vintageneptune92

[vintageneptune92]

Y’all…I am so stuck and I have horrible writer’s block. How do I push through this? I want to write but when I try to I just can’t. What is wrong with me?!

[vintageneptune92]

CHARLIE COX + White Shirt & Tattoos

Daredevil: Born Again Interview, 2025

[vintageneptune92]

Sorry I haven’t updated any of my works, this past month was super stressful at work. I am in the middle of Part 2 of Two Cent Men, I finally decided on the direction for Burn the Shadow. I had a few ideas but I had to flesh it out and decide.

I plan on picking back up with some of my other stories as well!💕

[vintageneptune92]

😆😆

Law and Order SVU: Season 18, Episode 10: Motherly Love

[vintageneptune92]

Burn the Shadow- 19

So I know technically Chief Dodd’s technically comes in later, but I couldn’t find the name of who his predecessor was. Since it’s my story, I figured I can do what I want. 😆

Anything in pink is explicit. This was written on my phone as always and not completely edited. I just wanted to get it posted.

Thank you for your likes, shares and feedback. 💕

Gia was finally feeling better. The bruising had healed and she had gotten the stitches taken out of her arm that morning. It was an ugly scar. Her doctor had given her some suggestions to minimize it. She did not want to see that scar every day and be reminded of what happened.

Sienna had tried calling multiple times. She had to ask Rita to ask her to stop. Rita must have talked some sense into her because she stopped calling. She and Grayson had texted a little. They decided to see each other after the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.

Rafael had convinced Gia to have his mother and grandmother over. She agreed, but told him only if Nick, Zara and his mother were invited. She was pretty sure Rafael would have let her invite the entire squad if she had suggested it. He was just happy she said yes.

He had also noticed she put all of the family photos away besides a few she had in frames. They went into the closet in the guest bedroom on the top shelf. She had explained it was actually her therapist's idea. Gia had been obsessing, over forgotten memories and things she had missed about her mother, but she also wasn't truly ready to keep digging. So for the time being, out of sight, out of mind. Truthfully, he was happy to see them gone. He hated seeing her torture herself.

Gia opened the door to the bar and saw Amanda sitting, waiting for her. She smiled when Amanda saw her. Rafael was working late on a case and Gia was going stir crazy. Amanda had texted if she wanted to meet up and she jumped at the chance. Amanda gave Gia a hug when she saw her.

"It's so good to see you. You look great." Gia laughed.

"Yeah, I looked like I was a beat up, the bruises I could cover, but the rib pain was awful. No matter which way I moved it bothered me." Gia ordered some sort of Martini that was the drink of the night. She wasn't in the mood for her usual.

"I uh, I heard you you took out your own stitches. I heard Barba telling Liv. He was incensed. I love that you keep him on his toes." Gia took a drink.

"Yeah, the little 'what the fuck' lines have definitely gotten a little deeper." Gia motioned in between her eyebrows.

"Can I...can I ask you something?" Gia nodded and motioned for her to continue. "Why Barba...what is it about him? Is he like really good in bed?" Gia choked on her drink as she laughed.

"You almost just killed me." Amanda started laughing herself.

"I don't mean to offend, I swear. I just...I had to ask." Gia shook her head, she wiped a tear that had snuck out from laughing so hard.

"Oh I know. I just haven't had a friend to talk to like this since Ali. To answer, yes, yes he is. But I didn't find that perk out until I was already all in" Amanda put her face in her hands and shook her head. "Listen, you asked."

"You're right, I did." Like Gia, Amanda hadn't had a friend she could trust in a long time, much longer than Gia.

"There wasn't just one thing, it was so many things, a lot of little things. Even when I thought I hated him, I didn't really. I felt drawn to him, we were just on a crash course to each other. I'm sure it would have gone differently if Ali hadn't died, but we would have ended up in the same spot. We just connected." Gia ordered another round of drinks for the two of them.

"I knew he had a thing for you. He used to get this look in his eye when he would watch you work. Putting together a profile or when you do that thing when you close your eyes to piece something together. He still looks at you like that." A small smile pulled at Gia's mouth.

"It's probably the same one I get when he delivers a really good summation. Or when he finds the weakness in the defense" It was Amanda's turn to laugh.

"Yeah, it's pretty much the same look. I still remember that look on your face during his first case for us when he let Adam Cain choke him. You jumped to your feet in concern, but once you knew he was okay, it was this look of curiosity and admiration."

"Yeah, looking back, that was when he got me. It just took me time to accept It." Amanda nodded taking a drink.

"But you're happy?" She asked after a moment.

"Despite everything that has happened? Yeah, I am. He makes me really happy." Amanda smiled and gripped her hand.

"Good, because if anyone deserves to be happy, it's you." Gia smiled back at her.

"What about you? Anyone special?" Amanda scoffed.

"Not since Nate. I'm good for a while." Gia sighed.

"For what it's worth, Rafael did not want to have to do that, especially not with you in the court room." Amanda waved her off.

"No, I know. He had no choice. I just wasn't especially happy with Nick." Gia rolled her eyes.

"Trust me, I have been on the receiving end of Nick's 'good intentions'. He can be infuriating. But you're doing okay?" Amanda nodded.

"Yeah I'm fine." Gia studied her face for a moment, not sure if she believed her or not but she wasn't going to push her.

"Well, if you ever feel not fine, I'm here to listen."

"I know. We should do this more often." Amanda quickly.

"Agreed." Gia smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Shit." Gia cursed as dropped her keys as she tried to unlock the door. As she stood back up after getting them off the ground, Rafael opened the door with a smirk, causing Gia to jump.

"Welcome home, Detective." He stepped aside allowing her to come in.

"Were you waiting for me just to scare me?" He laughed.

"No, I heard you drop your keys three times and figured I'd get up and help you." She gave him a dirty look and set her purse down. He walked over and helped her take her coat off and hung it up for her.

"You're a little drunk." He mused. She rolled her eyes.

"For one, tipsy. For two, you smell like scotch so you're one to talk. Case going that well?"

"I don't want to talk about the case." He slid his hand up the side of her hair and pulled her in for a searing kiss, catching her by surprise. When he finally pulled away it took her a moment to catch her breath. "Why don't we go and continue this." His voice was low. Gia shook her head.

"Not until you finish your homework." She pointed over to his work spread out on the coffee table. "I don't want you distracted." She pressed her lips lightly against his and slipped away from him, heading to their bedroom to get changed.

"Oh!" She turned around. "I invited Amanda to Thanksgiving." She turned back around and disappeared from site.

About a half hour later Rafael went to join Gia in their bedroom. She didn't see him in the doorway, but she had changed into a loose fitting tank top and a pair of underwear. She had gotten distracted from putting her shorts on by scrutinizing the scar on her arm. She was pressing at the puffy skin with her brows knitted together. He slipped away before she noticed him and returned with a drink for each of them. When she looked up and saw him standing there, she smiled.

"Are trying to get me actually drunk?" She teased taking the drink from him and taking a long sip.

"Maybe or maybe I wanted you to relax after watching you poke at your arm in the mirror." Gia's face grew hot from embarrassment and looked away.

"I hate that I have to look at it every day. I can't even cover it with a tattoo if I want to wear a sleeveless shirt in the summer. NYPD is pretty cool about the wrist tattoo. I don't think they'd appreciate me getting a giant part of my arm tattooed without a shirt sleeve to cover it. He walked behind her and put an arm around her waist and kissed her shoulder.

"You just got your stitches out. You'll use what the doctor recommended to get it to fade. It won't be as noticeable in time. It's just so prominent now. It won't always be that way." He left kisses in a trail from her shoulder down to where the scar was.

"I know." Was all she said. She had leaned her body back into his after reaching to set her drink down.

He slid his hands under her shirt and up her stomach. When she didn't flinch at her rib area, he kept going until he reached her breasts. As he started massaging them, he dragged his teeth across her earlobe earning the expected groan. She turned around so she could kiss him and started unbuttoning his shirt and quickly tossed it aside. She pulled away from him momentarily to pull the t-shirt underneath up over his head.

She had missed him. It had only been a few weeks, but she missed the closeness with him like this. Now that her bruising finally healed she didn't want to hold back. She quickly undid his pants and he stepped out of them as she pushed him towards the bed.

It took him by surprise, he was always a little more dominant in the bedroom. It seemed that was the only place she liked being told what to do. This had him curious. Once he was on the bed, she was straddling him. She pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it to the side.

"Wait." He told her, wanting to moment to admire her. She closed her eyes and let him have his fill as he ran his hands from her hips up the sides of her back and slowly pulled her down to him.

She ran her hands up his shoulders and held both sides of his face as she kissed him, tongue buried deep into his mouth. It was his turn to groan when he felt her grind into him. She did it a few more times as she kissed down his neck. They both still had their underwear on, but the contact had him moaning. She let out a whine when he rolled her over.

Her grinned at her as he laid on his side admiring her a little bit more. Then, he was on top of her, kissing from her lips across her cheek and down her neck. Soon, he had one nipple in his mouth and then the other, causing her breath to hitch. Then he kissed down the plane between her breasts to her stomach. He only paused to pull her underwear off.

He hooked one leg under her right thigh, his other rested across her abdomen to hold her into place. She usually begged for digital penetration, but not this time. She'd have to wait. He relished in her moans and cries of his name as his tongue swirled around. A few "Rafael please" cries were driving him crazy, but he knew she was almost there. He looked up at her, eyes clamped shut, her fists at her forehead, unable to move with how he was holding her. Then, she finally let go.

As her release came, he slid his tongue inside of her and she gasped. He helped her ride it out giving her a chance to come down before going right back to what he had been doings moments before. He could tell she was still a slightly overstimulated, but the sounds coming out of her were something he had never heard from her before. They were gutteral. This time when she came, it rocked her whole body.

Before she had the chance to fully recover, he was on top of her and inside of her. He felt her walls clench around him as he buried himself deep inside of her. Always a perfect fit. Her finger tips dug into his back as his lips met hers. She had expected him to be a little harder, a little faster. Instead, he was slow and methodical. Taking his time.

His forehead had dropped down to her shoulder as her hands roamed his back. She leaned her head forward enough to kiss along his neck. Their moans and cries were quieter, but more impactful. The build up was beautifully torturous. She felt herself clench around him as his pace sped up slightly. When he picked his head up, she held both sides of his face and kissed him deeply, swallowing the sounds of his release.

A little while later she came out of the bathroom in her tank top and shorts to find him in his underwear only sitting in her chair. She smiled as she made her way over and crawled into his lap. She loved the feeling of his warm skin on hers. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while before she sat up to look at him. He was studying her face.

"What, Raf?" She smiled, running her finger along his jawline.

"Don't hate me for this, but I think I'd be okay if you never stepped foot in a precinct again." He looked like he was ashamed to admit it. Her eyebrows knitted together and he thought she was angry at first, but then he realized it was more concern and understanding.

"I know, and that is my fault. I promise you, no more running in without back up. No more unnecessary risks. There's always a risk, but I will be more careful, I promise you." He studied the sincerity in her face. He could see how much she meant it just by the look in her eyes. Instead of responding, he kissed her and then rested his forehead against hers.

"I just can't lose you." He confessed. He had put so much of himself into her, but he had also let her into his heart completely. That kind of loss, that kind of heartbreak, is not something you ever recover from.

"You won't." For the first time, he believed her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rafael had not wanted to get out of bed that morning. For the first time since Gia had crawled in his bed, she had slept facing him, not facing the outside of the bed. She had slept tucked inside his arm. It made him feel a certain way, that you trusted him completely not to turn him away.

He was happy that Gia wasn't there for the Josh Galloway case. He was sure she wouldn't have been able to hold back from ripping that hack apart. He was frustrated. It was a bad case and an even worse victim. He had taken it out on Liv and it wasn't fair for him to do it. He bore the responsibility for taking it on too. Things had changed with Liv taking the squad over, it was growing pains.

Loosing himself in her the night before had been exactly what he needed. He had missed her, not the sex, he wasn't a child. It was the closeness of her, her warmth and softness. Feeling completely connected to her. That was what he had missed. He had been almost afraid to even touch her. Her pain, mentally and physically had him cautious to even hug her.

This day had been improved by Renee Clark's moxie. He hated how close she had been to being assaulted again, but she had got him. He didn't get the result that he wanted, he wanted prison time, but at list he got something. It was a start and maybe, hopefully, he would feel less emboldened. Now it was just paperwork, mind numbing paperwork that led his mind back to Gia. At this rate, he would never finish his work.

He leaned back in his chair and turned slightly deep in thought. Truthfully, he wanted her to take the job with Jack McCoy. It would ease his worries and It would make her safer, but he couldn't ask her to do that for him. He never would ask her to change anything about herself to make him happy. He knew she was looking for something to fill a void He was secure enough in himself and their relationship to know that she was fulfilled with him. It was something in her past that left her feeling incomplete. That was something that had nothing to do with him. It was for her to do, she had to be the one to find that puzzle piece. Eventually there would be a case that would make something click. She would either solve something, save someone or find the memories she lost. That option scared him the most of all.

He could see it in her, when she thought she wasn't looking. The far off look on her face as she stared out the window or how she would sit in her chair and close her eyes like she was searching. She had said that she was putting it all on hold, but he knew deep down it still ate at her.

She had changed him. He used to be just his job, building his career, laser focused. He was still focused, it wasn't that his work was suffering but, he found himself bringing his work home just to be in her proximity. He never thought that would be him. He was glad she had changed him. He took a deep breath to clear his head. The sooner he got the paperwork infront of him done, he could go home to her.

Two hours later, he was heading home to her. He hadn't heard much from her today, which had him a little concerned, but he didn't want to bombard her, in the end, she always came to him. In a week and a half she would be back to work. She was going to return the Monday after Thanksgiving. As much as he didn't want her to go back, he knew it would be good for her. She was getting antsy. It was one of the many things they had in common.

When he opened the door to the apartment she was there, painting. She had placed a tarp on the floor and had set up her canvas there by the window. He couldn't have cared less if she got paint on the floor, he was just happy she was painting again. She had said she had an art block, which had started when Isaac Moreno showed up. This was her outlet and he was happy she had plugged back in.

She had her hair piled up on her head, curls falling loose. Her outfit made him chuckle. She had on an oversized gray Columbia sweatshirt where the collar had been cut so it fell off one of her shoulders, leggings and patterned fuzzy slipper socks. He could see old paint stains on the sweatshirt, this was her artist uniform. She didn't hear him come in, he could see the earbuds stuck in her ear. He tried to think of a way to get her attention without scarring her too badly. He didn't want to mess up what she was doing. He decided to drop his bag loudly on the floor, he saw her flinch slightly and pull out her earbuds, set her paintbrush down and walked over to him.

"Hi." She was wearing the smile that she reserved just for him that made his heart rate pick up every time he saw it. She stopped just short of wrapping her arms around him. She had paint on her bare shoulder. Some on the cheek of her makeup free face. The last few days had been chilly, but sunny and she had gone to the park, a few freckles had smattered across her cheeks.

"I don't want to get paint on your suit." She finally said expectantly. He smiled and took his jacket off and then his tie. He would have gladly let her get paint all over every suit he owned.

"There, I have a million white shirts, you can get paint all over this one and have a back up shirt to paint in." She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her. He was worried that she was having a hard day because they hadn't spoken much, but it was because she was busy and happy. He could feel it in the way she kissed him.

"I missed you today. You should have woken me up before you left for the office." She still had her arms wrapped around him, fingers laced into his hair, his hands resting on her lower back.

"I couldn't. You looked so peaceful. I did kiss you. Can I see what you've been working on?" He knew sometimes she wasn't ready for people to see what she was working on. She hesitated for a moment and then nodded her head.

He walked over and was surprised by what he saw. Normally her paintings were brighter, or calming. This one was not that. The background was blues and greys and there were shadows of people. They looked distorted. It was unsettling, but not in a bad way, there was real emotion in it. He wanted to ask her about it, but when he turned to look at her, she had one arm crossed over her torso, her arm bent and she was chewing on her thumb, looking terrified of it.

"It's not done, it needs something else. I need to walk away for a while. Do you hate it?" He turned to her, surprised of her uncertainty.

"No, I love it. It's just different. Wherever you go with it next, it'll be amazing. Why don't we give you some space from it and go out to dinner." He watched her relax. They had been staying in while she was healing, but now he just wanted to go out with her, spend time with her.

"I would love that. Let me go get cleaned up." Before she could walk past him, he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her back.

"I don't know, I think I like this look." He kissed the paint spots on her bare shoulder and she leaned into him.

"If you want to leave, you had better stop that." She said in a low voice. He laughed while laying his forehead on her shoulder, his hands on her hips. After a moment he gave her a brief kiss on her neck.

"Go shower Amor, I'll get a paint free shirt too. We can go anywhere you want." Her hands were gripping his back. She pressed a soft kiss to his lips and finished her trip into the bathroom to clean up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was early the next morning. Gia felt nervous as she put her earrings on. Liv had called her after she and Rafael had gotten home from dinner. Newly appointed Chief Dodds wanted to meet with her before she came back to the precinct. She had no idea what it was about.

She left the leather jacket hanging in the closet. Instead, she had on black dress pants and a sharp black suit jacket. She stared at herself in the mirror, the scar on her face had faded and was easily covered with makeup. She pulled out her red lipstick and put it on. It gave her confidence. She slid her heels on and walked out into the living room.

"Wow." Rafael commented when she came out into the living room.

"Is it too much? I just want to appear confident." He took a sip of his coffee, eyeing her.

"Well, you succeeded. No, it's not too much." He reassured her. He walked over and grasped her upper arms. "I'm sure it's nothing bad. He's new, you've been out, he likely wants to check in before you come back." Gia was chewing on the inside of her cheek as to not mess up her makeup.

"Probably. I've heard he can be a little difficult. Liv told me not to worry." He smiled at her, he wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her a little closer, the other resting on the side of her neck.

"Come see me after?" His thumb was tracing little circles on her neck. She had her hands on his chest, he could see the anxiety melting from her.

"I think you should convince me." She saw a flicker in his eyes, both of his hands gripped her hips.

"Then you shouldn't have put the lipstick on." He whispered in her ear before placing open mouthed kisses along her neck as she closed her eyes, tipping her head back slightly giving him more access. She opened her eyes and looked at him when he stopped."If I really have to convince you, we will both be late". Then he kissed her temple.

"Well then I guess you'll just have to wait and see." He laughed.

"C'mon, we'll take a car. I'll drop you off." he grabbed her coat and helped her put it on before putting on his and leading her out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ah, Detective Monroe. Nice to finally meet you." Cheif Dodd's shook her hand.

"Likewise. Is Sergeant Benson joining us?" She was surprised that Liv hadn't gotten there before her.

"Actually, she and I spoke last night I told her I'd like the two of us to meet. Please, sit down." He motioned to one of the empty seats across from his desk. She felt her stomach flip flop.

"Sure." She tentatively took a seat. She tried not quell all of her anxiety tells, which was not easy. She wouldn't let Dodds see her flinch though.

"I wanted to check in to see how you were doing. You've been through quite an ordeal this year. You've shown incredible bravery. People have noticed, especially the people you want to notice." Gia raised an eyebrow.

"I'm doing well. Physically I'm healed, I decided to give myself an extra week before heading back, just to make sure my head is clear." He nodded.

"I respect that. A lot of Detectives won't do that. Let me ask you, are you happy at SVU?" She cocked her head to the side.

"I've been getting that question a lot lately. Why do you ask?" He smiled, she couldn't tell if it was sincere or not.

"You are incredibly talented, you could have any assignment that you wanted truthfully. I just want to make sure you're happy, that's all. I know SVU has been a little rocky lately." Gia nodded. They were looking to protect their investment.

"I am actually very happy at SVU. Working with the victims is very gratifying. If I can help them at their worst moment, it means something." Dodd's nodded and was silent for a moment. Gia left room for it. She was interested in where he was going to take this.

"I know they handed you a multi-jurisdictional case. How is that going?" She sighed.

"Well I didn't get far with it due to Isaac Moreno. I have a lot to get through. Most of the cases are beyond cold. I'm sure I'll be able to put a pattern and a profile together, but it's going to take time. I wish I could have seen some of the live crime scenes. Sometimes, I catch something that is important, but we don't know it's important until later. I will need to study the crime scene photos extensively." She had almost forgotten about that case. She had pushed it to the back of her mind.

"Well I spoke with Sergeant Benson. I want to make sure we are utilizing you in the best way possible. I don't want you out chasing perps. You need to be reviewing crime scenes, working with victims and listening in on interrogations. You are the one that can best put the pieces together." Gia's brow furrowed.

"So you're essentially putting me behind a desk. Do you think I can't handle being on the street or something?" He put his hands up defensively.

"Not at all. You're not stuck behind a desk. We're not pulling your weapon. You're a second grade detective with a bright future who I know will move up the ranks quickly. There are so many things you can be doing besides knocking down doors." Gia sat back for a moment thinking.

"You heard Jack McCoy offered me a job." She finally said. He let out a little laugh.

"Yes, yes I did. You are as sharp as they say." Gia pressed her tongue to her cheek for a moment.

"You honestly could have just said that. Listen Chief, I am a straight shooter. You may not always like me or what I have to say, but I will always be honest. I will tell you what I told the DA. I'm not done with SVU. I still have work to do. Maybe one day, but I'm not leaving NYPD anytime soon. I don't need special treatment." She crossed her legs, no longer anxious.

"I appreciate your candor Detective. It's not special treatment, it's using you to the best of your ability. I think when you get back after next week, your priority should be getting through the evidence in that case. I'm assuming you have contacts in New England through your father and mother." Gia nodded.

"I do. I will make it my top priority." Dodd's stood up.

"Well I appreciate you coming in while you are off. I look forward to working with you Detective." Gia stood as well and smiled.

"Likewise Chief." Once she was outside of his office, she texted Olivia and asked her to meet at Rafael's office.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rafael watched Gia pace as she told him and Olivia what the Deputy Chief had said. He couldn't lie, he was feeling slightly relieved that he didn't want her chasing perps and knocking doors down. He could tell she was feeling conflicted.

"Barba, you're unusually quiet." Liv said after Gia was done. Gia had finally sat down and was looking at him expectantly.

"I mean, it's a smart tactic, I can certainly see why he suggested it. He wants you focused on what you do best and keep you out of the line of fire. I know that's not what you want to hear. He's not doing it because he thinks you can't handle yourself so don't get worked up. He is protecting his best asset. Did he mention if there was a choice in this?" Olivia scoffed.

"Not really. I have a feeling there won't be a lot of room for choice with our new deputy chief." He couldn't get a read on Gia. She didn't seem angry.

"Well, I guess I can wear heels to work again." She joked. Rafael chucked and shook his head.

"Gia, if you're really not okay with it, I will go to bat with Dodds." Gia shook her head.

"No...no. You just took Command, he's new and it's not like they are taking my gun or anything. Don't use any juice you have for this. Save it for something that matters." Gia knew that Liv might need that down the line. Gia also didn't want to appear to be difficult and maybe not kicking down doors wasn't the worst thing in the world.

"Okay, we will see how this goes then. I have to get back to the squad room." Liv said while looking at her phone. "I'll talk to you both later." Rafael walked Liv to the door and shut it behind her.

"Are you sure you're okay with it?" Rafael asked when he turned around. She nodded.

"Yeah. I feel like I need to be on Dodd's good side for now. I couldn't get a read on him, but I have a feeling he and I will be butting heads at some point. He is trying to make sure I don't come work for Jack. Which was stupid for him to tip that hand, because I have the advantage." Rafael smirked at her.

"I think you did get a read on him. If you think you're going to need leverage, you know what you're dealing with." Gia looked down at her hands for a moment and back up at him.

"Maybe. You can admit it, you know." Her eyes met his and his face read confusion. "You can admit that you're happy with this change." He sighed, standing up and going to sit on the corner of his desk in front of her.

"Gigi, I want whatever you want. If you want this, take it and run with it. Make jr so they can't deny you anything you want. Do I like the idea that you might be dodging less bullets? Of course I do, but not at the expense of what you want." She smiled and stood up and stepped towards him, putting her hands on his shoulders.

"I love you." She was looking at him fondly.

"I love you too." As he stood up, her hands slid down his arms and he kissed her on the cheek. He watched as she reached for her phone as it buzzed in her pocket and read the message. Her eyes flickered up to his.

"My Dad is on his way into the city."

[vintageneptune92]

TVD Masterlist

One shots

You Were Mine- Damon Salvatore x Reader

A Love Worth Waiting For- Stefan Salvatore x Reader

Do The Unexpected- Elijah Mikaelson x Reader

I Think I’m Falling In Love With You- Alaric Saltzman x Reader

Hate That I Love You- Damon Salvatore x Reader

Don’t Say You Love Me- Elijah Mikaelson x Reader

You Have Me- Klaus Mikaelson x Reader

Series

Temptations- Stefan Salvatore x Reader (Complete)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Whispers In The Dark- Elijah Mikaelson x Salvatore OC

[vintageneptune92]

Whispers in The Dark

Samantha Salvatore returns home to reunite and save her brothers. She is torn between her love for them and her relationship with the love of her life.

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

[vintageneptune92]

Supernatural Masterlist

One Shots

More Than I Can Say- Dean Winchester x Reader

Green is the Color- Dean Winchester x Reader

Not Alone- Dean Winchester x Reader

A New Beginning- Dean Winchester x Reader

A Light in the Dark- Dean Winchester x Reader

A Dangerous Game- Crowley x Reader

Tequila Makes You Mean- Dean Winchester x Reader

Series

In My Time of Dying- Castiel x OC

[vintageneptune92]

In My Time of Dying

I suck at summaries! This is an original character story- Alianna Winchester, twin sister of Sam. It starts off right around when Dean comes back from hell. Ali and Sam’s relationship has been fractured since he left for Stanford. She struggles to repair their relationship has they navigate the Apocalypse, her close relationship with Dean and beyond. Like Sam- She is special in a very different way. Truly the Ying to his Yang that causes a deep connection between Ali and Castiel.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

[vintageneptune92]

Marvel Masterlist

One Shots

Heart of the Matter- Bucky Barnes x Reader

Shadow of the Day- Bucky Barnes x Reader

Say It Again- Buck Barnes x Reader

Bonfire- Steve Rogers x Reader

Series

Flicker Fade- Steve Rogers x Reader

Part 1 | Part 2

Nothing Breaks Like a Heart- Steve Rogers x Stark! OC (under re-write)

[vintageneptune92]

SVU Masterlist

Series:

Burn The Shadow- Rafael Barba x OC

Two Cent Men- Rafael Barba x Reader

One Shots:

Falling- Rafael Barba x Reader

[vintageneptune92]

Two Cent Men- Masterlist

Rafael Barba x OC

Part 1

[vintageneptune92]

Burn The Shadow- Masterlist

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

[vintageneptune92]

Burn the Shadow- 18

I think I wrote and re-wrote this chapter 100 times. It needs to be edited, which I will do in a day or two but I need to just get it out there so I can move on. I know where this story is going, I just fell into a major pot hole.

I hope it is acceptable. 🩷🩷

"Wait...wait...wait. So let me get this straight. Officer McKenna said she saw a gun, she initiated the shooting, she tells you she was hit and somehow YOU are the one they're trying to indict...with a hate crime attached. Do they realize the officer you were trying to protect was ALSO Black?!" The incredulity of the situation had Gia pacing her hallway while on the phone with Nick. Gia was pinching the bridge of her nose. She wasn't surprised that Ed Tucker was throwing Amaro under the bus. That was his normal MO.

"Gee, I know. Officer McKenna isn't cooperating anymore. They're using me as the example for excessive force. I had no idea that it was her own bullet. Calhoun and I went to Strauss for a deal, I was going to turn in my papers..."

"You What?! You're going to retire and do what?" Gia's head was pounding. She was having frequent headaches since she was released from the hospital. The stitches in her head were irritating her. Her wounded arm hurt. She was walking around in a pair of cotton pajama shorts and a hoodie.

"Well he refused to drop the Hate Crime statute so I didn't take it. Listen, you're not going to like what I'm about to tell you..." Nick was trying to avoid the bomb that was about to detonate.

"Well, I haven't been excited about anything in this conversation so go ahead." Nick appreciated her sarcasm in that moment because he knew it was going to slip into outrage in a moment.

"Don't freak out but I'm going to testify at the Grand Jury."

"Don't freak out...DON'T FREAK OUT?? Jesus Christ are you trying to give me a stroke?!" The volume of Gia's voice increased with each word growing high pitched at the end.

"I have to take the chance. He's in there insinuating things that he can't in a trial." Gia's free hand fell to her side, her hand slapping against her thigh.

"Yeah Nick, I know. This is a TERRIBLE idea. The things he can ask you and not having Calhoun in there to have your back? This is a whole new level of insanity. You and I are the same brand of crazy and even I wouldn't do this." Gia had her hand on the top of her head as she continued her loop of the hallway.

"Listen, I know all of that. I'm hoping if they see me, hear from me, that maybe it'll repair some of the damage Strauss is doing. I have to do what I can to not end up in prison." Gia exhaled the breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Nick, please...please don't do this. It's a huge risk." Gia felt completely useless. She wasn't there for him when his house was shot up. She felt sick knowing Zara had been there. He refused to use the spare bedroom she and Rafael had because she was recovering. Instead, he was sleeping on Liv's couch with Cassidy who was investigating him with Tucker.

"Gee, I need you to trust me, okay? I don't need you getting worked up over this. I can literally hear your high blood pressure over the phone. It'll be fine." Gia was silent. She didn't know what else to say.

"I assume there is not a fucking thing I can say to change your mind?" She had to ask before she conceded.

"No, there isn't." Gia squeezed her lips together leaning against the wall.

"Okay." There weren't any other words she could muster. All of the worst case scenarios rolling through her brain.

"Look, you don't need to worry about this right now. I just didn't want you to find out from someone else. You need to rest and recover." By someone else, she knew he meant Rafael. She assumed he gave him the ultimatum to tell Gia or he would.

"Nick, I'm fine. Just...just focus on what you plan to say. Think of every horrible question that asshat can ask you. All of the ways he can twist this and have a solid answer. And keep your temper in check. He's going to try and bait you."

"I will. I'll check in later okay? Get some rest." He hung up before she could respond. She wanted to scream, but she was sure she had disturbed Rafael enough while he was trying to work.

Gia took a couple of slow deep breaths. She decided to go check in on Rafael before she took something for her headache. She was hoping it would dull her emotions enough to calm her anxiety. She knew it was a naive wish by the way her heart was rattling in her chest.

When she made it to Rafael's office, he had left the door open. When she walked in, he wasn't behind his desk and the couch was empty. Her brows knitted together and she walked out in search of him. She stopped short when she made it to the living room.

There was a woman in the living room with him. She was older and she was beautiful. Short dark hair, dark eyes and she was impeccably put together. Then she noticed it, she and Rafael had the same nose. Without him even introducing her, she knew it was Lucille Barba.

Rafael turned and saw Gia stopped in the doorway. She was wide eyed and obviously, but adorably, startled. Part of him was happy that this was how she was meeting his mother, his mother was getting the authentic version of her. Not that he had planned it that way. He just knew that Gia would overthink meeting his mother.

He had told his mother what had happened and she had admired Gia's bravery and was appalled that no one in her family had been back to check on her. She had been pestering Rafael for months about meeting Gia. She finally decided she no longer wanted to wait and showed up after she found out Rafael was working from home to be with Gia. His mother had arrived right before Gia had gotten on the phone with Nick and had heard her colorful melt down over Nick's decision to testify.

"Hi, I would have gotten dressed if I knew we were having company." She gave Rafael a pointed look. Rafael walked over to her and put his arm around her and led her closer to his mother.

"Don't you worry about that. I didnt tell him I was coming." Lucille immediately dismissed her concerns.

"Mom, this is Gianna Monroe. Gia, this is my mother Lucille Barba." Rafael kept a steady and comforting hand on her back.

"Mrs. Barba, it's so nice to meet you." Lucille took her hand and gave her a warm smile.

"You call me Lucille. I'm so glad to finally meet you. All he does is talk about you." She squeezed Gia's hand. Gia saw a slight blush creep over Rafael's face.

Gia felt a wide range of emotions. She was nervous and embarrassed. She hadn't worn makeup in days and her hair was messily on top of her head and she was essentially dressed in pajamas. She was hoping his mother got there after her call with Nick, though she doubted it.

"My mom brought food over so we didn't have to worry about it." Rafael's nodded his head towards the dining room table that had bags on it.

"Well, I wanted to do something for the very brave woman who has captivated my son enough to get him out of the office." Lucille stepped a little bit closer. She cupped Gia's chin to turn her head slightly to look at the bruising and stitches. Normally, Gia would find it intrusive, but it was surprisingly endearing.

"Oh sweetheart, that must hurt. Is my son taking care of you?" It was the first time in her life she felt someone showing her motherly concern. Gia felt the anxiety fleeing her body and she laughed.

"He takes great care of me, and I make it pretty hard for him." Gia winced as she shifted her body. Rafael noticed immediately.

"Sit down." He led her to the couch. Lucille sat down next to Gia and Rafael took a seat in the chair closest to Gia.

"I won't stay. We have plenty of time to get to know each other. I just wanted to stop and meet you. This way if Rafi is stuck and work and you need anything, you'll feel comfortable calling me. It must be hard having your family so far away." Gia blinked a few times to prevent her burning eyes from watering.

"It can be. My mother is in worse shape than I am, she needs them more. I have Rafael, Olivia, Nick and the rest of the squad." Lucia took Gia's hand again in both of hers.

"Well, now you have someone that is outside of the precinct. You call me any time. I'm going to go so you can get some rest." She patted the top of Gia's hand.

"Thank you. I really appreciate that." Rafael stood when his mother did and walked her to the door. He hugged her and kissed her on the cheek before he shut the door behind her. When he turned around, he couldn't help but grin. Gia hid her face in her hands.

"How much of that phone call with Nick did she hear?" Her voice was muffled.

"Ohhh, every colorful word of it." He sat down next to her on the couch. Rafael laughed as she groaned.

"I'm so embarrassed." He put his hand on her upper back and rubbed it.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, she's said much worse." Gia turned her head to the side while still resting her face in her hands. The amused look slowly faded from her face.

"Tell me Nick isn't going to prison." She whispered.

"I can't. I hope not, but they are gunning for him." She knew he wouldn't lie to her, but part of her wished he would just to hold onto some sense of false hope.

"I can't lose him too." She whispered. She felt like her world was caving in. She could not take one more literal or metaphorical loss. She didn't think she would survive it.

"Listen to me, this goes to trial, their case is flimsy at best. It's easy to get an indictment, but at trial they have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt. You know this." She nodded her head, but didn't say anything. He sighed and moved closer to her and put his arm around and pulled her close to him. He could almost hear the thoughts racing through her mind. He thought for a moment to think of something to take her mind off of it.

"Do you know the first time I felt a spark of something for you?" He rubbed slow circles on her lower back.

"No, I don't." She placed her hand on his chest, opposite of where her head was. She closed her eyes, listening to the steady strum of his heart.

"We were at a police fundraiser the Mayor put on. One PP had asked you to attend. The department was looking for representatives from some of the major departments to help elicit the wealthiest of New Yorkers to write some checks. They knew that you were the person to represent SVU. It was clear that they made the right choice, you fit into that crowd seamlessly. I remember seeing you from across the room, you had on this simple black silk dress that knotted in the front. I don't even know who you were talking to, but you had this radiant smile, one I had never seen before, mostly because I had never done anything to earn it. I suddenly found myself wanting to be the reason you smile like that. I almost wrote a huge check just to try and get one, but I knew it wouldn't work. I had to really earn it." Gia was quiet for a moment.

"I knew I was going to fall in love with you before we became us, and we became us well before I moved in here. It was shortly after you brought me that coffee as a peace offering. It was after a really bad case, Jacob Henson, the 6 year old that went missing. I was too invested in that case and having to describe what we found, what was done to him...it was horrific. I was the last to testify for the day and I barely held it together on the stand. I remember my voice cracking a few times. I bolted out of that courtroom and I ended up in this little secluded hallway by a window and I fell apart. You found me, said you had been looking for me everywhere. I didn't want to turn and look at you, I was embarrassed and felt so unprofessional. When you asked me to turn around and I refused, you came and stood next to me and put your hand on my back and said 'please look at me.' I have always hated people seeing me cry, but I turned around anyway. You uh, reached into the inner pocket of your suit jacket for something to wipe my tears, when you came up empty, you snatched your pocket square and wiped my tears. I felt bad for ruining it and you folded it neatly and put it in my jacket pocket. Then you put your arm around me and we sat on that window ledge until I was ready. You told me that we didn't have to talk, but that we were going to stay there until I was ready to leave. That you weren't leaving me alone. That was when I knew. I still have that pocket square." He pulled her a little bit closer.

"You are sentimental." He mused. He kissed her forehead before reaching over and tipping her chin up so he could kiss her properly. He pulled away when he felt her wince.

"Sorry, I moved wrong." He pulled her back to him.

"You need to stop apologizing for nothing. Do you need to lay down?" His concern for her wellbeing was endearing. Part of her wanted to close off the rest of the world and stay in the apartment with him indefinitely, though she knew it was unrealistic.

"I can't lay around in that bed anymore. I'm going crazy." She hated that this was the second time in the year that she was injured. She had never been hurt on the job until she was with SVU.

"This is literally your 2nd day home. You barely dodged a bullet, literally. You have rib bruising and you took another blow to the head and while not as serious as the last one, this is your second concussion in less than a year. You're stitched up on your face and arm. I know you think your injuries are minimal and you should 'suck it up', but you still need to heal." She sat up so she could look at him.

"Okay Dr. Barba, I hear you." He shook his head at her, with a faint smile on his face.

"How about you go rest while I finish up some things for the office and I'll come lay with you." She ran her thumb over his cheek. She didn't have it in her to protest going to lay down. She had worried him enough for a lifetime. The dull ache in her head had started becoming more intense.

"Alright Counselor, you win." He looked a little surprised, but took the win. He stood up and helped her to her feet and got her settled before heading back down the hall to finish his work as soon as he could so he could get back to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gia wasn't sure what to think. Rafael had to go into the office for an 8th floor meeting and she had planned on spending the day watching bad TV. That was until Captain Cragen had asked her to meet him for coffee. Gia couldn't think of any other time Cragen had asked her to meet him like that before. She wished her default feeling wasn't anxiety, but that was all she felt lately, just different variations of it.

Once she arrived at the coffee shop, she felt the flutter of anxiety increase when she saw Cragen waiting for her. What on Earth Cragen needed to tell her that he didn't want to over the phone? She also wasn't sure why he didn't want her to come into the precinct. Something was definitely up.

"Captain?" She felt suddenly terrified that they had fired Nick and Cragen because of what happened. It was when she saw his warm smile that her fear dissipated.

"Gia, thanks for coming in. I'm sorry for dragging you out. Though you look great for someone bouncing back from another concussion. She genuinely laughed.

"Thank you. So what...what's going on?" Cragen saw the frantic look on her face. "I know something is up. You aren't the 'meet me for a meal or coffee' type." That was one of the many things he appreciated about Gia, she was straight to the point.

"So I see we're going to skip small talk. Don't worry, Nick still has his badge. It's me. I'm leaving, and before you ask, it was my decision." He watched be brows knit together in confusion.

"Wait...you're serious. What the hell is going on?!" Gia could not wrap her mind around what he had just said.

"Listen, I'm almost at mandatory retirement and I have enough time accrued that takes me there. I actually made the decision before everything that happened with Nick. Eileen and I are going on a six month cruise." The fear melted from Gia's face.

"Captain, that's...that's amazing. A six month cruise? Well for one thing, I'm jealous, but I'm so happy for you. I actually recently floated the idea of running away to an island to Rafael. He countered with threatening to wear a speedo every day." Cragen laughed. He would miss her sense of humor and delivery of funny tidbits. She would be lying if she said she didn't feel a little sad that she wouldn't get more time to work with him.

"Thank you. I didn't want to say anything until Amaro's case was over. I didn't want to distract from that. I also wanted to tell you to your face. You'll be happy to know that Liv will be acting CO as Sergeant." Gia wasn't surprised to hear that.

"Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else taking over this unit." Cragen nodded.

"Neither could I. Gia, it has been such a pleasure to see you grow as a Detective. You have such a bright future ahead of you. One PP sees it, you use that to your advantage, and if they won't budge? You call Jack McCoy. I know that Liv has been your mentor and you are loyal to her. She will want you to make the choice that is best for you, always. Even if it means leaving SVU. Liv, she's an SVU lifer, Gia, you're not. I know why you came to SVU and when you find what it is that you've been looking for, get out. I mean it. I want you to know, you can always call me if you need anything."

"Thank you Captain, that means a lot." Gia looked down, everything he had just said hit her deeply. He put his hand on hers to get her attention.

"Gia, don't allow your family and everything that has happened define you. You are so much more than that and you deserve a lot better than you've been given." Gia laughed.

"You know, I've heard that before." Cragen also laughed.

"I'm sure you have. I don't think Amaro or Barba are very good at keeping their opinions to themselves."

"Not even a little bit. Though Rafael is a little more eloquent in his delivery than Nick is, but not much." Gia shook her head. She knew how the both of them felt about her family. She didn't blame them and she didn't disagree. It was just complicated.

"Just promise me you'll take care of yourself and if you can't, you'll let Rafael do it until you can." Gia smiled at himm.

"I promise. Thank you, Captain, for everything. It's been an honor working for you." He put his hand on her shoulder.

"Be happy, Gia. You deserve that most of all."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a strange day. Rafael had planned on working from home again but he had been called into a meeting with Jack McCoy. They were officially handing the Isaac Moreno case over to The Feds. Rafael had felt relieved. Normally, he'd fight for the case. This time, he just wanted to be done with it. He wanted to be able to move forward from it, for Gia to move forward from it. Letting the Feds take on the hunt for Moreno made it that much easier. The more they dug into him, the worse things they found. He actually couldn't wait to tell Gia they were done with it.

Then, she had texted him and asked him to come home as soon as he could. She had never done that. He had asked her what was wrong. She had assured him she was physically okay, but she didn't want to talk about it on the phone and that she really just needed him.

He had been getting ready to leave when Cragen had stopped into his office to tell him about his retirement. He was telling the rest of the squad that evening. He had met Gia and told her and while she had seemed happy for him, he also knew that she had been hit with a lot of changes and he wanted to give Rafael a heads up in case her happiness was for his benefit. Cragen had also noticed how Gia's anxiety had been on the increase. He didn't feel that she was a liability, he just didn't want to be the cause of any more stress on her. He then made Rafael promise to take care of her, even if she fought it. It wasn't even something Cragen had to ask for. Cragen admitted that he had assumed so, but it made him feel better to say it.

Rafael knew that wasn't what had caused her to ask him to come home. It was something else. Once Cragen was gone, he told Carmen he was finishing the rest of the day at home. She had given him a box for Gia. There was this bakery that she loved and Carmen had stopped to pick up some of the things she knew Gia loved. Rafael had asked her once to run over and grab them before they closed and she had never forgotten. Carmen had said she couldn't do anything to help Gia with what she was dealing with, so she wanted to just do something nice for her. It was then that Rafael realized Carmen probably deserved a raise.

As he opened the door to the apartment, Gia was no where to be seen. She must have been in their bedroom. He hung his coat up, set his bag on one of the living room chairs and made his way into their bedroom.

She was sitting in her chair in a pair of sweatpants and her sleeveless Columbia T-Shirt. She had the ice pack wrapped around her arm. She was sitting in a way that was so familiar to him. Both of her legs were hanging over the arm of the chair. She was, however, sitting at more of an angle to hold the large ice pack on her ribs. Her head was rested on the back of the chair, her eyes closed. He wasn't sure if she was asleep or not.

"Gia?" Her eyes fluttered open. There was a sadness etched onto her face. "What's...what happened?" She sighed, she tossed the large ice pack on the table. He set the box from Carmen on the end of their bed. He helped her stand up. She wrapped her arms around him and he held her for a moment. She pulled away after a moment and kissed him softly.

"Sorry, I just needed that first. She winced as she reached for her phone. "It's just easier if you read it."

He took her phone and saw that it was a text message from Grayson. So much for him giving her time to reach out when she was ready. Once he started reading, he understood why.

His firm had offered him a 6 month assignment overseas to set up an international office. He had said yes, he didn't have much time to make the decision. He and Anna needed to get away from New York for a while and this was the perfect opportunity. He had thought that being with their parents for a while was a good option but it wasn't working out, not for Anna. They would get time away and then be back in New York to get Anna set up for Kindergarten. They would be leaving after the new year, but his firm was announcing it later that day, he didn't want her to find out that way. He ended the message with that he loved her and begged her to call him. Rafael set the phone down. He knew that she hadn't even had the chance to process what had happened and now she had this added to it.

He took a moment to take stock of her. As he studied her face, he noticed that her stitches were gone.

"Did you see the doctor today to get those out." She shook her head.

"I was getting ready to go and meet Cragen." Rafael had let her know that he needed a little bit of time when Cragen had walked into his office, so she knew that he knew. "I couldn't find a way to cover the stitches and I didn't want to go out looking like the Bride of Frankenstein, so I took them out. They did the stitches as a precaution, I didn't really need them." His exasperated expression made her feel a little bad.

"You took them out...What....what was the plan if it wasn't healed and you started bleeding?" He shouldn't have been surprised she took them out on her own.

"Butterfly bandages and a visit to my friend Jesse at the ER? I was fine and I was right." He sighed. How could he even argue with that.

"Please tell me you left the ones in your arm." She laughed.

"Yes. That is not a wound I plan on messing with. The ones in my face were driving me crazy. It feels better without them." He shook his head.

"Before we get into Grayson, can I check the ribs?" She nodded and lifted up the side of her shirt. The bruising was still dark, but the purple had lightened slightly and there was a tinge of yellow around the edges. "Do you want to put the ice pack back on?"

"No, I had it on for a while. It needs to go back in the freeezer. This one too." She unstrapped the one on her arm.

"I am going to go out them in the freezer. You get comfortable and then we can talk. That box is from Carmen, she grabbed you some pastries." She nodded and he headed out of the room.

After he put them back in the freezer, he undid his tie and took off his suit jacket. When he walked back into their room, she was sitting up in bed, leaning against the headboard. She had set the box from Carmen on the nightstand. Normally she would already have opened them. That's how he really knew she was upset. He rolled up his sleeves and then climbed into bed next to her and put his arm around her. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"I don't even know why I'm so upset. It's probably the best thing for the both of them right now. I know Grayson is the furthest thing from a perfect brother, but not having him a car ride away, right down the street hasn't happened since grad school. Regardless, he always apologizes. I know I said I was sick of apologies, but for the first time, with what happened with Sienna, I think he's ready to really deal with the things he needs to. And Anna? I can't even think about that."

"I think you just explained why you're so upset. It's also only been a couple of days since everything happened with Sienna. Your body hasn't even healed yet, let alone you having time to emotionally deal with all of it." She sighed and was silent for a moment.

"I think I'm afraid that he's not going to come back. I mean, this is the perfect chance to truly start over. There's no chance a judge is going to make him bring Anna to visit Sienna anytime soon. Not after what she did. That would not be good for her, emotionally. He's setting up the new office, what if they ask him to stay permanently? What if Anna flourishes over there and coming back here would be a mistake?" There it was. That was what was really upsetting her. "I feel like every time I turn around lately I'm loosing someone. I almost just lost Nick. Who's next? You?" That broke his heart just a little bit.

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere. I'm in it for the long haul. And you can't worry about something happening to me. None of us can know if something like that is going to happen." He kissed the top of her head.

"I know Raf. I've just been spiraling since I got that text. Especially after Cragen's retirement announcement. I mean they could have coordinated that better." He laughed.

"I thought you were happy for Cragen?"

"Oh no, I am. He deserves happiness, especially after everything that has happened. Eileen has been his second chance. I'm just going to miss him. He fought for me, he believed in me, instantly. It was just the back to back 'hey I'm leaving' messages." She settled into him more as he started running circles into her scalp.

"I think that you're missing the silver lining you're so used to finding. Grayson being overseas means Grayson will have space from your mother. You've always said that Grayson never realized the damage your mother caused him. I think he has now. Being on the other side of the world may give him a chance to truly heal. Also, you have Grayson living in Timbuktu without WiFi or phone access." Gia laughed. Even through everything, he could still make her laugh.

"No, you're right. Space from my mother is the best thing for him. He also doesn't need to take on her recovery. And I know there is WiFi and video chats and all of that. But not seeing him or Anna whenever I want is going to be an adjustment. But also, maybe him being gone will improve our relationship. Him overseas means the space I need without it being the 'I need to go low contact'. I don't want that with him." Rafael was quiet for a moment.

"It also means that Anna's trauma recovery won't be on you, because it shouldn't. You need to recover from your own. I know you haven't dealt with your feelings on what happened with Sienna. You have to grieve that loss. It's a different kind of loss." He felt her tense slightly.

"That's something I wanted to talk to you about. I promised no more surprise jail house visits. I'm going to see her tomorrow." He started to protest.

"Gia that is a terrible idea." Before he could continue, she slowly pulled herself up so she could look at him.

"Just listen, please. Rita is going with me. Raf, I need closure. I need to move on. To do that, I have questions that I have to ask. I don't want to wait. I want to move past this and I know that I need to let that pain in. There are just things I need to say and hear so I can do that. I'm telling you before I do it. I need this and I need you to support me." She was doing what he had asked. He had no right to tell her no.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I know you hate that I feel this need to protect you. You have to realize though. It's not because I think you're weak, or that you can't handle it yourself. It's because I love you with everything that I have and I just want to spare you as much pain, emotional or physical that I can. That's not going to go away." Instead of responding, she kissed him. It was searing and it took him off guard. When she pulled away, she ran her fingers through his hair and then rested her hand on his cheek.

"I know. I know. I also know that I make it incredibly difficult sometimes and I'm trying to get better. I just know I need this." He pulled her by the waist so she was sitting in his lap facing him. Her hands immediately rested on his shoulders.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you? I'll clear my whole damn day." She ran her hand to the nape of his neck, running her nails through the hair on the back of his head.

"She trusts Rita, you set her on edge and I'm pretty sure you need to start doing your actual job again." He laughed.

"True, but I still have a little leeway. My boss happens to be particularly fond of you. Actually, my meeting today was about you a little bit." She scrunched her face a little bit.

"Do tell, don't hold out on me now." He kissed her again before he started talking.

"First and foremost he wanted to make sure you were okay. He also wanted to make sure I was taking care if his, how did he put it? His 'future investment'. You know Jack, he's like you with the jokes. I'm almost terrified at the idea of you working for him." Gia laughed before he continued. "He then wanted to inform me that The Feds wanted the Isaac Moreno case. He wanted to give me the option to fight for it. I said no and to let them take it." She looked genuinely surprised.

"What? Really?" He brushed her hair out of her face.

"Yes, really. Lord knows where he is going to end up for one thing and I want to put this behind us. I want us to move on, move forward. He's dangerous and it truly should be a Federal case." Rafael never gave up a case willingly.

"Raf...thank you. That means a lot."

"It's the truth. I want us looking towards the future."

"And what do you see in the future?" He smiled.

"You, Gia. When I look toward the future, all I see is you." She kissed him again, with more need. "Now, our immediate future is you taking something for your pain and getting some rest while I get some work done. You look exhausted. She nodded.

"I am really tired. Going out to see Cragen took a lot out of me." Rafael slowly slid her off of his lap and settled her back into her spot. He went over to her nightstand and grabbed her some medication and gave her some water.

"You sleep, I'll wake you up in a couple of hours." He pulled the blankets over her and smoothed her hair back.

"Did you really just tuck me in?" She laughed. He leaned downed and kissed her cheek.

"I did. Shut up." She laughed again as he shook and shut the door behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gia felt nauseous as she followed Rita down to see Sienna. She was definitely second guessing this decision. She knew she was going to be exhausted after this. She could tell Rafael was uneasy on his way out the door as he hesitated to leave. She knew he wanted to be the one holding her hand through this, but she had to do this one on her own.

For being in prison, Sienna looked good. Gia had reached out to one of the guards from when her brother was there and asked that they make sure Sienna was okay. So long as Sienna didn't cause trouble, her back would be watched.

It had been almost a week since the incident, Sienna looked different somehow, in her eyes. The look of relief on her face when she saw Gia walk in was incredibly apparent. Rita led Gia in and nodded at the guard to close the cell door.

"Before you say anything, can I go first?" Sienna asked. Gia nodded.

"First of all, I am so sorry. I know those words sound probably incredibly hollow, but it's true. I am so thankful that you are okay. I would not have been able to live with myself if you weren't. I'm not going to be making excuses, I just want you to understand. I was mentally evaluated, almost immediately when they took me into custody after I signed my deal. I was suicidal. I was in a severe state of psychosis. They diagnosed me with a borderline personality disorder." Sienna closed her eyes for a moment. "I held a gun at you while you were holding my daughter. When I look back now at all of the signs and symptoms...I don't have any words to describe the deep and severe shame I feel. I know it means likely nothing, but I will never forgive myself for what I put you through, the trauma I caused my daughter..." she choked back a sob.

"Sienna, you weren't in your right mind. It obviously doesn't make it okay. But I'd rather this than you just being a monster. I couldn't wrap my brain around that. I wish I had seen the symptoms." Before Gia could continue.

"Please, please don't think that you should have been able to prevent this." Gia shook her head.

"I don't. I wasn't your therapist, I just wish I would have pushed you towards therapy instead of trying to not upset you. Hindsight is all. I'm assuming you're medicated."

"Yes, and I see the therapist daily. They may have me institutionalized." Gia sat back and blinked.

"A hospital for your sentence?" Gia didn't know how she felt about it. On one hand, the one that was so angry that a woman was dead and two little girls were traumatized made Gia want to see Sienna rot in prison. On the other hand, if she wasn't in control of herself, like Gia really place all of that blame on her. Her mental instability is likely what drew Isaac Moreno to her.

"I don't know. I just know that they don't think this place is a good fit for me." Gia didn't know what to say. She had come in here built up by anger and had wanted answers. Now? She knew that Sienna wouldn't be able to answer them. She wasn't going to get them at all."

"I hope that regardless of what happens, you get the help that you need and can have a life when you have your freedom back." Gia meant it. All of the anger that she felt was suddenly gone. It was replaced by sympathy.

"Will they ever let me see her again?" Gia knew she meant Anna.

"I...I can't answer that. I honestly don't know. It won't be for a very long time. You should know. Grayson and Annie are going to be over in Europe for about 6 months. He's helping set up a new office. The both of them need space and time to heel." She watched as a tear fell from Sienna's face. Gia almost...almost wanted to hug her.

"That will be really good for the two of them I think. Maybe it'll give Anna the chance to forget about me." Gia didn't know if she was hunting for sympathy or if she really meant it. Either way, she didn't respond.

"I really came here Sienna, to say goodbye." Gia finally said. She didn't know how much longer she could be in this place with her.

"Goodbye?" Sienna hadn't been expecting that. She had truthfully thought that even after everything she'd still have Gia.

"Yes, goodbye. I have been through so much this year, too much. I need to let this go. You, Isaac Moreno, all of it. For the first time, ever, I see a light at the end of the tunnel and it means that I have to cut out as much of the trauma that I can. I am glad that you're still here and I'm glad that you're finally getting the help that you need...but I can't be apart of your life going forward." Gia saw a flash of anger in Sienna's eyes.

"So even though I'm sick, you're walking away from me?"

"Rita, I'm assuming that you and Sienna have some things to discuss. I can get myself back to the city." Gia stood up, signaling for the guard to let her out.

"Gia please, please don't walk away from me." Sienna pleaded. Gia stopped for a moment

"I'm sorry." She said, without turning around and she walked out and heard Sienna's cries lessen the further she made it down the hall.

[vintageneptune92]

SEBASTIAN STAN | vanity fair 2025

[vintageneptune92]

Burn the Shadow

So I am STUCK on the most recent chapter. It’s definitely a transition chapter, but I don’t know why I’m struggling with it so much.

So….what are some things you would all like to see? I’m hoping that some outside thoughts will help spur an idea. I thought doing a one shot would help, but it did not.

This case of writers block is rough. Halp! 😆

[vintageneptune92]

Two Cent Men

This was a request from rblover891, but their account is no longer active.

Prompt: “What’s the matter sweetheart?”-with Rafael Barba and anon-detective reader. (Reader will be female)

I figured I’d do something to clear up my brain with Burn the Shadow. I don’t know if the last two chapters have been subpar, but not a lot of feedback.

This could have the bones to be a longer, multi-part story if anyone is interested in more.

Let me know 🩷

She was going to get herself fired. If her boss knew she was meeting with even the janitor at District Attorney's office she'd be done. However finding out she was meeting an ADA secretly at a bar to give them information instead of just writing the article, he would have an aneurysm. Scooping the DA's office or NYPD, that brought in revenue with purchases papers and what was most important to him, clicks. Normally she reveled in rubbing it in his face. Yet, she knew she was doing the right thing. Her sense of morality was much stronger than her sense of ego. Whoever was brutally assaulting women in Manhattan needed to be off of the streets. There had been too many victims and their injuries, what they went through, was bone chilling.

She walked discreetly into the bar making sure not to draw attention to herself; and there he was sipping a scotch at a table in the back. She was surprised that it was SVU having issues solving this case. She had an incredible amount of respect for the unit, especially Olivia Benson. She would never be caught dead disparaging her in anything that she wrote. Not that she wrote like that anyway. She focused on the truth, not rumors. She was the best reporter at her place of employment, but that didn't matter; but she wouldn't change who she was for anything. The lead she had stumbled into was major, she knew what she had to do. Of course there would be conditions. She made her way over to the booth and slid in.

"Sherlock" he greeted her with the annoying nickname he had coined for her. At first, it made her furious, but she had learned to search for it. She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks, thankful that the darker lighting saved her from embarrassment.

"Abogado." She responded with a teasing tone in her voice. He gave her a small smirk.

"What's the emergency. You've never texted me 9-1-1 before." He sounded amused. Truthfully he was intrigued but also nervous, she didn't see much of anything as an emergency, not in the context of their relationship. She adverted her gaze for a moment. She felt utterly exposed when he looked at her like that. Like he knew all of her secrets. Like he could read her like a book; slowly flipping her pages.

At first, he had been snarky and sardonic. The reporters hounded him non-stop about cases, about outcomes, asking questions they knew he couldn't answer, except her. She would hang to the back, taking in the chaos and just waited until they either dissipated or he walked away. She wouldn't push him for answers knowing he couldn't give them. She would just find them on her own. She made sure she never leaked information that the NYPD needed to keep quiet by giving him the professional courtesy of a conversation.

Then, things changed. It all started the night she walked into the bar for a drink to clear her head. She had a horrific case of writers block and she needed to shake it off to meet a deadline. So she took a break. She saw him sitting there with a glass of scotch. She could tell by his pinched expression that he was struggling. She had approached by asking if he wanted to give an exclusive, with her signature smirk. It melted the tension on his face and he laughed.

She should have walked out, yet he was so alluring. He sat there, sleeves of his white shirt rolled up with his navy vest on. He had ditched his tie and his jacket. The case had been a hard one. It was never easy when you had to send a kid to prison because they were charged like an adult. She was incensed that the laws didn't adapt with research. The brain wasn't fully formed until 25. She had written blazing articles about The 8th floor of the District Attorney's office. She never mentioned Barba, he had appreciated that. He hated this case and the outcome as much as she did.

After that, it became a routine. Anything they talked about was strictly off the record unless he specified that she could print what he told her. He became the one person she felt safe venting her frustrations of how her office operated. She was a true investigative journalist and sometimes she felt like she was the only one left. The only one looking for the truth without an agenda.

She had learned quickly what she could and could not publish. She stopped bringing the things she knew her boss would reject to the table and started publishing them online. Her site had grown quickly. It was seen as one of the few beacons of truth. No one knew it was her, except Rafael.

"I got a lead on the case" her voice was hushed. He raised his eyebrows.

"There's a lot of things we haven't included. Things the public don't know about." He tried to shake off her urgency. She was a great investigator, but even SVU had nothing. He watched as she cocked her head to the side.

"You should know better than to doubt me." He saw her lip twitch, holding back a smile. She took his glass and took a sip of his scotch, he didn't even bother to protest at this point. She relished the burning going down her throat. He always chose the best scotch.

"Once again, I'm telling you this so you can get ahead of it. This is something that the public needs to know. Just so you know that my information is solid, I'll even tell you something you do already know but haven't released to the public yet." That had him intrigued. He motioned to the bar tender to bring two more drinks over after he finished the first one off.

"Well, digame." She secretly loved when he slipped some Spanish into his sentences. Sometimes when he was drinking, she didn't know if he even realized he did it. She waited to speak until the bartender left the table after bringing their drinks over.

"The signature. Two pennies are branded onto the victim." He almost choked on his drink. He and SVU had kept that a secret, so secret in fact that it wasn't on any official documents. She could tell she had him. She had become an expert in reading people, in reading him. The way his breath hitched ever so slightly, his leaning in and the tiny twitch at his mouth. There was also a look of fleeting panic in his eyes. Surprising him was always a thrill.

"What's the matter sweetheart? You worried that someone leaked that? Let me set you at ease, they didn't." She had a satisfied look and a ghost of a smile crossed his face. This is what they did. The verbal sparing, the teasing. Their whole relationship, that couldn't be labeled was intoxicating.

"Okay, I'm on the hook, as you like to say. Tell me what I don't know, what Olivia doesn't know." This was the moment she was waiting for all day, to unburden herself. Most journalists, the ones who were money hungry and wanted the sensationalism would have announced it in a huge public way, but not her. She always felt like her insides were Itchy when she held onto something that could help get a dangerous criminal off the streets.

"You are working on the assumption that there is one perp. You're wrong, there are two." She held up her index and middle finger before setting them back down on the table "That's why the two pennies. It's why they don't leave a trace of DNA. They clean up after each other. They know how to make sure there isn't a single fiber left behind and they've been doing this for years." She saw his eyes darken, she wasn't sure why.

She expected more of a reaction instead of silent brooding. Then, he did something completely unexpected, he reached for her, his fingertips gracing her knuckles. The contact was brief, but it was enough to send electricity into her hand and through her body. There was a look in his eyes that she had never seen before. It was something like fear mixed with concern.

"Where did you get this information?" His voice was tight and it was making her anxious. She took a long sip of her drink that the bartender had brought over. They were there so often that when either one of them came in, the bartender knew exactly what they would order. He always had a scotch and she had a raspberry vodka with a splash of pineapple juice and club soda. Rafael always made fun of her for the drink. What she didn't know was that he loved that her drink choice was as nuanced and layered as she was. His hand was rested on the table so close to hers that she could feel the heat of it and craved the feeling of it.

"A very reliable source and before you ask, the answer is no. I won't give up my source. They are highly credible and I won't put them in anyone's crosshairs." He closed his eyes for a moment. Trying to decide if he would follow this lead. She was always on the mark, he didn't think that had changed.

"I know. I know not to even ask at this point. I understand. I'm just worried about you. These men are sadistic. If they find out you are getting close, they could come after you." She couldn't quite place the look on his face anywhere on the scale of emotions. Whatever it was, she felt like someone was pounding on a base drum in her heart.

"These two men, they um, they know how to handle a crime scene. They're not amateurs." She didn't want to say it out loud. It was never something you wanted to have to say.

"You think they have a law enforcement background." He said it for her. She didn't say anything for a moment, she rolled her lips together, making them almost disappear for a moment.

"Yes. My source is certain. They have never been wrong. They've been all over the Tristate area. They avoid detection by changed their signature. Regardless of what the choose, it includes two of the same thing." He hooked his middle finger around her own, a look of alarm on his face.

"You have to stop investigating, immediately. Hand everything over to Benson. This is too dangerous." He spoke quickly. She felt her stomach clench. For a while now, she knew there was something between them; something that they left unsaid. It floated all around them.

At first, they had both pretended to bump into each other, neither realizing that it was intentional. Eventually, they fell into a routine. Meeting at the bar, stopping by his office late at night while he was working late, so late in fact that he was the only one left in the building.

"I can't. This is my story. This is what I was made for. This story will put me on the map. This will get me out of that hell hole, to an organization that will allow me to do what I've been put on this Earth to do. This could get me a Pulitzer." She saw a wave of fury cross his face, it was like she said something so incredulous that it was offensive.

"Your life is worth it?" She scoffed. The double standard at work at the moment was astounding. She yanked her hand away. He almost looked wounded.

"Like your job isn't dangerous? The hypocrisy is stunning. Or is it because you don't see what I do as important? You don't think it makes a difference? I've uncovered things you and a team of detectives would never be able to find because of the network I have built, the trust I am owed. Try solving this one on your own. I'm done helping. I'll keep doing what I do and when you all look foolish, don't come crying to me about it. Clocks ticking, I release this info in 24 hours." Her yell was in a hushed tone, trying not to draw attention to them. She downed the rest of her drink, threw a $20 bill down on the table and stormed out, rendering him speechless for a moment. Before he could stop himself, he was up and rushing after her.

She was fast, even in stilettos, he'd give her that. How she wore them day after day he had no idea. Though he always knew she was coming by the sound they made as she walked. Her walk had a cadence that was all her own. He could find her anywhere in a room. He finally caught up to her and was able to cut her off and she came to a halt almost running into him, she stopped with her hand on his chest. He wanted to protest when she pulled it away.

"Move Rafael." Her voice was tight and controlled. He knew she was angry when she used his first name. She tried to walk around him and he stepped in front of her, she huffed, crossing her arms.

"Just stop for a second, please. Just...come here." He took her by the elbow and pulled her closer to the side of the restaurant they had ended up in front of.

"NONE of what you just said is true. None of it. Do you not have any idea how much I respect you? I see how hard you work. I've seen what you've built, all on your own. Not at that stupid paper with an idiot boss that doesn't see you. I see you. What you do is incredibly important. It's just..." his voice trailed off.

"It's just what?" Her voice had softened and she dropped her arms to her sides. He closed his eyes for a moment and let out a breath. He didn't plan on telling her this now, if ever. The complications this could bring, but he couldn't have her thinking he didn't value her.

"It's just that I really care about you, okay? More than I should, in a way that I shouldn't. If your sources know these two men, then they know how sadistic they are. I have actually seen it, with my own eyes. The idea that they would go after you because of what you're writing...I can't..." He couldn't even finish his sentence. All semblance of anger had melted from her face. She put her hand on the side of his face, her thumb ghosting across his cheek.

"You can't what?" Her voice crackled slightly with emotion. She wasn't used to seeing him so vulnerable. His green eyes were scanning her face looking for an answer he needed from her before he gave her one.

"I can't...I can't lose you." Her adverted his gaze and looked at the ground. He felt an increase in anxiety when she didn't say anything. There was one thing about her he knew to be true, she was never speechless. After a few silent torturous moments, she put him out of his misery when she slipped her hand in his. He snapped his head up to look in her eyes. Her eyebrows were knitted together, face flooded with emotion.

"You won't lose me. I...I care about you too in a way that I shouldn't" He licked his lips. Their proximity more apparent than ever. He fought every urge he had in that moment.

"C'mon, let me buy you dinner. We can figure out how to get you the hell out of that hell hole you're working in. Then, we are finding a way to keep you safe. She nodded, and let him lead her by the hand into the restaurant behind them.