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BEDTIME STORIES

When Ardei the one-winged heron successfully walked home to her family in the company of Francis Fennec, it was assumed that she would not be returning to Domain. Indeed, her parents have decided that the risk was too great to live under a nation governed by R.L. Along with that was the belief that the friendship between the two kids would dissipate due to their lack of interaction.

That hasn’t happened, partly due to Ardei’s long-distance schooling with Rachel Einhorn’s class. That’s a lot of it, but in addition to that Ardei likes to be read to at bedtime by Danielle via Zoom. As Francis falls asleep in his mother’s arms, Ardei does likewise hundreds of miles away.

Obviously there is a bond developing, but due to their youth there’s no way of knowing what will come of it. Perhaps they’ll end up more like siblings than as romantic partners. Or they might settle in as pen pals. With social media the possibilities are endless. The only certainty is that these two outsiders have finally found someone to hold on to.

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SECRET AGENT DADS

Edgar got the shampoo commercial thanks to his massive mane. The filming took place later in the week, and the company was pleased with the rushes. If it survives post-production the ad will probably start running in the fall. The big news, of course, is that Miranda’s dads stepped up to become Edgar’s agents. Edgar had been struggling when left to his own devices, and no agency showed an interest in taking him on. Meanwhile, during all this time the dads were networking and making contacts. (It also helped that one of them is a contract lawyer.) I’m pretty sure they had this in mind even before they all moved out West, but they had to wait until Edgar was desperate for their help. Miranda was thrilled when she heard the news, since this solidifies their family unit. She’s always been nervous as to whether her parents would accept her carnivorous husband, and this makes it official even more than the wedding did.

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AUDITION

Miranda and Edgar have lived on the west coast for a couple years now, as Miranda has become an All-Star for the Fresno franchise in the National Gardening League. They live in Burbank with Miranda’s dads, and Miranda does a weekly commute to the Central Valley.

This arrangement was to enable Edgar to establish an acting career, which is progressing in fits and starts. On the plus side, he’s landed some small roles. On the other hand, he hasn’t even been able to land an agent. He keeps going to auditions, but they usually end up being cattle calls. (Literally.)

Edgar finds out about these auditions through the trades, and one came up this week. He overslept, however, and the dads had to push him out the door with a mane of wet hair that dried in the freeway air. By the time they arrived it was quite a sight. By sheer luck, the audition was for a shampoo commercial.

That’s not the end of the story, of course. Continued next week!

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DETHANY'S JOB SEARCH

Dethany and Fi, the Office Oracles, don their flower identities to offer advice on seeding one’s career growth after graduation, while avoiding the wrong kind of corporate fertilizer. https://youtu.be/h3rx2dsJcmA

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RHINO AMONG RABBITS

The rabbit community knows all about Carl, due to his gardening prowess. They intensely follow competitive gardening, and Carl has been on their radar from his earliest days on the Beige University team. Now that he’s become an All-Pro with the Pitchforks his fame has only grown.

Still, it’s one thing to idolize an athlete from afar, and another to welcome him into your midst. Of course it helps that he’s a fellow herbivore so there wouldn’t be the same issues faced by Rudy and Fiona. Carl poses a threat to nobody, except maybe for accidentally stepping on someone.

Leona, of course, is a lioness which is quite different. Even so, during her brief time at the hospital she’s established a reputation as a healer. The big question here is, why have the rabbits suddenly begun welcoming carnivores into their single-species society? The only explanation to me is the election of R.L. When that happened they knew Angelique would have unchecked power for a campaign of revenge. Basically, the rabbits now know they need allies.

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CARE AND FEEDING OF ONE’S PACK

Kell has always regarded Rhonda with respect and admiration, even back when Rhonda was on Rudy’s predator team in high school. In Rhonda Kell saw a younger version of herself in terms of outstanding skills, but also one who is more inner directed than those who seek to command.

Rhonda enjoys hunting in teams, but she prefers to lead by example. All of her coworkers want to be on her squad since she always shares credit (and the best cuts of the meat). Kell, meanwhile, makes sure that Rhonda receives the rewards that she deserves. That includes a seven percent raise which Rhonda happily accepted.

It wouldn’t be accurate to say that Rhonda lacks leadership qualities. She does have them. The thing is that her focus is on the process and on being the best carnivore she can be, and on elevating those around her. Her teams always score highest on their evaluations because she doesn’t make the job all about her.

That’s the best kind of leadership.

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BUN IN THE OVEN

While Leona was still mentally processing the job offer she received last week from the obstetrics hospital, a new development came into view: Donna, the rabbit orderly that she’s befriended, is pregnant and she wants Leona to be her OB/GYN during the process. Leona’s superiors gave their approval. They already want Leona on staff, and having her first patient be one of their employees means they can oversee everything. They scheduled an ultrasound far, far earlier than when that usually takes place. It didn’t show much that was meaningful, but it established a baseline. At any rate, everything seems normal so far. Of course, the wild card in all this is the father. There’s no telling how much of his coyote DNA is part of the fetus, if any. He was hoping the scan would provide an answer, but that was expecting too much at this stage. This would be the perfect time for Edward to come clean to Donna, but so far he’s letting fear guide his actions.

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JOB OFFER

Leona is doing very well in her residency at the hospital in the Rabbit Warren. She had the feeling that her superiors approved of her work in the obstetrics field, but she had no idea that they would offer her a position years before she was fully licensed. Yet, that’s what happened. Her strength and stamina combined with her intense devotion to her field led to the recognition that she was something special. (They’re right.)

Right now she’s making a daily commute from the surface, but full-time employment would make that impossible. Accepting this offer would necessitate living down there, with all that would mean for Carl and little Savanna. They have about three years before making a decision.

As a non-rabbit who grew up in the Rabbit Warren, I would advise against it. I never fit in, and my childhood was one long rejection (except from Dad, of course). I know everyone is different, however, and part of my problem was the threat posed by my quills. Savanna would just have to learn not to charge at her playmates.

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THE HONEYMOONERS

Rudy and Fiona are getting to the point where they really can’t be called newlyweds anymore (especially considering how long their relationship has lasted prior to their wedding day). Still, they haven’t yet had their honeymoon. They know they want to visit Australia but that hasn’t gone beyond the planning stage.

Part of that is due to their careers which are both in the formative stages. In their respective professions of coaching and photography they’re off to promising starts but they’re afraid of breaking their momentum. Of course, Rudy intends to do some recruiting Down Under.

Fiona is especially committed to proving that her images of succulent vegetables are superior to anything that AI can come up with. The whole point behind her advertising work is to depict produce that is actually available for purchase, so faked images are forbidden. She still sees the eventual danger of AI which is created by stealing her work.

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JOURNEY'S END

While we were so focused on the Easter drama, Francis and Ardei were slowly yet steadily coming to the completion of their quest to reunite her with her parents. It took months but they finally arrived at the border, which was guarded by a mob of R.L.’s followers.

Danielle had chosen the kids’ route carefully, where an entrance to the Rabbit Warren was hidden in an approaching tunnel. Dad and Kell provided a diversion while the three travelers took an elevator down to a Customs Office serving the rabbit species. Most rabbits despise R.L., so the staff went out of their way to help them cross the border underground.

Ardei was happily reunited with her parents, but there are others who have been unjustly separated as well. They need to be brought home to their families as well.

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HAPPY EASTER

Sometimes the Easter Bunny duties are uneventful, but it seems our family always attracts drama around this time of year. This evening was no exception.

By now you know how the story played out so I won’t recap it here. Suffice to say, it took contributions from all involved to prevail. As an added bonus, all the eggs were hidden, and the group’s identities remained hidden as well.

I will say that Fenton, Turvy and I drove up to Domain just so Turvy could hunt for eggs placed by Coney and Wendell. That happened before any of the excitement started, and Turvy discovered the eggs in the morning with her bat echolocation. She was delighted with her accomplishment, as well she should be. They weren’t easy to find.

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UNEXPECTED BODYGUARDS

Short post this week, since events are moving quickly. Basically, Dad and Kell were never going to let Coney do the Easter Bunny assignment unsupervised, so they shadowed the group as they wore the new foot coverings known to humans as “Shoes.”

That fooled most of the egg carriers, but not Coney. She possesses the hunting skills of both predator and prey so she’s almost impossible to sneak up on. She quickly sensed her parents.

However, there were others in the vicinity and those had malign designs. I’ll post more when I have more information on what’s happening.

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EASTER LION

With everything else going on these days (Did you march yesterday?) there’s also the matter of the annual Easter Bunny program. Even though Miranda no longer lives in this part of the country, Domain is still her assigned territory for distributing eggs. Besides, she’s kind of invested in Wendell’s apprenticeship, just as Rudy and Fiona are.

Speaking of Fiona, she won’t be on the team. When she and Rudy were allowed to become residents of the Rabbit Warren, it was due to their status as *Former* Easter Bunnies. If she continued to accompany them, that might complicate her status.

That’s why the crew will be Miranda as the official EB, Wendell as apprentice, and Coney and Lin as bodyguards. Bodyguards are usually older than age 10, but this is Coney we’re talking about. Lin is no slouch, either.

Miranda has flown here from California, and preparations are underway that also include her using lion pheromones. It’s a good thing her gardening team has an off week.

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COMMON DEFENSE

Things are definitely changing in the Rabbit Warren, long an insular society known for treating interlopers with the harshest possible punishments, and exiling those who deviated from their norms. Growing up down there, I was allowed to stay only due to Dad’s advocacy. When he married Kell we were both kicked out. In recent years things began to loosen, especially with the acceptance of Rudy and Fiona. However, what really has accelerated change is the election of R.L. Rabbits understand the strategy of divide and conquer, and R.L.’s followers are using that against prey. With this has come the realization that all herbivores need to unite against a common threat. That won’t be easy as it flies against long-held practices and the instinct to withdraw behind one’s own defenses. Reaching out to other plant-eaters isn’t hard-wired into the species. However, self-preservation is.

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FOOTWEAR FASHION

Rudy has numerous talents, but one that he seems to let slide is his artwork. While his gardening abilities are providing him with a career in coaching, he first made a name for himself with a webcomic about humans. Of course, as we know, there’s not much money in the field of webcomics. Ahem.

Still, when it came to finding a designer for foot coverings, our parents rightly turned to Rudy. (Fiona was pleased with this development.) He was initially reluctant since it would take his focus off his current workload, which is considerable. Once he got into it, however, he began to enjoy the process again.

At the end of the week he submitted twenty color sketches for a variety of species. They were given to a production company, along with a shipment of leather made from DFM deerskin. The company turned them around in ten days, and they were submitted to the patent office.

All this took place while Ardei and Francis were still on the road. The patent was approved, and DFM began taking orders. Soon, Ardei’s cheering fans were lining the route, all wearing shoes of Rudy’s designs.

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SHOE FLY

Aldie’s journey continues to attract a great deal of attention and support, and the well-wishers have noticed the unusual foot coverings that she and Francis wear. In the human realm they’re known as “shoes,” and here that term exclusively refers to the devices that protect horses’ hooves. (Don’t ask me how I know about the human dimension.)

To show solidarity with the kids, people have begun wrapping their hind paws in leather and attaching them with laces, even though the wearers have zero physical need for them. Creating the shoes requires a certain amount of skill, and leather workers are filling that niche. It’s still very much an ad hoc process, though, and so far no one has commercialized it.

Danielle has been making shoes for Francis since he was little, so she knows more about their production than anybody. She’s kind of preoccupied now, however.

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WALK THE LINE

Ardei and Francis continue their migration, going directly against R.L.’s edict. His executive action is currently tied up in courts, so law enforcement isn’t taking any steps to stop the kids. However, the pair have become a symbol of resistance against R.L.’s high-handed brutality, and supporters line the route they’re taking, holding signs of encouragement.

Each night Danielle and the kids bed down at the home of a sympathetic host. Dad does a thorough background check first, and he’s unmasked a number of R.L.’s carnivores seeking to put a quick end to the journey.

Rabbits have become an important ally, and not just due to Danielle’s supervision. They see R.L. as a unique threat and are finally rethinking their isolationist stance. In taking an active role in resisting R.L. they’re joining forces with other species for the first time.

I’d like to think my family has something to do with that development.