voxglove

[voxglove]

anyone else enjoy cutting their raw vegetables into a plurality of shapes and sizes so that the snacking experience can be varied and exciting

[voxglove]

“I would die for my kids” your children want an apology

[voxglove]

sex pollen is an integral part of the fanfiction ecosystem but i just don't think poison ivy would make anything that encourages procreation of even more humans. unless she figures out how to make the sex pollen same-sex specific or fertility-negating she's not making it at all. #philosophical

[voxglove]

Polyamory life hack

Hook up with your friend. Because she bottoms, she will not have eaten breakfast. She will be quite hungry afterward. To thank you for the good dick, she will take you to Korean Barbecue.

Take your girlfriend on a hike. It will be hot and you will get tired. You will both want protein and cold drinks. Your girlfriend will take you to Korean Barbecue.

Confess to your boyfriend that you ate spicy pork without him. He loves spicy pork. In order to get it, he will take you to Korean Barbecue.

With this simple technique, you can get Korean Barbecue three times!

[voxglove]

Human beings b like. *sits and stares peacefully at a fire* *sits and stares peacefully at the ocean* *sits and stares peacefully at a sleeping animal*

[voxglove]

*Valley Girl voice*: I must, like, not fear. Fear is literally the mind-killer. Like it’s basically the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will totally face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me, and? When it’s gone? I’m gonna like turn the inner eye to see its path! Where the fear has gone there will be literally nothing. Only I will remain.

[voxglove]

[voxglove]

[voxglove]

[voxglove]

A haunted doll mistaking a creepy android to be a bigger, stronger, haunted doll, and the creepy android mistaking the haunted doll as a smaller, sassier android.

Android: [gets hit with rain water and short circuits] Haunted Doll: H̷O̷L̴Y̷ ̶W̵A̷T̸E̷R̶ ̵W̴A̵T̴C̵H̴ ̶O̶U̷T̴

Haunted Doll, dying: N̶E̵E̸D̷ ̷S̸O̵U̵L̸S̷ Android: [opens the haunted doll’s back and replaces the batteries] Haunted Doll: A̶C̶C̷E̷P̸T̶A̷B̸L̵E̴ ̷S̴U̴B̸S̵T̸I̷T̷U̴T̵E̴

Android: [transfers their data into a better body] Haunted Doll: A̸ ̵F̴L̸A̷W̵L̷E̴S̵S̷ ̷B̶O̸D̶Y̵ ̷P̶O̵S̶S̵E̷S̶S̵I̷O̷N̴

[voxglove]

She was a 50 y.o. Siberian woman from 2500 years ago, living a nomadic lifestyle, and look at her tattoos...

Look...

I'm going to cry

[voxglove]

I've been seeing a lot of knight posts recently. pretty great

[voxglove]

[voxglove]

What

[voxglove]

having cocomelon time (reading the black parade lyrics along with the songs so maybe i’ll finally learn them)