vrussellsprouts

[vrussellsprouts]

story time: husband and i went to a convention once as…not guests…okay, well yeah guests but not like. we didn’t buy tickets. invited. we were invited.

i dunno we were like, a meet and greet something or other, i don’t totally remember.

anyway, this was…a while after we (shapeshifters) became public knowledge and i…didn’t realize that some people really didn’t have a complete grasp of the way we function.

kid comes up to us. we’ve been there three, maybe four hours at this point. everyone’s been pleasant, we’re all having a great time. this kid comes up to us, college age, maybe, somewhere around there. very excited to meet us. uh. and then looks me dead in the eye and asks “how did you have kids if you’re an alpha?”

and we just. stared. at this kid. like. what the fuck do you mean “how did i have kids if i’m an alpha”? i dunno kid, same way every other woman has hers??? i shoved them out of my vagina?? like??? i???? HUH??

and so this kid, this poor bastard, then has to explain to us (well, more me than my husband, he started to get it after about five seconds. this was funny apparently. i was fucking appalled.), uh, this kid then explains to us the inner workings of something called the omegaverse, and i have never been more dumbfounded by anything in my fucking life. in my fucking three hundred years on this shitty, shitty planet, and i’m standing in the middle of a convention hall listen to some poor bastard explain omegaverse to me, and it’s getting worse and worse by the second because i’m just starting at this kid and the people in line behind him are gradually realizing there’s some weird shit going on and—and finally the kid leaves (i mean, i at least signed something for him before he left) but what the fuck.

i did not realize some people genuinely thought this was how we functioned (absolutely no shade to the kid, that was a miserable experience for both of us) and i did not realize that was what some people assumed when i went public and said “yeah i’m alpha verna russell and this is my husband alpha johnathan halpern”. i mean i know now but. holy fuck.

[vrussellsprouts]

@painful-pooch i need it so raw it’s still trying to kick me in the face

If you had to pick the best doneness for steak, would Blue Rare be an option?

ohhhhh my gods YES

the rawer the better

[vrussellsprouts]

If you had to pick the best doneness for steak, would Blue Rare be an option?

ohhhhh my gods YES

the rawer the better

[vrussellsprouts]

without hesitation i fucking would have

hi i think verna and phoenix should have sat on the roof of jean’s house and made out in front of lilandra just to spite her 😌

[vrussellsprouts]

husband had to help me make this fucking thing. i wanted to make some of the accents red but guess what i can’t fucking see.

anyhow, hello tumblr. whether i enjoy my stay here remains to be seen.