vnillandcigrtts

[vnillandcigrtts]

i have began my descent on the tumblr to substack pipeline

the ex writer in me has never been happier

[vnillandcigrtts]

pls send me asks !!!

i’m bored i need entertainment

[vnillandcigrtts]

quotes from crush that keep me up at night

i want to tell you this story without having to confess anything.

you see, i take the parts that i remember and stitch them back together to make a creature that will do what i say or love me back.

you are a fever i am learning to live with, and everything is happening at the wrong end of a very long tunnel.

here is the repeated image of the lover destroyed.

i don’t really blame you for being dead but you can’t have your sweater back.

the radio aches a little tune that tells the story of what the night is thinking. it’s thinking of love. it’s thinking of stabbing us to death and leaving our bodies in a dumpster.

and you realize the one person in the world who loves you isn’t the one you thought it would be, and you don’t trust him to love you in a way you would enjoy.

there’s only one thing i want, don’t make me say it, just get me bandages, i’m bleeding, i’m not just making conversation.

i think i’d rather keep the bullet. it’s mine, see, i’m not giving it up.

if you love me, henry, you don’t love me in a way i understand.

actually, you said love for you is larger than the usual romantic love. it’s like a religion. it’s terrifying. no one will ever want to sleep with you.

you, the moon. you, the road. you, the little flowers by the side of the road. you keep singing along to that song i hate. stop singing.

there’s a part in the movie where you can see right through the acting, where you can tell that i’m about to burst into tears, right before i burst into tears.

i said my arms are very long and your head’s on fire. i said kiss me here and here and here and you did.

you’re going to die in your best friend’s arms. and you play along because it’s funny, because it’s written down, you’ve memorized it. it’s all you know.

in the dream i don’t tell anyone, you put your head in my lap.

you had a bottle of pills but i wouldn’t let you swallow them. you said will you love me even more when i’m dead? and i said no, and i threw the pills on the sand. look at them, you said. they look like emeralds.

the face in the mirror is a pale and naked hostage and no one can tell which room he’s being held in.

you were burned, you were about to burn, you’re still on fire.

sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine.

we have not touched the stars, nor are we forgiven, which brings us back to the hero’s shoulders and the gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it. 

there are many names in history but none of them are ours.

i wanted to hurt you, but the victory is that i could not stomach it.

we know how it works. the world is no longer mysterious. 

[vnillandcigrtts]

might just pay someone to write my frankenstein essay for me

[vnillandcigrtts]

me @ all my past lovers

Virginia Woolf, from a letter to Vanessa Bell written c. August 1908

[vnillandcigrtts]

when phoebe bridgers said "the billboard said 'the end is near'" and when harry styles said "they told me that the end is near" and when taylor swift said "i know they said the end is near"

[vnillandcigrtts]

and in that moment, you realised this was what being a teenager was about, and you wondered how you could have lived for anything else

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last ever day of school in a week today!! (i feel like violently throwing up)

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mary lambert was so real when she said "i only know how to exist when i'm wanted" like (!!!!) me fr

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seventeen was my great perhaps.

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it truly is something when you tell your ex to read 'mad girl's love song' by sylvia plath and they reply saying 'in what way did you make me up inside your head' and then block you

[vnillandcigrtts]

moonstruck

/ˈmuːnstrʌk/

adjective

unable to think or act normally, especially as a result of being in love.

"a moonstruck but tragically unrequited lover"

[vnillandcigrtts]

another day, another playlist inspired after a line of sylvia plath's poetry

[vnillandcigrtts]

the descent to womanhood is reading 'mad girl's love song' for the first time

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there is nothing more humbling than your friend doing a dramatic reading of 'mad girl's love song' by sylvia plath to the rest of your english lit class and pausing three times to turn to you and say "this poem is SO you".

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guess it's time to know everything at 18.

when lorde said "it feels so scary getting old" and when frank ocean said "we'll never be those kids again" and when taylor swift said "it's supposed to be fun turning 21" and when mitski said "mom am i still young can i dream for a few months more" and when phoebe bridgers said "how can a person know everything at 18 and nothing at 22" and when haim said "was i fearless at 17 years old or was i faking it?"

[vnillandcigrtts]

janae: ...because we're all just fucking stardust. maeve: well, i see you. and i love watching you glow.