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bed covered in plushies is a wonderful idea until you have to change the sheets and then you'll discover true pain

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whenever i order food i get nervous that the doorbell will annoy my roommates so i turn it off temporarily and tell the delivery person to just knock. but then i get nervous i might not hear the knocking so i go sit by the front door a few minutes early to make sure i hear it. but then i get nervous that if i open the door too quickly the delivery driver will think it's weird that i was waiting there so i wait an additional 10-15 seconds before opening it and feign that i just came down the stairs. i am built normal and socially average.

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Someone please explain to me how it is possible to read the harry potter books and not acknowledge as fact that Snape bullies those kids

Like i dont give a shit whether u think hes a redeemable character or not, i mean that u can fully ignore that he was a 13 year old child's worst fear.

HUH

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I'm crying

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#Close Enough Welcome Back Jess Mariano 

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how i want this to happen? I'm so glad you asked

it's the morning of the wedding, jeremiah is acting cagey so belly goes to talk to him.

he finally reveals that he does indeed know about christmas and that's why he picked the fight over spring break. Belly vehemently denies anything happening and decides she needs to tell him that conrad confessed his feelings.

jeremiah is enraged, he starts ranting at belly, much like before spring break, accusing her of loving conrad this whole time, that how can he even be sure she's telling the truth about christmas, something probably did happen, she must have cheated on him.

[the song is on in the background now]

belly in turn is also pissed because how dare he accuse her of that, he's the cheater not her, this is just his inferiority complex coming out again. how can she possibly be the same as jeremiah, nothing happened. but it further proves to her that she is indeed still in love with conrad.

this is the final push she needs to call off the wedding.

Me personally? If i dont see guilty as sin? in next week's ep, i will RIOT

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Me personally? If i dont see guilty as sin? in next week's ep, i will RIOT

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It's actually quite crazy to me when Conrad calls Belly out "who are you". Because it has so much impact. After the relationship with Conrad ended and Susanah died she NEEDED someone so bad, and the only person that NEEDED someone as much as her was Jeremiah. So she clung to him and got in a relationship just to not process the grief of everything happening.

So for, the past four years all she has been doing is convince herself that this is who she is when she's not. Because she let go of who she is in the process of trying to unlearn loving Conrad. Her childhood, the entirety of which she spend loving Conrad is WHO SHE IS. They are her foundation. Being optimistic, calling people out for bad behaviour (asking Conrad to stop smoking), being confrontational and seeking answers to everything IS who Belly is. But in the time jump she's become this mothering girlfriend who forgives everything her boyfriend does and gives into his every whim. Does not confront anything, does not question anything and blindly tries to convince herself this is what she wants. Because when she faces reality she'll have neither Conrad (since he was in California and she thought he didn't love her) nor Jere (because Jere is not what she wants).

THIS is not Belly at all. But Belly is in her bubble of denial, constantly telling herself it's who she is. But all it takes for all this to turn around IS ONE DAY. ONE DAY IN THE VICINITY OF CONRAD. NOT EVEN SPEAKING A LOT. That's what it takes for the first cracks in her denial.

Then to strengthen her denial she says yes to the wedding. But yet again, Conrad. Staying with him is a reminder of who she truly is, of who she truly wants. So she does what she does best and avoids him. When she can't she lets one moment of weakness slip up. Then goes back to the cycle of denial. All of this to protect herself from reality. To stay in her illusion of happiness.

So now, even after having sex with jere why does she have a montage of Conrad in her head? Why does she reveal she'd always imagined Conrad? That this wasn't her dream wedding? Why does she break down crying not once but twice after Conrad's confession?

Because it HURTS. It hurts her to face reality. The mere possibility of being hurt by conrad again is way worse than any real hurt jere causes her. Because with Conrad it's hard to pretend. It's hard to create a bubble of delusion and denial and this illusion of happiness. Because everything is way too real with him, the love, the feelings, the passion, the heart break. All of it. And she doesn't know if she's ready for it yet.

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This is so so so important and its becoming even more obvious as the episodes progress ESPECIALLY with this last one

So spoilers for ep 7 lol

Belly's never liked jere smoking weed, she doesn't do it herself, shes the one who tells them to go outside to smoke, shes the one cleaning up inside, shes not drinking as much, shes not eating the gummies, and shes not wasted after the parties.

She's mothering every single person at that party and you can SEE how frustrated it makes her to be the only one taking things seriously.

Yes jere is finally deciding he wants to mature and put in the work and be better for belly and himself and if they hadnt pushed the wedding so hard, (and this might an unpopular opinion as a bonrad shipper) they probably couldve made it.

Assuming jere couldve made that decision without the wedding. BUT because of the wedding and because of the betrayal with Cabo, Belly's checked out and completely in denial about it. She's doing what she thinks she has to because this is what shes always done, and she hasnt started really thinking about what she wants for herself until now.

(I ended up on a tangent so this might not be as related to op's post as i meant it to be lol)

Conrad or Jeremiah isn’t about a “who's better” choice, it’s about different stages of life.

when Belly was 16, she, like most of us at that age, went for the “shiny” things. she chose Jere because he gave her emotions, love, and openness. Conrad wasn’t emotionally available then, and the constant rollercoaster with him wasn’t what a 16-year-old wanted from a relationship.

but as we grow, we see that “easy” isn’t enough. Belly's not 16 anymore, and the fun option doesn’t work forever. she can’t truly rely on Jere. (those memes about “the summer I turned into a mother” say it all)

now, Conrad fits her life in a way he didn’t back then. he understands her, cares, loves and cherishes her. if she don't want a big wedding or to spend money on a chocolate mirror-glazed cake, he’d be by her side without hesitation. she can be herself with him. she can be open about what she wants (not that it's needed, Conrad reads her well enough) and doesn't have to dim herself to fit into someone else's needs (wedding and Paris). she's outgrown Jere at this point. because we're seeing the story through her eyes, it all comes down to what she needs.

at the end, Belly deserves freedom, not a lifetime of feeling trapped. (team Laurel!) like we all do actually

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SHRIEKING...WE CANT BE FRIENDS & CONRAD FLASHBACKS

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you know what’s really rude and annoying and infuriating all at once?

sitting down to write, and my brain immediately going “nap time” mode.

like. no. what do you mean you’re sleepy now?? what do you mean you’re all awake when we’re scrolling on tumblr but shut down when it’s time to write?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?? WE’VE BEEN WAITING TO WRITE ALL DAY—

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She's Ron's sister, Harry told himseld firmly. Ron's sister. She's out-of-bounds.

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Genuine tears were shed during the reunion scene between Belly and Laurel...

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I will say as a lover girl myself, them having belly forget important things about conrad like the stamp collecting and being a geek and also attributing her core memories of him to someone else is just so PERFECT because, for people who've done it, it encapsulates so well the experience of forcing yourself to get over someone. It was not something that fizzled out on its own or you grew apart or something out of your control. It was the active process of saying to yourself "i put too much of myself into this, this clearly wasnt what i thought it was, i cannot continue being this invested"

Its just so perfect for showing a) belly's perception of her relationship with conrad and how it ended (aka why she says he broke up with her when technically she's the one who did) and b) how unreliable of a narrator she is.

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I love that once Conrad convinces Laurel to be a part of the wedding, thats when Belly's doubt really starts to come to the surface. because the ONLY reason she was so set on this wedding was bc just like her mom, she's stubborn. she only said yes bc JUST like Laurel said, they got caught up in the fear of losing Steven.

time has passed and now she's realizing "holy shit. I'm not ready to get married?!?!?" while also having to finally face Conrad, who she's been avoiding ever since spending literally just 1 whole day with him.

like yes she was showing doubt at the club, but she kept just telling herself it felt like this bc her mom wasn't gonna be there. yet once her mom's there, she STILL looks at Taylor and basically tells her she doesn't want to get married anymore.

and then Jeremiah tells her that memory is Conrad and she realizes... she can't trust herself. she always loved that memory of Jeremiah, it was a core memory that was a REASON she always thought she loved him. it was a memory she used to excuse his behavior!!! he does something selfish or stupid and she thinks "okay but I KNOW Jeremiah. he's the kid that cried when Rosie was taken away. he didn't MEAN to hurt me."

but suddenly, he's not that person. suddenly, all of her excuses for his behavior are gone. suddenly, the person she thought she always loved as a kid was once again, Conrad.

and if that's right, then what if he DID want to kiss her when she ate that peach.

Belly's determination to get married was all tied together by one single string: her stubbornness. the moment Laurel decided to be supportive, suddenly everything started to unravel.

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being anti ai is making me feel like in going insane. "you asked for thoughts about your characters backstory and i put it into chat gpt for ideas". studies have proven its making people dumber. "i asked ai to generate this meal plan". its causing water shortages where its data centers are built. "ill generate some pictures for the dnd campaign". its spreading misinformation. "meta, generate an image of this guy doing something stupid". its trained off stolen images, writing, video, audio. "i was talking with my snapchat ai-" theres no way to verify what its doing with the information it collects. "youtube is impletmenting ai based age verification". my work has an entire graphics media department and has still put ai generated motivational posters up everywhere. ai playlists. ai facial verification. google ai microsoft ai meta ai snapchat ai. everyone treats it as a novelty. every treats it as a mandatory part of life. am i the only one who sees it? am i paranoid? am i going insane? jesus fucking christ. if i have to hear one more "well at least-" "but it does-" "but you can-" im about to lose it. i shouldnt have to jump through hoops to avoid the evil machine. have you no principles? no goddamn spine? am i the weird one here?