vnillacokee

[vnillacokee]

are you ready for anorexic academic autumn????? 🍂☕️👻

[vnillacokee]

attempting to high res starting right now until my 15th birthday 🤍 (september 16th) the fasting timer is just to mark the time !

whats allowed :

diet drinks, zero, sparkling water, water, cranberry juice

anything under 100 cals per 2 days - or omad a toddler sized portion of whatever but no more food for 2 days

ill also be drinking lemon ginger tea every morning and night + 1 gallon of water

my workout plan :

• 30 minutes worth of yoga a day

• 2 hours volleyball

• 10k steps

[vnillacokee]

M3an$p0 !!

Just. Say. No.

You can’t even control your own fucking body?

It's not like anybody else is. So who’s in control?

Obviously not you.

If you would just suck it the fuck up like the actually skinny girls do, maybe then you’d finally realize that no decisions you make can happen without your consent.

You are deciding to make yourself fat every time you eat something regrettable.

Nobody can make you do anything.

You are choosing to.

So starve, do it out of spite, do it out of anger. 

School can run your life, your parents can tell you what to do, but no one can control your body but you. 

Remember, you do not have to feel any certain way about something in order to get it done.

You don’t need to focus, you don’t need to smile, you don’t need to think, just starve. Zone out. You’re not hungry. You are not your body. You’re not here. You are light, you are empty, you are high.

Feel the thrill of control with every bite you don't take.

[vnillacokee]

why is edtwt so soft and boring😭 i honestly only have it now because i feel like most of the ed community is over there and theres good tips and thinspo accounts too

[vnillacokee]

"Slut era" as I get the high feeling from starving myself

[vnillacokee]

I am going to kill myself

[vnillacokee]

───୨ৎ──────୨ৎ──────୨ৎ────

oh for it to be fall again 💔💔 I miss living off of hot apple cider and walking through the fall leaves

73 days…! 😊

[vnillacokee]

I'm gonna figure out the LONGEST it could possibly take me to lose 20kg ans I'm gonna attempt to fast until I lose it - because I really can't stand being fat anymore

[vnillacokee]

the most validating symptoms are actually the most annoying (ノ﹏ヽ) I don't mind the hunger but I can't even sleep because of how cold I am and my parents always tell me they won't close the window or turn on the heat because it's summer. and the dizziness feels SO good but it's hard to hide :(

[vnillacokee]

if I lose 1kg by the end of this week I'll be at a underweight bmi !!🥹

[vnillacokee]

thinking about starving in a spiritual way, cleansing out the old and toxic energy stored in my body, transforming into something and someone new

[vnillacokee]

VENT !!

I'm asking here because it's so hard to get interactions on edtwt but how can I distract myself from my boyfriend..

he's stressing me out so much and hes cheated before and he goes a day without even checking up on me but he says it's because he's busy with his sport :(

I'm just really insecure because I'd never know if he was talking to another girl since he's in college

and I'm in highschool and I trust him to an extent but it's just really hard..

and when I talk to him about it he says it'll be okay and he'll be less busy later or he brings up the fact he's told me before that this was gonna happen

he says he loves me alot everytime he comes back and reassures me but he did the same thing a few weeks before he broke up with me the first time

he gradually starts talking to me less and blames it on busyness and talks about sm other people without saying their names and its easy for him to go days without talking to me (we usually talk all day every day when we're on good terms and he's VERY clingy he doesn't even like when I go off his dm while we're talking to each other.

'm just really scared and i don't know if I'm being paranoid or not but I told him about how I was in the er and then later on in the same message i told him how I feel (about what I'm talking about here) and he only replied to that part and not even a are you okay.

but he is really good to me in general.. so I really don't know what to do but the whole situation is making me really sick

[vnillacokee]

end of day 1 and I did kind of good I guess.. I was forced to eat out and everytime i asked for small amount of food i was told i wouldn't be satisfied but I stayed under 1300! ^^

iced tea - 145

burger - 785 ..˶ˊᜊˋ˶

fries - 350

forgot my steps so tomorrow I'll do 16-20k !

[vnillacokee]

having cute clothes that just BARELY fit you / fit you is the best becuz what do uu mean I only need to lose a inch to fit my fav skirt comfy or tone up so I don't look pudgy >< ?!?!

[vnillacokee]

day 1 - 15:26 / early afternoon

I think I'm doing pretty good so far !!:3 I dunno if I can do my workout because I'm already weak but I definitely do my stretches (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ i might have teeny snack at class though - it'll be so humiliating eating there but it's the rules I guess˶ˊへˋ˶

[vnillacokee]

m expirementing w my ed rules to see wut works best for me so here's mi list for dis week for anyone interested - I'll give updates how I feel nd how much I lost evwyday ^^! (also changing my account aesthetic (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ

ED RULES :

• 8-10k steps daily (minimnum is so low bcuz I'd be very sleepy following these rules (ノ﹏ヽ) )ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

• only eat around others to not raise suspicion - if theres no chance to not eat around S0MEONE, don't eat !

• don't eat any food no matter how hungry I'm if theres unavoidable plans to go out to eat later on even if it's not confirmed

• 24hr fast every other day of the week, omad / intermittent fast toddler portions !! ˶ˊᜊˋ˶

• noo eating while doing any tasks !! like cleaning, school work, etc, no eating if am tired because , go to sleep ??┐(￣ヘ￣)┌

• only drink 0 cal drinks with the exception of silk vanilla milk !(˶ˆᗜˆ˵) num num num

• I eat vegan nd no junk food for this whole week - again with a exception of If I had no other choice

• drink atleast 2 litres of water !

I probably add more latr but for now this is all I can come up with :3

[vnillacokee]

I get so upset when i ask myself why I'm not losing weight (=｀ェ´=) it's because you aren't starving fatty..