be to the Lord, for he showed me the wonders of his love when I was in a city under seige. In my alarm I said, "I am cut off from your sight". Yet you heard my cry for mercy when I called to you for help".

When you cry out, even when the situation seems hopeless, God hears you...Jesus hears you.

Depression and the cloud that surrounds it affects not only the person who is unwell but all those around them...like another entity in the room...the air becoming thick with negative energy. Depression is miserable for everyone. A sense of powerlessness can be all pervading with a fear of being swamped and overwhelmed by the events unfolding before you....but.. you as a spouse, parent,sibling, are important and your wellbeing and survival is essential to your loved one. Remember when you think you're about to be covered by an Ocean of despair that God called you by name...you are his and the waters will not cover you nor the flames devour you...Isaiah 43. 1-3 (in whatever translation you like)

There are as may varieties of the expression of depression as there are people. Every relative, supporter or caring freind will find their own most helpful strategies for surviving the turmoil of illness and for helping in the recovery of the person they love. Below are a few things that have helped me.

+ Not all depression is as dramatic as described above...a lot of the time depression takes the form of low mood and irritability...everyone is unique and every situation is different. For all involved...try to develop a silver linings habit...in all things praise Him. (Ephesians 5:20. "Always giving thanks for all things". 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing; In everything give thanks; for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus". Philippeans 4:8 ...."whatever is true, whatever is honerable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things"). Life may not be perfect, may not be what we expected, but my experience is that God provides silver linings, hope. Back to the Lord of the Rings.....this is not weird Elvish stuff but a good Christian defence against the grinding oppression of depression.

+ If as a relative, if you find yourself faced by seemingly never ending waves of distress, with a sense of being held by a spider thread over a chasm of despair, afraid to move or cry out even to God in case that fine thread breaks.. remember..the thread can't break...its God who holds you and he can't let go. Dare to talk to him immediately..scream shout, let it all out.....he looks upon you with powerful compassion .

+ Contact someone and talk and pray and receive prayer. The Holy Spirit wants to bring you healing, peace that can't be understood and hope for the future. If you have the energy do something outside the house...go for a walk, go for a coffee, read books in the library.

+ Your loved one/friend may be struggling with taking medication, doctors, professionals, the confusion of the system. They may have feelings of being undeserving, fear of possible side effects or feel thay can deal with the situation on their own without help from any one and that each attempt to help them belittles and infantilises them. It is important to support them taking medication as prescribed and to then help them discuss those concerns with their doctor. Encourage them to write down their questions before appointments and to write down the doctors answers. Offer to accompany them to appointments; respectfully and kindly listen to their fears and anxieties.

0 notes

vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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On Depression

[Guest post by Steve Mott]

I suffered from depression for 31 years. 5 months ago God healed me completely. I am still taking the medication that I am prescribed by my Doctor. I will only gradually cut it down and stop it under their supervision and guidance. I do not believe that God asks us to go against their advice. Tom asked Liz and I to write this to try to offer some help and guidance to those who may suffer from depression as well as their relatives and those who love them. This week addresses those who may be suffering from depression. Next week we will address the needs of relatives and friends who are caring for someone who is depressed.

Depression is a mental illness on a spectrum ranging from transient low mood which can be cheered up with cup of tea and a chat to profound immobilizing chronic despair with thoughts of death. Sometimes you can identify stresses or triggers which may have been partially responsible. At other times there just don’t seem to be any and it just descends.

Overall the best description that I can think of to describe how it feels to be depressed is that instead of seeing the world through rose colored glasses you are seeing it through pooh colored glasses.

Some of the things that you may experience are:

Feeling physically slowed down and lacking in energy.

Emotional detachment.

Loss of interest and finding it hard to enjoy anything.

Feeling guilty and ashamed. Feeling that it is all your fault and that you have let other people down.

Feelings of being unlovable.

Inability to tolerate the presence of others, even people you love.

You no longer want to be alive.

These are all valid feelings and experiences. God speaks into them by his word in the Bible.

No matter how bad a place you are in God remains with you. (Psalm 23.) Even and especially if the place that you are in feels like the Shadow of the Valley of Death. His presence can comfort you.

It can feel like you are on your own and that it will never end. God is still there with you. (Isaiah 43:1-3. "But now, this is what the Lord says - He who created you O Jacob, He who formed you O Israel; fear not for I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name. You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy one of Israel, your Saviour.")

It can be especially hard for Christians. You may feel that you have let God down; that you have sinned. Depression is not a punishment for sin, and it is not a sin in itself. God loves you and upholds you. (Romans 8:1"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.")

You may feel that God has abandoned you and no longer cares. He will never abandon you. (Hebrews 13:5 "God has said, never will I leave you or forsake you.")

You do not understand what is going on. Nothing makes sense. God says that He can and will lead you through all of it. (Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.")

You may feel that you are unable to have any relationship with God at all. He is not hurt or offended. He is still there even when you can’t feel or acknowledge Him.

Depression is an illness like any other. It is no different in that respect to diabetes or a heart condition. God does not disapprove of antidepressant medication. For some people it may be appropriate and very helpful.

If you visit your GP he may prescribe medication for you. Alternatively, he may feel that you need more specialist help and will refer you to see a Psychiatrist who will then assess and treat you. He will then review you on a regular basis. It is important to continue taking any medication that he may prescribe you until he tells you to stop taking it. Even when you feel better it is still necessary to take the medication for a further period. Some people relapse and become ill again if they stop taking their medication too soon.

If you feel that you are in urgent need of help you should go to your local A & E Department. Within their service is a specialist team called Psychiatric Liaison. Their role is to assess and recommend treatment for anyone who has urgent mental health needs. At Croydon University Hospital there is a good team. I used to work with them. There is often a long wait in A&E but is worth persevering and waiting to see the team.

Mild depression can be helped by caring and loving, talking and support. Increased regular exercise helps, even if you don’t feel like doing it. It may lift your burden a bit to talk to family or close friends and see what they can do for you instead of your needing to carry on doing it. Relaxation therapy sessions from CD’s or website downloads can be very effective. They don’t change anything materially but they can be very effective in helping you to feel less stressed. If you can, just leaving the house and going for a coffee with someone you feel comfortable with can help to break the oppression of spending the whole day at home.

Talking and praying with someone helps a lot. Listening to worship is good. You can soak it up and it helps to break the cycle of circular negative thinking.

Prayer is very important. God cares and He answers. If you feel unable to pray that is OK. Other people will still be praying for you.

Depression is foul and horrible. But God can and does heal people of depression. However, for 30 years I lived with it unhealed. We cannot second guess God. This does not mean that we shouldn't pray for healing. God loves you intensely in it and through it. He never abandons you or lets you go. You are cherished and loved by him always.

God has placed in my heart His passion to help people who are hurting emotionally. I have shared this with Tom and he has asked me to be available to talk with people. To listen to them and help them to see what is happening inside themselves. To help them to let go of their emotional hurts and pains and let the Holy Spirit minister to them. If you feel that this may be of help to you, please speak to Tom or email him. I am afraid that at the moment we are only able to offer this to men.

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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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On arguments and quarrels

Our society is overflowing with quarreling. Sociologists talk about society being more divided than ever and this is manifesting itself very clearly in politics. A depressing thing about many statements on Brexit, Scottish Indyref2 and pretty much anything President Trump says is their spirit of quarreling; to win an argument at all costs, often by showing how others are stupid or somehow evil. Quarreling isn’t just confined to politics. In 2011 the insurance company Esure conducted a survey of 3000 people finding that the average couple argue nearly 2500 times a year. And that didn’t include arguments with colleagues and friends and neighbours and others. Last week, Lesley and I argued over the mid-week mail. After I sent it out I asked her what she thought of it and - rather than swooning over my brilliance like I expected - she expressed surprise that I had sent it out without letting her check it first. So we traded our opinions on the matter!

The prevalence of arguments and quarrels raises the question “If we are serious about living for Jesus, what should we do about arguing?”. Many of us might jump to saying we should seek not argue at all, but I want to suggest that that is neither realistic nor, in fact, desirable. Yes, that’s right, I want to argue with you that sometimes it is good to argue! I’ll explain below:

The bible actually identifies two distinct ways of arguing; one that is clearly negative and to be avoided but another that is good and helpful.

The kind of arguing that the bible does clearly condemn is what I’ll call quarreling. Proverbs 20:3 says “It is to one’s honour to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.” And 2 Timothy 2 (one of the very letters in which Paul encourages Timothy to rebuke and correct others) Paul says “Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.” We see in these passages six characteristics of negative quarreling:

+ it is the overflow of someone who is always looking for a fight; they have a chip on their shoulder or a bone to pick with the world (or with a particular person or group of people) + it is often over things irrelevant to everyday life + it flares up quickly + it ends up not being kind to the other person, probably making identity statements about them such as ‘you always do X’ or ‘you are so Y’ + it isn’t done with a desire to help the other person but to win + it causes resentment with an issue becoming bigger than a relationship.

If we see this kind of approach to disagreement slipping into our relationships in any way, Jesus surely calls us to stop and step back, to repent and look at the other way this thing can be done.

And there is another way. We’ve been looking through Mark’s gospel on Sundays and nearly every chapter shows Jesus arguing with people, especially the religious leaders. Jesus - the model of perfect, sinless life - argued. Later in the New Testament, Paul writes letters to his churches arguing with them about their life-style or their beliefs and he actively encourages Timothy to argue others into the truth through correction and rebuke. There clearly is a good and helpful way to argue. Here are five characterisitcs of good arguing

+ love that is seeking the wellbeing of the other person is the clear motivator and is regularly stated as being such + listening and learning what the other is actually saying or has done is a constant foundational action + a different view is clearly expressed and a call to change is clearly issued but the desire is not to score points or ‘win’ but to nudge the other towards growth + any identity statements about the other person are unbelievably positive + space and time is built into the process with regular references to gentleness, patience and long-suffering all pointing to arguments not being resolved or even raised immediately but to be dealt with at a time and in a way that is going to be most conducive to growth.

I think many of us are handicapped by our belief that all arguing is bad. This short post hopefully encourages you to think about it a different way. Quarreling (as in the first list above) clearly is destructive, but arguing (as defined in the second list) can be hugely helpful. I’m deeply grateful to good people who argued with me again and again (and again!). They have asked helpful questions or made clear challenges to me when they’ve thought I’ve been in the wrong. Whether or not I’ve ended up agreeing with them, their desire to help me get things right has been one of the greatest sources of growth I’ve had in my life. If we were all to choose to embrace this good kind of arguing and try to use it in our homes, our workplaces and our friendships I suspect it would have a really life-giving effect.

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vineyarddiscipleship-blog · 8 years ago

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On communicating with masks

If you haven’t seen it already, it’s great fun to watch last week’s BBC interview with Professor Robert Kelly (if you google those words it will come up). But as well as being very funny it highlights something deeply interesting about communication; we are now, more than ever, used to communicating through ‘masks’. We can present an image of ourselves on a screen that is so unlike the reality that it is effectively a mask; we can choose exactly the photos we want for our profile pictures, we can describe ourselves with amusing or outlandish blurbs that have taken hours to perfect and are focussed on grabbing attention rather than communicating reality. We can arrange a camera angle to hide significant parts of ourselves and give an impression that something is an high-profile office when it is really our own spare bedroom, or that something is a normal activity for us when it is only a very rare treat. None of this applying of ‘masks’ is new and it isn’t necessarily all negative (some masking of our true selves in this grubby orange age is essential for survival and flourishing) but the extent to which masking has become normal and the discrepancy between the mask and the reality been exponentially increased by recent technological advances. The negative impact of this huge increase in everyday extreme ‘masking’ has been well documented by psychologists, pointing to the depressed emotions caused by scouring the seemingly extraordinary lives of our friends on Facebook and the wide-spread extension of FOMO (fear of missing out) which leaves people nervously addicted to their time-lines. When these masks are taken off (or are ripped off by our children!) it can either feel like a really healthy tonic or it can be deeply disillusioning. The credit to Professor Kelly is that he takes his de-masking with very good grace and consequently we can laugh with him at the ‘authenticity’ his kids have brought to him. But when a self-serving mask is taken off others (recent examples include politicians, bankers, sports people) and the image is shown to be deceptively different from the reality, anger and disillusionment result.

As followers of Jesus we are deeply committed to trying to build fun, healing friendships and to showing the light and love of Jesus to our communities. There are multiple aspects to this (we will no doubt look at many of them in the coming weeks) but today this topic of everyday extreme ‘masking’ seems especially relevant due to its highly corrosive effect upon fun, healing friendships. If we feel that we never really know the real person communicating with us (either on line or face to face) there is a major block to us and them finding healing through any kind of loving relationship. While I argue that the extent to which ‘masking’ is happening is new, the activity itself is not. Even in the New Testament church it was clearly present and in Romans 12 Paul gives some tips to the church on how they can counter it. Two particular pointers seem helpful for us today:

“Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves...

... love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honouring each other”

If we want to adopt this biblical wisdom, there are three quick questions we can ask ourselves to help us build fun, healing friendships with others in any context:

Am I being honest to myself about who I really am and what I’m really like? Many of us have very weird perceptions of ourselves; massively over-critical in some areas and blind to our pride in others. There is huge fruit in asking the Spirit to grow in you the classic understanding of us being simultaneously sinners saved by grace and saints being transformed into the likeness of Jesus.

Am I being honest to others about the real me? Again research (and shows such as the Apprentice, X Factor etc) show that many of us are blind to the fact that we are even presenting a masked version of ourselves. James talks about the bible being like a mirror to show us things like this. Also asking trusted friends (NOT just anyone) what they see in you can be helpful for beginning to identify the masks we are wearing.

Having said all of the above about our own masks, the biblical focus is actually much more on how can I take the focus off me presenting myself in a certain way and place it on me speaking honour of others? What is there that is good or impressive about people around me and how can I choose to focus my effort on show affection for that?

Finally, just as a closing caveat, it is obvious that at the other end of the spectrum a complete lack of ‘masking’ can also stand in the way of fun, healing friendships; I remember in a gym changing room one time a guy next to me casually striking up conversation while he was rubbing moisturiser all over his naked body... I would have preferred a little more discretion to get that friendship started! Jesus is again our great example in this; he didn’t always tell everyone everything but he did have an agenda to show his true self to people to build them up and bring fun and healing into their lives. If we lean strongly towards ‘unmasking’ ourselves regularly, we will without doubt become people who - like Jesus - bring the joy and life of the Kingdom to others.

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